January from Middle to End

 

January 16:  While I'm not much of one for perfection, I am one to want to do things nicely, even if I am just learning.  On Thursday, I'd played about with a new junk journal, as a practice piece.  It was incredibly sloppy.  It bothered me no end that it looked so messy even if it was meant for practice.  I realized that some things I need to analyze and if I'm not just being perfectionistic, give myself permission to start over, make it nicer...If only to know how I could do better.  

So, this afternoon, I tore down the original work I did and went back through, refining what I'd done, straightening lines, thinking carefully about what I wanted to accomplish with it.   In the end, I have nice, neat pages.  No decorations of any kind but the pages are nicer.  Now I can begin again, perhaps with more inspiration.

While I worked, I dreamed of the workspace I want to create in the guest room...In fact, I'm not calling it a guest room any longer, though it will remain one when needed.  Nor will I call it the children's room, though they all claim it as theirs.   I will refer to it from now on as my workspace.

Based on that, next week I will begin claiming that space as mine. 

I have my great grandmother's old Singer sewing machine in front of that window. If I open the top of the machine and lay a piece of sturdy cardboard (or even my small self-healing cutting mat) over the machine opening, it suffices at present as a desk.  

I'd love to add a pretty rug on the floor, even though it does have carpet.  A cozy chair for reading, a proper worktable for crafting and a comfortable desk chair.  I've always dreamed of the room with bookcases on either side of the window.  Even when it was the girl's room, when we first moved into this home, I 'saw' that window with bookcases either side.  One day I hope to have them.  

Well, we start where we are, use what we have, do what we can...Remember?  Like the junk journal, I'll do my best and when I can do better, I will improve upon it further.

January 17:  Outreach at the Homeless Center today. John has gotten very popular.  John's 'student' showed up guitar in tow and that shy little girl spoke and worked with such confidence this time.  

When John started tuning his guitar a young boy I'd noticed before (about the same age as Grace, the guitar student) sat down in front of John and just watched.  I've seen him before and the last time I saw him he was sitting on the floor watching John closely as he played...

I noted another little boy who immediately started tapping his hands and feet and smiling widely.  

Later, while John was teaching Grace, I looked across the room and there was John surrounded by little children, and the youngest boy from service was right there up front telling John that he wanted to play guitar, too.    Honestly, it was such a sweet sight to me, to see him there surrounded by eager children of all ages.  

Goodness, for all I know John's starting a music ministry for children!

This afternoon when I got home there was a package on my doorstep.  Katie had ordered me a set of alcohol paint markers.  After I'd made lunch, I sat down and spent a happy couple of hours coloring.  The colors are so vibrant and dry quickly, so they don't stain my hands as I work.  It was a lovely gift and one I shall enjoy!

Tomorrow we are picking up Caleb and bringing him home with us to spend the night.  I know I shall hardly get time to breathe while he's here so I'm trying to work ahead and make sure that things are done.

January 18:  This morning, we were up early.  It's seldom light enough to see at 7am, but when I glanced out the window, I decided to open the back door.

What a lovely sight!  Snow was falling heavily and had coated the ground and was resting on the boughs of the cedar trees.  I love the sound of snow falling.  It's such a quiet soothing sort of sound.

I thought our day would proceed as planned but it did not.  John took one look at the snow and determined he'd go nowhere in it.  Mind you we barely got an inch, and I promised him that the weather reports had it ending around 10am, and the temperatures rising with full sunshine by noon.

No, he wasn't going anywhere.  

In the meantime, Katie was pushing me to come and pick up Caleb as planned.  I told her to wait until after lunch.  I knew I stood a better chance of getting an answer from her dad once he sun shone.  This is where I got caught between stubborn won't move and stubborn determined to have things go to plan.  I hate being put in that spot!  I'm afraid it rather put a damper on my morning, but before I could get too caught up the trio from the Manor came over begging the use of my 'hills' to see if they could sled in the yard.  

