Diary of a Vacationing Homemaker: Week 4

 

Saturday:  I'm officially declaring I've had enough.  The chaos in my home is undoing my peace of mind.  I have decided that I will put all my things BACK into the kitchen that I'd emptied for the renovations we thought were starting at the end of June/first of July.  I have two huge stacks of boxes in my bedroom, there are things meant for the work in various corners of the kitchen.  I'm tired of the mess and the cluttered appearance.  I'm tired of starting to do something in the kitchen only to find that I don't have some necessary item.   I'm over it all. Truly I am.

On the way home from our lunch out today, I broke down in tears and told John I was just weary of worrying about the renovation work.  I want my room back.  I want a functional kitchen once more.  I have no idea when or if this contractor ever plans to do our work.  I have no clue because we've yet to get a single response from him.  

I told him of my fear that I've lost my cabinets and counters, my frustrations with the lack of responses, how if I lost those cabinets and counter tops there would never be a do over because we simply can't afford to lose that sort of money and then spend it all again, etc.  

And then I went on and said all the other things I've thought and told him, "Just let me weep this out..." as I sobbed my way through all of it.  As always, in that sort of moment, John was the quiet voice of reason.  He suggested I tell it all to God just as I'd told it to him.  Which made me laugh because I told him it, I was afraid if I did it might have sounded like the equivalent of Caleb's "Hey You!"

John told me he would buy all new cabinets if necessary.  We just won't pay to have them professionally installed if it comes to that.  He'd ask our son to come help since he's done the same sort of installation in his own home.  And that made me feel better.  Because honestly, one of the things I struggle with the most is the guilt I feel over having something simply because I want it, not because I needed it...and when I think I'm not going to have it I feel very sad and sure that I'll never have it because I never deserved it in the first place.  No one is telling me that.  It's just how I feel, inside myself.  And yes, it heartened me to hear him say that we'd still do the renovation even if it meant repurchasing the cabinets.  

It will all sort itself out and maybe part of that sorting process was addressing my root fears.  I have no control over any of it, except letting fear run rampant and the mess.  So, I'll voice the fear which robs it of power, and I'll fix the mess.  But not right away.  I'm going to make myself take one more vacation week.  I'm still tired.  I feel it in my body and in my head.  I can afford to rest just a little while longer.

I cannot deny I am seeing projects to the left, right and center of my home these days, though.  Things I simply must look into replacing.   Things I need to clean deeply.  Things I just don't want to live with any longer.    

But first...Rest.  

Just a side note here, it's not all stress at the moment as much as the release from a lot of the stress we've experienced.  It's also the unrelenting high temperatures.  We've had rain to break the stress on the yard which has stayed a lovely deep green all summer long.  But that rain doesn't relieve the stress on the body.  

I was watching Dr. Caroline Leaf on Instagram and she was talking with another psychologist about the long-lasting effects of heat on the brain.  The heat actually affects the chemical balances of the brain, especially when one is exposed to it over several days/weeks.  That's why we start to get grumpy and then lethargic.  It's what makes people snippy and irritable.  Goodness can I ever relate to all that!

I'm happy to say we are getting brief days of relief.  A couple of them here and then three or four more hot days and then two more cool days.  The cycle is spinning down already into the next season.  There are golden stars gracing the Sweet Gum.  The grass has slowed in growth.  The water from the well is running colder than it has.  The fall blooming grasses are standing tall and are budded.  And more importantly the sun has shifted away from its previous position and into a new one.  The cooler days are coming.  The end is in sight.  

John and I had a second conversation which was in two parts.  It started at suppertime when John asked what brand of hot dogs we were eating.  It happened to be Ball Park and I mentioned I'd bought them because they were $2 a package rather than the $5 a package that the beef hot dogs now cost.  "So, we're buying groceries based on price again like we did in the early years of our marriage..." he said.  

