The Week of June 23-29

 

Monday, June 23:  I don't even know where to start.  I had a rough start to my morning.  Not anyone else's fault. Nor mine, really.  I had one of those stupid, heart wrenching dreams just moments before waking.  I wanted to stay home today, something fierce after that, but it was truly the residual effect of the dream and nothing more.  

I have been making it a habit on my way over to listen to a sermon.  This morning, I got in something like one and a half and I reckon God must have known I'd need every word of both!

Caleb went to the corner at least once before lunch because he was just showing out, but hey, fairly normal behavior.  It was after lunch that things went to pot.  I was nearly in tears when Katie got off work and I don't mean that in a sissy way.  I mean it in the way of a woman who nearly lost faith in her ability to deal with a child.  I wondered seriously if I was doing a bit of good for anyone and most especially for ea certain little boy.

I get little time with Henry.  He's a very easy going, undemanding sort of baby.  And it's a good thing he is because Caleb needs lots of attention to keep up with his thinking.  I was feeling a bit guilty that Henry was getting so little hands-on time.  Not that he wants it especially, mind you.  He loves his big play pen because he's plenty of room to crawl about and lie down and roll around.  He has his little bin of toys, and he plays with them.  He watches the tv screen which is generally playing music but does have changing scenery.  

I had a headache by the time Katie got off work this afternoon.  It was stinking hot outdoors, 101F in the spot where I parked my car.  Thank goodness I'd left the windows open...I'll have to get myself one of those sunshades to go on the dash.  I figured the day had been so tough, I might as well go on to Kroger and take my chances shopping, lol.  

I picked up a handful of items there.  Five half gallons of milk on sale for $1.39. I bought the limit which I planned to freeze, a loaf of bread in case I don't feel like making more come the weekend. Dog food for Rufus, a bag of chips for John, a box of sugar-free raspberry Jello, because I so seldom see that flavor and I dearly love raspberry. I priced almond flour, but they had only Bob's Red Mill and that was very dear in price.  Hemp hearts also were dear.  I left those behind. I never located white vinegar which I really wanted to make refrigerator pickles, dressings and such.  So, I came off light as far as shopping went.  I checked out without a hitch despite using the self-checkout.  

I put on a music play list to get me home. I normally just want quiet on the drive home, but I very much needed the calming influence the music had this afternoon.  I chose a Jake Westbrook Summer music list and heard some interesting songs.  I mulled over how 'radio' (because that's where most of these songs were originally aired) has changed over the years.  These days I can hear fundraisers, golden oldies which is mostly songs from the 80's just now, lol, and political pundits but very little of the sorts of programs I listened to even 30 years ago.  Ah well.  That's why I am grateful for YouTube just now.

It's meant to be terribly hot for two more days. Then it cools down to something akin to mild temperatures which means a bit under 90F.  After 101F it shall feel almost chilly...

Tuesday, June 24:  Today Katie turns 33.  I was just that age when I had her 33 years ago!  I've thought and thought about how life played out when it came to Katie coming into this world.  

If I said I was on the cusp of big changes when Samuel was born, then I was on the cusp of still more when Katie came along 8 years later.  I'd had a rough year when I got pregnant with her.  My marriage broke.  I was in a job that was all wrong for my personality and knew I wasn't giving nearly the performance the patients or the facility deserved.  

I had to return home to live with my mom and dad after the physical rehab hospital, because my marriage gave its last gasp and fully died. I moved out on my own for the first time and traversed all sorts of stupid things like a rotten car that cost me more than I was going to pay for it and not having hot water for a month before I could get a repair service to even consider coming to the house to check why I hadn't any.  I was scared and unsure of myself and fumbling every step of the way.

 I met someone just after my divorce was final who misled me.  I found myself a single parent with two kids and another on the way, struggling to make ends meet, get my feet under me and making a lot of hard decisions.  But I knew when I discovered I was pregnant that I would go forward with it.  People told me I was 'brave'.  I would laugh and say, "Or maybe just stupid..."  Not because I felt stupid, but it was very much a part of the great unknown future that loomed darkly before me.  And maybe they were right and it was brave, too because too many told me there was an 'easy way out'.  It wasn't for me.  Still, it cost me something to go forward with that pregnancy.  Reputations were still broken over such things at that time in the area where I lived.

One reason my marriage went bad was because my ex made the solo decision to make sure he'd never have another child.   I had no say in the matter. All my life long, I knew I dreamed of three children.  I used to sit behind these two little girls at church who had a very bad mother and a very loving aunt who poured herself into caring for them whenever she could which was often.  There was one girl with dark brown eyes and every time I looked into her sweet face and those brown eyes smiled at me, I started crying.  I knew beyond a doubt that my last child would have been a girl with brown eyes, and I spent 6 years mourning the loss of that child even though I'd never had a chance to be pregnant a third time.

So, when I found myself pregnant, in not great circumstances, at a time in my life when I was neither physically, emotionally, or mentally prepared to have another child, I accepted the news from my doctor with something that felt a whole lot like a renewal of faith in life and a God from whom I had grown very distant.  I remember calling Mama and telling her.  That was one place I expected full condemnation.  I told her "I can't help but see this child as a gift...And I plan to go right ahead with this pregnancy."  For all that she can be harsh and hurtful, this was one area where my mom and I were in complete agreement.  There would be no abortion.  I tell you all right now that she fully supported me in my choice and she never spoke a single recrimination whatever she might have thought.

When Katie was born it was a hot day, much like today.  Terribly hot with heat warnings all over the news.  I held her in my arms, and I swore her eyes were already brown. She took one look at me, and she started talking.   I had never heard an hours old infant talk before, but this one did.  My goodness that baby cooed and ahhed and oohed from her first hour of life and didn't stop for 12 years.  

I had my third child, the brown-eyed girl I'd grieved over, and I couldn't have been happier.  Nor could I have asked for a better support system of friends, co-workers, and family during that time of my life, despite some others in the community making snide or hateful remarks or dropping acquaintanceships.  

10 weeks after Katie's birth, John and I finally connected.   I walked into my living room to find him holding my baby with an ease I'd seldom seen in a man.  My neighbor was in the house and had been holding the baby when she opened the door to John, invited him in and handed the baby over to him!  I was nonplussed and a bit leery about it, but I couldn't deny that he certainly seemed at home both with the baby and my neighbor!  

Later I discovered that John had also dreamed of a third child, a little girl all his own, but he didn't say so right away.  He had the good sense to wait a few months before he said it and we were a couple by then.  He adopted Katie as his own shortly after we married two years later.

I think it's wonderful how God took my grief over that missing third child and John's longings for a daughter and brought them together into one girl we call Katie, all the while gelling us into a happy couple.   There have been hard times, as there tends to be with any child, but oh the blessings we've had, too over the past 33 years with our little girl!  

Wednesday, June 25:  At 6:35 am this morning, after I'd been up a good twenty minutes, had a shower and was mostly dressed for the day, I had a text from Katie.  "Cody's home.  Take the day off today.  Stay home."  I was over the moon.  

John said, "Go back to bed!  Get some more sleep!"  "Oh no...I've already showered and that woke me up.  I plan to enjoy today!"  So I headed right into the kitchen, gathered what I wanted to go outdoors, including my first cup of coffee, and off I went to work in the yard for the next hour and a half.  John came out to look for me eventually.  

I'd finished weeding and mulching the Rose bed, had partially weeded and mulched the 'gas' bed (where the gas line runs into the house).  I'd moved the pile of branches out of the gas bed.  I'd emptied the outdoor trashcan and cleaned a little mess off the shelves on the back porch.  I stopped only because my shower was no longer valid.  I was soaked to the skin with sweat, mosquito bitten, scratched from the roses, dirty, and itchy with mulch and completely content.  John shook his head as he followed me indoors when I headed to the shower.

I sat with him for a bit.  Had a second cup of coffee, overbaked another breakfast.  There is a deep learning curve with the new combination oven.  I've adjusted temperatures lower and cut cooking times, but I'm not quite where I should be just yet for breads or warming foods.  John has said he's become a Cajun Chef with the new oven, because everything he puts in is blackened, lol.  For all that, we really do like this oven.  It doesn't put off the heat that the old toaster oven did.