I don't really have 'hills' and what we do have proved to be unworthy of sledding with so little snow.  Millie made a snowman, a dirtier, messier one than any I've ever seen, but he had his bit of carrot for a nose.  I ended up with cold, red cheeked damp children spreading snow all over the floors.  

I'm not fussing over that.   It was good to see them and see their rosy cheeks and how happy our bit of snow made them.  Katie's were out in the yard, too.  She put photos up on Facebook.  I didn't see Henry in the yard, but I doubt he's got clothes warm enough to go out in.

Anyway, it put a kibosh on our plans overall.  We didn't go to church.  We didn't pick up Caleb.  We're waiting to hear from Katie to see if we can come get him this afternoon.  

I haven't heard a thing from Katie yet, but I did hear from Lily this afternoon.  That girl just moved into her first apartment, sigh.  She reminded me that this coming birthday she'll be 21.  It's an odd feeling to have grandchildren ranging in age from almost 24 to 1...

January 20:  We got Caleb after 4 p.m. Sunday afternoon and barely got back home before dark for all my effort to hurry us along.  John wanted to spoil Caleb with ice cream, something he rarely gets at home.  I knew he absolutely had to have the lactose free kind and that meant stopping at Publix.

Oh, what a shock I got wandering around that store.  Caleb put in a bid for hot dogs, so I looked at them in the store and eventually chose a packet but I nearly gagged...When Oscar Mayer beef hot dogs are hitting nearly $9 a pack...Sheesh. I got a brand I consider a lesser but still decent quality, but they weren't cheap either. Caleb wanted Cheetos instead of fries to go with the hot dogs.  A bag (not the family sized) cost $5.59.  John only wants bakery buns, $5.09 for 6 buns.  I didn't even look at the price of the ice cream when I got to that section because I didn't think I could take it, lol.  I just put it in the cart and went on.  Caleb asked for a frozen toaster pastry for breakfast, and I did glance at that price and tell him, "You know what?  Gramma has Poptarts at home!  Won't that be good?"  Thankfully, he thought it would be, and present Terri thanked past Terri for picking them up when Back to School grocery sales were ongoing.  $1.09 a box beats $7 any day... I was floored at the register when my total rang up but never mind.  I'm just grateful it's been a pantry challenge month.

I got myself and Caleb out of the door.  Obviously, I looked shell-shocked because John asked immediately, "What's wrong?  Did he misbehave?"  'Oh no... it's just prices...'  John held my hand and said, "It's gonna be all right."   Isn't it sad that one is in need of comfort just over grocery shopping?

We had our supper.   Caleb had his ice cream.  He did all the nighttime routine things, crawled into bed and went right to sleep.

Monday morning, John was up about 6 a.m. and Caleb was right there chatting away.  I got out of bed and had my coffee.  I'd promised Caleb we'd go out early, before the sun came fully up to melt the last bits of snow and I needed fortification.  We both dressed warmly and spent an hour outdoors after sunrise.  He was far less interested in snow than he was in riding that old bike we got him from the trash dump a few years ago.  I eventually got him to come indoors and made a hot breakfast and cocoa for us. 

He played indoors and eventually asked to go outdoors again.  He was still dressed warmly so I told him he was welcome to go play and he went out.  There were puddles in the yard from Saturday's rain (prior to our snow) and I did think twice when I sent him out, but I let him go anyway.  

I checked on him later and saw him walking across the yard very carefully carrying an old measuring cup of water from a puddle over to the spot where he was playing.  But I reasoned that as cold as it was, he wasn't splashing about in it.   Honestly, had you seen him walking so slowly across the yard to the dirt where he was playing, being so careful not to spill that cup of water...Well, I hadn't the heart to yell at him.  I watched as he poured it onto the pile of dirt and then turned to go get another cup.  I leaned out the door and said, "Hey Caleb...don't get your shoes wet, okay?"  "Yes ma'am.  I just need it to make my cement."  

He stayed outdoors all alone, never coming to ask if either of us would go out with him, playing contentedly.  The sun was bright as could be.  The air kept getting warmer and warmer.  All the snow was gone by that point.  Caleb was content and happy.  He has come a long way from a little boy who needed the comfort of an adult nearby in the past.  