Later when we were discussing other things, he wandered back around to the subject of the food costs.  And this time he said, "We're buying for quantity rather than quality..." and that just hit me hard when combined with his earlier statement.  I immediately saw the error of my ways.  We'd promised ourselves a few years back that we'd buy groceries based on quality and not quantity.  

I know I looked worried when I told him, "I was trying to stick to my budget, which is higher, but then so are prices.  But now I feel I've been approaching it all wrong.  I do love to get a bargain and I love to feel I've 'won' the grocery game when I purchase something on clearance."    As he pointed out there's no harm in having a budget that we try to stick to, nor in making substitutions for things we used to buy versus what we buy now.   I pointed out that he too was right.  I see now that I have to be just as careful that I am buying quality food at the best price and not just the cheap foods in the greatest volume I can.  It's never as nourishing nor as satisfying and, in the end, we'll find we're overeating and feeling constantly that we are not getting what our body requires.

Lots of food for thought today!

Sunday:  I slept last night.  My secret was something I may or may not have shared but these days I put on a Bible reading audio program and off I go.  If I wake, I might listen for a few minutes but I'm usually soon back to sleep.  It's worked like a dream thus far.  Usually Sunday nights are my worst night because I have set an alarm and I tend to stay awake waiting for that alarm to sound.

Today has been a lesson in "If it could be made frustrating, it will be."  Just one of those silly sorts of days.  We were meant to be setting up a table for the Coffeehouse small group, but they completely changed set up and moved to QR codes.  I don't know how to scan a QR code.  We, and the lady meant to handle the second service sign up time, were puzzled.  We tried to pass out flyers for the group but were discouraged from doing so.  Personally, I think it lacked the personal touch of seeing who runs each group and having a chance to talk with them about what's going on in the group.  A QR code and a name is pretty impersonal in my opinion.   Not that anyone asked for it.

After church we went to pick up our order for Gramma's Fried Chicken.  I wondered why John was taking so long.  You are meant to walk in the front door of the store, to the customer service desk just a few feet away and pick up your deli and bakery orders.  There was no order there.  After waiting fifteen minutes someone from customer service went back to the deli to see if they could determine where our order was.  No, no sign of the order and John was actually asked if he was sure we had an order.  When he told them we did, he was told they couldn't locate it and they apologized but made no move to correct the problem.  He came to the car fuming.

I suggested we drive to another store and just see if they had any chicken up, which the particular store we'd just been at so often does not have.  I've complained about this deli's lack of chicken before to the management, but it apparently means nothing to them.  There are two huge churches and oh so many small churches within a mile of the area, yet they never have chicken on a Sunday, nor much of the time any other time either.  

John insisted I call and complain, which I did only to be told "Oh but we've just found your chicken...If you're still in the parking lot..." and I pointed out that we had no reason to be sitting in the parking lot waiting when we were told fifteen minutes ago that they had no idea what happened to our order.  How silly is that clerk for thinking people were just hanging about waiting in the parking lot when it's hot as blazes?  And no, no one even considered offering John a box of chicken from the deli warming rack because typical of this particular store they had none.

At the other smaller store, I found chicken and plenty to spare. I texted Katie we'd finally found chicken and we were headed home.  

When we got home, I found no preparation made at all for lunch, sigh.  So, the rush was on to finish getting lunch together in order for Taylor eat before they had to leave.  Caleb was a bit fussed and thought it fun to snatch something and run with it, just to have the chase.  I'm afraid my first sight of him today ended in a spanking because of this very thing.  He was running everyone distracted.

Lunch was readied.  We gulped food and off they went.  

After everyone was gone, John fussed and muttered and muttered and fussed because he couldn't get his headphones connected to the tv.  I told him several times what he had to do but because I hadn't seen Katie do it the day before, he was convinced I had no idea how to do it.  Finally, he called her and guess what...Well there's no need to guess, is there? She told him to do exactly what I'd been telling him to do.  Then he was upset because the tv won't just automatically connect to his headphones even though I explained that if he was going to use them on his computer or phone then he'd have to disconnect them from those devices before he can reconnect to the tv.