Anyway, I sat with John for a good bit and I'm sure he thought, "Ah now she'll sit here and rest with me..."  Nope.  I got up and went to make the bed in our room which led to picking up the room and putting things away, clearing off my desk, gathering all my shoes to go back into the closet, then into the master bath where I deep cleaned, mopped and laid out the new rugs.  I came out of the bathroom panting, lol.  John said, "What about a day off?!"  "But I'm doing the things I LIKE doing!"  I told him.  There is a great contentment in lavishing love upon my own home.  I like housekeeping.  I do light housekeeping at Katie's; a bonus benefit she knows comes with having Mama keeping the kids.

I sat and cooled down and then I was off again.  This time, I went back outdoors but not for a long spell.  Just ten minutes or so.  I wanted to pick up the patio.  I'd piled branches I cut, and weeds Id pulled a month ago on one end.  The hose was unraveled all over the patio from Caleb's sprinkler time last week.  There was a pile of trash I'd been accumulating for a long time, since April or so when I began work out there.  I cleared all that up, snipped lower limbs off the tomatoes, pinched some basil and oregano off to dry, potted four of the fig trees for Katie's friend and snipped some more off the impatiens so I could root them.  I'm going to see if I can root the limbs off the tomato plants, too.

At that point, John came looking for me again, lol.  I promised him I was coming right indoors, that I'd just gathered up trash...Indoors to cool off again, then I was back at the cleaning.  This time the guest bath got a good cleaning, new rug and towels.   Then the kitchen got swept because I'd tracked in so much sandy soil on the damp soles of my shoes.  I mopped the guest bath and the kitchen, laid out new rugs in the bathrooms, puttered about cleaning this and that...And finally, I decided at that point that I most certainly could stop and take the rest of the day off...Until I think of something more I want to do!

Thursday, June 26:  I'm rather irritated at myself.  I'd meant to take the children to the last program for this month but somehow, I've got my head calendar wrong...and the program was yesterday, not next week as I was envisioning it!  Darn it!  That was the last program I could do with the kids for this month.  I'll have to pick up the July calendar and see what we might do together.

Another day with Caleb and Henry.  Both boys were fine today, though each gave me a struggle in his own way.  Henry did not want to stay in the playpen, but I can't just let him roll about on the floor in the house either.  He was very active today.  That wee one has a strong kick, let me tell you, as I learned when I was trying to wrestle him down long enough to get his diaper changed.  Caleb was very well behaved until it came time for homework and then he balked and rebelled and fought.  Ugh.  

Last night about the time we got to bed, we had storms move in and the promised cool down did occur which was a blessing because our power went out at 2am and was still out this morning when we got up to start our day.  Those little portable rechargeable camp fans?  Perfect for stirring the air about in the room.  That standard stove top percolator (and the gas stove)?  A huge blessing!  It meant coffee for us and a cooked breakfast.  The electricity came on again as soon as breakfast and coffee were done.  Glad of that, too. 

I had one near fail...I hadn't drawn fresh water up for storage in a few months.  I'd use what I have on hand now for washing up but not for cooking, I don't think.  Fortunately, we had plenty of bottled water on hand and had filled the tank on the Keurig and the water pitcher we keep next to it before bed last night.

I've puttered about this evening since I got home.  I have a pretty bouquet, a homegrown one, of two gladioli and a Star Gazer lily that is quite lovely.  I finished the pedicure I started over the weekend.  I watered indoor plants with the water I had left after boiling eggs yesterday.  I put away the dishes I'd washed last night after supper.  I had an easy enough supper, one of my frozen entrees thawed and yet another zucchini, lol.  I have had squash three times this week.  I still have three more...and a container of leftover squash casserole in the fridge.  No problem there as I can freeze that.  And I do plan to grate the zucchini to put into the freezer, too.  And if Sam gives me more of them, then I'll use them as well or preserve them.    

Another day done...

Saturday, June 28:  John went with me yesterday to Katie's.  He wanted a haircut (and needed it, too!).  I was adamant that I would not go to Katie's this weekend.  I need the break, and they need it from me, even if the boys are delighted to see us all over again.  John was disappointed that his Sunday routine is to be broken, but I insisted, and Katie backed me up!  So, John spent today with the boys.  He lulled Henry to sleep for a long, lovely nap.  He almost had Caleb asleep a bit later, but John said his eyes would close and he'd snap them back open instantly.  Caleb could have benefitted from that nap, but I guess it's okay since Grampa got a short one with Henry and I got one later when he went back to Caleb's room to sit on the floor.  

I'm trying to incorporate a Friday Funday into the routine.  I'm trying to make what Caleb's done over the week fresh and fun.  I brought dominoes and had him match the numbers of the tiles together.  We cut shapes from Playdoh and then gave each a texture with different kitchen items (fork, colander, pancake turner).   

The biggest lesson I'm trying to teach right now is that we do what we have to do in order to have time to do what we want to do.  He was very good about putting away his folded laundry and collecting all of the dirty laundry from the bathroom yesterday.  I don't do the laundry, but I did fold the laundry.  Katie's washer/dryer is a big step down from the house in an enclosed garage and I cannot quite manage that step up.  

After Katie got off work, she not only cut John's hair, but went right ahead and cut Caleb's and then she ordered Cody to get in the chair next.  I told Henry, "You're lucky.  Mama won't be cutting your head of hair just yet."  He has lovely soft brown wavy hair, and it reminds me of how wavy Isaac's baby hair was.   To this day Sam's most often mentioned regret is that he ever cut Isaac's hair when he was a toddler because it's been straight ever since.

When we left, we drove down to Perry to purchase blades for the mower.  They had none in stock.  John said we'd order some this weekend, and we've done so today.  We'll see if we receive these.  Remember last July that we ordered blades and the package arrived empty, and the company wouldn't even acknowledge emails or complaints.  Let's hope for better luck!

We took a backside of Perry roadway so didn't pass fast food places.  I was so hungry!  I'd planned to ask John to stop for takeout for supper, since my supper plan had been our lunch for the day.  I thought, "When we get to Ft. Valley, I'll ask him to stop there..."  Well darned if he didn't take another back way and we missed the food places in town.  When we arrived in Reynolds, I asked if he'd go on to Butler and stop at Subway for sandwiches.  He was silent for a long time and then said, "I will but only if you'll buy two so we can have a sandwich tomorrow as well."  Not a hard request to fulfill.  But we didn't go to Butler, we decided to drive to Roberta where we filled our car with gas and picked up our supper (and lunch for today).

It was good to come home to a clean house and know that the bulk of the week's work was done earlier in the week.  We ate our sandwich, watched the next to last episode of Endeavor and I feel asleep in my chair by 9pm.  A real party gal, that's me!

Just as soon as I was asleep last night, a flash of lightning lit up the room and woke me.  Thunder rumbled and was quickly followed by a very heavy rainstorm.  No wind but gracious the pounding of the rain on the roof was loud.  It all ended around 2am, but water was still standing in the yard when I got up at 8 this morning.

I went outdoors and tackled the flower bed between the patio and the back porch.  It's been looking terribly overgrown and wild.  The gardenia has doubled in height.  The hydrangea has gotten quite big.  There is spiderwort in front of the bed too, as well as the wild day lily. The spiderwort had turned to seed.  My way of controlling those is to simply snap them off at the base of the stem.  Then I dump them in the woods where some take hold and bloom and some just languish.  Those in the flower bed will put up new growth and bloom again.  

Today my goal was to remove the dead woody daylily stems, cut all the dying blooms off the hydrangea and prune the gardenia.  All three jobs were accomplished.  Then I sprinkled coffee grounds under the hydrangea which likes it.  My goal of spreading mulch in the bed in front of the back porch was overly ambitious.  I was wiped out.  I came indoors and showered and changed.

The trimmings from the gardenia bush I'm going to attempt to root.  Not only does John just love them but Sam has asked if I can root some for him to plant along his front yard fence line to block the dust from the road.  I want to see if I can also root some hydrangea.  

Oh! I put on the shorts I bought earlier this year.  They're just yoga type shorts of stretchy material but they were so tight when I got them that I felt a bit like a casing sausage.  This morning when I pulled them up, they felt just right.  Not at all too tight.  Over the last three weeks I've lost enough weight that my size 22 jeans are now a wee bit loose.  I'm pretty proud of that.  

