Saturday: Rest. It's such a nice thing after a busy week! John worked his usual 24hour shift and came in so tired he could barely speak. To know John, is to know that John is seldom at a loss for words. It was 5pm this evening before he felt reasonably rested enough to speak in full sentences.
I made Turkey and Dressing for our dinner today. Thank goodness I had a can of cranberry sauce in the pantry. John doesn't think it's a proper turkey dinner if there is no cranberry sauce.
I finally got my August issues of vintage magazines out to read. You know what? I proved to myself yet again that as far as value for money goes, I'd rather have a vintage magazine over a modern day one every time. Heck that goes for most movies, books, TV programming, etc. I do like some new authors and movies, but generally you'll find me happily engaged in something vintage.
Sunday: After church today John decided we'd look for a new TV. Ugh. It wasn't the Sunday crowds. It was that every TV we liked, thought we could afford, had the features we wanted...Out of Stock. Every one of them.
The nice part of today was taking a break mid-shopping and stopping at our favorite restaurant for a meal. Never disappointed when we stop there! John said "You didn't have dinner plans anyway, right?" Well...yes I did but you can see how things had gone over the last few months that he was so certain I hadn't! I had set aside turkey and dressing yesterday for our meal today, and we had the option of chili in the fridge, too. Yes, I had TWO items in the fridge for dinner, having planned to give John a choice. "Never mind," I told him. "I did plan ahead but I'll never say 'No' when you offer me the chance to eat here!"
The mower broke down with John this evening. It was terribly hot out there and he was lying in dirt. He was not a happy man when all his efforts at repair failed. I'm afraid our happy day ended on a sour note, with both of us tired and overwhelmed with household worries, sniping at one another. I confess as well to resorting to sulking when all was over and done because I was in just that sort of petty mood. Oh dear! How I do wish my better nature would rise up strong once again!
Monday:
John off to work today. I washed a load of clothes to hang on the line. I couldn't take down the curtains in his music room so I pulled off all the pillow covers to wash with the towels today. One more step to having the house fully cleaned. Big jobs are always easily managed when you do a little at a time.
I found myself making plans for the rest of the day when I remembered it was my day out with Mama. I was actually disappointed that I couldn't spend the day working! Well never mind, since I also recalled John had found a tv online at a store we hadn't visited yesterday and I had been given the job of checking it out and determining if it was what we wanted. I got showered and ready to leave, truly regretting all the work I might have done right here at home.
Mama wanted to buy groceries today. I was happy that she'd taken my advice and begun to use the grocery that is less than a mile from her house. She's had her prescriptions transferred there, too. I bought a few things that I knew were on sale and one item that I hadn't known was on sale, a small container of sherbet. I'd forgotten all about that extra errand of running by the store to check out the TV...Oh gracious! I packed the sherbet in one of the cold bags, then put it in the other bag and then in the cooler. Even in 94f heat, I managed to keep the sherbet from melting although it was over an hour and a half. I'm pretty impressed with the way those bags and cooler worked!
And yes, we got a new TV. Despite the lack of employees offering help, I found the size and type of TV we wanted. At the point where I'd made my purchase no less than six people offered to help me out to the car with it but I felt myself in a pique all over again, just like yesterday and steadfastly refused any help at all, feeling they might have offered help when I arrived in the department and began to look at the television models available, or while I was obviously trying to load the thing in the cart myself. Sigh, yes, that ruinous nature of mine remains!
I rested a little after I got home and got my few groceries and the TV unloaded. But after all, I'd wanted to get things done today, so I got up and went to work. I went over the pantry. I found a few things badly out of date and a few things that had just expired that I felt I could freeze. I set aside a few things that were not flavors we'd normally eat but I knew the household up the road might use. Then I finished clearing out the dresser in the guest room and the user manual file. With all I'd thought I'd do in the guest room taken care of, I emptied out the top drawer of the big ugly file cabinet. I finally stopped working about 8:30 last night. I was well and truly tired and climbed into bed with my current reading, Cranford. I dropped the book before I'd read a page. I woke up just long enough to put away the book.
Tuesday:
I woke early this morning, around 6:30am. I wanted time to shower, drink a cup of coffee and do Bible study before John came in. I had time for all that and prayer and starting breakfast as well. It was the prayer time that was nicest. I haven't had much of a prayer life for the past few months. You can't open yourself to honest to goodness prayer when you're overtired and anxious and complaining. I say truly that I was sick, not in body but in spirit and mind, these past few months. I thought of how often Josh would come stand beside me and say "Gramma, why are you sad?" I felt old and useless. I asked God this morning if He could use me again for prayer...I don't know what His answer will be. I'm ashamed to say I'm willing when I had such difficulty doing the last things I felt sure He'd asked me to do.
John was paid yesterday but never had time to deposit his check, so I had banking, mail, and other errands to run this morning after breakfast. John was working on the mower again when I left. I went out to talk to him before I left home and managed to weed a 2 foot square area of the flower bed as I stood there talking. A few small bits of another big job getting done.
