Flag Waving Time

July 1, Wednesday:  If Memorial Day officially marks the start of the BBQ season for the warm months ahead, to me July marks the true beginning of the summer.  I do realize it starts in June.  Never mind.  We have milder temperatures in June as a rule, but July comes in with all the heat and humidity, gnats, flies, mosquitoes and pop-up rain showers or heat produced lightning and thunder that is characteristic of true summer here in the south.  Most of all, it is full on peach season. Farmers stands are filled with fresh produce that is truly fresh and locally grown.  

Suddenly I find myself thinking of sitting under the sprinkler on a hot afternoon, watching the droplets of water form rainbows and shivering delightfully as the cold-water hits hot skin.  Or spending an afternoon watching great fluffy cumulus clouds floating overhead. Cicadas lull me to sleep at night with their persistent rhythmic sound.  

Yes, I am waxing poetic over summer.  I know too well that I'll be weary as can be of heat and humidity and gnats within a month.  Come Mid-August, the peach season will end.  We'll have a quick 'cool' wave that isn't really cool but is less hot.  And then we'll heat right back up and whine out way through September and most of October before we get a bit of relief from it all.  But for just now, I'm embracing the fact that summer is here.  

I stopped at the peach shed today and chose a half dozen of three different varieties to bring home.  I don't know why I did that, because they are all in one bag and I don't know which variety is what.  Perhaps next week's peaches will be just one variety.  I ought to make notes about each variety as I eat them so that I can finally say assuredly that one or another is my favorite.  But today, they are all in one bag.  I was focused on something else peachy today, hence my lack of forethought.  And what was that other peachy item?  I treated myself to a child's portion of fresh peach ice cream.

Hot summer day and a cold swirly cup of ice cream...Can there be a better summer treat?  I don't think so!

I finished up June by working, naturally.  I started the great shed sorting out and made some headway.  The shed has been off limits for so long that I truly had forgotten I'd already made a hard, fast declutter months ago before Sam asked to store the mattress in it.  So there's not as much to do in that space as I kept thinking there might be.  Mind you, it's enough to keep me busy and will likely net me a couple of more trips to the donation center, but it's not bad.  

I also spent time puttering in my kitchen.  I experimented making Cheddar Jalapeno Bagels, made a batch of caramel corn using the last of my movie theatre popcorn, and stocked the freezer with biscuits.  But not all my time was spent in the shed and kitchen.  The house got a proper cleaning, too.  

Today, for the first day of this new month, I sat down and went over my finances.  I did this right after John died and held my breath until I had income once more, being very cautious.  And once income did begin again, I tried to catch up on the medical bills, expenses and such that were above the usual household expenses.  To be honest, I wasn't really sure where I'd come to rest at the end of the second fiscal quarter of the year.  I sort of glanced at the bank balances and made decisions based on a half guess as to where paying another thing off would land me.

I thought it time to look at it properly and see where I am.  Remembering that I had practically no income in April, a funeral, a credit card to pay off, car repairs, medical bills, had socked money into savings, etc., as well as the usual living expenses, I find that I have landed right where I started when I first assessed where I was.  How this can be so puzzles me, but I've gone over the figures three times and it's the same each time.  I've broken even.  And I think that is a rather grand thing.

As a reward to myself for being so mindful of the financial side of things, I've decided I can splurge just a bit and am buying a rug and a pair of curtains for the study.  I'd been saving bits of my allowance since December to make my workspace as I dreamed it (sort of) and I had those funds still.  So I used them to pay for those items.

I've worked up my budget for the third (!) quarter of the year.  That just blows my mind, that we're now in the third quarter. But it's truth that we are.  

Because it is a new month, I went grocery shopping.  I think, aside from more peaches, lettuce and milk, I am pretty much set for food for the month of July.  

I'd contemplated going to the annual fireworks at the church tonight, but truly I couldn't bear the thought of sitting in the heat waiting for the fireworks...and then there was the thought of the HUGE crowds who show up and the traffic and driving home in the dark.  It was easy to say, "No" in light of all the negatives.  In the end, I find I'm quite all right being 'at home' this evening, watching the sunset and enjoying the gentle night-ing sounds of the birds.

July 5, Sunday:  What a busy set of days followed Wednesday.  Thursday, mindful of the fact that I'd be gone most of the day on Friday, I did my weekly house blessing.  I always enjoy these basic household things.  It didn't hurt a bit to have boiling hot, beautifully sunny weather, so clothes all hung outdoors and dried in about the same time as using the dryer.  

Mindful again that I was going out the next day, I made an entree that I felt would do nicely for the weekend meals and using a new to me recipe made up a faulty batch of pizza dough.  Never again!  I had to clear my bread machine and literally start it all again which rather peeved me.  I thought I was the one who had messed up but on looking at the amount of ingredients in the pan, I realized it was not me but the fault of the recipe author.  

On Friday, I got up and readied myself to spend a morning out with Katie.  John has given me lovely jewelry over the year, but I wanted especially to wear a pair of lovely little diamond studs that he gave me in the beginning days of our relationship.  However, I never felt they showed to their best advantage on my ear, even with short hair.  A second piercing that would be well placed behind my first seemed to me to be the answer.  

So, Katie and I went off to have our piercings done.  She wanted to get her daith pierced to help ward off migraines.  It didn't hurt.  It was nothing like it was when I got my first piercing done.  At that time, someone stood on either side of me and used what appeared to be a sort of nail gun to shoot a gold stud through my earlobe.  The noise the thing was loud and yes, it did hurt a good bit.  Well, no more of that.  Now it's just a squared off U shaped bit of plastic and what you hear is a bit of a loud click and feel a bit of pressure.  It's the click that startles you, not the stud going through the ear.  

We had a lovely lunch out and took plenty of leftover food home for Cody to enjoy.  It's always good value when you can get three or four servings from a couple of meals.  It was quite warm and I was glad to head home.  

But I didn't come alone.  I brought Caleb and Taylor home with me to stay the night.  They were both excited to come and play in the sprinkler.  Mind you, they have a pool at home, but it was the idea of a sprinkler that thrilled them.

Don't they look as though they were having a lot of fun?  I think what they enjoyed nearly as much was that I pulled my chair out into the yard and squealed each time the cold water hit me, lol.  They had a grand time.  Then we came indoors to eat a scratched together sort of supper.  

The big hit at supper time was that we had fresh peaches.  Taylor has never before eaten a fresh peach, and not because she's never been offered one.  She's always refused but she decided to give it a try.  I've noticed since she started sports, she seems to eat more and more foods she used to shun. She was over the moon about peaches and even tricked Caleb into giving his to her, lol.  So, she ate about 3 peaches altogether.  

After supper, she and I worked on scrapbooks and Caleb played checkers with me (at the same time).  He'd never played checkers before but my distraction explaining diagonal moves and making sure he didn't jump like a frog all over the black squares led to him capturing all but two of my men and him being crowned with five kings who terrorized me and finally trapped me on the board so I had to concede.  I'll never tell you I am an expert strategist...but I refuse to believe a first timer could beat me that soundly! lol

Taylor and I had a lovely time after Caleb went to bed and was asleep doing more scrapbooking together.  She started a summer journal...And then left it here.  I shall have to see if I can't get it to her so she might carry on with it for the next few months.  

I set ground rules with Caleb this time.  No getting out of bed, except to go to the bathroom until I was up.  No getting into the cars and pushing buttons and twisting knobs. No getting up and helping himself to whatever he pleased from the drink and cereal cupboard or fridge.

I have to say, he didn't disappoint me at all.  But I guess my nerves were jangling because I kept dreaming he was up roaming the house, lol.  However, I discovered when I got up that Taylor had moved into his room and slept with him in the big bed.  She said she got too hot in the study.  That's possible, but the truth is, Taylor has only ever spent one other night here with me and then she called her mom to come calm her down...And that's exactly why I decided to have Caleb here with her this time around!