Putting on these shorts today was a good incentive.  This past week I've 'indulged' myself a little more often than I'd typically do.  A handful of chips here, a mini candy bar there, an extra bite of squash casserole after supper...The one thing I've noted is that if I'm particularly busy some days at Katie's I find it hard to get my water intake in.  On those days I'm prone to fantasize of stopping off at fast food places on the way home (I pass several) and so by the time I'm home I'm ready to munch and snack.  

I have indulged on the worst of those days (it's happened twice) to a glass of unsweetened iced tea or a diet soda.  It's $3 for a large drink.  John suggested I make my own tea and take a bottle along to indulge in on the way home if it's truly a temptation to get more than just the beverage.  He's got a good idea there!  I can fill my cup with ice before leaving Katie's and have a nice cold drink on the way home minus all the additional temptation.

I kept telling myself to be mindful and stay the course this week, but I'd indulge in a little something that wasn't on plan each day.  I won't have nearly the same trouble next week because this week I've found my 'progress' report is a good one, thanks to the shorts fitting so well.  

A quick frugal report for the day and I'll end this day's posting: I went through the fridge today and had to toss half a head of Iceberg lettuce.  That's my least favorite lettuce and I'm sorry I didn't finish it up because I dislike waste favorite or not.  I never should have purchased the favored Romaine before I was closer to finishing that Iceberg off.  I also tossed half a bag of coleslaw mix.  I started out good with it.  I made slaw and then I added it to two salads and then it got put in the drawer out of sight and today it was grey and sour.  I don't typically buy coleslaw mix but it was actually cheaper than buying cabbage when I purchased it.   So that's my NOT frugal part of the week.

And too, I spent money on take out again this week.  Neither week has my choice been the best cost-wise even if we did get two meals off of each meal. I'm not going to judge myself too harshly on this count because I have cooked meals routinely each week I've been working.  I'm just so tired and done by the end of a long week of keeping kids and running errands after work each day.  They are necessary errands, but they take that extra bit of time I might be at home.  And I'll only be working about two or three weeks more.

On the other hand, today I used the last two peaches and the last two apricots to make a Cobbler. I used a stevia product for 3/4ths of the sugar in that recipe.  I tossed all of the blueberries Sam picked for me into my cereal bowl and had a bowl of blueberries with a sprinkling of cereal on top for my breakfast.  I took the last three zucchini left in the fridge and grated them and put them in the freezer in 1 cup measures.  I didn't let a single bit of the produce he blessed me with go to waste and I'm glad of that.

Sam brought over 8 meal boxes from the school this week.  He gets them for each child, and he has very limited storage in his small home.  So, he donated this week to me.  I'm keeping three and giving five to Katie for them to have on hand.  Mind you all, Katie could get the same for Caleb but in her county, the parent must wait in line at one of the schools for the handouts. I suppose it's because her county is largely urban.   She can't miss that time at work, nor can Cody so they don't get them.  Our county delivers them to the students' homes.

Probably the biggest money saver I've made this week is to stay out of the grocery stores.  The sales are hardly worth the effort.  I'm thinking the holiday week sales we used to see on condiments and meats, and such are a thing of the past.  

For supper tonight we'll have lasagna from the freezer, green beans and garlic toast.  I could make a salad if we're terribly hungry, but we had a lot of vegetables on our sandwiches today (spinach, bell pepper, onion, tomato).

I took my lunch to Katie's every single day this week.  Not that I'd be able to go out and get any lunch if I hadn't!   

I made my first pay count by paying for John's new glasses and bought new rugs for both bathrooms rather than frittering the money away.  I've already planned to use the next pay to cover some of our annual fees.  I'll top those sub accounts up for the year and free up a few dollars each month for the rest of the year.  And with the last pay, I'm going to lay that towards a pantry restock.  I'm doing my best to make sure that this time outside of my home counts for something.

Sunday, June 28:  Not a terribly exciting day.  I didn't sleep well because my knee and hip ached so last night.  I finally got enough relief with the heating pad to get a little sleep.  I still woke before the alarm went off this morning.

I was so pleased it was sunny today with predictions of rain only in the afternoon, not the morning.  I wore my favorite blue and white cotton maxi dress.  I didn't realize that today was the Fourth of July program for the church.  There was a sea of red, white and blue in the lobby and sanctuary.  I fit right in.

We stopped to get ice cream and peaches on the way home.  It wasn't peach ice cream, but a Nutty Buddy type ice cream.  It was super rich, and I told John I believed I wouldn't eat one of those twice.  I don't know who supplies the peaches at the place where we stopped but they were delicious last week, so I thought I'd get a bag again this week.  I'm not buying the half bushel boxes like I did last year.  I'm getting only a small bag at a time.  Those little bags at the convenience store cost $10.  When my time is my own once more, I'll go the sheds and see how they are priced there.

Once home today, I took up the chicken I cooked in the slow cooker and made chicken tacos.  I had enough shredded chicken leftover to make Taquitos for the freezer.  I believe I got a dozen of those.

I unpacked three of the boxes of meals Sam had given me and put those away.  

All in all, it's been a very pleasant day.  It's been a pleasant week.  Here's hoping next week will be the same!

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The Week: June 16 to June 22

 

Monday, June 16:  Dozed off last night before 9pm and decided to take myself off to bed shortly thereafter.  I went right to sleep again, woke when John came to bed, stayed awake long enough to say prayers and then went back to sleep.  I woke this morning at 6 a.m. and felt rested and ready for a week.

Oh, the optimist that I am!

I left on time.  Traffic was fine.  Arrived on time.  Henry was all smiles.  Caleb seemed fine.  I just knew it would be a great day.  

 What I didn't count on was a 5-year-old little boy who had decided that today nothing was going to be easy.  Did he set out to make the day hard just especially for me?  No, not at all.  He was just in a contrary mood.  If I said 'Come' he refused to budge.  If I said, "Don't move" he couldn't stay in a single spot for anything.  So it went.  

He finally asked if he could have lunch.  It was a good half hour from mealtime, but I thought food might be helpful and asked if he'd like a snack. Indeed, he did, and he followed immediately on the heels of a hearty snack with a proper lunch of which he ate every single bite.  I couldn't help but wonder if he'd just been plain old hungry all morning long.

Truth told neither boy was up to their usual this morning.  Henry took a nap mid-morning which he does occasionally and then he had his lunch.  He spent the rest of the afternoon lying on his back in the crib.  He didn't sit up nor talk and chatter.  Just lay on his back and played with his little book, quiet as a mouse.  I remarked upon his quietness to Katie when she came out for lunch.  "Yes, he does spend a day that way now and then."

Cody came in early today.  I took my cue and left him with the boys.  Everyone was fed and changed and rested.  John wanted me to run by Walmart and pick up his glasses.  Apparently, Georgia has recently changed laws about glasses.  A 'licensed ophthalmology technician' must be on duty to do just about everything except clean your lenses.   The technician was 'out'.  

I wandered around to the bed and bath section and looked over rugs.  I've been very unhappy with the rugs I bought for both bathrooms and decided to see if they had anything I liked better.  I found some I liked and felt were reasonably priced.  I went by the women's department and picked up two t-shirts.  I don't know why I bought V-necked t-shirts back in the spring.  

They are very immodest it seems to me, at least these days.  They seem to be much lower than they were in my youth.  I don't mind them as much if I can put a tank top under but I'm not willing to add an extra layer of clothing this time of year.  I found two crew neck shirts to piece out my 'work' wardrobe (jeans and t-shirts work best). 

Then I went into the grocery section and looked for a few items such as celery, lettuce, stuff that I thought would help round out meals this week.  Needless to say, the wait for the technician to return was expensive.  And fruitless because they refused to release his glasses to me, insisting he must come in and let them check the glasses...I assured them that he would be in to have them adjusted and if he had any other issues but no they wouldn't release them.  

At home, I found a letter from the company that firmly contradicted the information I'd heard this morning from the agent.  I made a call to her.  She was given the run around.  Back to square one there.  I can see that we must go through this little season of financial frustrations just now, too.  Ah well.

