April 4: Control What I Can

 

Hello all.  I'm sorry I missed posting yesterday.  I went to visit Mama and frankly it was not a happy visit.  I cut it as short as I reasonably could, but I lost my temper more than once and got unpleasantly snippy at the last point.  As you all know, my relationship with my mom has always been rocky at best.  I took the bait she offered and reacted in a way that I felt was less than I'd have liked.  It did not help in the least that she gave a sort of sly smile when I bit that dangled bait.  I knew she felt she'd 'won' something.  For the life of me I can't understand why she wants to be the way she is, nor why I'm not better at controlling my reaction to her actions.

Anyway, I was a bit blue coming home because my internal dialogue after that final upset ran along the lines of scrapping this whole eating plan, going to get something especially high calorie and heavily sweetened and over-indulging.  I'm telling you, as a former compulsive eater, I loathe the days when this habit rears its head, and I start planning a binge.  It's like failing twice in my eyes, to first fall for Mama's trick and then to want my familiar old comfort pattern of overeating.

However, I held firm, avoided all danger zones (stores, drive thru restaurants) and came home, settling for my acceptable portion of dark chocolate and a tall glass of iced water as my 'comfort'.  Then I distracted myself further by digging into genealogy research.  By the end of the day, knowing I'd remained in control of this one former habit was a booster shot for me, a much needed one.

John went out to have lunch with his former partner.  The contractor came by to drop off materials and John wasn't too far behind him coming in.  We talked for a few minutes before Travis left and then John and I had a long talk.  

I went off to bed early-ish but did I go to sleep?  No, I did not.  I dozed here and there and then finally at 4:30, I came to the living room, took up my journal and did a brain dump of all the thoughts that had been repeatedly racing in my head.  About 5am, I crawled into bed and went right to sleep and slept until 8am.  

I realized last night (aka early this morning) that one thing I could do something about was the congestion of things in the back entry.  Travis means to start the paintwork and such in the laundry area.  That is essentially an open closet off the back entry.  John had six pairs of shoes, a chainsaw, other things meant for his shed in that space and that is also where he put the three five-gallon buckets of paint.  There are also two five-gallon buckets we store pet foods in and shopping bags meant to go to the car, etc. etc.  The floor was gritty and sandy.  We'd already started emptying the laundry area into the kitchen sitting area, so the overall appearance was not organized, neat or clutter-free.  It really weighed heavily on me.  I know that essentially this was truly about controlling what I can, the one thing that is within my full ability to handle.  

Well, it's better.  Not quite all I'd have it be, but I've done what I could and now we can move and breathe in that space.  I did a Friday blessing of the house and when I got too warm, I'd sit down and work on copying the new notes into my notebook.  I am so very close to finishing the work on this particular family line and very ready to tackle something fresh on the other side of the family, but I have added a load of information, corrected some mistakes, avoided other mistakes and just generally been interested in what I was doing.  When I'm done, I'll have a far better organized set of notes than I'd had with legible pages to read.

We're supposed to go get gas for my car and the mower.  I tried to fill my own car yesterday and I'm perfectly capable of doing so.  What I cannot do is open the darn gas cap.  I'm a righty.  John's a lefty.  The way he puts that cap back on means that I cannot turn it more than half a turn and then I'm stopped from going any further due to the little tether on the lid that attaches to the door on the car.  In the past I've had to resort to asking random strangers (all men) to wrestle it off for me.  I find this very frustrating because I can open it just fine if I put it on, but I cannot do it when John is the last to put gas in the car.  

I have no clue what we'll have for dinner tonight.  I have sirloin thawed but I'm not sure I want anything that heavy for my last meal today.  I don't have any other reasonable options in mind either.  I know I also need to think now about what meals we'll eat this weekend because I know well, we're going to want something to eat.

Travis is supposed to begin the painting tomorrow.  Sunday we're taking Gramma's Fried Chicken to Katie's house as it's the only time this month we'll see Taylor until the last weekend of the month.  Simple plans overall.

Amazon Associate Affiliate Link:  If you use my link to enter the Amazon site, I may earn a small commission on qualifying purchases.  Thank you!

