January Journal: The First Half of the Month

January 1:  We are not party people.  We don't purposely stay up on New Year's Eve to see the old year out and the new one in except by accident.   This year wasn't one of those rare events.  I went to bed at 10 p.m. with plans to watch a couple of videos while relaxing in bed.  John came in right behind, crawled into bed and barely got prayers said before falling asleep.  No good night kiss for me...and at midnight when the clock ticked over, I when I woke, I said to the room, "Happy New Year."  Then I put down my phone and went right to sleep.

I woke in a fabulous mood this morning.  That didn't last.  When I came out, I said cheerily "GoodMorningHappyNewYearILoveYouthereI'mthefirsttosayit".  John went "Mmmm." I should have taken my hint right then.  

What put him in such a grim mood?  The same blame thing that makes him grim at least once a month: he went to review our bank account and didn't like the balance.  The same balance we have every month when payday is still two weeks away and I've already told him twice, "No more spending!"   

"We need to stop spending money!"  "Of course, we do.  I've already said so." I said that as cheerfully as I'd greeted him. "You are purposely NOT getting what I'm saying."  "I get exactly what you are saying.  It's the same thing you've been saying once a month for the past 31 years.  And some months you are quite right, we DO need to stop spending, but most months for the past five years all we've done is stay home, use what we have, pay our bills and tell ourselves and each other that we can't spend any more nor plan to have any kind of fun."  At this point I was beyond being cheerful but hanging on to being decent and not argumentative.

Might I add that we had this same sort of conversation exactly one month ago today?   And I'll lay a wager we repeat it in about four weeks... 

Not getting a proper argument from me, he went out on the porch and yelled at the cat who had been clawing the screen on the storm door  I slammed things about the kitchen as I made our special holiday meal and gulped down a lukewarm cup of coffee (gone cold while we fussed) and when he came in with more grumbling, I put on my shoes and went for a walk in the cold and very frosty morning air. 

The morning was still and peaceful and had I not been sniffling after the tiff with my husband, I might have enjoyed it.   Rufus followed dutifully along behind me.  I made my way down the old field road which I discovered John had been dumping cut branches upon.  That really made me mad, probably more than it ought, but that one portion of the old field road is all that remains intact of the track.    We children followed that old road when we went to go play in the fields and creek when we were here on Granny's place.  I was huffing after struggling to go over the branches and downhill at the same time and then I heard something huffing back at me.  

I recognized it as a deer by second huff.  I huffed right back.  That just made the deer mad and he huffed two or three times more at me and stomped his hoof to make doubly sure I understood he considered me an interloper and a threat.  By his fifth snort and stomp, I'd had more than enough. "OH, STOP IT!  Between this place and the roadway, you've got hundreds of acres of field and wood to run in.  Just go away! I won't be bullied by you!"    I heard him crashing through the trees and saw his big rump and back hoofs with white tail up over his back as he took off. Quiet was restored.  I struggled up the hill again.  

I could hear a neighbor's roosters crowing and a Crow cawing in the woods, echoing through the woods.  I thought, "Oh it's so lovely!  It's really going to be a lovely Year!"  Then I walked across the yard and up the steps into the house.

I made myself a second cup of coffee, which I'd planned to drink hot, but the heat was on full force and I'm not talking of the heater nor the coffeepot temperature.  A very real argument ensued with my husband; one I don't care to repeat but suffice it to say that it ended on a less than nice "And a happy blipping New Year to you too!"  A few choicer words and statements followed that.  I've cleaned the language up considerably.   No need of you all knowing how wretched my language can be when provoked... He stomped from the room.  I sat down to write morning pages.  I made a fruit salad to go with our breakfast and when it was ready called him to come eat.

We sat down to eat breakfast in a silence that was not companionable as much as willfully noncommunicative.  But food will soothe, as does a good hot cup of coffee, and a willingness to be peaceable if not peaceful.  

Tiring of the silence, I recanted the long list of blessings we've had over the years in this house.  How we made major repairs and went through crises of financial sorts and were debt free and all the whole history of our financial lives together.  Quietly and calmly, feeling rather astonished at all that we'd done on one small salary and a handful of extra special blessings plus a load of willingness to do what we had to do from our first days right through to the past year.