Tuesday, June 17:  It was a long day today.  Why was it so long?  I can't say.  Caleb was better behaved today.  He didn't argue.  He wasn't rude.  He just went right on doing whatever he chose to do instead.  After two and a half hours of struggling, I asked myself, "Is he doing harm in any way?  Is what he's doing beneficial to him?"  Well, the first answer was a definite "No" and the last was "Yes".  It wasn't what I wanted him to be doing but he was using scissors to cut paper into shapes.  He was using his imagination to create things.  He was using a paintbrush as a pencil to trace letters.  He was writing on a paper towel rather than a sheet of paper.  So, I just stopped fussing and let him go.

It was a long day with Henry, too.  He didn't nap though he was genuinely sleepy.  I tried to hold him, but it was like wrestling a wild animal today.  Remember how quiet and relaxed he was yesterday?  Today he was very active indeed.  

At 10:30, I looked at both boys and just shook my head.  How on earth had time not moved forward?  Why wasn't it past lunch time already?   And I promise you at 1:52 I absolutely was sure I'd never make it to 3pm.  At this point, Caleb had awakened Henry from his very brief nap climbed into the playpen.  The two boys were playing laughing and cackling and screeching.  Henry was LOUD about it too.  Then he got up on his hands and knees and crawled, actually crawled, across the pen to reach Caleb.  Little stinker.  It's official.  He's now a mover.

On my way home, I went by Kroger.  I'd received another email from the manager at the store, and he said I was to go to customer service to get the last of the register fiasco handled.  The store compensated me an additional $10 as well, which was nice of them.  But wow, oh wow.  In the end, I had earned $31 from that initial visit.  It took two visits to customer service and three emails between me and the store manager to get it all squared away.  The store was courteous and helpful, and they did compensate me the extra funds which I'll use.  

Then the refund we've been looking for arrived. Praise God!  Just last night, I prayed about all these minor financial aggravations I'd been trying to sort out and asked God to please just sort them all out.

I left Kroger and stopped to get an unsweetened iced tea.  I just needed something more than water.  I swear there was not 2 tablespoons of ice in the tea...Why is it in winter when you order a drink, they pack it in so tight you barely have room to put liquid but in summer they barely cover the bottom of the cup and then pour warm tea over the top.  

I happened to have ice in my Yeti tumbler, so I just poured half the tea over that.  Boy was it refreshing!  The air was hot and oppressive.  As I got nearer home the sky got darker and darker.  We were not supposed to get rain at any point this week.  Guess what?   As soon as I walked into Sam's it poured torrential rain.

I had a piece of leftover birthday cake at Sam's.  Gosh but that was good, too.  I'd gone by Sam's to pick up a bag of vegetables he'd set aside from his garden.  I stayed and he chattered away, stopping to say how happy he was that I'd come by to 'visit'.  Well, I'm glad it rained, and I had stayed if only because it made him happy.  

The children (Millie and Isaac) had survived their dental work yesterday which was fairly major stuff, especially for Isaac.  His cheeks were flushed and swollen.  The new dental work was all done under anesthesia.

Sam was putting together a pan of vegetable soup as we talked.  I could look past him out through the kitchen window to the pouring rain and was reminded of what John said this morning as I was leaving, when it was foggy.  "I know it's summer and I know it's warm out there, but doesn't it just look like autumn fog?"  I kept thinking how wonderful that soup would taste tonight with thunderstorms raging.  He was especially proud that everything in the pot, but the beef and the carrots were from his own garden.

I didn't come home until nearly 5pm.  John had mowed the yard today, happily before all the rain began.  Tomorrow night Caleb is coming home with us to spend two nights to have a 'sleepover' as he keeps calling it, lol.  Katie and Cody plan to paint their main living area while he's here.  I doubt I'll have a chance to write much over the next two days.

Thursday, June 19:  Yesterday was Sam's birthday.  He stands over 6 ft. tall and is a good-looking young man of 41.  It's a long, long time from the day the photo below was taken, the day he got his first haircut.  (I think the photo shown is the before shot, but I may be wrong.  Those bangs look pretty straight.)

He's been through the fires these past few years.  He lost his job nearly two years ago.  He went back to school with his sights set on a new career.  He's had other troubles, the sort too many of us have had and didn't want but there they are.

That girl in the picture is a long way from the woman I am now, too.  I would have been about 26 at that time.  I was a year away from undertaking a huge journey in self-improvement and personal growth.  There were truly difficult times ahead.  What was behind me was the third of three nervous breakdowns.  I was starting to be angry at the world around me for the hand I'd been dealt and tired of people who expected me to 'just accept things the way they are.'     I was on the verge of making some bad decisions that sank me lower still and then finding I had nowhere to go but up once more if I'd only start the climb.

We look at pictures of people and never know what they've just been through, nor what they are about to go through do we?   It's what makes me look very closely at the historical family photographs.  Like the one of my great grandmother below: 

If I had my guess, I'd say she might be younger than I was when the above photo was taken.  I haven't worked on the genealogy pages that dealt with her in years now.  That will be my next task once I finish this current family line.

Was Della already married here?  Disillusioned with the man who came and went as he pleased, stopping off just long enough to get her pregnant and then leaving again?  Was she already a single parent?   And what did my great grandfather even look like?  I don't think I've ever seen a single photo of him.   What attracted her to him?

I was blessed to know my Great-Grandmama.  In her late years, she laughed easily and had bright blue eyes that shone with joy.  She never remarried after she and her husband divorced.  She had a hard life, but somehow, she'd not grown bitter nor let poverty spoil her outlook on life.  Maybe, like myself, she went through the fires that refined and grew her and, in the end, felt peace about the life she'd led.

I've reached that point in my life.  I'm not quite the merry soul that my Great-Grandmama was, but I'm at peace about my life. 

One day my son will look back on these recent years of his life and he too will be glad that he went through this fire.  But it's hard to be grateful when the flames are still actively surrounding you.

I am at home, today.  Caleb came home with me last night.  He was a handful just at first, but then he settled in and played happily.  He went to bed last night and I heard him yawning within ten minutes.  Then he went to sleep and slept until about 6:30 am.  He's played outdoors freely for hours.  He's played indoors.  He is down for quiet time just now.

I had a whole hour and a half outdoors today.  That hour and a half drained me because it was hot, but goodness it was good to be outdoors with my hands in dirt, improving my spaces as much as I can.  Not a lot done really when I stepped back to look at it all, but I worked hard and steadily and what got done took all of my time.  I cleaned out the bed next to the back steps again, moving the big, galvanized bucket of gladiolus to a less conspicuous part of the next flower bed and bringing the half barrel planter of coreopsis closer to the entry end of the porch.  

I managed to trim out trees that have insisted on sprouting in the second flower bed, then spread one bag of mulch.  I planted some impatiens I'd rooted, found a volunteer Touch me not to plant in a pot, accidentally pulled up a shoot of lantana that was attached to a root, so I took that to transplant in a spot that is sure to be sunny, and totally in the way of mowing and weeding and life in general.  

That last bed, where I transplanted the lantana is a HUGE mess.  I have so much work to do that end of the yard.  I nearly tackled it today, but I was drained from the work I'd already done.  I sensibly stopped, drank a tall glass of lemon water, then showered.  And after a brief rest period, I baked cookies for Sam's belated birthday 'cake'.  He asked me at Christmas to make him a batch of Russian tea cakes.  

Of course, Caleb could hardly stand seeing me make cookies and he not have any at all.  I explained they were a gift for Uncle Sam but assured him I wouldn't send them off without his getting a chance to try them.  I made BLT's (I always add cheese) for lunch today.  It was the perfect summer sort of lunch after a busy day in the house and yard.

I know Caleb is happy here but he's happier at home.  He asked me to call last night so that he could speak to Mama and Dad and Not the Mama.  Yes, he misses them, but I've missed being home.  I am so happy to have this extra day at home this week.  I do truly love my own home best and prefer to be in my own space following my own routines, cleaning my own house, puttering in my own yard.

This weekend, I won't be home much.  We have Outreach on Saturday morning.  We have church on Sunday, then we want to visit Taylor and John wants Katie to give him a haircut. I'd love to be at home all weekend long but alas, it's not to be.  Perhaps next weekend...