I was surprised the children rushed me to take them home.  I knew Katie had plans for the morning and they had planned a family gathering for lunchtime, a proper July 4th barbecue, so we had a leisurely morning to be at Gramma's house.  But never mind the children insisted we needed to load up and head to their house.  When we arrived, we found Cody was sound asleep!   I 'commanded the forces' and we got dinner items started (potato salad, meals for Bella and Henry, Not the Mama making coffee for Cody).  I'm sure those two guys were just thrilled to have a bossy female come in and rush them into busyness.   Soon the grill was going, and squash was cooking, and eggs and potatoes boiling and all the things were going.  Katie's appointment ran longer than she'd expected but she got home just as our barbecue meal was fully ready.  

We all ate far too much.  Especially those of us who had plans for the evening hours (myself, Not the Mama and the best friends who'd joined us).  We all left about the same time, commenting on how very hot it was outdoors.  My car said 112 inside and that was with the windows open!  Cody's dad jokingly stated that at least his coffee had stayed hot in the car.  I believed it.  It 'cooled off' to 100 on the way home.  

My second invitation for the evening was to Sam's for burgers, which he grilled on my grill.  Those were super tasty but truly too much food for me and I paid the price the rest of the evening being uncomfortable.  And to think I used to overeat every single meal instead of just once in a long while!  And I did cut portions greatly today, mindful of the quantity of food I'd face.  Too much and so good.  When I left Sam's he and the children were headed into the pool where they were hoping they might see glimmerings of the neighbors' fireworks.  

All that food kept me awake last night.  It wasn't too many carbs, just too much.  I slept finally propped up on three pillows but that made for a fitful night.  So, I slapped the alarm off and rolled over and went right back to sleep this morning.  That meant I missed the window of time to head to church.  I decided after all, I'd take time to clean out the grills from last night's barbecue and then have coffee and breakfast while I watched today's service online.  

And from there, I've puttered about.  A few chores, then a sit down and binge watch a program, then I'd do a few more things and sit down to binge watch a few more episodes.  I would have happily taken a nap about 4pm...but my personal set of rules says that 4pm is far too late to take a nap.  Sometimes I hate the rule making me.  I think I'd have felt better for a ten-minute nap.  

Plans for the week ahead, include a special group meeting I've been invited to attend, getting the study set as much as I might with the new things as they arrive, house blessing on Monday and Thursday again this week, since Friday is booked in.  And somewhere in there I plan to take the trio of kiddos out and then have them here to spend the night.  Busy week ahead!  And that's how most all of July is looking at present.

July 8, Wednesday:  Well this week is not going to plan!  And I finally surrendered my plans and let go of my idea of how things would be and here we are.

Sunday, I took a long nap mid-afternoon and woke a bit shivery.  I put on a sweater, pulled a light throw over my lap and felt a bit amazed that as hot as it was meant to be July had suddenly turned so cool.  Nope.  

I went to bed and spent another miserable night tossing and turning, only to finally fall deeply asleep in the very early morning hours.  I woke sick.  And from there the day was spent moving from bed to chair to chair and back to bed.  Wherever I lit, I slept for a bit before getting up to move again.   I didn't eat.  I barely could hold water down.  Thankfully I had some older medication on hand to fight off symptoms.  I slept for about 40 hours in the 48-hours that followed.  

I thought I'd bounce right back.  You know the way I used to do 20 or 30 years ago.  Ha and ha.  Nope.  But I hoped I would as I'd promised the children across the field that we'd do something this week, including a spend the night here at my house.

This morning, I realized that my plans for this week were completely shot.  I think it was when I went out to the car, planning to drive into town and I had to rest before I could drive off...No, the old bounce back is not there anymore.  I was more like a ball with about half the air.  I wouldn't have gone to town at all, but I had to pay my electric bill.  They have this rather nasty tendency to charge me extra if I'm late and today was the final due date.  I had some rather gross smelling trash that needed to go to the dumpster. I was desperate for a banana, a lemon and a Sprite Zero, in that order and going into town was the only way to manage any of those things.  So off I went.  

And that is when I made up my mind firmly that I absolutely was in no fit shape to take on three children, even ones as good as those three generally are.  Especially if I thought I'd take them to do 'something' which had been the plan.  

It might have been obvious to anyone that I would be in no shape to do anything with them, but I am stubborn and refuse to break my word if I can avoid it.  But that little trip into town wiped me out.  All I wanted to do when I returned was to melt into a chair and do nothing more.   What I did was water the plants indoors and the ones on the back porch, made the last of the pink lemonade powder up and then I collapsed into the chair as I'd planned.  I ate a banana and drank my Sprite.  

Sam came in, dusty from head to toe after mowing our lawns.  We talked for a bit and I told him of an incident that had upset me which I could tell bothered him since it involved his household...The truth is that the situation in his household had not bothered me that much at all.  What bothered me was my own determination that I simply had to be responsible and keep my word to the children when in fact, I didn't feel at all like keeping the children. I was focusing anger on another who often shirks responsibilities because I thought I was doing the same.  

I told Sam I was going to call and speak to the children and cancel plans for this week...And you know what?  Sam was fine with it.  The children were fine with it.  Remarkably, once I'd allowed myself that courtesy, I felt fine with it, too.  In fact, with the pressure off, I found a felt better overall.  I had given myself permission to take time to heal, which I desperately need.

I have to say again how blessed I am with my children, most especially Katie and Sam. They don't hover.  But they do check in routinely and especially when I say I've been sick, it's nice to have them look in, text or call.    

Sam had given me a lovely bag of vegetables from his garden the other day and I'd taken a load of squash and zucchini and cucumbers to Katie, plus kept an eggplant, squash, and zucchini for myself.  Today was the first day I'd cooked a meal since last week and I had determined that absolutely nothing sounded half so good as Ratatouille.  The only thing I lacked was basil.  Sam has an entire raised 6 foot bed of basil, so I texted and asked if one of the children might bring me 'a handful' of basil.  Of course, he'd send Josh right over.

I made a glass of lemonade for Josh, which seemed fair since he walked over in the heat to bring me the basil.  Y'all...lol  

Josh came in with what appeared to be empty hands and then held out his palm with tiny little basil leaves in it the middle of his hand.  "Dad said you'd need about 8 leaves."  Mind you all that most of the leaves on Sam's plants are palm sized.  Josh must have picked the newest most tender of leaves and he'd picked only eight.  I didn't say a word to fuss just thanked him nicely and urged him to drink his glass of lemonade before making the hot walk back home.  I supplemented with the basil I'd dried.   

And it was so good.  Just truly lovely with all that sweet, garden fresh vegetables and tomatoes in it.  I have a dish full of it leftover and texted Sam later that I really wanted to have it over a big baked potato.  I expect what I shall do is cook a bit of rice and roast a chicken thigh or two to have with the rest.                                                                                                                                                                            

July 9, Thursday:  It is well I felt better today.  Not quite up to 100% but goodness I felt to be a good deal stronger and closer than I did yesterday.  But the morning nearly broke me.

Do you know how you can tolerate a fussy sort of morning with equilibrium most of the time but when you feel not quite yourself it all feels a bit too challenging?  Meet my morning.

It's been incredibly hot and dry.  Yesterday I managed to struggle through watering the four plants on the back porch and those indoors.  This morning I was determined that if I did nothing else, I should get the patio and front porch pots watered.  Hence, I headed right out this morning to feed and water.  I only fed the front porch plants.  I just wasn't up to feeding and watering both on the patio.  However, I thought, I could hook up the sprinkler and leave it running long enough to get the pots on the patio watered.