To which my husband said quietly and evenly, "I don't need YOU to remind me of how blessed we are."  And that my dear was the one small straw that broke this camel woman's back.  I put my hands in the air and said "I'm done.  This conversation is over.   This morning has thoroughly sucked. Let's just agree that we'll start over right here.  Happy New Year, dear."  And wisely, my husband said, "Happy New Year," in a nice way and we called that argument DONE.  

Until next month.  

Our menus for today:

Croque Monsieur Croissant Casserole, Citrus Fruit Salad.  This is not the recipe I followed but is similar.  The recipe called for Gruyere and Swiss.  I had Gouda and Swiss.  I subbed ham pieces I'd put in the freezer after cooking that small portion last month for the deli ham.  This was quite nice. I halved the recipe.  And I did not put powdered sugar on it.  Goodness no!

BBq'd Ribs, Turnip Greens, Black Eyed Peas, Rice, Sweet Potatoes.   This sounds like a tremendous amount of food.  Not true.  Just 1 pint of greens, 1 can of seasoned dried cooked black-eyed peas, about 2/3 cup of rice that was leftover, and the sweet potatoes were tiny little things just oversized fingerling potato size.

What I did this day: Besides argue with man and nature and cook?  I started a new Junk Journal.  I decided to re-use the planner I used in 2025.  I plan to make it a 12-month junk journal.  I have 10 pages per month I can use to journal each month of the year.  

I worked on the cover page inside the planner, and my first page of the year covered the beauty of the morning, the deer and the crows.  

January 2:  I found myself feeling irritable and antsy today.  It's partly to do with the calendar.  No kidding, we came into the month with just two days on the calendar planned.  Yesterday we set a date for our first date of 2026 (and the first we've had in months and months.  After I lost my temper yesterday that was part of the fall-out.  I'm tired of John putting off our little dates!).

By the end of the day today?  Five more days have been filled. A meeting, keeping kids, and another doctor's appointment (this time to remove a second basal cell cancer they found on John at the last check-up).  I began to fill hemmed in by calendars and to sense the month slipping away from me and I didn't like it one bit. 

Oh, and the fifth thing, I can't fuss over: Katie and family will be here for tomorrow for lunch.

We did a serious house blessing today, too.  So, you can add "tired" to my list of feelings.  

But the real issue?  I haven't done a thing creative which is my real angst. I wanted to 'play' and I haven't given myself nearly enough time to play at all!

This evening, I sat down at the computer and did something with my genealogy blog.  I wrote nearly a whole post.  A good start is as good as a finish for me.  I always finish what I've started.  Unless it's cleaning up the patio...

January 3: It was pouring rain this morning.  Not misty rain but pounding rain.  Neither John nor I made it out the door to do those morning walks.  It's looking like it's about to pour all over again now that everyone has gone.

I made pizzas for lunch and a big salad.  I didn't have enough romaine for salads, but lettuce stretches when you add a bit of red cabbage, shredded carrots, diced tomatoes.  The pizzas were cheese and pepperoni.  I doubled up on the dough recipe.  I had three large pizzas out of that dough.  Katie took leftover pizza home, and I set aside pizza for us to have later.  And we have salad leftover as well.  I'm pleased.  It was a relatively inexpensive meal to put together.  The pizzas were under $5, not each, altogether.

Taylor looked over my Christmas junk journal and the beginning of my 2026 junk journal and said, "Oh you inspire me!"  Then she went through my scrapbook papers, cardstock, clipped magazine pictures and found things I didn't even realize I had and took a big pile of things home to create her own journal with.

Henry absolutely utterly ignored me.  He refused to have anything to do with me.  Everyone was chatting and talking or playing.  Henry was playing with the toys Caleb left out.  I was all alone, so I got up and got a bag of chips, opened it up and sat down in my chair.  Next thing I knew, Henry was trying to climb up into my lap, reaching for the bag of chips!  Apparently, I can forgo playful clapping and singing, calling his name, etc.  I just need food.  

Caleb was happy playing with the toys here...I said something later about picking up the toys in the 'guest room.'  He said, "You mean in MY room..."  he corrected me.  He might have moved out more two years ago, but young man still calls this home and that room is HIS.  