But now I'm jumping ahead.  I'd much rather enjoy now.

Saturday, June 21:  Friday was a harder day for whatever reason.  Caleb didn't want to do work sheets. He kept saying he felt tired.  But suffice to say that as glad as he was to go home to his family, he also hated to leave our house and said once again how much he wishes he lived here.  I think what he likes about being here is the freedom he has to play outdoors.  

Katie is understandably cagey about his being outdoors at their home.  There is no backdoor and the back yard is impractically small.  The only place to play is in the front yard and while they do have some depth, the house sits on a busy street.  The front yard isn't fenced in.  There's no way he can go outdoors on his own to play there.  When he got home on Friday he wouldn't even go outdoors to play.   He didn't want to do any work either, but he plowed through three of the five worksheets before he completely quit.

Katie eventually came out of the office and took his temperature.  He had a low-grade fever, nothing I could feel by hand.  I made an executive decision to let him rest on the couch while I made lunch for him.  He went to bed and took a nap.  

After I left Katie's, I ran by the bank to attend to matters there then back to the grocery store to (a) find Key Lime Pies for Kate's birthday and (b) pick up a few sales items along with something super easy for supper.  

I've done very well with my cash grocery budget.  I had a bit left after Week 1.  I spent that and a good bit of Week 2 funds on Friday.  I want to get one thing more from this week's grocery sales: Milk for the freezer.  

Today we went to Outreach.  I seriously considered just staying home today but as much as I didn't want to go back to Warner Robins today, I did want to be with John. I was blessed by the worship music and the sermon and the fellowship.   We've made it a habit to grab a lunch on our way home but today we decided to drive over to our county seat and buy local.  It was good.  A bit pricey, but I'd have spent as much in Warner Robins, and this is helping local people stay afloat.  It's not the sort of lunch we'd buy every day or even once a month, but we enjoyed it today and got lunch and dinner off it.

John has insisted we have a 'rest' day all afternoon today.  I have read other blogger's posts, worked on entering genealogy notes into my files, rinsed and neatly stacked dishes, put away clothing, mended a couple of things.  But nothing really laborious or difficult.  Nothing that took more than minutes.  Just enough to keep me from feeling any one thing had gotten monotonous or become work.

Tomorrow will be another busy day.  We will go to church, then over to Katie's.  I'll take her birthday pies, her gift.  We'll run by and pick up the missionary mail.  I'll message them with what they need and then, it's time to settle to work at home.   I will need to plan meals, including breakfasts and lunches for the week.  I would like to bake loaf bread, and a loaf of zucchini bread.  I'll need to sort out the fridge and make sure I'm not missing anything that might spoil over the next week.  I'll need to bring the checkbook up to date.  I'd really love to get outdoors and look over plants, pot up a couple of fig trees for a friend of Kate's.   I'm not going to fool myself into thinking all of this will get accomplished.  I'm just extremely hopeful.  And you never know when five minutes is just enough to get a job done and dusted.    

Sunday, June 22:  At the end of yesterday, I made a short list of things I thought I'd like to get done.  I accomplished more than half.  I quit at 6pm this evening, when our dinner was ready.  I have bread rising and the oven heating to bake it.  The sink is full of dishes.  I don't care.  I'm tired.  I've done a good bit of what was on my list.  Last night I prayed that God would give me the time and energy to do what I could.  I've done it.  

This morning, I unloaded the dishwasher and put away dishes while breakfast cooked.  I hauled a chair into the kitchen after breakfast and sat down in front of the fridge and sorted that out.  I made pimento cheese for sandwiches later this week.  I gathered the things that needed to go out the door with us this morning.  I got the checkbook squared away.  I got the bed made and all of my clothing put away.  I even managed to swish the back bathroom and reset it.  I gathered trash from the various cans about the house.  None of these tasks took long and I fitted them into moments between doing other things.

We had a great service at church today.  Then we headed over to Kate's.  John wanted to get a haircut.  Kate wanted to celebrate her birthday with us.  We were in a time crunch and so we chose to celebrate the birthday.  Her actual birthday is on Tuesday.  But we could gather together today, and it was a nice little party.  We ate pizza while Henry was fed apples and blackberries which he liked so well he didn't let any slip from his mouth at all!

This afternoon when we returned, I pulled squash and onion from the fridge to start cooking.  I want to make a squash casserole this week.  John doesn't care for squash, nor for zucchini, but we've both on hand.  I made a salad for my lunch tomorrow.  I'll take a can of tuna with me to finish that off.  I packaged up the ground beef I brought home, and the hot sausage I'd mixed with ground pork to tone it down and vacuum sealed those for the freezer.  I made supper and handwashed the dishes that needed to be handwashed.  

I didn't get to the zucchini today.  I wanted to grate several of them and use some to make a loaf of chocolate zucchini bread.  I decided that just needed to wait. It was too much to take on tonight.

Sam brought over some blueberry cinnamon rolls made with his own homegrown blueberries.  We'll have those for breakfast in the morning, probably with a boiled egg each.  I have my lunch salad ready to go and I'll probably make up tuna salad for John before I leave in the morning.  We have enough fried chicken for a meal.  I think I'll make the squash casserole to go with that.  I have a handful of broad beans that I'll cook with some potatoes.  John will be happy with that.  And that is Monday's meals planned.  

I have mushrooms, coleslaw mix, zucchini and some lettuce in the fridge that I need to use this week. I had thought I'd make Parmesan crusted Zucchini chips as a side dish one night. I think John will eat those without issue.  I don't know what I want to do with the mushrooms.  I chopped a cup of them this evening and mixed up with our hamburger meat for burgers tonight but there are lots more to use up.  They are tiny ones, not big enough to stuff.  I'll figure out how to use all of these when I'm less tired.

It's time to take bread from the oven and let it start cooling on the counter.  I hope I remember to wrap it and put it away before I head off to bed tonight.

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The Week Behind: June 9 - 15

 

Monday, June 9:  Last night the sunset was lovely.  Not brilliantly colored but awesome just the same.  Big white fluffy clouds piled high in the sky and the sun backlit them and tinted them lemon and peach.  I thought "Wow...Now I know why artists have painted skies like that so often!"  It was truly moving and gave me such a deep sense of peace and rightness with the world.

This morning, I had my usual alarm anxiety and woke at least an hour before the darn thing went off.  That didn't bode well for me, since I'd been late going to sleep last night despite attempting to drift right off at a decent hour.  I must remember a prayer that I read...Can't remember where but it was a vlogger or blogger who is fairly well known.  She said if she's had a bad night's sleep to pray that her strength be equal to the day before her.  It's a worthy prayer to pray, very wise.  It's never failed me when I've remembered to pray it after a tough night.  I only wish I remembered it always!

I believe in prepping the night before to ease the morning rush.  I laid out my clothing and set out my makeup and morning pills prior to going to bed last night.  My lunch was ready in the fridge.  I had supper plans and had managed some prep for the week.  I felt strong on that score.

I couldn't quite shake the anxiety I'd had the night before.  John was chatty and I was withdrawn.  We discussed what work the two porches need.  Both need painting and the back porch needs deep cleaning and the trim on the sheds must be painted fresh this year.  How is any of that even going to get done?  No offense to John, but those jobs are in my corner of life, they don't even come into focus in his.  He's not going to do any of that work.  When he saw tears trickling down my cheeks he was upset.  "What's going on?"

"I'm not complaining.  I'm not.  But I feel overwhelmed and anxious about doing this job before me and the things I won't get done at home. There are so many things that need doing here and needs I must meet elsewhere.  Sometimes it all seems like too much to handle."

I dried my tears and didn't say anything more.  John does not understand.  His understanding can't stretch to the things he might do that would be a help.   Not faulting him there.  All of these years, these things got done while he was working hours and hours away from home.  He was faithful and loyal to his work, and he brought his check home and provided for his family at a great sacrifice of time.  There was no one picking up his shifts so he could be home to celebrate a birthday or holiday with his family or to face crises that arose.  I did my part here at home by taking on lots of extra duties.  He's never once considered that I was the one who did them or that I am the only one who attends to them still.  It's sort of a 'man blind' thing.  You can say the catsup is on the top right-hand shelf of the door, and they stare at it and say, "Where?"