April 2: Houseful

 

It's warm out there, 86F as I write.  And boy does it feel like spring sprang forward and grabbed a bit of summer to pull forward.  The bees are buzzing about, the roses are budded up and I think every tree has at the least tender leaflets if they haven't put out full leaves.  It is quickly getting into the season of doing things in the early part of the day and sheltering indoors for the latter part.

Today we thought perhaps the painter might be by, but we saw nor heard anything from him.  No worries.  We are a side job, not his main employer.  As it was, we had two of the children from The Manor here while Sam took Isaac to an appointment.  And about lunch time, Katie and Cody stopped in with Bella, Henry and Caleb.  They joined us for lunch.  Sam took his kids home because they were going to get haircuts and then had a planned afternoon at a sports center plus an evening out in addition to all that.  

Caleb and Bella ran around outdoors and played until Caleb got hot.  Then he told Bella she had to come indoors.  He's very protective of her and he wouldn't leave her outside alone.  Bella is just four and Caleb takes his role as big brother very seriously.  He knows that Bella is unaccustomed to the sort of freedom to come and go here that he has learned, and he worries that she will not stay near the house.

Henry didn't sleep a wink the whole time he was here.  He smiled at everyone, accepted the adoration of all the children with a calm and happy countenance, and watched the bigger kids with a look that seemed to say he was going to hurry to catch up.

Mostly I just sat back and watched the children and monitored the behavior that was unacceptable.  I don't hear well but somehow, I can hear the children when they open the guest room closet door, no matter how quietly they attempt to do so, lol.  At one point, Bella said to Caleb, "Gramma said!" and I called out "Thank you Bella."  "Oh, you're welcome."  Little Lady enjoyed that moment of being bossy back to Caleb.

After everyone left, I went ahead and started my supper prep.  I thought I'd take time to tell you what we ate this week, compared to what I'd planned.  

Monday, I decided to make Beef Fajitas rather than the Chow Mein I'd planned.  And that's all we ate, just the fajitas.

Tuesday, I prepared the pan-broiled burgers and served them with mashed potatoes and asparagus.

Tonight, I decided to take my chicken breasts and cut them into halves and I've 'breaded' them with Parmesan cheese.  I'm going to make a Broccoli Cheese Orzo to go with them.   I've never made Orzo before. I'm following a Rachel Ray recipe, just tossing in the broccoli with it on my own.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring.  John has lunch with his friend/former partner.  I planned to go out to have lunch with Mama.  If the painter shows up to paint, we feel comfortable leaving him here alone in the house.  He's worked here on his own before.  

I feel as though I've frittered this whole week away.  And I have!  I didn't do anything Monday; we lolled about on Tuesday and when we came in it was almost time to start supper and here, we are on Wednesday with me having done nothing yet one more day.  I know that this week is unusual, but I'm beginning to feel a bit antsy.  I want to look back at my week and see I've accomplished something.  I'll have to work double time on Friday!

Amazon Associates Affiliate Link:  If you use my Amazon code to enter the site and make a purchase, I may earn a small commission on qualifying purchases.  Thank you!

April 1: Blooming

There are days I don't even know what hit me...

Last week, out of the blue, John started talking about getting the kitchen painted.  I was "Oh okay..." and pretty much paid him no mind.  On Friday, he called one of the contractors who worked on the house in 2023, and he stopped by on Saturday to give us a quote.  

TODAY, we bought paint and supplies, and I think the painting will begin tomorrow!  My head is awhirl!  John is, by his own estimation, a proficient master of procrastination but golly gee, when he makes up his mind, there will be no blade of grass safe in his path.  

March 31: April Showers

 

It's just rained.  All the predictions said we were in for storms, but all we've had is a bit of rumbly thunder and brief, not heavy, showers.  The sky has finally lightened up, not as though it's clearing, but as though the sullen part of the day might be over.  The rain is appreciated as it will dampen the pollen and prevent it floating quite as freely through the air.

March 30: April's Coming!

 

I got a few things done last week and officially I won't be worried any further about what was on March's goals list or weekly to do lists.  Either it was done or left undone, and I can't be bothered to turn and look back.  I did my best.  I was so grateful to finally get my feet back under me and lose that malaise and fatigue that hit me after that bout of flu.  I'll take my wins and forget the losses.