Well...The only blamed thing the sprinkler 'watered' this morning was me!  I mean it went off and soaked me to the skin from head to toe, right away.  I wiped away what I could of the water droplets on my face and glasses, I decided it was best to just use the hose to do the watering.  

I did that and immediately Rufus came along and let me understand that this morning, he was waiting on his breakfast and would appreciate my coming right away.  I said, "Give me a moment to get a towel and I'll meet you on the back porch."  That dog understands too well what I say.  I went right to the bathroom for the towel and right to the back door.  When I opened it, there stood Rufus looking in the door at me.   

I fed him and came indoors, prepared to start my day's work.   I was in the midst of getting it started when my phone rang.  I texted back that I was going to make coffee and I'd call right back.  The coffee pot decided that this morning was its 8th year of brewing and that was quite enough thank you.  So I dug to the back of the cupboard and hauled out the electric percolator which proved tricky, then drippy.  And it took forever to brew.  I started a few other tasks, made breakfast and finally just unplugged the coffee pot in frustration and drank the brew which proved to be terrifically fortifying and strong.  It seemed a good time to stop the morning and chat with my friend and then begin afresh later which I did.

Eventually I worked my way through the house while talking away with my friend the whole while.  She was on the other end of the call doing the same courtesy of a new house puppy who was keeping her on her toes removing chewable items from lower levels. However, two houses got tidied during that call so no harm done on either side.  

I was done by the time I stopped to prepare my lunch.  I'd accomplished quite a bit, which made me happy, and rested enough between tasks to not feel all done in.  I found myself enjoying a rather nice nap.  

This evening we had a terrific thunderstorm with rain so heavy I couldn't see through it to any part of the yard at all.  I shall not have to water anything at all tomorrow morning.  Yet despite the rain, we have a lovely sunset for the evening.    

Tomorrow I've a handful of necessary chores to attend to, then a luncheon to which I was invited for the church widows.  I am reserving my opinion, but I'm being polite to a woman I met when we first went to our church who was unfailingly friendly and I shall do right by her since she's always been very nice indeed.    I have a short list of necessary errands related to two impending birthdays and two more at the end of the month and the missionary mail.  And then I plan to come home and enjoy my tidy home and the weekend ahead.    If I'm feeling better (and I do seem to be on the rise) I hope to go into town on Saturday for the monthly Market Day.  I've always meant to go but never knew when it was since it never falls on the same day nor at the same time.  I've found the Chamber of Commerce has a lovely county page that keeps me informed of local events and I'm going to try to take advantage of that.

I've a new book by my chair which seems a lovely way to pass time this weekend as well.  Here's hoping it's a good one.  I'm afraid of the last 3 I've purchased, which includes this one, one is a sad no and one is not at all what I expected.  Perhaps book 3 is the charm?

I hope you all have a lovely weekend.  And that we have a lovely week next week.                                       

Summer Sunshine and Cookies

 

Monday, June 22:  A few weeks ago, I asked Sam and Katie both what they'd like for their birthday gifts.  Katie's wishes were practical.  "I really need bras..."  Well, I bought her bras, but I asked again later if she'd like something more.  For her second wish, she sent me a photo of a set of crochet hooks.  "I've wanted this forever, but I can't bring myself to buy them for myself."  I know too well how it is to have something stuck on a wish list that somehow you can't bring yourself to purchase, even though you might have the money and know you will put it to good use.  

When I asked Sam the same question he scowled.  He thought long and hard before finally replying.  "What I'd really like to do is go out to eat with my family: you, the kids and Bess, and someone else pay for the meal.   If I could do that, I'd go to..." and he named off a BBQ place that is still fairly new.  I nodded.  "Consider it done."  

Well, we couldn't do on his birthday last week because family came in from out of town the same day.  And we couldn't do it on Father's Day as he'd requested, because the same family lingered and didn't leave until later in the day.  But after talking it over, we'd agreed that we'd go out for lunch today.

He and the kids came to pick me up and we headed to the restaurant where we were meeting Bess.  "I'll pay for the kids and Bess, Mama...it's too much."  "No thank you," I told him, "I have it all covered."  But we're six people...it might get pretty expensive."  "It might.  But I have a fund Sam and there's enough to cover us in it.  Please let me do this for you."  He reluctantly agreed but added, "but if it's over $$ I'm chipping in!"  "Nope.  I've got it."  

And there we are.  Adult children.  Unable to spend on themselves, reluctant to have another give them a nice gift they'd go without.  We are a long way from the days when they were young enough to believe that Mom and Dad had a money tree or three in the backyard.

We had an excellent lunch, which fell easily into the budget I'd allotted for it.  The food was really good and while we ran into tiny glitches in getting our order correctly, it was not trouble enough to mar the experience.  

On the way home, I'm afraid I talked Sam's ears off.  I told him all about my next phase plans of beginning to get out and travel about the state.  I purposely didn't mention my trepidation about using the Toyota but leave it to Sam to hear what I'm not saying.  "Use the Toyota, Mama.  I've got you on AAA and the car is a good sound car.  Yes, it needed work, but it truly should be good for several hundreds of miles yet."  I nodded.  I needed to hear that.  

And then we began to talk of travelling again and he really surprised me.

You see, we used to sit and plan where we'd go one day.  And Sam always said, "We", meaning he and I, would go to these places and experience different things.  But back then he was in high school and hadn't traveled any at all.  Now he's a seasoned traveler, though he's had little opportunity in the past few years.  So, when he began to talk of "we" once again today, I turned to him astonished. 

"You mean you still think about traveling together?"  "Of course, I do Mama!"  Well blow me down, lol.  I'd assumed, as he'd grown older and traveled so much on his own, that those long-ago days of traveling with his mama were over and done.  And I was quite all right with that.  I've always expected my children to grow up and move on in their lives.

Do you know, I'm rather liking having grown-up children.

Tuesday, June 23:  I worked myself like a mule today!  I did little on Sunday afternoon when JD left and only slightly more on Monday, before we all went out to lunch.  I made up my mind last night that regardless of the need to run errands galore today, I'd get my house in order first.  

But first, I started my morning on the front porch.  It was surprisingly cool and so quiet except for the birds and Rufus' panting his way up the steps to join me.  Do you know, I think this is one of the most sacred parts of my day.  I don't look at a screen or read a book.  I sit and listen to the birds and absorb the deep peace of the land about me.  Sunshine, the rustle of leaves, the calling of birds has its own rhythm of sound that just calms and strengthens and makes one grateful that God created earth.

After coffee, I tackled the work and it was far more work than I'd even thought it might be.  Every room in the house had to be touched and cleaned and tidied up in some manner.  And I had packages to get ready to go out and donations to load into the car and trash (way too much trash!) to load up as well.  It was so late when I got finished that I stopped to eat a late lunch before I started trekking everything out to the car.  And then my car was packed.  Trunk, back set and front passenger seats were full!  By that point it was half past 2 and I truly contemplated just waiting until tomorrow. 

But I knew I had to go.  I very much needed cat food, having borrowed from Sam late last week and used it all up this morning.  Off I went, tired and weary, but telling myself it was going to be worthwhile when I returned to my tidy home.

I got everything done and then I went into TJMaxx to look around.  I had a short list of things I was looking for, and I found 3 of those items.  I kept my unplanned purchases to less than $10.  Then I headed homeward, picking up take out on the way because by then it was 5:30 and I was starving and had nothing thawed at home.  I kept supper under $10, too...Just to remind myself that this was 'extra' and I paid for it out of my allowance.

When I came home, I found Sheldon wandering the front yard, going in circles, trying to find his way home again.  I tried to lure him into the car, but he'd just wander away.  I considered walking him home but my back and legs were tired and painful after spending so much time walking and lifting and such all day long.  So, I texted Josh to come see if he could get him home.  