It's just one of those days, lol.

We both took long, hard naps this afternoon, and then when Katie returned, we got ready to go out for Senior Supper.  We've seriously contemplated quitting this.  Why?  We have absolutely no connection with anyone much in this crowd.  We love the pastor who is a lively and youthful 80-year-old.  But we still feel odd men out.  Others our age are genuinely retired.  They aren't raising a 3-year-old full time as we are at present.  They don't understand the commitment.  They are accustomed to grandchildren who come to visit and go home.  We don't have alternatives for anyone to keep Caleb so we can't just pick up and go to the morning Bible study nor on any outings they might participate in.  As well, I am truly odd one out because I am the only native to the area who attends.  Everyone else has traveled widely from across the US if not around the world.  They are put out and flabbergasted when they ask where I'm from and I say "Right here..."  "Where have you been?"  "Nowhere, really."  Though I attempt to draw them out with questions about their travels, I am soon dismissed.  

Anyway, John enjoys going and so I determined that I'd push myself to meet and greet people I knew, to compliment and attempt to draw out those I don't.  I spoke to easily a dozen people last night.  I knew five of them well enough, but the rest just nodded politely at me and went on to their usual groups of friends.  I don't know what else to do, but just to attempt to be as friendly as possible and try to draw people out to talk about themselves.  

We came home with a lovely sunset ahead of us all the way...and the knowledge that the sun is now setting around 8:30pm.  It's always about this time of year I begin to grieve for summer's passing.  Yes, even while loathing the 99F temps of August, I grieve for the passing of another season.  It's not a hard grief.  We will have extended warmth well into October and generally we have mild winters compared to many of the states north and northwest of us.  But nonetheless, a season deserves to be grieved over I think, even if it's one we've had to endure rather than enjoy as we had hoped.

Monday:  Oh goodness gracious!  How the day has attempted to test me.  I rose at my usual time and took the opportunity of uninterrupted time to pick up our room and tidy our bathroom before exiting the room.  Then I started breakfast prep right away even though it meant lukewarm coffee rather than hot.  I wasn't feeling martyr-ish over it mind you, as it was strictly my choice.  I simply prefer a hot cup of coffee rather than one that isn't, but I have yet to find the way to drink coffee while it's hot and start breakfast prep, too.  For me, drinking coffee is a singular task, not a multi-tasking thing.

While Caleb and I were finishing breakfast John called the contractor and we both nearly hit the floor when he answered his phone.  He told us he'd start about the first of October...then said "But you don't have your countertops yet and you need them..."  Oh sheesh!  WHY has no one mentioned that until now?!   So, we ran to the bedroom where I dug in paperwork looking for my invoices, called the cabinet place and discovered that they don't ship countertops until cabinets are installed and all dimensions confirmed.  I said, "But he says he won't do it without every item already here!"  And their reply was "We're not sending them until dimensions are confirmed.  What if something ends up too short?  Or too long?"  They had a point.  John called the contractor back and we were stunned when he answered the phone a second time.  He explained what the manufacturer said, and he agreed to install cabinets then send dimensions to them.  So, we're scheduled for October.

I went back and finished my now cold coffee.  And I left the bedroom in a HUGE mess because I'd had to empty the closet to get to my file box...I never did find my invoice then.

Caleb and I went out after breakfast.  I fed the pets, we emptied the compost and looked at the big web the Granddaddy long legs spider had built across the second bin.  We picked up the myriad of limbs that were blown from our mature Turkey Foot Oak.   Then we headed to the patio so that Caleb could play.