By lunch time he'd begun to get rather silly.  That's generally a sign that he's tired so I suggested that we'd have some 'quiet time'.  He doesn't mind the 'quiet' part of it but he sure doesn't like the 'time' part, lol.  

When we finally packed up to head home, he was asleep before we'd gotten into our town.  I think he slept a good twenty minutes or so on the 40-minute ride home.   

John and I both felt the house was rather empty after having him here.

Honestly, the time went too fast. 

This morning, I decided I'd had enough of long days of play. I needed a bit of work under my belt, too.  It's been lovely, having time to recover and rest with this cold, and time to play without feeling pressured to work, but I also felt the way I feel when I've not been eating properly.  I needed something with more substance. 

So, I began an inventory of our bathroom.  That's where we have all our cleaning and personal care and medicine and household things (like lightbulbs, batteries, matches) stored.

Things I learned today: if one is going to buy in bulk, it's best to purchase items that won't expire like toothbrushes, toothpaste, lotion, matches, lint rollers, combs and razors rather than things like large quantities of seldom used and odd sizes of batteries.

We should be fine on lightbulbs and toothbrushes for a couple of years.  Combs, too.  And I only hope if we find a need of those batteries, they'll still have a charge!

I took time to start setting up my workspace in the former guest room.  I realized that I could make things a little prettier with ease.  I can hang pictures. I can bring in a pretty container for pens and pencils. I can cover the cardboard piece that is placed over the opening in the sewing machine when the lid is opened.  

Today, I put fresh flowers in place on the 'desk' (aka as antique Singer sewing machine).  The pretty little wood chair from the kitchen sitting area is quite comfortable.  I found a lamp on Amazon that is very well priced that I will order next month, as a birthday gift to myself.  

January 21:  I was awake quite early this morning and when I'd finally resolved that I wouldn't be going back to sleep, I thought I'd get up and sit in the living room.  My hip was aching from stepping up and down on that stepstool yesterday as I worked in the bathroom closet.  I got terrible muscle contractures in my thigh this morning when I stood up and I fell right back into bed, trying not to cry out but doggone it they hurt horribly.

Bless John.  He grabbed a heating pad to wrap the leg and then massaged the muscles that were cramping and when they'd begun to ease, he went and got an electrolyte drink for me to drink.  Then he covered me with his housecoat which is warm and soft and comforting.  I went right off to sleep.

But it occurred to me while he was kneeling by the bed, that he was incredibly kind and patient.  To know that my husband was doing all he could to ease my pain made me realize afresh that this is a rare man.  And yes, I'm sorry to say I do need those reminders!  I was so humbled by his tenderness.  He must have been a very good medic for his patients back in the day.

When I did get up, I'd just made coffee and was about to start oatmeal, when Sam called in a slight panic.  His heat pump stopped working last week.  After thinking it over he determined he would be best served by buying a new unit.

They were meant to come this afternoon to install it, but instead they notified him they were on their way at 8:30.  He asked if we could go up and sit at the house while the work was being done and so I grabbed my cup of just brewed coffee (still black) and off we went to housesit while repairmen did their job.

I made John and I breakfast at Sam's and borrowed some of his creamer to go into my coffee.  

The company was as good as it's word and came right out, arriving just minutes after we did.  They installed the new unit and thermostat in an hour.  John and I were very surprised at how efficient they were.  This is a local company that we've used ourselves for repairs. We know they are good folks to work with, but we've never had a new unit installed by them before.  

When we came home, I started right to work cleaning out the drawers in the kitchen.  I cleaned out the junk drawer which isn't really junky.  I found a bowlful of things to distribute to other areas of the house.  

Then I did an inventory of our medicines in the bathroom cabinets.  I repurposed a smaller storage unit into nothing but bandage and topical ointments and creams.  I didn't have anything expired or too old to use and what we have on hand now seems to be just right as far as quantity goes.  

After lunch today, I sat down in my workspace and got back to work on that little book I'm trying to write.  To be honest, the idea of starting today was very overwhelming but I determined that I either would write it or I won't and if I don't get started once more, I definitely won't write one at all.  