Sheldon was in no mood to follow Josh, so I told him to just leave him and that if his dad found he wasn't home by bedtime he'd know where to come find him.

Then I got into my pajamas and called this day well done.

Wednesday, June 24: It's been cooler these past two mornings and the days, while hitting high 80's are very mild.  Far more springlike than summery sort of weather.  No complaints from me, however.  We've had sunshine and that right there is remarkable.  No rainy weather (though sprinkles here and there) hanging about all gloomy and gray.  

It's Katie's birthday.  I got up and texted her right away this morning.  I hope her card arrives today as planned.  I'm going over on Saturday, taking her favorite Key Lime Pie.  She wanted to wait until Saturday to celebrate with her children.

I had such a rotten night last night that I didn't rise until nearly 9:30. My legs cramped so badly that I'd ended taking medicine, drinking electrolyte drink, using magnesium lotion and turning on the heat pad to try to relieve them.  Ugh.

I had no ambition this morning at all.  But I did get all the laundry into the wash.  That was my last remaining task from company weekend that had to be done.  

I've truly taken it pretty easy today.  I did my morning writing, made lunch, prepared a new to me cookie recipe (YUM!), took an unexpected nap, had coffee and cookie for afternoon break, and spent the rest of the afternoon writing.  Now I'm ready to wind up this day and make my supper.  

I'll say this about the cookie recipe.  It does taste good, but it's got extra steps included (browning butter, grinding half the oats, chilling the dough on trays).  I think it's too sweet.  The honey is necessary though, as you can taste it in the finished cookie.  I'll be tempted to cut back on sugar next time.  And I'm not so sure you couldn't cut out a half stick of butter, too.  The instructions say it makes 2 dozen cookies.  I got nearer 40 and I made them every bit as large as they said to make them.  I put 30 cookies in the freezer and will bake them later.

Thursday, June 25:  Well, it was bound to come to this.... I sat unhappily glaring at my thin, straight, super fine hair that I've been trying to grow out since last January and I decided after six months it wasn't worth it.  I've been absolutely miserable every time I've even attempted anything, from having it gently shaped to styling it.  I tried a curling iron, root lifter, hair gel, blow drying...

And this morning it was too much.  I had to run the errands I didn't finish on Tuesday afternoon (now all done!) and I planned my route to take me by the gyp and clip salon and just have it all cut once again.  

I'll say this, I was happier with what I got for $24 than I was with what I got for $70...  Obviously, the nicer salon I chose previously is not going to be a winner in my book.   And yes, I knew the odds I wouldn't get a great haircut at the gyp and clip were not high either, but I hadn't enough in my haircut fund to go for a pricier place and I just had to get a haircut.    

I showed the picture, which clearly showed how the layers were cut, I pointed out how the layers were in the photo and repeated three times, "I want my hair to look like this."   I got something different.  But it IS better than what I've had and I'm not going to complain. I can at least tolerate looking in the mirror at myself, now.  I've said it before and I'll say it again only louder.  I CANNOT do sad and have bad hair.  I just can't.  

Never mind that my hair looks nothing like the photo.  Eventually I will find a proper salon to work with where they'll listen and just maybe explain why something won't work for my hair rather than nod and tell me they will do as I say and then do nothing like it.

Sunday, June 28:  It's been a long past few days and I am a tired woman.  I'm ready to finish up this post.  

Friday, I went out with my friend Susan to a huge antiques mall in Macon, Paynes Mill Antiques.  It's on the backside of Forgotten-ville.  They had a load of fans running, small ones, large ones, etc., but it was humid and gracious the prices on the items were rather dear.  Good quality things mind you.  I quickly caught a pattern of finding that if I liked something a lot it was (a) more than I'd want to pay or (b) unmarked with neither booth number nor price tag which essentially meant I couldn't purchase it.  We saw some spectacular things like an extremely large Murano glass chandelier and massive pieces of furniture that couldn't fit in anyone's house that I know personally and a massive wrought iron chandelier that we couldn't fathom what sort of building it came from.

I found a Currier and Ives print that I thought would go nicely with the others in my kitchen.  It was reasonable enough.  Eventually I'll likely have it re-matted and possibly get a newer looking frame but it is suitable for now and the picture is nice.

Susan was shopping for a birthday present for her daughter and when I was done, I sat in the car and told her to look to her heart's content.   It was nice outdoors.  Warm, yes, but there was a nice breeze with a chill undertone that kept it fairly pleasant. She wanted a summer weight, cotton seersucker wrap around robe that tied.  Her daughter is a modest young woman and wanted a longer robe.  Well good luck younger women if you're not willing to put on something skimpy in length and in wrap width, too.  And most of that is polyester. 

Susan had settled on what my grandmother wore in the mornings as she did housework, something she referred to as a 'duster'.   These looked just as vintage as grandmother's did in the 1960's and they were soooo expensive.  I just couldn't imagine even a modest young woman wanting one of those things.  I'm in my late 60's and I shrank from the idea of wearing one.  I think Susan did too because we eventually ended up at Hobby Lobby where she purchased fabric.  And now we know why the things she'd looked at were so very expensive, though I shall say that making it as a proper robe will make it nicer in my opinion and the seersucker fabric was quite pretty as well.  And she'd likely have enough left to make a dress for her granddaughter as well...So there you are.  Two for less than the price of one.

I got home around 6:30 and I had put a great many miles on my car.  I drove the Toyota which behaved admirably throughout our whole journey.

Saturday, just as I was getting ready to go out, Sam came over with Millie and Josh.  Millie just wanted to play.  Josh was helping his dad who put up the railing on my back steps.  He used the old fencing posts I already had on hand.  

I took the Toyota over when I went to see Katie.  I was happy when I filled the tank to find I'd gotten 41mpg which tells me that the car is running more than fine.  I had lunch and Key Lime Pie with the family.  Spent time with Henry, Caleb and Taylor, talked with Katie...and headed home about 5pm.  Another late day out for me.

Today, I went to church.  I wore the dress I'd bought from Amazon that is 100% cotton and got so many compliments.  I like the dress so much, I'm thinking I'll order it in green and white stripe, too.  I felt very comfortable and it never hurts if others will literally stop you to tell you how nice you look, does it?

An older woman I've been acquainted with for years now asked me where John was...Ouch.  I took time to talk to her, and she's the hostess for a monthly luncheon for the widows of the church, asked me to come, got my number so she may call to remind me, etc.

After I left church, I tried to call Mama...The phone wouldn't even ring through.  My brother had already called me on Thursday to see if I'd heard from Mama and I hadn't, but his daughter said she was fine on Tuesday.   Still no reply from Mama on Friday and none to my morning text on Sunday either.  I was sure that my brother hadn't bothered to go check on her (and I was right).  So I drove to Perry from church and went to check on her.  

Naturally she was just fine.  I asked if I could please see what was going on with her phone and she actually let me have it.  She'd put it on Do Not Disturb, who knows when.  I managed to get all the old messages, voicemails and such cleared out (two years' worth!).   Then I set it up in such a way that if she ever puts it on Do Not Disturb again, calls and messages from my niece, brother and myself will ring through anyway.    

I stayed and visited with her for a bit and got home about 4:30.  Mama called me when I was on the way home to see if her phone was actually working...Indeed it was.  

And that ends the week and weekend.  Just a few more days until July.  I will begin to set plans for July tomorrow...  Finding time to do my first bit of travel is proving to be a bit of a challenge with all the days that are already filled in.  Birthdays, an anniversary, holiday things, appointments abound.  Not as many birthdays thankfully as June but enough to make me aware that I must be on my toes and keep track of days.