Never mind.  I dried my tears and swallowed down my overwhelm and got up from my chair.  

I decided to water the plants here indoors because it's a small task but a soothing one.  I saw that the impatiens I'd set in water last week had roots.  I happened to have a plant cell of soil ready to go and planted all six of the new plants this morning.  Somehow, I felt re-centered with these two activities and less hopeless.  The seeds I planted haven't come to much but everything I've set to root has increased and multiplied.  There's a life lesson in that I'm sure, if only I can figure it out.

The day went fine overall.  It's meant to rain all week.  It was meant to rain right at Caleb's outdoor time.  Katie and I talked about it yesterday and I said, "I'll take him out on the porch at least," and she said, "Mama just let him play in the rain if it's not thundering and lightning."  She knows how badly he needs that time outdoors.  I was a bit amused that she thought I might need that caution about thundering and lightning.  I let her play in puddles and in rain, but never did I once let her go outside in thunder and lightning!

When it began to rain this morning, I called him to come get his raincoat on and sent him right back out.  He stomped in puddles and proudly announced that he had a mud hole in one spot of the yard.  He pushed his trucks and cars through ponds of water, and he jumped on the rain wet trampoline.  He hung himself limply over a swing and twisted the chains round and round until he went into a gentle spin.  I remember how much enjoyment I'd found in that same activity when I was young.  It thundered gently only once but that was enough for Caleb to come right indoors.  He changed his clothes, and we settled down to the work of the day.

He sailed through almost all of his work sheets and then he painted and cut paper and made me bracelets from beads and pipe cleaners and the morning went right by.  Henry happily bounced in his bouncy seat and chattered at nobody and smiled at everyone.  

Henry wasn't any too keen on taking a nap in the play pen.  He fussed and groused and called Mama and Dada to no avail.  I checked his diaper, and he proved that babies are still in the business of pooping all the way up their backsides. When he was all fresh and clean once more, I rolled him over onto his tummy and rubbed his back and the tired little fellow just lay there and let me, but he wouldn't close those eyes for love or anything.  I finally put him back in the playpen and he started playing with his toys.  He talked to each one he picked up, whole conversations before he'd put one down and choose another.  Then suddenly he fell over and was sound asleep.  Just like that.  He only napped for about 20 minutes, but it was something.   

I can't say it was a hard day.  For a first day and a new summer routine for two households, it went fine.  I wasn't exhausted when I left.  But I did appreciate that quiet 40-minute ride home.  It grounded me and helped me be ready to relax at home.  

Wednesday, June 11:  My feet are up.  I have made dinner and cleared up and I'm sort of listening to the sermon, but not with my full attention since I've chosen to write, too.  The week has gone by.  

Yesterday John insisted on going with me to Katie's.  He's informed me he intends to come with me again tomorrow.  I'm of mixed minds about this.  On the one hand, it is a help to have him there when I need that extra pair of hands.  But it also means that there is no quiet time on the way home to unwind.  John chatters, sings nonsense songs, keeps rhythm to the turn signals' clicking, and is just generally vocal.  I find myself fighting the urge to tell him to just be quiet.

Yesterday it was nearly 7 before I got supper on the table.  You might well say, "But Terri...you planned meals.  You had easy things in the freezer.  Why so far off your usual supper hour?"  I'll tell you why.  

John refused to go order his glasses on his own.  He wouldn't go until after I got done with childcare.  The last thing I wanted to do was to sit in the vision center at Walmart.  But there I was, amongst a whole crew of people and one single technician working and everyone needing his help.   He was literally turning people away and suggesting they come back later or leave their name and number, and he'd call them when they were less busy.  

As it happened, John could not order the glasses he'd chosen at another location, so he had to choose a different pair, equally well priced.  He was happy I was there to give an opinion, so I suppose it worked out quite well.   As a bonus, two other men there began talking of how they had met their wives and how happy they were in their marriages, which is not something you get to hear every single day.  It was nice to hear.

After Walmart, we went to pick up prescriptions and there was another long line to sit in.  We got home about 6:30 and I put my readymade meal in the oven to reheat.  

But you know what?  While supper was cooking/heating, I also cooked some of Sam's fresh zucchini and yellow squash.  And then, I made yogurt.  I did, too!  I really wanted to make homemade yogurt this week, and I just grabbed the opportunity before me.  I was shocked at how quickly it got made.  It helped a lot that though I put the milk on lower heat to come up to the right temperature I had the flame a bit higher than I thought and it came up to a boil.  That took a lot of simmer time off the table...and meant less evaporation, too.  I flash cooled the hot milk in a pan of cold water, stirred in my yogurt, poured it into jars, set it in a bit of 120F water, covered it up and left it to incubate overnight.   It all came together in under 30 minutes!  I was so pleased over getting that yogurt made.  

My savings was substantial.  I paid $1.39 for the half gallon of milk and used half of the jug.  I bought a cup of Fage plain yogurt for $1.25 and used half of that.  So, I ended up with 2 full to the brim pints of yogurt for $1.94.  While not quite Greek yogurt it does tend to have more body than the regular yogurts.  In my area right now, 32 ounces of yogurt is anywhere from $5 to $7.  Mine has no pectin, cornstarch or carrageenan.  It's just milk and cultured yogurt.

After supper last night I worked on payday stuff.  GROAN...which reminded me just now that I completely forgot to drop mail off in town this afternoon.  Phooey!  Must get that done tomorrow.  Anyway, worked on bills last night.  It was after 9:00 pm before my day officially ended.  

I watched an episode of the new detective program we're watching.  Highly recommend!  It's titled "Endeavor" and is set in Oxford, England.  I haven't seen nudity or heard foul language and there are only mildly gruesome things seen only on rare occasions. There's always a Bible verse involved in the show somehow and a lovely police chief, and captain with a sense of morals and decency who are genuinely aghast at extramarital affairs and free love (the show is set in the mid-1960's).  An hour later I toddled off to bed and went right to sleep.  

Today I had Bella and Caleb together. That is a whole different kettle of fish.  Twice as hard to keep two satisfied when they both want the same thing.  I told John the solution I see is to simply buy two of everything!  At one point I'd gotten a little frustrated and Bella turned to me with eyes wide and said, "Are you angry?"  and I said truthfully, "Yes, Bella.  I've gotten a little frustrated with you and Caleb arguing over everything."  Do you know she stopped fussing with him right away.  I don't expect it will go that easily next time but there you are.  

Bella was only with me for a few hours.  Her mom came to pick her up and then it was just Caleb and I for the lunch hour.

Henry started eating baby foods yesterday.  He didn't do taste tests.  A full four-ounce jar is where he started, and he ate in record time. He's a very easy-going baby overall, always has a happy smile and even when teething and miserable is pleasant and loving.

One little Caleb story.  Groceries got delivered this morning to the house and Caleb helped me and Taylor carry them in.  One bag was very heavy, laden with lots of bottles of fruit juice and such.  I said "Oof! That bag is heavy."  "You just leave it, Gramma.  I'll help."  And he did.  He managed to push that paper bag of juice bottles across the floor and around into the kitchen.  "We'll just leave it right here.  You can't reach where it goes.  Dad will deal with it when he comes home."  Wait a minute...wasn't he five all morning long?  Where did this young man come from?!

Friday, June 13:

There's a storm brewing outside.   John is gone for the moment.  He was asked to play for a youth camp of some sort and has gone off into unknown territory with a group of strangers and only one person known to him, the minister he leads worship under at the Homeless Outreach.  You can be sure, I'm anxious to hear how it all went.  John doesn't like doing these sorts of new experiences without me along.  

It's been a long day and a wearing week, but it's done.  I put my foot down on Thursday when John told Katie he'd be back on Sunday.  We will see the children tomorrow at Josh's birthday party. I told John no way I was going to Katie's on Sunday and then spending five more days keeping grandkids.  I needed time apart from them.

But that's the back end of the horse, not the front.  

Yesterday went fairly well.  Caleb did his work with some urging.  He was distracted by having Cody and Grampa both in the house.  Yes, John came with me on Thursday.  I'd rather he wasn't there on Thursday but there you are.  He's determined that if I'm going to be gone, then he'll just come with me.  At least when he does come along, I can get a chance for a potty break!

