Time Out! Stopping and Thinking....
After a week of feeling like this I've done the one thing that really helps me to focus after prayer: I wrote it out in my journal and I've come to a conclusion. I am indeed trapped. I am trapped by the every day, same old routine, nothing has changed in far far too long bit of my life.
I ran over the various areas of my life and I find that I am repeating what I've become accustomed to doing. Not introducing anything new or challenging. And there in lies the big source of my angst. I need to be challenged.
I had more or less begun to grasp this earlier this year, when I jumped into major projects headlong and really pushed to accomplish a number of tasks around the house and yard. I can just about pinpoint where I lost steam as well. That was about June and it wasn't just heat related issues, but family ones, that caused me to lose my footing and come to a complete halt.
This month of course, I am going to be busy enough with the usual added activities that December normally brings, but I am going to definitely be planning ahead for next month and I mean to jump head long into new projects and issue myself a few challenges as well in various homemaking areas. Katie and V have made me think long and hard about trying recipes that are far more challenging than I'm accustomed to try. I know several ladies are joining in baking challenges and trying some really difficult recipes. I think this is partly inspired by the Julie/Julia food blog/book/movie popularized a couple of years ago. I don't want to just limit myself to cooking challenges. There are so many things I wish to accomplish and it does seem to me that now is a great 'some day' time in my life.
As well, I've realized that I am seriously off kilter with my schedule. I seem to have more demands than ever upon my time. I can accomplish four times as much in one quarter the time when I'm alone. I must maximize those alone days and be a far better manager of my time. I do not like to work until I am so weary I can't sit down without dozing off. I am not interested in being chronically busy. I just want to be sure I have things planned out well before I start. I lose long moments of time unintentionally. I spend far too long contemplating a project when I really meant to be working upon it because I didn't stop to think about all the project might entail. So I get stopped, sometimes just as I've started, because I must think out the next two or three steps and then I'm stopped again as I figure out how to conclude. Better to plan it out well before hand and then tackle it with zeal and a solid working plan, I think.
I also need planned rest/quiet time daily and this too is where I've gotten out of balance. I am either full on go go go or I spend an entire day doing nothing but quiet work. I need better balance there, a mix of hard work with quiet work, as well as a time to set aside work and simply relax. It is true that I find the whole business of keeping house/writing/working at home a very difficult thing to cut off. When I worked outside the home, I walked away from my work and drove home...and there was a time each day when I ceased work in the home as well and relaxed. I find now that I am home full time that there never seems to be a point where I cease work. I have a terrible tendency of late to postpone my blogging until 'later' usually around 9-10pm! That is far far too late to start a blog post (and hence the reason why posts are so sadly lacking of late). By the same token, I find that taking time to write first thing in the day means that household work is pushed off until after lunch...And by that time, my energy is lower and I am less likely to tackle a big project. Also a problem for me when I leave home too early and then come home afternoons thinking I should tackle household or blog work. Sigh.
So for this month at least the posts may be slightly fewer for a week or two or three more, but I do promise you I'm not gone. I'm just busy making resolutions about schedules, attempting to keep up with the additional things that come up in December, and planning what I hope to do with this blog come the New Year.