Finish Line

Monday, June 15:  I'm done.  I've done all I can possibly do to finish off the legal work, paperwork, transfers, etc. related to John's death.  I am awaiting one piece of paper that is going to come to me in about a week, one bit of legal proceeding that is entirely out of my hands before I have that piece of paper.  All I had to do is done.  

I am so relieved!

Every week, since the week after John's death, I have been making appointments, filing paperwork, gathering paperwork, going through all the proceedings.  Often, I'd spend one day on legwork (actually out of the house chasing things down) and one long morning on the phone.  That was two days out of every week for the past twelve weeks.

Now on to the rest of the things...like clearing, sorting, organizing, donating or giving away.  I've also spent an average of two days a week on that task.  For the first month or so, it was mostly focusing on John's things, but now it's as much about my own stuff I've accumulated. 

Last week I took a break from it.  It was just too much.   Today, riding high on the knowledge that I'd finished the last paperwork task, I cleaned out a whole section of the car trunk, and then came indoors to clear more stuff out of the music room/study.  

I have to empty John's dresser of the remaining things here this week because JD is coming up at the end of the week and I want him to take the dresser home with him since it is a piece his great grandfather hand made.  

I am by no means finished with 'stuff' but the paperwork side of things weighed terribly heavy on me.  I knew it was important to attend to it all in as timely a manner as I could.  Admittedly it was in my mind the mess my brother and I had to deal with in clearing up three estates (a loose term, not because anyone owned much of anything, but all the channels had to be clear to get things released to the two of us!)  at once with deaths that occurred over a period of four years and not one of the legatees did anything toward the estates they were meant to.  It was tedious and we had to begin at the start and work through each person in order of death date.  It took nearly two years to finish off.  So yes, I was especially keen to get it done!

Now, if anything should happen to me, it's clear for my kids to sort out.  My goal was that they wouldn't have the burden of trying to go through two estates at once.  My will is in place, signed and everything, which we didn't quite manage with John's since he died the day before we were to go sign it.  That will further decrease the things they must do as well.

I have promised myself a reward for the day when I finished this end of things off.  I'm now in the process of planning what my reward shall be.

Thursday, June 18:  Well, I never meant to have such a short post this week but short it shall be.  On Monday afternoon, I took Isaac to see "Michael", as he's a huge fan of the music and choreography of Michael Jackson.  I'd carefully examined all the reviews to be sure it was clean enough for a child.  I will admit that the shock at the register was very real.  I'd no idea that a movie cost that much these days!  Worth every bit of it though.  Isaac didn't take his eyes off the screen not once in the nearly 3 hours the movie ran.

Tuesday, I was relieved to just be 'at home' and do homey sorts of things.  I filled the bookshelves in the study.  I have a whole shelf over that I will fill soon with a set of books I am sorting through.  All of John's precious music stuff is put away for now.  Eventually that too will be dealt with but for now it's protected from little fingers that want to turn and twist knobs and click switches.  The bulk of the study is cleared out save a stack of bins filled with John's toys and coffee mugs and such.  I thought the children might want to go through those, but I don't know just yet.  

I've also packed up all of the stuff I had sitting on the chifforobe that I no longer wanted.  It's boxed for donation, as is the China set from my first marriage and a lot of other glassware I'd collected and then hidden behind buffet cabinet doors.  And the Christmas candles.  Then I packed up all the stuff I'd removed from the kitchen cabinets...Three boxes of things are ready to be loaded into my car and hauled away.  

I've been saving any sizeable cardboard boxes to pack things from the shed into.  Yes, I am determined to clean out that area as well.  

I've also started stacking furniture to one side that will definitely be leaving the house and have a good idea of what else will be leaving.  It's all a slow progress sort of thing, but I feel better for what I've set free from my grasp.  

I've made up my mind that one of my first little day trips will be to travel about the central southwest Georgia area collecting mural passports.  That's hardly even a day trip, truly, but I thought it would be a great training ground for beginning to get out and about on my own.  And yes, I shall likely be traveling in my own vehicles for these excursions.  I can't just toss in the towel and stay home.  After all, neither car has let me down because of lack of care on my part.  Just once last week due to a hasty mechanic trying to finish prior to closing.  

 Yesterday, I had to have labs drawn to determine if indeed I needed thyroid medication. My levels were well within normal range, and it appears that it was completely unnecessary to be on any medication at all. I'll see what the doctor has to say.  He does tend to follow up on labs with patients individually.  However, I came near not having lab work done yesterday.  Apparently, I'd had an appointment time, though I was under the impression I could walk in just any time to get the blood draw done.  

So, when I got up yesterday, I went outdoors to empty compost and then began weeding and pruning the overgrown border along the back porch.  It was awfully heavy and hot work, due in part to the thick humidity.  It took a bit of recovery before I could even think to get showered and ready to go anywhere.  Imagine my surprise to arrive and discover I was three hours late...

Well never mind, they offered to fit me in after lunch.  I wasn't about to go back home, so I drove over to Zenith Mill to get peaches at the peach shed.  A very sweet man offered me his military discount, when I was asked if I was a veteran.  I replied, "A veteran's widow..." and the man said, "Give her a discount.  Yes, indeed she qualifies!" I thought it quite nice of him.  

I came out of the door just in time for the rain to start pouring. I was soaked to the skin before I could walk the 250 feet to the car.   I looked a lot like a drowned puppy, and I was mighty unhappy.

You see, I'm struggling with my hair.  I've been trying for months now to let it grow out with varying degrees of tolerance on my part.  I've had a few trims just to keep it halfway in shape, but I've not gone back to full on Pixie yet.  I'm afraid that I won't last out the time until my next appointment which is 4 weeks away.  And then to get drenched made me triply unhappy with myself overall, hair being the top of the list.  

I stopped at the local grocery to get bread, milk, eggs and found a nice rump roast marked down to the price of hamburger, which as we know is not cheap but roast generally is far above hamburger prices.  

I made it back to have the blood drawn.  No easy task there.  The first stick was a miss and painful as everything.  That made all my nerve endings super sensitive to the second stick (successful!), but I whimpered like a child at both.  Embarrassed myself terribly.

After that I sort of limped (literally, since my legs and hip ached from the morning's yard work) back home.  

Today I've been out in the yard trimming more and cleaning up the messes I left behind yesterday.  I've pampered myself thoroughly with a spa morning shower afterwards.  Then I drove up to Sam's to deliver birthday cookies and card.  And to borrow cat food which I forgot yesterday when I was out and about.

I've got the house pretty much squared away.  My eldest son and his family should be here any time now.  He jokingly told me "Sorry I seem to be bringing the rain along..."  "Nope," I replied, "It got here long before you."  It's his plan to stay all weekend long

Sunday, June 21:  Technically I ought to start the next week's bit but since I've yet to edit this or find a picture that suits it, or titled it, I thought I'd just run through the last 3 days.

JD and the children (hardly children being 17 and 14) arrived Thursday afternoon.  It was raining, so I'd popped a chuck roast into the slow cooker and kept the sides simple.  They are not accustomed to gourmet foods, at least not from their dad.   

The kids weren't talkative, but they weren't hostile in their silence.  They are just quiet overall.   When I asked if they'd like to see "Michael" I had no intention of paying at the theatre.  I'd discovered it was available for rent on Prime for $20 and thought it would be worthwhile to help them pass time.  Well only Zach was interested, but I rented it and had a ton of accumulated points which brought the price down to something like $5.  You know I rolled my eyes over what I'd spent to take Isaac to the theatre compared to that but never mind.  He'd been over the moon after seeing the movie and it was worth the price.  As for Zach, he and I enjoyed the movie together, too.  Though we had to tolerate JD talking in over the top as he was prone to look up facts mentioned in the movie.