While Caleb played, I started watering my potted plants on the patio.  They were looking worse for wear but today rather than water just an inch or so I put the hose down and let it run and run and really soak those plants good.  I found I had another baby tomato on my pitiful looking plants.  I had to harvest my bell pepper which had gotten fatter but no taller.  I told John it might well be the only bell pepper I get off that $10 worth of plants...Gardening is not for the super frugal minded.  It is a test, too, not just of skill but of willingness to try different breeds and methods until you hit on a combination that really is a money saver.

I deadheaded some marigolds and took the heads around to the back flower bed to sow into empty spaces in pots there.  I looked over the potato vines which are not blooming but they are growing.  

We stayed outdoors until UPS had come to deliver my monthly Subscribe and Save packages and then we packed up and came back indoors.  It had gotten quite warm by that point.

I went back to clear up the bedroom and found the invoices I'd been looking for.  I'll bet I passed over them six times in my hasty looking to try and find them.  I also found my pressure canner instruction booklet, myriads of other items I'd been missing.  I got them all organized and then put the box back in the closet and then refilled the closet in a much neater fashion.  

I made lunch and frankly by that time I was not in my best form.  Truth, I was worn out by the morning behind me, and I could easily see dozens of things I'd not even touched upon at all.  I told John I'd have felt better if I could have seen visible evidence of the morning of busyness but there was none.  You can't see wet soil in pots or how many times you've taken a child to the potty, nor the inside of the freshly sorted out fridge.  Yes, I did get that done, too.  You can't see the inside of the newly organized closet.  But you can see the sink full of dishes, the boxes that arrived waiting to be unpacked, the dirty laundry in the basket, the cluttered countertops, the wilting plants that didn't get watered yet, and the table waiting to be wiped quite plainly.

However, once lunch was done, so was I.  I came wearily to my chair to rest once I got Caleb settled in for quiet time and there I stayed for a good hour and a half before I decided it was best to go get the kitchen sorted out, those boxes emptied, and all the items put away.

I still feel fairly done but the house does look a bit better just for those few tasks.  Now to figure out tonight's supper.

Tuesday:  I don't have one penny of my grocery budget left...So, what did I do?  I took myself off to the local stores and spent money.

Caleb has started his annual whoopy sort of cough.  It's always the first sign that his allergies are acting up.  He only responds to Allegra for children.   I happened to have a bottle on hand but knowing that he'll spend the next few months taking this daily, I wanted to stock up. I was shocked at the price in Publix the other day and more shocked in the prices at Amazon.  I thought for fun I'd check at Dollar General in town and see if they had it on hand.   

I've also been in need of a replacement rug for the guest bath and another for the front and back doors. 

But I started my day cleaning our bathroom, totting up my checkbook from the weekend and getting myself put together before coming out to make breakfast.

So, Caleb and I went to the dollar store this morning.  We found Allegra for 1/2 the price of Amazon and with $2 off coupons attached to the boxes.  I bought two.  

I found a rug set for the guest bath.  I only wanted the one rug, but I wanted a specific color, and this came as a set with one bathmat and one rug for the toilet.  I do not need a rug at the toilet.  Number one we are potty training and that's just silliness but number two, the guest bath is narrow, and one rug is all that will fit.  I'll donate the toilet mat.  I figured I'd have paid as much for the one rug if I'd looked at any other store anyway.

I indulged my desire for quick dry polishes by picking up some Sally Hansen that was a good price and a just a handful of items.  It all went into a tiny little bag, and I carried out the rug.  It was a ridiculous amount for all that I purchased and hardly seems possible it was so much.  Now isn't that shopping these days?  

I'd promised Caleb we'd 'visit' Bess at work today and he asked three times if we were going to see 'my Bess' as he calls her.  He dearly loves her and the two of them light up each time they see one another.  I didn't think Bess was at work, since I wasn't expecting her to have the family car today, but we found her as soon as we walked into the store.  She was busy with work, but she took a moment to come hug and kiss Caleb.  

Bess has a carrying sort of voice. It's a lovely voice but a little loud and so each time we'd go down an aisle as Caleb heard her speak, he'd tell me "That's my Bess!"