John and Cody distracted each other.   I went about my day with the boys with minimal interruptions.  Cody went to work after lunch.  Taylor hung out with us a bit at her mom's insistence.  Katie took her back home yesterday evening.  

Today was bearable.  Caleb and Bella are just 8 months apart in age.  They fight like children their age generally do.  "He's not sharing!"  "She won't let me play!" when they were just not sharing or allowing the other to play themselves not five minutes before.  But there were pleasant times in the day as well, when they were doing work or crafts.  Katie has done well planning a daily schedule for the children.

The pattern of the day is to eat breakfast and have a quick clearing up of breakfast things.  Then they get dressed.  Henry has a bottle, while I pull the baby's jumper over to the glass door so he can look out at us outside when he's done. Then the middles and I go outdoors.  This is free play time, when they can do as they please.  There is water in the pool and the sand box lid and puddles in the yard from all the rain we've had over the past week and water play is a hot commodity.  

Bella waters all the plants repeatedly.  Caleb stomps in mud puddles.  Heaven forbids, if Bella gets a drop of water on him or she get splattered with mud as she runs past him to the plants.  Never mind that he is playing in water and she is running through mud.

Then we come indoors.  Henry goes into the playpen after I check his diaper and give him hug.  The children do two or three simple work sheets, usually some kind of writing practice.  They get a ten minute or so break to play, but I'm finding a structured game of some sort works well during this play break, and then they craft, and color or paint and then free play indoors until lunch.  Once they are settled at the table, Henry is put in the highchair so he can have his lunch.

After lunch is my favorite part of the day.  Quiet time.  Not that it means much, that word 'quiet' being fairly unknown to those two middles.  Even Henry can be a fairly noisy little fella if he's not asleep and he doesn't sleep a lot during the day anymore.  But I can sit and play with Henry for a bit once the other two are settled for quiet time, and then he goes into the playpen with a bottle and with any luck, he might go to sleep.  Today he did go to sleep, but he got disturbed too many times by others so gave up and chattered to everyone.

On my way home I thought, breathe deeply.  I'm done with four- and five-year-old children until tomorrow's family party.  Ha.  I hurried home to take the children from The Manor to the library Reptile Rescue program.  Got there and gradually the place filled up with parents and kids.  I was sitting towards the very back near the play area.  Isaac was restless so I asked if he'd like to go play quietly.  Soon all these little kids about 4- and 5-year-olds were playing with him.  And because I was the adult at the back, I'd feel a tap on my shoulder, "She's not sharing!"  "He won't let me play!"  I laughed ruefully inside but sorted out squabbles firmly and quietly.  You can bet though I was really happy to get home.  Sometimes, I feel God has a very real sense of humor. 

Saturday, June 14:  I fell asleep quickly last night.  Not a shock nor surprise.  I lazed about this morning.  There is all sort of things to be done but I am still tired from my week.  A leisurely day seems the best.

We got ready to go to Sam's big family party celebrating Josh's and his birthday and Father's Day.  It was a wonderful, easy family gathering.  The house was spotless.  Sam told me that Bess and the kids had done that as a gift to him.  They went above and beyond.  

Sam did his usual culinary wonders.  Burgers for the kids; Steak, baked Potatoes, Grilled zucchini for the adults; a raspberry cake with a Lemon Marshmallow Butter Cream frosting.  Bess made Raspberry Lemonade.  We feasted.  

Josh was happy with his gift.  Family laughed and talked and enjoyed being together.  And then we came home.  I sat down in my chair and went right to sleep.

On the one hand, I wanted to stay home today and do nothing, absolutely nothing.  On the other I wanted to stay home and cook a proper meal from start to finish.  Neither of those things happened.  Instead, I went off to the family party and enjoyed my time there. And we came home and had sandwiches for our supper because my cooking aspirations were done, lol.  

It's been a long week and frustrating financially speaking.  I went to Kroger on Thursday night, and it was a complete fiasco when it came time to check out.  I had to go through customer service and try to get things squared away. When I got home, I found more register mistakes.  I wrote a letter to the corporate office and was contacted by the store manager who basically sent me a 'too bad, so sad' sort of letter rather than "We're sorry your experience was bad, tell us more."  I wasn't looking for compensation but wanted an acknowledgement of the issues I'd faced.  No such luck.

I've been playing phone tag with an agent of a company trying to find out why I've not received an expected check and have been told repeatedly she'd 'send me a text explaining."  No such luck.  Today I received a bill charging me for two months of service, which was cancelled two months ago.  I now know why I haven't received the refund check, but why wasn't the service cancelled?  I went in and signed papers and everything.  

I went into another store and was charged for items I didn't purchase.  No resolution there either.

The auto insurance renewal arrived, and it has increased.  Not a huge amount but enough that we'll need to adjust our budget somewhere. Our income isn't increasing but the bills do.   It is what it is, isn't it?

Sunday, June 15:  I got up with the alarm this morning and got ready for church.  John didn't say anything to me until we were eating breakfast, and I was half dressed for the day.  "I don't think I want to go out today.  I feel a bit dizzy."  I encouraged him to drink some water, as he's prone to dehydrate himself.  I checked his blood sugar which was fine.  We had another homeopathic remedy here that he took a bit of in another glass of water.  

I left him watching tv and went off to clean the bathroom up properly, do a half pedicure, clean up our room.  Then I went outdoors and weeded around Baby Tree.  I might try planting something there under Baby Tree.  He's still small enough that he doesn't suck the ground dry.  I checked the flowers sin the shed bed.  Not one of the seeds sown so far this summer have come up at all.    I do have some lovely rudbeckia that I seeded out last fall and a beautiful echinacea plant from last year.  Oh well.

I planted the oregano and tomato plant that Katie sent home with me on Thursday as well as some more strawberry tops.  The beans, flowers, nor tomatoes I planted ten days ago have come to exactly nothing.  I am down to tossing out all the sunflower seeds a friend gifted me.  I wonder if they will do anything.  The sage, figs, basil and impatiens are all doing very well.  The tomatoes Katie gifted me last month are holding their own.  The very old Heavenly Blue morning glory seeds have germinated and area growing.  

Overall, it's been a very disappointing year for sowing seed. I think from this point forward I will look for some coleus and different perennials to plant into pots.  At least the perennials should come back next year!  

John came to the door to say that online services were starting, so I came indoors and washed off, changed into dry clothes, started a one pan meal for lunch and sat down to watch and make notes.

My one pan meal consisted of dry rice, half a can each of corn and kidney beans, 1 cup of salsa, 1 cup of water, and two chicken breasts.   I used to make something similar years ago for the family.  I could toss it all into a pan, cover with foil, pop it in the oven and then have a sit down for an hour or so to play with baby Kate, talk to the other children, fold laundry, etc.    It turned out really good and we enjoyed it.  

I need to plan meals, all three daily meals and take things out to thaw, do some prep work for those once they are planned.  I have two shirts to mend.  I should lay out clothing for tomorrow morning and set up outfits for the week.  Nothing fancy, not with keeping the children, but I don't dress for baby-sitting as I do for being 'at home'.  

All in all, it was a busy first week of my job as John now calls it.   Next week, I will bring Caleb home with me on Wednesday evening and take him back to Warner Robins on Friday morning.  I'm sure I could use the break from him by then, but we've been promising since school let out that he could come spend the night and it would be convenient to do it this way rather than on a weekend.   I don't even have a free weekend any time soon.   

I am procrastinating on this meal planning.  I really do need to figure it out or I'll regret it deeply come tomorrow and all the weeklong.    I'll talk to you all again next Sunday.

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Just a Waste...Or Was It?

 

I'm going to keep this one brief.  I've had a headache all afternoon long.  We've just finished eating supper.  I opted to put the Ham Pot Pie in the oven and while it was baking, I made a tuna salad luncheon for myself for tomorrow at Kate's.  I prepared tuna salad for John to have if he chooses.  Ours were not the same sort of salads.  Mine has tomato, egg, lettuce and a dab of mayonnaise with lots of black pepper (accidental but I love pepper so not a problem).  His is tuna salad made with apple and pickle relish the way he likes it and we almost always eat it.  I added baby carrots and a cup of guacamole to my salad.  I probably ought to put another cup with it since I know that Taylor likes it and the number of children I shall be 'watching' has doubled since Thursday.   I also grabbed a packet of malted crackers with peanut butter.  If I remember, I'll get a Diet Dr. Pepper out and add that to it all.  I think I'll have plenty of food and nothing (except the guacamole cup) that anyone is likely to beg me to share, lol.