On Friday, Daniel went to visit a friend in Warner Robins for the day.  JD had determined he'd put in the light fixtures John and I bought three years ago.  So, he picked up supplies to do that, and heaven knows what all else he thought he might do.  He left a bag full of things here that I'm to return.  At any rate, he got started on putting in lights and we had only one small hiccup.  I'd wanted a pendant hanging over the kitchen sink, but it was larger than I'd thought and came far too close to the vinyl blinds.  The idea of hot light that close to them was unnerving.  We tried hanging the pendant higher, but it looked ridiculous.  So that is now a hall light, and I have an inexpensive LED type light above the sink which is inconspicuous enough I don't mind it.

They spent the afternoon and evening at Katie's.  I had the evening here to myself and went off to bed early.  I found it a little bit exhausting to have people in the house, no offense to the family.  

On Saturday, things went well enough.  JD hung the two lights in the master bath which elevated and finished off that room to a perfect 'T'.  Katie and Sam came in later and gasped at the amount of light in that room and how lovely it all looked.  

The grown-up children and Sam's children stayed for quite a while visiting with their siblings and cousins.  Katie had come by after taking Taylor to meet her dad and Caleb and Henry were home with Cody.  I missed them and Bella, but I seldom have all of my family at once.  It was rather nice to have the grown-up kids in the house, and we had many a laugh over things John had said or done over the years.  I think one of the loveliest things about John is that it's so easy to recall his humor and joy and to laugh as though he were still here entertaining us.

More rain came later in the day.  Rain, rain, rain.  The grass and trees are gloriously green.  The deer and rabbits are quite happy with their grazing grounds. 

This morning, Sam's dog Sheldon came over to visit with Rufus.  He's not been here in ages, as he's gotten increasingly deaf and blind.  He was wandering about in the front yard in the sunshine.  I texted Sam to let him know.  About a half hour later, I looked at and dear Sheldon was wandering around still.  I realized that he was lost.  I went out to the yard and got near enough he could smell me which made him come near and the two of us walked across the back yard and over the path to Sam's backyard.  Sam had decided to come look for Sheldon thinking he'd gotten lost and walked me back home and visited a few minutes with JD.

Today was packing up and going home day.  JD took the dresser his grandfather had built, and Zach acquired the desk chair that I was getting rid of.   The children amused me greatly because when they discovered I was going to take the things to donate they insisted JD should take them home since he apparently has no chairs.  When he refused, Zach put in his bid to have it for his desk.  

I confess, I was mighty nervous about the family being here, as our last visit had been such a disappointment.  I'm not counting in the day we spread John's ashes because I was so overwhelmed with everything from shock to grief to company that I don't really know how that time went along.  But the visit this time was fine.  However, I was glad to see everyone go home again.  That doesn't sound very hospitable of me, but there you are.  I like company. I like when company goes home.

This next week I've another family birthday, Katie's, but we won't celebrate until next Saturday.  Sam's belated birthday will be celebrated tomorrow.  I had company come in the day of his birthday.  He's asked to be taken out to eat.    

I need to get the last birthday card into the mail.  Take off a double load of trash.  Hope to fill a few more boxes for donation and to get the boxes delivered to the thrift store.  And somewhere in the week, there's a fun day out planned with a friend.    Another busy week of June ahead.  

Oil Spills and Grown-up Pants

 

Tuesday, July 9:  Let's go back to yesterday when I took Millie out for the day.  The boys have gone to camp, and we went together to do an errand, eat lunch, do a little shopping and come back here.  The day went too quickly, but I personally found my day out with her a delight.  

First she confessed to me her worry that her Papa Pat was dead.  I told her he was not dead. "But he's old..."  "Yes, and one day he will die, but he knows Jesus as his Savior...He'll be in heaven with Grampa and one day you will be there, too."  Perhaps only a Southern child finds this line of thought logical and reassuring.  I don't know, not ever having dealt with any but Southern children!  However, Millie chatted happily after that and made me laugh out loud with several funny observations.

Lady Bugs and Sunshine

 

Monday, June 1:  As a reminder, that indeed, June is still Spring, the weather today was very mild.  There was a little breeze that carried a surprising coolness.  I've no idea from whence it came, but there it was, and since I spent midday doing an onerous task (washing the siding on the front of the house) I am here to say that it wasn't unpleasant to be outdoors at noon on the first day of June at all.  And the front of the house looks rather nice, if I do say so.

The only sad thing was that the tree frogs hiding about got sprayed too. I was terribly sorry but not able to do a thing to help them.  They seemed to recover well, and I did rinse them off with a spray of plain water, best I could.  They all climbed back up the wall again, so there we are.  I shall have to continue swinging open the screen door and waiting for the frog to drop before I step out!

I saw just lots of true ladybugs and was so pleased about that.  I hadn't noticed any at all in years past but I found true ones on the porch about my plants.  Sam told me they are all in his lovely garden as well. 

Since Cody had recently uncovered and discovered a HUGE concrete pad in the backyard of their home, the family have set up a pool and plan to put up a pergola and patio furniture.  I struck while the iron was hot and asked Katie once more if she'd like the iron patio table.   She said, "Yes".  It has a hole for an umbrella, I threw in all four chairs and though two chairs and the table need scrubbing and a coat of paint, I think it will make a nice addition to their space.  And it frees up my narrow patio from the oversized table at last.  

It also means that I am now in the market for more chairs but oh well...I'll find some when it's the right time and price.  And in the meantime, I've still got a small cafe table and folding chairs, plus two chairs that were Grandmother's.

I also took time this morning to toss every seed that is viable to plant this time of year into pots of soil or a flower bed.  Fingers crossed and here's hoping.  So far, I have a hearty crop of marigolds and zinnias coming up from my last sowing session.  And I've prayed over them all.  I'm hopeful that this year, I shall at last have flowers blooming about the patio once more.

I'd made a list last night before I went to bed of things I meant to get done and I promised myself today that if all were done, or at least started in good measure, then I'd allow myself to have fun for the rest of the afternoon.  I made good on my promise, but I added several things to the list.  Like sowing the seeds, doing a load of laundry and baking bread.  Fair enough, I earned my reward and I sat down and happily played about with genealogy until time to prepare supper.  

I've had the hardest time with keeping these sorts of promises to myself.  I always add in more jobs and then go to bed disappointed and overtired because by the time I stop working I'm too tired to play, but today I'm trying to 'start as I mean to go on' for all of June.  Work by all means, but fun in equally good measure!  That's my plan.

I tried an experiment today.  I brewed tea using one peach tea bag and one black tea bag.  It turned out just as tasty as straight Peach tea.  Since the peach tea is a luxury sort of purchase, it's good to know I can extend it in this way, because the black tea is Aldi's Benton tea and it's inexpensive.

I added up last month's grocery spending and while it's not a true figure, it seemed a bit high to me.  It's not a true figure because I added in the takeout meal I'd purchased with the debit card, but not all the take-out meals I bought were purchased with the debit card nor were all the groceries.  I paid cash for some things, and in some instances, I was buying for a family or another person other than myself.  My skewed figure came out to about $83 a week average.  That figure seats me in the Moderate food plan.

My actual budget should come in considerably lower...But I've admittedly played loose with the grocery money this past month because I have so much stuff on hand.  In fact, one of the tasks I did this afternoon after lunch was to start inventorying my pantry.  I can't help but think that for one person this is an incredible amount of food...and most all of it will serve 2-3 or even 4 people.  I shall have to determine what a stockpile for just one should look like.  It did not seem an excessive amount for two but it's almost overwhelming to think of it all in terms of one.  

All in all, for a first day of the month, today went incredibly well.  Here's to all the rest of June going as smoothly.

Thursday, June 4th:  I thought I'd return to publishing once a week, so you all don't have such a long post to slog through.  I'm not promising that any week will be so terribly much to read on its own, but it will at least eliminate long readings on those weeks when I do feel more talkative than usual.