January 4:  Last night about 9pm Taylor texted me that she'd finished her first junk journal.  She sent me pictures, too.  She had some layouts that I liked quite a lot.  For a first attempt it was well done and better than my own!

Church today, then we went by the grocery.  I had planned to spend about $20.  Ha.  I was surprised at some of the prices.  It's hard going, I think, when a pint of tomatoes is $6 and a marked down for clearance piece of meat is $45.    That's not why I overspent though.  My mistake was giving in to hunger.  Pure and simple.  I was hungry and feeling a bit peckish, and things looked good, too good, to me.  

I'm not sorry over what I bought. I didn't give in and buy a ton of junk foods.  No, the lure for me was the fancy cheese counter, the marinated olive and I gave in a little too easily on those.  Brussels Sprouts and potatoes and onions hardly qualify for junk food.  Six dozen eggs were what I went in for.  I had a free coupon for 1 dozen, and the other five dozen were a digital coupon deal, limit 5 for $1.49.  Milk, half and half, and other odds and ends we were out of and would miss over the next two weeks went into the basket...Now I'm thinking that perhaps in two weeks we won't need to spend any more.

We ran three more errands, then headed home. I put away groceries and immediately sat down to play with my papers and journals and art book because Taylor had inspired me.  I had a glorious bit of play time!  It was just what I'd needed.   

January 5:  Kept kids for Sam.  They all go back to school tomorrow, but he had to go in for teacher planning day today.  The kids were fine.  I woke at 5am and no kidding this day dragged and dragged.  The kids wanted my attention.  The two younger ones stuck closer than a shadow and I heard "Hey, Gramma..." about ninety-nine thousand times today.  It was wonderful but tiring.  Yes, it felt like a very long day.  

I came home and made coffee and had a slice of fruitcake while I set dinner in motion and then I retreated to my comfy chair.

January 6: Ha.  I went to bed before 8:30 last night and slept like I'd died until nearly 8:30 this morning!  I guess I was more tired than I realized.

This morning, I worked all morning long getting my home set back to rights.  I didn't get a chance to write a word until 2pm this afternoon.  I went to the guest room and sat there for a bit over 2 hours tapping away.  

Our lunch today was quite good.  I reheated the leftover pizza from Saturday's lunch and made salad from the leftovers of the salad I made that day too. I added in the fancy olive and salami mixture, pepperoni, pepperoncini.  It was a charcuterie sort of salad, and it was absolutely delicious.  Good thing since we had just one slice of people.

I came out about 4:30 and made coffee for John and me while I put away dishes.  Then we sat here and had pie(!) at almost 5pm.  Late for a snack, but I've decided to forget the clock and do things my way.  My way today was a piece of pie at 5pm with a lovely cup of coffee.  John went off to play in the music room, I pulled up my other blog and continued to edit and write the post I'd been working on and then I stopped working and just watched the view outside my window.  One of the loveliest sunsets I've had privilege to see this year...

I didn't even get up and start dinner until after 6p.m. which meant we didn't eat until late but neither of us died waiting on that meal to get ready, so I guess it's something I could do now and then.

January 9:  Yesterday we went on our first date for 2026.  And the first in quite a long while besides.  I'd asked John to take me next month to the mountain and out for dinner at the Bulloch House in Warm Springs.  He decided that was the plan for our date this month.

Well, it didn't go to plan.  I'd pointed out the turn to the mountain as we headed towards Warm Springs, but John suggested that was an after-dinner thing.  We went into town and found the town shut down.  No Bulloch House for lunch.  They were closed for winter break and won't open until next week.  The two stores next to the Bulloch House had closed down and were under construction for opening later this year.  We sat on the bench outside and discussed our dinner options.  John and I weren't really thrilled with any of them.  So, we headed home.

No dinner.  No mountain.  

What we did have was a long lovely drive over some historic roadway and back again and lots of conversation.  We picked up Chinese takeout to eat here at home.  It turned out rather lovely even though it was not our plan at all.

Just as well.  What I'd thought might be allergies turned into the beginnings of a head cold within a couple of hours. 

Today I have done a very light house blessing and taken a long nap.  I have easy meals on tap for the weekend.  Let the healing begin.