June 7: Summer Diaries

 

I was asked if I'd stop blogging for the next month.  I seriously considered it, but as you all know, at this point in time, I very much enjoy taking time to write/communicate here on these pages.  I was loath to give it up.  I'd decided at some point in sleeping that I'd produce my 'summer diary' format that I've used for at least one month each summer for the past several years.  Instead of writing daily during the week, I will write on the weekend and share my thoughts about the week behind, plans I've made, etc.    It will take something off my plate to not write every day and free up time I can use to have fun with the kids or relax.  

June 6: I Don't Get Paid Enough For This

 

Last night, after I finished writing, I sat here chasing thoughts.  What meals would I prep for next week?  WHEN will I ever get to the grocery?  How will I manage my eating plans in a home not mine?  What sort of lunches could I take with me? 

 No visits to Mama for the next four weeks...Wondering if John realizes that I likely am NOT going to leave home on third Saturday to go to Outreach after spending a week in the city and knowing I've got to go back again on Sunday and every day the following week.  Considering my weekend time and what all I shall likely need to get done on those days at home.  

June 5: You Never Know What a Day Will Bring

 

I'll just jump right in with both feet.  I woke middle of the morning and stayed awake a good two hours.  I finally drifted back off about daybreak and slept until 8:15. Not much extra sleep but enough to see me through the day.  I didn't have hard things to attend to this morning, so it all worked out.

John had an eye appointment this afternoon and we literally were only a matter of a mile or so from Katie's. So, we ran by there to visit with them for a wee bit.  Henry was all happy smiles to see us.  Caleb got plum excited to see us at the door.  Taylor was happy to get to see us again so soon.

June 4: More Rain, More Seeds, More Weeds

 

Last night I glanced at the weather before we headed to bed.  I couldn't believe it.  We'd gone from the promise of a sunny week all week long to one filled with rain and thunderstorms!

Well, the rain today has been lackluster.  It's cloudy, overcast and breezy but about the time I think it's not going to rain after all it sprinkles just enough to be uncomfortably wet.  Then it stops, the sun peeks out and about the time I think it's over, it clouds up again and we repeat the whole process.

I went out first thing this morning with my coffee.  Rufus allowed me to trim a whole four-inch line before he decided he'd had enough of it.  Stinker.  I had a sharper pair of scissors, and it was a lot easier on us both, or so I thought but there you are.  He's terribly impatient about all of this.  How do I know when he's had enough.  He moves two feet away from me and lies down.  If I get up and go to him, he gets up and moves two feet more away.  

June 3: A Mix of Fun and Work

 

I slept late this morning.  No idea why.  I went to bed early last night and slept right away and then I slept a solid eleven hours.  I must have needed it, but I wasn't feeling overly tired.  Just naturally tired.  I'm not complaining.  I'll take sleep over not sleeping any night.

I decided to keep our breakfast simple.  Frozen French Toast came out and went into the toaster oven.

June 2: Go For It

Sam sent out a group text this morning at 6:35 this morning.  He woke me up.  I don't know why he was up so early, but I guess he figured the world was up at that hour as well.  The text was about a family birthday party he's throwing here in mid-June.  I suppose if I'm going to get a text at 6:35am I'd heaps rather it was a happy invitational text and not an emergency/disaster text.

Immediately after I read the text, I rolled over again, planning to go back to sleep.  But it was daylight, and the room was lighter, and I had one of those morning hot flashes you get once your body has awakened.  And then my mind started working overtime, planning my day, and I gave up trying to pretend I'd go back to sleep.  I slipped out to the kitchen and made myself a black cup of coffee.  I try to do that if I'm up especially early so as not to break my fast too soon.  

June 1: Another Lovely Weekend

 

It's been a little cooler in the mornings, in the low 60's.  Rufus, who has stubbornly refused to be trimmed though he is horribly matted all over, has conceded that yes, he does after all need a bit of help.  He's good for about ten minutes and then he snaps at me and runs away.  But in that ten minutes I do my best to try to remove a whole segment of matted hair.  I'm not sure I'll be able to finish him and likely will end having to take him to a groomer, but I'll at least do the most he'll allow before I put us both through the trauma of a vet visit for a rabies shot and then a groomer.  I'm convinced I shall have to pay through my teeth for the grooming.  But in the meantime, I'll do what I can by myself with a trusty pair of scissors.

May 30: Sunshine, Glorious Sun

Let it be known there is a call for rain today and that may well happen, but we woke this morning to the lovely sunlight.  I for one was more than happy to see it.  Truth, I need that daily sunlight dose to stay energetic.  Otherwise, I tend to slip and slide down the hill of despond and linger there until I can get a nice sunny dose.  I've lived in a few homes with dark carpet, dark walls and pitifully small windows that had to be curtained for privacy's sake and let me tell you, I much appreciate the large multiple windows we have in this house.  In the two bedrooms that have single windows one is much longer than the others and the other is much wider than all the others.   

May 29: Rainy, Rainy Day

 

First, I want to thank all of you who did comment.  Please understand that I do not expect you all to comment constantly, but I was curious if the content here was still relevant.  I do realize that blogging in general is not the chosen forum anymore.  Even longtime very popular YouTube vloggers are saying their own numbers are down.  Katie and I were discussing this on Sunday of last week and she mentioned that her generation were more interested in short reels, from Tiktok.  They wanted quick shots of information she said.  And that made me wonder if the day of blogging was done entirely or just dwindling.  It's good to know that you all do enjoy what you're getting here.  So, thank you again for all of the input.  It was helpful.  And yeah, reassuring, lol.

May 28: A Mix of Everything

 

May I ask a personal question of you readers?  Comments have gone down to pretty much zip.  I might get one or two a week these days.  So, I wonder:

Are you too busy to read just now?

Is the material I'm publishing to your taste?

Do you prefer the former format to this freer flowing form?

Am I being relevant to what you want/need to read?

I would so appreciate it if you would reply in the comments section.  

I confess I personally enjoy this means of communicating but I am curious   

May 26: Lovely Weekend

 

We had a lovely long weekend.  It wasn't much of anything, and it was everything at the same time.  Don't you just love a weekend like that?  

Saturday, we stayed home and went nowhere.  I made bread (an oops loaf!) and pizza dough.  I went outdoors to plant the tomatoes which are doing well and parsley and dill which are suffering and transplanted some zinnias which apparently to take a pass on living.  I discovered that four more fig stems had put out new leaves.  And I got soaked to the skin from heat and humidity.  This is where I completely forgot the bread dough.  

May 23: Goodness! Memorial Day Weekend

 

We were watching service at church on Wednesday night and the pastor mentioned Memorial Day weekend service.  "He's gotten mixed up!  It's not Memorial Day this weekend," I told John.  Well, yes, it is.  Memorial Day weekend, our wedding anniversary weekend, the last full weekend of May, and the lead into six weeks of birthdays.  Here we go!

Today, I felt the need to go out alone on my own.  It's been months since I went to Food Depot, the discount grocery.  I had a short list for this store but wanted to check out the discount produce rack.  Today I purchased 5 large green bell peppers for $1.50, Roma tomatoes for $1, parsley 75c and green onions for 75c.  I also got four decent looking firm bananas for 78c from the clearance rack.  I checked out meats in the clearance bin but saw nothing decent.

May 22: Struggle Day

 

I admit it.  I was already tense this morning when I woke up.  It was the day I'd designated as a visit day, and I always struggle more than I want to say on these days.  But before I even left home, I went into something of a tailspin over a completely unrelated thing.

And what was that thing?  A simple request.  Admittedly it might have been stated in a better manner.  Also, admittedly I saw the point of the request, but I did not want to say 'yes'.  I waffled and wavered and said everything but the resounding "No" I wanted to say.  Nor did I say yes.  I really did have to stop several times during this simple conversation and squash my feelings back into the appropriate boxes and reason things out all over again.