I have had quite a week with a few accomplishments but nowhere near what I'd hoped to have.  On Tuesday I spent the day more or less relaxing as I'd overdone it on Tuesday.  I did a few simple tasks but mostly I sat about looking at YouTube because I've lost momentum with the whole idea of Junk Journaling as a hobby.  I like my own journal (done a month-by-month basis) quite well, but it's more art journal than junky.  And I think the thing is I don't like the overall messy look of the junkier type of junk journals. I like something that is a bit neater and a bit more artistic and a bit more of a possible journaling forum.  

So, I was scrolling around looking to see how others approached the journals and discovered Glue books, which can be themed by color, subject, genre, etc.  Most repurpose a composition book.  I have about 20 composition books (the board type covered ones) that I'd made sermon notes in over the years, and I'd been wondering how to dispose of them.  Obvious answer is to use them as art journals and Glue books.

On Wednesday, I was determined to get out of the house, go to the grocery store, run errands and have fun.  Well reality was that my day turned out considerably less than fun.  On my way over to the main shopping area, the 'check engine' light came on.  I noted that every time I decelerated it went off but acceleration prompted it to flash on again.  Then the car started idling hard at the stoplight and sounded horrible on take-off.  I prayed my way the 8 miles over to the mechanics.  And there I was for the next six hours.   Repairs cost me $1600 which I put on a credit card because I had no desire to have low balance warnings from the bank on top of the day, I'd just had.  

I didn't have a book with me, only my phone, no ear buds, so I didn't feel I could watch vlogs on the phone without being a nuisance to others.  I sorted through the 3-year-old magazines and created a stack next to my chair that I flipped through.  I also didn't have a jacket and it was cool both indoors and outdoors due to a heavy chilly breeze, though the sun shone like a dream come true after weeks of cloudy skies.

At one point I walked across the street to McDonald's and got a quick lunch.  If Burger King left me in sticker shock a couple of weeks ago, McDonald's does have a decent pricing on their items, and the value menu is under $5 for a meal.  Since my former plan for the day had included going to mine and John's favorite restaurant and using our gift card there, I was inclined to keep lunch a low priced affair.  Later in the afternoon, when she was off work, Katie came to pick me up and we went to Kroger to get a few necessities.  Milk for her family and eggs for my household.  

Eventually the car was diagnosed properly, the repairs done and I went on my way.  Traffic was pretty bad by the time I got to that point in the day.  I did manage to make one return, and dropped off donations, but then I headed to the backroads and came home.  It was nearly 7pm by the time I finally got here.  Fortunately, I recalled that Wednesday night service at church was live on air, and I caught the sermon part of the service.  It was quite a good sermon and lifted me up.  I needed that!

Today, I woke fairly early.  A long-time pen pal has recently discovered she can make voicemails over Messenger, and I listened to her voicemail.  Then I was inspired to send one back to her.  It's rather nice to listen to a voice speaking instead of just reading an email.  It feels even more personal.  We can never get our hours straight to call through to one another (though she did manage somehow the day John died) so this is a lovely alternative.  I discovered today that the voicemail stops recording at 10 minutes.  But you can start another right up if you were in the middle of a thought.  I soon received a return voicemail from her.  I was just waking at the time I was talking to her and she was just going to bed and yawned as she talked, lol.

I puttered around the house, then went off to shower.  Since I'm doing intermittent fasting, I am taking the start of most days even more leisurely than I might in the past.  The mornings this week have been so cool, I haven't even gone outdoors to sit in the sun as I ought.  I've opted instead for sitting in a sunny window.  From what I've read it's not beneficial in the least but I'm not chilly.  I generally listen to a Bible study or short sermon, write morning pages, have lemon water and sometimes coffee if it's late enough to break my fast.  

Off to shower and immediately I heard one of the grandkids walk onto the back porch, then the sound of the lawnmower chugging over to the house, lol.  I knocked on the wall of the bathroom that is backside of the back porch wall and told Sam that I was in the shower and I'd be out shortly.  When I was decent, I went to the backdoor and looked out and was startled because I thought Bess had come over with Sam.  

No... It was Josh!  He's sporting long hair these days.  He's grown even more in the last two weeks and he's incredibly tall now next to Sam or so he seemed when I looked at him.  It took me a minute to recognize him.  

Josh did the weed eating and Sam did the mowing.  My yard is incredibly green and lovely, but it was beyond needing to be cut.  The Bahai grass has started coming up which means we shall have to be more vigilant about mowing because it is terrible stuff when it starts to get tall or it's the slightest bit damp.  It bends and then pops right back up again.  John used to mow both our yards twice over when the Bahai had come in.

Sam's back has been a bother for nearly two weeks and yesterday when I was having car woes, he was at the chiropractor getting adjusted.  He'd just completed a round of corticosteroids for the inflammation in his back.  I do hope that mowing for 7 hours today doesn't cause him any more issues!

I puttered in the kitchen this morning, sorting out jars from the pantry.  I've had a motley crew of storage jars that I've accumulated over the years and I've decided to empty them all, wash well and offer up to kids or donation.  I'll be using the mass of canning jars I've accumulated in the last few years and plan to buy more of them.  It just makes sense to have those as storage jars to me.  I like the look of them, too.

I made up three small Chicken Pot Pies and cooked the last of a jar of egg noodles that didn't fit in the quart jar.  I had some cooked venison burger that I chopped up and made Julia Pachecko's Hamburger Stroganoff.  I managed to knock the recipe down to a 2 serving size portion.  It's more like a hamburger helper sort of recipe than a proper Stroganoff but it's really tasty and I was quite happy with my portion for lunch today.  I should have diced and reheated some of the beet I'd roasted to go with it, but I didn't think of it at the time.

After lunch, I loaded up the dishwasher and then washed everything by hand that wouldn't fit in the dishwasher.  I tried to pack all I could in there but there's only so much space.  Now it's waiting to be emptied.

After that, I emptied three of the boxes of books that were behind the guest room door and put them on the shelves here in the study.  They filled just three shelves.  I have plenty of room to move 'extras' from the living room shelves and I think I'm going to set up one shelf as Genealogy stuff and empty the tub where I've hoarded those things.  I also have one shelf dedicated to John's music books and notebooks and papers.  I will eventually be sorting out those and culling out the multiples of things, but not right now.  Some tasks are still too personal and painful to handle just at present.  I take those things a little at a time and then I'll have to recover from the emotional wear of doing them.

The empty boxes the books were in will be packed with the China and glassware that I've hoarded and not used.  It's hard to admit that something I've held onto for so long is simply not going to be used, but it's not and so why am I keeping it all?  

While the decluttering spirit moves me, I need to let go of as much of the excess of stuff I have accumulated as I can.  I'll still have plenty of stuff.  I am a collector by nature, and by no means minimalistic, but I'm determined that in future I shall collect and store only what I'm actually using.  No more money spent on pretty things to sit behind closed doors unseen and unused.

The house is changing.  I don't find that unusual.  There's been a major change in life here and I've always responded to the outward changes of life by adjusting the interior of my home as well.  There's the fortune of having a wealth of inexpensively gotten things.  I can afford to let them go and find something else that suits this current phase of life.  Mostly decor items or thrift and yard sale purchased furnishings, not the stuff we paid proper good money for.  I do tend to hang on to those things and use them until they are past their lifespan. 

Now I am off to put my Chicken Pot Pie in the oven.  I'll try to put away the dishes, which takes far less long to do than it does for me to make up my mind to doing.  When supper is ready, I shall officially call my day "Finished".  There are a puzzle book and a coloring book waiting on me after supper, and I'll listen to music or TV while I play with those.  

Saturday, June 6:  Interesting thoughts to note today.  I was thinking about Grandmothers in general, different grandmothers and how they approach their grandchildren, etc.  