I really wanted to do a spending challenge today at the new local grocery but it's hard to do with a distracting three-year-old chattering away. I plan to do one in the near future because I find it interesting to see how well I might make out at various spots with spending, keeping in mind that many people have only one grocery they can easily access for one reason or another.   

But as I said, I was very distracted.  Instead, I walked up and down aisles looking for specific items and pricing others.  I'd suspected we'd find canned peaches higher with the failure of the southeastern states crops and I wasn't wrong.  I know it's a local store, and prone to be just a little higher than some others might be, but Del Monte sliced peaches were $2.99 a can. Mind you those have been higher than I'd like to pay for a couple of years now, coming in at around $1.89/15-ounce can packed in juice.  I found an IGA brand packed in juice that were going for $1.89 for the same sized can.  I bought four to put on the pantry shelves.  I have a feeling that's going to look like a very good price in the near future, so I'll try to go back and get a few more over the next few weeks.

In the end, I spent about $100 today and I'm not ashamed of any of it.  However, my deep freezer assures me it is full, unless I want to go to the trouble of completely rearranging it again.  So, I will try to stay out of the store for the next couple of weeks unless I see pantry stock-up worthy prices on dry goods.

Today I bought a rack of ribs and a package of ground beef from the meat clearance section.  I also got a package of cubed steak and a family pack of drumsticks.  In the freezer section I found Whiting Fillets and picked up a box of fish sticks for John and Caleb.   Those were my proteins purchased this week.  Katie and I both like fish and I feel we'll happily eat it if we have it on hand, but John is not a fan of fish at all.  Still, it's nice to have an alternative protein on hand.  I bought some frozen vegetables in bulk packages and picked up things like Caleb's milk and Hershey's syrup because he's asked for 'Chockwit' milk the last couple of days.

I let Caleb get out of the buggy and go find Aunt Bess so he could hug and kiss her goodbye.  He went right to her and came right back.  I can see he's getting more mature, and we can allow for a little more independence here and there.  I just wish that maturity would extend to the whole potty-training routine.  He's actually staying dry on outings.  It's when we're home that he just let's things flow, and it matters not one bit if we're on a 2-hour, 1.5 hour or 60-minute cycle.  I keep reminding myself what someone here told me.  You don't see grown men walking down the street with a potty-training issue.   I admit I'm beginning to wonder if I'm not about to introduce the first one...I've gone back to bribery and rewards.

I got too hot this morning while we were out and hadn't had enough hydration.  By the time we got home I was pouring sweat and felt absolutely drained.  And boy did that draining reveal the nasty bottom of my swampy mood. Sometimes, we just have to give ourselves a good dressing down!    I drank some water with lemon and a pinch of salt, before helping John with vacuuming the house and then I made lunch.  Somewhere in there I also put away those groceries I brought home.  And drank a second glass of water.  

Then we had lunch, I prepped supper and got Caleb ready for quiet time.  I texted Amie to let her know Ross's birthday gift was on its way.  He'll be 15 this year...Time has flown!  Amie texted back, "Is this a good time to call?"  

We had a long conversation about the closing on their first home (hurrah!) and the heartaches of parenting adult children.  She and Ben have three children at home still, ranging in age from 17 to 8, but it's those three older children that are the source of their greatest grieving.  I was telling Amie about some of my thoughts when she asked if she might put the phone on speaker so that Ben could hear it, too.  

It was very hot this afternoon.  I'm glad I took Caleb out this morning to the store instead of waiting until later in the day as I'd thought I might.  John is off mowing and I have supper pretty much ready.  I'm keeping it simple tonight and am just serving tacos with the fixings and no sides.  I think we'll get plenty to eat without adding anything extra and it's so hot, I can't believe anyone wants a heavier meal.