And now it's time to begin a whole new month.  Someone on some short reel on Instagram was saying, "The year's one quarter gone!  Now's the time to get busy..."  Phooey.  There's still three quarters of the year remaining and unless you have a target date for a deadline, let's just plod on and do what we can.  I don't know if I've share it before, it's likely I have, but we have a family motto that is in plain site in our living room.  "It's better to do something and fail, than to do nothing and succeed."  

March 28: Spring Break

 

Spring Break officially begins next week for our children, but Caleb had an added day on this week and so his Mama brought him and Henry over to play at Gramma's house.  Henry fights to get down on the floor these days and spends most of his time either grabbing his feet or rolling over onto his stomach and trying to get his knees under him.  He'll be seven months old here in a little over 10 days.  

I watched as he and Caleb tumbled together on the floor on a blanket.  Later I asked Caleb if Henry had finished his botte and Caleb said, "I think so."  He tried to take him from Henry, who wrapped both hands tightly around it and wouldn't let go!  Henry is a strong little fellow.

March 27: Grocery Day

 

It's incredible to me that we're nearly done with this month...I'd love to ask where it went but I recall too well that for at least two weeks, I struggled with fatigue (residue from that flu) and then for two weeks I have struggled to catch up with all the things I wanted to get done this month.

Today, I headed to the grocery store.  I went alone which was rather nice.  I just went to Aldi and concentrated on produce and eggs, but I did pick up a ham (shank end to divide and bake in whole portions and a boneless sliced ham for sandwiches).  I also got some chicken tenders and a package of breaded veal patties.  But everything else was indeed produce as I'd intended.  We are now stocked and should be good for another two weeks or so.  And I am down only another $130 which means I've spent around $250 this month and that's something to sing about. (Alter that to add in the $67 I spent on Amazon Sub and Save.  Still, I have about $180 left which is nothing to sneeze at either.)

As I said, I was on my own today, John saying he didn't much feel like leaving home.  I don't mind when I get to go out alone, but I find more and more, now that we're in the habit of just being at home so much, that I am prone to say, "Oh I don't need that..." or "Why would I buy this?" and putting things back.  Not just food.  Other things, too.  I'm just not that interested in shopping.  I am, honestly, more interested in getting things that will have a more lasting value in our home, like those curtains I hung yesterday in the guest room.

John shocked me into complete silence yesterday.  He actually contacted one of the workmen who helped renovate our home and asked if he'd paint our kitchen...Wow!  When he hung up the phone he said, "We'll just take the money from the bank and be done with it."  Double Wow!  I wasn't expecting that to be on his radar any time soon.  I'll be so pleased to get the kitchen squared away at last.  

John is off mowing again, this time over at the Manor House as he calls it.  We were much amused on Saturday when Josh said to John, "I think it's time for you to start mowing over our way.  The grass on the secret path is getting pretty high."   John laughed about it later, but it did light a fire under his feet to start his mowing season.  I can't recall starting it this late in years and honestly the grass here in our yard didn't look bad.  In fact, we haven't heard any neighbors mowing their lawns just yet, either.

Today, while I was driving along the roads, I noted that Dogwoods are blooming and Wisteria (which grows wild and free here, taking over like Kudzu).  Wisteria always reminds me of my friend Shirley, who died in 2020.  We were driving along country roads and noted how pretty the Wisteria was along the way in different shades of white and purple.  She said, "Why it's a variable jungle!".  She meant to say it was a veritable jungle, but her slip-up was far more apropos and every Spring when I see the Wisteria I think of that moment with her and laugh all over again.  

I also noted that Tansy was blooming in various places.  Spring flowers, like autumn ones come mostly in purples and golds.  Speaking of purple, when I went out to get in the car this morning, I noted that the purple iris has started to bloom.  I am tempted to go cut another bouquet, but the previous one didn't last too well in the house.  I think it was just too warm in here for them.

Goodness, it's 4:30...I need to plan supper and get it going.  I don't think we'll have a big meal tonight since we ate another very late lunch.  I've put it off too late to get anything cooked in time to eat, so I shall have to go peruse the fridge and see what I might make.

Then I'm going to sit down with the genealogy notebook and work on another section.  My goal is to get all my notes on the proper pages and to make them legible.  It's a long and arduous, but very fascinating, task.

Amazon Associates Affiliate Link:  If you use my link to enter the Amazon site and place an order, I may earn a small commission on qualifying purchases.  Thank you!