 Now I am off to try and figure out what we shall have for supper tonight.  I've been looking up recipes and tossing around ideas, and nothing appeals...but it did get me inspired to start to work on the book again, so all that dead end thinking about a menu for tonight has not been for naught.

One other thing before I end here.  Yesterday, I was feeling rather desperate all over again about needs and wants vs. lack of money and the need to pay off credit cards for all those car repairs at the end of last year, etc.  An unexpected side effect of working on this inventory and cleaning out drawers and such, even though it was all non-food items, is the restoration of a feeling of ENOUGH once more.    I did not see lack when I was looking at those items.  I saw met future needs.  It made a HUGE difference in my mindset and how I'd been feeling.  And while it might not be a solution everyone wants to try, I do suggest it if you're feeling terribly wanting for any odd thing or other.

So that's my bonus bit for the day!  Go do an inventory and see how much better you feel about things!  

January 24:  I'm sick again.  It started Wednesday evening.  I had a coughing spell when I went into the kitchen Thursday evening to serve our supper.  

When I got up on Thursday, I had a scratchy throat and a nagging cough.  By Friday I had full on head cold with laryngitis and today, I feel pretty rotten.  Oh well.

Quick catch-up: Wednesday night we saw four does in the front yard. When I walked into the kitchen to serve our supper, I surprised a buck on the side of the yard looking right at the kitchen sitting window.  In getting nearer the window we saw four more bucks, all ranging in age from one to four years ranged up and down the driveway.  

Thursday, having heard repeatedly that we were going to have an ice storm, I felt I'd best get to the grocery.  We were out of milk and needed fresh produce.  I thought it over and decided I'd go to Walmart, a place I typically do not go to shop simply because it is out of my usual way.  I'd seen the sales at my usual store and nothing I deemed necessary was on sale. I've been wanting to research prices at Walmart, and I knew how to avoid the impulsive areas.

I found Walmart prices overall were not too bad and came out for $105 which I though reasonable given that I'd meant to spend no more than $100.  I had gotten meat too which I hadn't planned to buy but I found a markdown on boneless skinless breasts for $3.01/pound.

I picked up mail and found, much to my pleasure, that a medical bill I knew was coming in was for far less than I'd thought it would be.  I was very happy over that.

Friday, I barely managed a very slow house blessing.  And here we are today.  I cancelled my planned morning out with the grandchildren and have been sitting in my chair feeling miserable.  

As for the weather, we've no idea what we're in for.  Some models say ice and others say snow and still others say neither and all of them say severe thunderstorms at some point on Sunday... It's all wait and see mode.

January 27:  The head cold is going.  We had neither snow nor ice, nor thunderstorms.  We stayed home on Sunday though, since I was still coughing.  We watched services online.

Yesterday John had a basal cell cancer removed from near his right eye.  I sat in the car, despite the cold outdoors and wrote in my journal (the real one not the art or junk one).  I was rather surprised at the revelations I wrote and came home inspired to write posts for A Fresh Season.  

John let me drive him home.  I felt he'd be more comfortable (questionable in his mind, lol) if I drove and he just relaxed.  He did ask for doughnuts since he had been through the trials, and I stopped and got him a packet of his favorite ones.  

After we got back home, he slept, a lot.  Even though he says that these procedures are not particularly painful, I think the tensions leading up to and in the chair just sort of sap him.  He slept all day after the last removal, as well.

I had a call this morning that necessitated my going into town.  John and I are going to try a new doctor, since our dear old doctor died last year...We'd tried his replacement doc, but it's not the same.  I doubt this doctor will be the same either, but I'm hopeful that he will be the listening sort of doctor, if you know what I mean.  Anyway, we've appointments this week and they asked if I'd pick up new patient packets today and fill them out.  I skipped all the ones written in Spanish...

I ran over to the county seat and bought a pizza for lunch.  I thought John would be pleased, but I think he must have had a different want.  I wish he'd told me what it was...