I can't say much about my great grandmothers, as my time around both was fairly limited.  Granny was very much prone to being a hands on sort of Grandmother.  She kept us when we were too young for school, she took us on holidays when we were in school and she periodically came to stay the night and spend time with us all throughout the school year.

Grandmother and Granddaddy tended to come see us about once a month.  Pretty much catching up with the whole family at once.  We spent a few summer days with them, but not necessarily every year even though they didn't live that far from us, perhaps an hour and a half?  Part of that had to do with an alcoholic and sometimes violent uncle.  

And I think part of it had to do with Grandmother's own lack of grandmothers.  Both her mother's mother and her father's mother died when her parents were young children and so they more or less were raised by other family members.  There were no grandparents about in her childhood.  She had no clue what a grandparent did.  

Yes, she did keep us when we were young and my uncle was not yet the threat he became in later years, but truly the only time we were allowed to go spend a week with them was when the uncle was locked safely away in jail for a few months' time and not likely to be about.

My mother, though she'd grown up with both her grandmothers and spent lots of time with them was not to be bothered with children.  Indeed, she always proclaimed to me that she wasn't going to spend her spare time doing my job for me.  Granny sometimes took my children for a few days at least giving them a taste of what I'd had growing up, but not often and seldom did she have them that Mama didn't call and fuss at me over the fact that they were with Granny, whom Mama was convinced I was taking advantage of.

I have friends who have grandchildren, some of whom live near enough and some who live far away.  And in varying degrees they choose to spend time with them, or not, as their personality dictates. I  don't criticize anyone.  

I know only what I had in Granny and those occasional visits with Grandmother and I loved the times I was with them.  Hence, I have often tried to say yes to my own children and grandchildren when they request time to come here.

But occasionally I do say 'No'.  

I said no earlier today when I had a request for a grandchild to come over.  Supposedly wanting to 'work' but from past experience I can tell you sincerely that she is very much into the attention seeking stage and if I don't pay attention is prone to get into trouble doing things she oughtn't.  Like gluing coloring pages to the wall or using the carpet as a work surface to put paste on things or leaving the dining table covered with paint or nail polish.  Not in a destructive way, nor done to be mean.  Simply the way any six-year-old does that sort of thing, with an intent to do the more grown-up things not allowed at home.

Today I was not up to it.  

I've had residual guilt all morning.  Never mind that one of my scheduled days next week is simply for her particular pleasure. 

Otherwise, I've a rather busy and taxing week ahead.  The final legalities to tie up, or at least so I hope and a day out with my friend Susan which should be fun, and a day with Millie, as promised, and then a day to have an 'adult' birthday party with Josh.  In fact, in the next seven days I've only one day planned to be at home.

Yesterday I went to run errands and get groceries, finishing up what I'd meant to do on Wednesday when I ended up sitting at the mechanics.   None of this was what I really wanted to do.  What I wanted to do above all else was go do something 'fun' for myself like visit a garden center and get some coleus or go to the hardware store for paint for the entry doors or wander about a clothing store or anything in the world but adult responsibilities.  But there you are.  

However, next week is already scheduled to the max. Yesterday had to be about the other necessities:  Post office, dollar store, paying bills, running by the bank, getting gas in the car, getting groceries, going up to Sam's to get produce for the week ahead, and two or three more things I can't recall just off the top of my head. 

It was hot.  It was tiring and exhausting.  My hip was aggravated from the previous day's work of lifting and shoving heavy things about in my home.  I left home around 11am and got home around 6pm with a car to unload, hungry as a bear, and a new worry. The 'check oil' light started flashing on and off as I was finally headed home.  More car trouble?  And me just having put $1600 into the car...  I'm a little worried.

Mind you I do have a second car and it's a perfectly decent car.  It just isn't 'my' car and isn't nearly as comfortable to drive as the Toyota.  It's a Honda Civic, equally as old as the Toyota, that sits much lower, and I can just see over the nose of the thing because it is so low.  And the speedometer is perfectly hidden by the steering wheel, which sits just about the level of my pupils.  However, it's far fewer miles on the odometer than the Toyota. So yes, a viable car but it just doesn't 'fit' me like the Toyota does.  Not to mention the AC is iffy and this time of year, AC is desirable, almost more than desirable.

I didn't even put away all the groceries last night once I got in the house.  I was just too done in.  I put away the cold things in fridge and freezer and this morning I've had to divide and sort and put away in proper places all of the things.

We won't even discuss prices.  I spent my entire budget, and I know that I shall have to return later in the month for milk and eggs at the least. I made countless choices and swaps in what I wanted and what I felt I might better spend instead. I'm very grateful I have the money to manage on, but ding dang darn I hate to feel I'm running right to the very edges of my income, you know?  

So, there you are.  My rest day today, protected, but lots of guilt worrying about others and others' feelings and on the other far too tired to do much about anyone's feelings including my own!

But the sun is shining and has since Wednesday so there is a positive spin to it all.  The lawn is freshly mown, gloriously lush and green looking.  I've done enough yardwork this week that the difference shows clearly.  The house is clean, too.  

I sat on the porch yesterday evening watching the sunset without being eaten alive by mosquitoes and this morning I was out watching sunrise and listening to the birds calling out as they began their day.  I've sheets flapping in the breeze on the line gathering up all the good fresh air and sunshine smells.  

My windowsill is full of lovely fresh herbs that Sam cut in his garden yesterday: basil, dill, oregano, parsley).  I did think to buy myself flowers yesterday while I was out and they are glowing about the house in the living room, kitchen, and on my desk.

I have good food to cook today for my meals...

And because I've been sensible today, I very possibly might get a nap to make up for the restless night I had.

So, I shall end the week with a list of the positives and no complaints.

June is going to be a good month...

P.S.  Sam came to check the oil which was only 3 quarts low...Sheesh.  We've not noticed any leaking anywhere, and think it might have been part of the problem with the car's issues on Wednesday, just something they didn't check.  

Sam urged me to take that car to church tomorrow since I'll be in an area where he, Bess, Katie, Cody and Not the Mama will all be close to hand to help if I get stranded.  I shall drive cautiously.  We discussed his putting me on his AAA service which would be a good thing, I think.  

May As Well

 

Wednesday, May 20:  I did it.  I finally took the plunge and went to a 'proper' salon and got a proper haircut.  Even though I had only a lot of pictures and vague ideas of what I wanted, I got a decent cut. I was flabbergasted at the cost, roughly 2.5 times what it costs at 'Gyp and Clip'.  But this experience includes the shampoo and styling...Making it an experience to enjoy.  I've contemplated over and over again whether it is genuinely worthwhile to spend such a sum getting hair washed and cut.

I've decided that yes, yes, it is.  Number one because they do include the extras, the things that makes one feel they are in a salon, the things which are all extra fees at 'Gyp and Clip' and would run their costs up nearer to what they charge in the proper salon.  Number two, I felt pampered and cared for.  Not rushed.  Number three, they suggested I not return for 8 weeks since I am still in the process of growing my hair out.  So, the extra cost is at least spread over 2 months and not a monthly charge as it is at the places I've gone to in the past.

May or May Not

 

Saturday, May 2:  I had a lovely day today, despite it being rainy and cool enough to warrant wearing a sweatshirt when we were out.  I was up early and ready to go out with Katie.  Then I sat down and folded the basket of clothing I'd left unfolded yesterday when I did sheets and towels.  I decided to put the linens in the trunk and that needed a good sorting out and neatening up so I did that.  Productive on a Saturday...What is the world coming to?

Sam and Katie both arrived at the same time.  Sam came to pick up the mower blades, reporting that the transmission on the mower had not leaked one drop of transmission fluid since he removed it from the mower and refilled it.  Then he left to go home.