Tuesday:  I'm learning to forgo the morning chores and take Caleb out while it's cooler outdoors.  This morning about 9:30. It was about 90F then but there was a small breeze stirring and the humidity was only about 50%.  I'm trying hard to encourage Caleb to go out to play on his own, sticking near the house, of course, but having more independence.    What I find is that if I come indoors even momentarily, he generally will be sitting on the porch just looking out at the yard instead of playing.  I don't fuss, but I do urge him to 'go play' and then I'll slip back indoors for one reason or another and keep my eye on the window to see what he does.  

Today, my tasks were to water the porch plants and to pick up the scattered toys on the front porch.  I could have gone down to the patio to fill my pitcher with water, but I slipped indoors just for the purpose of leaving him alone for a brief moment.  I was happy to find this morning that he'd actually gone down to the patio to play.  I hope that he'll do that more often.  It will help increase his confidence overall.  He is a very cautious sort of child overall.  I suppose it's his anxiety that causes him to feel less than comfortable without an adult about.

As I picked up the toys, I found a huge old black toad under one of them.  I hate toads above all other frogs, I just do.  But I refuse to let Caleb be afraid of the things just because I do.  I wouldn't touch the toad with my bare hands, but I took off my shoe and then gently nudged him to make him jump.   Caleb insisted on calling him a 'turtle' and I don't really blame him.  Sitting all hunched up as he was, he was a particularly fat toad.  He did look more like a turtle than what he was.  I also pointed out an orb weaver with a huge web stretched from one porch post to a chair to the clothesline above.  I didn't get a chance to show him the tiny anole that ran up the old gate behind the ironing board.

Speaking of heat, last night John walked back from Sam's.  When he came in, I was startled because I hadn't heard the mower.  He said he'd run out of gas.  I asked, "Didn't anyone offer you a ride home?"  "Of course, they did!  But I can't act decrepit.  They needed to see me walk home and know that I can..."   I wasn't thinking of him as old, but of how very hot it was!  Men have a funny way of thinking sometimes.

After we finished our supper, we went to town to get a can of gasoline.  John asked if I wanted anything as he went in to pay and I told him I didn't.  He came out with a Hershey with Almonds bar.  I kid you not it was so soft when he put it in my hands that I wondered if he'd bought it already melted.  He told me that he felt it go limp as he stepped out the door with it.  That's just how hot it was outdoors.  I could feel it getting mushy as drove home.  

We drove home to get the mower kids then headed over to Sam's so John could feel the mower.  He literally had one strip to mow to finish up their yard.  I hurried home and took a shower.  My clothes were wet through with sweat.  

I had to clear up the supper dishes after that.  It was 8pm and I was so tempted to just leave them until morning, but I knew if I went on and did them, I'd feel less irritable in the morning.  I so hate having to face yesterday's work before I can start today's work!

I'm sort of making up a casserole based on one I'd seen online.  I'm using the slow cooker to cook mine because it is entirely too hot to even consider turning on the oven.  Right now, it's 93 with a 'feels like' of 101.   I want a pizza but again, not turning on that oven!  I've found a new recipe I'd like to try that is a different Philly Cheesesteak than I've made in the past.  But it will keep.  In the meantime, if this slow cooker meal turns out well, I'll share it with you all.  

I can feel myself getting antsy to be doing things.  It's not that I'm no longer tired, but I'm less weary than I was at the start of this month.  This rest has been beneficial and what I needed.  I'm going to try and take a day or two off each month.   Our weekends are meant to be restful, but too often they are busy although we are relatively child-free.  I mean that we can go out without Caleb but naturally if we're at home, he wants to spend time with us.  However, in our getting out together there is often a sense of haste.  We rush to leave home and then we tend to rush after a couple or three hours to hurry back.  So, while it's restful on the one hand, it's also another form of busyness that doesn't fully lend a sense of having rested.   I'm thinking perhaps I can circumvent that overwhelming weariness I felt prior to August if I take a couple of extra days and really 'work' at resting.  Perhaps a Friday and a Monday once a month, bookending a weekend with quiet activity and permission to relax.  