January 14:  Yes, it has been a while since I sat down to write (or play or work or much of anything else!).   The cold sapped my strength.  Symptoms were mild enough though aggravating.  I don't know of anyone who cares for stuffy noses or hoarse cough. I didn't have any fever much and the aches and pains were slight.  But the energy went right out the door.  

Saturday Sam fixed the leak under our sink which was a huge blessing.  It never did get to be a very bad leak, especially since we stopped using the water line that was leaking, but we've had all sorts of fun trying to get anyone out to fix it.   We'd initially asked people at church for any recommendations but no one had any and talking to various agencies on the phone, we were assured they didn't work in our area.  

So we called the contractor who worked on the kitchen.  He does small jobs such as plumbing, etc., and we thought we'd ask.  We waited two months, and finally gave up waiting around for him to call.  He did call...the day we were in Warner Robins getting John's follow-up appointment done.   He seemed a bit put out that we weren't home.  We felt we had to apologize (! after waiting two months!) but never mind, he offered to come by on that Friday when he ran into town to work on payroll.  Only he didn't come by then.  

So, we waited around the house for two more weeks.  John had his phone off the next day he called and when John returned the call, it was too late.  We waited around more weeks and finally we got another call when we were gone from home again.  This time he got right snarky.

I like the man just fine and appreciate his work but good heaven at that point I'd been waiting on him for three months or so...Did he seriously think we'd stay home the whole while just waiting on him?

Anyway, one leaky water line repaired.   And I now have the pleasure of using warm water to wash my face once more.   Honestly a warm washcloth held over my aching sinuses was heavenly.

On Sunday, I stayed home from church.  I didn't think I was well enough to go around others and certainly not well enough to sit in a meeting in a small room after church.  I puttered around the house trying to get things sort of back into shape.  That had to be done in small bites with long rests between.  

Monday morning it was so cold, too cold to even think of walking.  I felt I ought to walk, since I hadn't walked in four days, but I decided that walking indoors, from one end of the house to the other would be best.  I felt much better, well enough to do housework and actively plan meals for the week.  I even took some writing time that afternoon.

Tuesday, I slipped outdoors when it had warmed up a bit and walked but I found it hard going.  I lost ground for sure this past week.  I am just not up to full strength yet.   I even took a nap this afternoon.  I dropped off to sleep right away, too.  

The other day when I was feeling bad, I pulled a few things from the freezer to make meals this week.  One of them was not what I supposed it to be.  It was one lone thick pork chop that had been in the freezer since last January...Not freezer burned as you'd think it might be, but one pork chop does not a meal make...Or does it?

I decided I could make a stir fry with it at first but this morning, I kept thinking of carnitas and how good that would be.  I put the chop in the slow cooker with a load of spices, jalapeno, onion, and orange.  This evening, I shredded it and seasoned the meat again then ran it under the broiler to crisp.  My goodness that one chop made plenty of meat to make a hefty taco each and it was soooo good! 

January 15:  I've just got off the phone with Katie.  We haven't spoken in 12 days...Neither of us has done much of anything in those 12 days but it is fairly unusual for us to go that long without speaking. 

John and I ran errands today.  Post office, pick up the missionary's mail, get my muddy car washed and get haircuts.  My hair is shorter than I'd wanted but there you are.  It was a new to me stylist today who did my hair.  I'm torn between being terribly glad that it looks better than it did when I went in and sad that the growth I'd managed over the past four months was reduced considerably.  Oh well, hair does grow back.  And its good incentive to make me find the style I want to work towards and keep the image handy, so no such further mistakes are made.

If you wonder why I didn't say anything while in the chair, I'll tell you the truth.  I didn't have on my glasses, and I couldn't see how much was being cut off.  I look so much like my Mama when I'm seeing my blurry image in the mirror that I tend to close my eyes because we look disconcertingly similar when I don't have corrected vision!   So, it's my own fault for not keeping my eyes open and paying attention.

I stayed out of the grocery today and have no plan to go in this weekend.  There aren't any sales that I am being wowed by and I have enough stuff on hand yet that I'm not feeling we need more.  So, I'll roll with my Pantry/Freezer challenge.  I really began this the week prior to Christmas and managed to spend only $87 so far for the last 4 weeks.  I'm not upset about that at all.