I did the errands and took off the trash, too. While I was out I visited another grocery, one I go to about every three months, to pick up turkey sausage, a certain brand of crackers John likes for work, and an item or two to stretch us out for this pay period. I'll have to buy a gallon of milk this week and some fruit but we should manage well enough without any larger grocery purchases. I do not like the brand milk carried at that particular store. It is the same brand our local grocery carries and I find it doesn't taste well to me. You would think milk would all taste the same, that it is all milk but there is a very decided flavor to different brands of milk.
This afternoon, after our leftover turkey and dressing dinner, John went out to mow, having thankfully gotten the repair done. I vacuumed and as I finished, my phone rang. It was Amie. I hadn't spoken to her in a couple of months, and she was in the mood to chat so I settled down before the file cabinet and worked on sorting out the bottom drawer. I have no place to put the files but they are considerably thinned. I have a few more files to sort out but I have the file cabinet down to printer paper, ink, and files. John came in and showered just as I finished. Perfect timing to sit down and relax together and end our day.
Wednesday: I saw on Pinterest an organizational board for the kitchen that had a corner rack type item that was five tiers tall for use in cabinets to store frying pans and casserole dishes. I thought it quite clever but upon looking at the link I found these items were about $20 each. I happen to have on hand one of the corner plate racks for use in cabinets. True it is only three tiers but it's free. It made sense to me stack my frying pans and make my upper shelf work a good deal better for my purposes. I was so pleased with how well this worked that I mean to go to the dollar store and pick up several more of these plate racks so that I might stack my cast iron frying pans and casserole dishes. I will get one of the vertical standing plate racks for the casserole lids to go on. Or so that is the plan.
This morning I have already been productive. I've weeded the entire back flower bed. I found two Madonna lily buried in the lantana growth and pulled those up to replant in the half barrel with the other lilies. I also found a small bit of Angelonia that had come up and bloomed. I put it in an empty pot where I shall take the now rooted coleus to plant, as well. I may not have been able to buy and plant this year but I have been rewarded with a summer wet enough to allow me to find plenty of volunteer plants to use.
I sorted out the canned goods in the kitchen cabinet and found only another can of Salmon that was well past the 'use by' date. I don't take these dates too seriously but these few items I have tossed were beyond my comfort zone for use. Mind you, I did feed the last can to the cat and she's none the worst for wear, so she shall have the second can as well. John is not a fan of salmon at all and Mama gifted me these cans. I would much rather buy just one at a time than have a supply on hand because I so seldom eat it myself.
As I accounted for the 'ways of my household' this morning, I took a personal account, as well. There is nothing so horribly disappointing I think, as to realize your personal failures and repeated failings. I lay abed early this morning counting, not blessings as I ought to have been, but unanswered prayers. Prayers that were sown in good faith that God would answer and the result has been a crop failure. I confess that the prayers I enumerated as unanswered were for healings that didn't occur, relationships that have suffered, success in businesses I've attempted to bring to fruitfulness and watched fail. The contrast of what I ought to have been doing and what I'd done was plain as John came to sit beside me on the porch this morning and began to enumerate how God has blessed our home. With John beside me talking about blessings, I saw yet another failure in my life. I'd lost sight of gratitude and my focus had been askew.
This afternoon the boys came to stay with us for a few hours while Sam and Bess were at work. Isaac had changed, grown more slender and his face leaner. He'd walked heavily on the floors when he lived here sounding much like a horse walking through the house. When he came in, he began to run. Not the heavy footed tread he'd had before but a gentle trot, something more ephemeral than a boy.
Josh came in from school quite happy to be here. He and Isaac played together and the three of us had supper while John was up the road mowing the yard at their house. As we ate, Josh stopped and said "It's not the same." "What's not the same, dear?" "The house. It's changed. It's different." I looked about at my home. Yes. It is changed. It's cleaner and neater and quieter. It's less than it was in some ways, as am I.
After supper, Josh unearthed his Dinosaur mask and we took turns being a dinosaur. The boys seemed to enjoy my playing as though I was afraid the best of all. Isaac was a darling dinosaur and the least scary thing with his curls bouncing about the mask. Sam came in to get the boys while we were at play. I really enjoyed that time with the boys and while I don't want to be full time babysitter I do not mind being on call now and then.
Thursday: I sent John off to work as usual, and did my Bible study with my mind half on all the things I hoped to accomplish and half upon a matter that required real thinking out and deep prayer, as well. I ended taking my journal and writing out my list and thoughts and going back to the prayer and study. Sometimes, it's just best to clear out those things and then turn my full mind to study.
What a very busy day it's been. I haven't accomplished all I'd thought I might, but I've done plenty. It was foggy this morning and damp, so what better time to go outdoors and wash the back porch railings? I worked for a good couple of hours and got about half the inside of the railings done. I did not finish today but that is all right with me. I do believe in the 'small bites' method of doing big tasks and find that I get just as much done as if I'd worn myself all out on one job at once.