I don't know if it will work or not, but we shall see.  In the meantime, I plan to be back in full swing come this Monday.  Planning for the week, the month, the week's menus, routine writing, projects, deep cleaning, etc.   I'm ready to be back!

Amazon Associate Affiliate Link:  

Wednesday:  Caleb and I went outdoors earlier this morning.  It was nice at the time.  He went 'down the hill' as he calls it to play in the sand.  I stayed on the porch where it was shady and cool.

I spent most of today writing.  All in all it was a fairly easy day.  I did my own spin of a new to me recipe and it was a big hit with the family.  I cleaned up one small messy area and then I reminded myself I'm on vacation and I quit.

This evening John mowed our grass.  He wanted so much to just come indoors and skip riding Caleb on the mower but Caleb knew he'd missed a ride last night and he was determined to get one tonight.  He also wanted a bath.  I made it a quick one and he was so upset over the shorter mower ride and the short bath.  Poor baby was tired.  He was asleep within five minutes of lying down on his bed.

We watched church and I colored.  It was as peaceful a day as it sounds.

Thursday:  I took coffee on the front porch this morning, but I had to blow off porches and patio to get rid of the debris from yesterday evening's mowing first.  It was not as cool as I'd thought it might be.  While the temperature was low, the humidity was high.

We expected Millie this morning, but we'd had breakfast and cleared up before I finally texted to ask if she was coming.  Sam was sick and stayed home from work.  He asked if he might bring Millie over anyway and I said yes.  I hadn't told Caleb she was coming today because he's so disappointed if she doesn't come for some reason.  

She arrived with a raspy voice.  Allergies seem to be hitting us all hard.  

The children played together more easily after their usual initial "Don't touch it's mine!" and "Caweb!" bout.  John started to intervene, but I reminded him that last week we'd worked ourselves ragged trying to insure they played nicely together and suggested that this week we just let them sort it out as we'd ended doing then.   Sure enough within five minutes they were running about playing together.

Millie asked if I'd polish her nails.  I told her I would and said, "Give me just a minute to finish this up and I'll come do it."  She got impatient and screeched from the bedroom "Gramma!  NAILS!"  I reminded her that while Gramma was happy to do her nails, I could just as easily choose not to do them if her attitude didn't improve.  She was sweet as pie after that.  She's not typically rude nor demanding but I guess she had to try it to see how it worked out.

They requested a pizza party. I made tortilla pizzas for them which Millie ate right up and Caleb sort of ate around.  Potty training today went well with everyone getting themselves onto and off the toilets so that saved my lower back.  

Millie went home after lunch for her usual quiet time in her room and Caleb asked to go to his room.  He came out about 2pm and said he was done, I told him he wasn't, but he could go to his quiet space and stay in the room with us if he'd like.  He did and was very quiet, but he never slept a wink, though I watched him stretch out and yawn more than once.

The afternoon passed quickly once he was up.  I had begun to feel rather weary and decided that if I take nothing else from this vacation, I want to give myself permission to just rest.  No one in this house cares whether I work myself to the bone nor whether I don't.  I am the one who pushes myself and then I get resentful and feeling sorry for myself.  It's a stupid cycle I get into and I'm weary of it.  

I also want to say this: of the all the stages of life I've been through with children the two life achievements I have absolutely no sorrow at being over are potty training and teaching them to drive.  I never expected to be doing this at 65 and if I never ever do this again, that's fine by me.  And no one need ever ask me to teach any of these grandchildren to drive! lol  Just saying.  

I love everything about this age Caleb and Millie are in at present. The imagination, blooming humor, to see their personalities are all lovely things to get to take part in.  But the potty training...Well, not so much!

Tomorrow I am not going to post anything so I'll set this to send out tonight.  We'll be doing our usual Friday tasks of getting the house ready for Shabat evening and the weekend ahead.

That's my last week of vacation.  How was your week?