Anyway, I enjoyed the pizza, and we have a second meal off that medium pizza, so I can't say it wasn't worthwhile.  I picked up mail on my way back into the property and found a bill that was far less than I expected again.  This time it was a credit card bill and the reason it was so much lower was that a payment I'd made had posted after our previous bill dropped.  Y'all...I can pay that particular card off this next month without any struggle at all.  I'd planned to pay far more on it in February and I'll just take the extra and apply it to the next highest bill we have, getting ahead on that one.  

January 30:  Appointments at the new doctor went well.  He's young, probably younger than Sam and possibly Katie, too, but he was sensible and listened and gave good tips about our medication (Thyroid medicine should be taken at least half an hour before the first meal of the day to be effective...Nobody has told us that before!).  I tried hard NOT to focus on the weight number and remember that I'd lost a pants size in the past year, regardless of what the scale says.  

We had lab work done right there at the office.  Most excitingly, this young man intends to stay in the area, he's not ambitious to move on.  He wants to be in a family practice in our county and that pleases me no end.  He didn't rush us through the appointment.  When we left, I felt giddy with relief.  I'm telling you shopping for bathing suits, bras and doctors are stressful things!

I made bread today, not because we needed it but because for the third weekend in a row there is a chance of snow/ice/and extreme cold.  Single digits for windchill temperatures.  We shall likely keep the curtains and shades closed because our windows are drafty.  I've made sure the pets have warm and snug places to be.  I can bake bread anytime with a gas stove.  But cold weather delays it's rising and really makes it difficult to get a good loaf.  

Since I have the children coming tomorrow, I won't write then.  I thought I'd share a few of the things I've done these past two weeks that were frugal.

I made applesauce from a few older, small apples that John deemed not worthy of his attention.  They had a very good flavor, once cooked.  We ate most of the sauce but had a small bit left.  A can of expired pear slices in the cabinet extended that to another two portions and tasted very well.  Not as good as the applesauce alone had but palatable enough.

I've not bought take out except the Pizza for two weeks.  We've eaten from the pantry and freezer.  When I've wanted convenience meals, I've pulled a frozen portion of leftovers from the freezer.  It's given me all the convenience I've wanted and kept money in the bank.

I started an inventory of the pantry and freezer.  I did two shelves today.  I'll do two shelves on Monday and so forth.  Again, I keep finding older items that need to be used.  I shall be planning those into meals over the next few weeks.  So, I'll be extending the Pantry/Freezer challenge only because I know I have older items I should use before burying them under new things.  I will, however, be making purchases this month of pantry basics.  I need to replenish flour.  I'm out of some of my seasonings.  I'm low on other items that we typically keep stocked, not in quantity but use often enough, such as rice wine vinegar and sesame oil, olive oil, etc.  I have a list in my mind...but I need to get down on paper.

This week in planning meals, I've been very strict with myself about using what I have on hand first and pulling something more from the freezer after.  Today I planned weekend meals with leftovers and needed to pull only one item from the freezer.

I pulled a workspace together by simply rearranging furniture and using what I had on hand.  It came together nicely.  Amazing what just changing things around can do. And as I cleaned up the room I found a small lamp that I can use for ambient lighting at present, though it will never do for a reading lamp.  I found pictures in the closet that will be lovely to hang in the room, as well.  For a space I thought would be make-do, it's turning out rather pretty and perfect.  I've worked there several afternoons over the last few weeks.

My sink strainer broke.  I went into Dollar General to get another.  I picked up half and half, birthday cards, more cough drops to replace the ones I've used, trash bags.  Too much, but all necessary items that I needed to replace.  It's cheaper to go into DG and get them than to make a trip into the oh so very tempting grocery store.    Even though I'm aware there is little I need, there's always something extra I want.  Right now, I really do have all I need.

It's been a lovely month, relaxed and easy, despite two colds back-to-back.  I've slept better this month than I have in the longest time.  I don't know if it's the cold temperatures, the colds or just that relaxing meant less racing of the mind and therefore better sleep.  I'm looking forward to what February has to bring.

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