I came back indoors and hung out the load of clothes I'd left washing while I was outdoors. I decided after that to dry off in the shower, lol. Then I sat down and had a tall glass of water...and I was ready for round two.
I'd planned this week to get my appliance cupboard better organized and today was prime time to work on it while I had the house all to myself. I'm so pleased with how it turned out. I borrowed from here and there in my kitchen and dining room to make it happen. I'd thought I'd have to go to the dollar store to do this task so I was quite pleased to find I had all I needed.
After I finished the appliance cupboard I went to work on the broom closet. Over the last few months it had gotten quite dirty. I'd thought I'd try to rearrange it but I when I tried the new arrangement I could see that it wasn't going to work as I'd wanted. John called mid-way through this task and I told him how much I wished I had a way to cover the floor of the cupboard since the board there was peeling. I explained I didn't really want to leave the house today but I guessed after all I'd have to go to the dollar store. "Why don't you use a door mat?" he asked. I immediately thought of one I knew was in the shed.
As I was gathering up things to take to the shed with me (I try never to waste a trip, whether it's across the yard or across the county), I found another piece of carpet remnant in the pantry closet. I'd picked up one last night to put in front of the front door, after I'd realized I was tracking sand off the front porch and over the carpet. For the broom closet, I needed to cut the piece just a little to make it fit but it covered the floor quite nicely and somehow the whole looks so much nicer that I wish I'd done something about it ages ago. Have you ever wondered why you've put off some little task like that?
I had one more job I'd meant to tackle today but it's evening now and perhaps it will wait until tomorrow. I've a slight headache and a little anxiety going on at present. I so dislike this feeling that something really awful is about to happen or has happened and I've yet to hear about it. I do find when I'm tired, as I am now, it's more common. Unfortunately on days like today, when I am up especially early, even an early bedtime seems like it is a long way away.
No doubt it was a mistake on my part to watch the movie "The Tenant of Wildfell Hall", written by Anne Bronte. Gracious! those Bronte girls were a very dark lot overall, were they not? I highly recommend watching it, but must warn you there are some suggestive scenes and it's 3 hours long.
And before I leave off tonight, have you seen the ad for the newest adaptation of Little Women? It's based on today's fashions and I'm both appalled at the idea of it and certain that as timeless a story as Miss Alcott wrote, if done properly could be well suited to a modern day setting. However, I'm just cynic enough to bet that a great deal is written in that was never mentioned or intended by the author.
Now I shall bid you good night and get myself a dose of anxiety medication. Drat this feeling of impending doom!
Friday: Last night I caught up on Mountain Men, a series on History Channel that appeals to me. I had planned to watch House Hunters International for a Paris episode but I never made it through Mountain Men, so I toddled off to bed and fell into a deep sleep and stayed there until about 5am this morning when I was awakened from a dream. I expect the reason for awakening was the old fashioned alarm clock next to the bed. As the hands go round the face, the hour and will make a 'click' as it passes over the alarm hand. I dozed off and on and did some thinking.
A great deal too much thinking perhaps this morning before John came in from work. I found myself feeling a little navy-blue as the morning moved on. No good reason except wishing I could have things different for others and do more than I can do for us all. Reality bites at times.
We had planned to run errands today. Thankfully our plans held. Often when we make such plans John has a long night at work and we set our plans aside. Last night, was not such a night; a rarity. So we left home this morning for John to get his hair cut, walked into the grocery next door to pick up the basic three: bread, milk, eggs and the free items from the past two weeks. I was pretty happy to find I'd saved 50% of the amount spent using coupons and the rewards card for the store. For this pay period we've spent under $75, most of that stocking up earlier this week on snack items for John at work and a variety of breakfast meats.
From there we visited the phone store and asked about my phone. I was pretty sure the glass was broken. Fortunately it was a screen saver that had been place on the phone. I'd broken it initially several months ago. However, I dropped it Monday in the store where I was struggling to load the television into my cart and really shattered it. We were certain that I was going to need a new phone, that it couldn't possibly be just the screen protector but thankfully it was. I was very pleased that I wouldn't need to pay bigger bucks for a phone or new screen. The young man who put on the new screen protector was not happy with his handiwork and cut the price by half. I was not complaining!
We stopped to get a sandwich and shared that on our way home. All in all a good day out, despite my tendency to tear up almost as often as the rain spattered the windshield. I try hard not to let my mood color the day...at least today that is true and I seem to have succeeded. John appears to be quite happy, if tired.
I thin I shall go tend to that last job I'd meant to tackle yesterday and then I shall call it a day. I am so thankful tonight starts Shabat. I do believe half my trouble today is that I am tired from the week's work, a small price to pay for a week when I know I have accomplished many things.
