Coffee Chat: Caught In A Season
Hello dears. Do come in. There's coffee, iced water, pound cake from the freezer. Do help yourselves and let's have a quick chat. I say 'quick' because I'm afraid if I don't get it written I might never have a chat at all this month.
It's been raining. There have been only brief moments of sun until these past few days, but mostly April has lived up to its name of being a shower-y sort of month. It's made it hard to get out in the yard to do much of anything. I've tried to satisfy my desire to work hard by taking care of things in the house but somehow I've lost heart with all the gray skies and clouds. I try to spend the bulk of my time in the kitchen which is the lightest and brightest room in the house. Janelle, who lives nearby contacted me to ask a question, saying she felt the rain had affected her brain. I know just how she feels. My head feels foggy and cloudy. And though we have had a few brilliantly sunny days with blue clear skies I'm afraid my body was a bit confounded and responded with an allergy attack.
I've had a bit of set back. The Season of Little Frustrations continues, but appears to be running alongside a Healing Season which involves reopening old wounds, scraping them clean and closing them up once more to heal anew. It's hard. I'd rather not do this. Who wants to revisit painful things? I didn't volunteer for it but then who ever volunteers for a season of difficulty? There's a reason for it, of this much I am sure. That I must go through it, I am also sure.
I was taken by surprise to be honest. I had no idea that these issues would resurface. No angst or bitterness of my own brought them up but that of someone else. Nevertheless, right in the middle of the Season of Little Frustrations I ran smack into the brick wall of deep seated pain. So here we are.
There was another healing that took place this weekend when we realized that an old hurt was finished and we'd come out the other side of this long healing with a good report. That was a blessing, to realize we weren't bitter or hurt or unforgiving. We could see the value of the old thing, were glad for the journey it took us upon. I think we will likely move ahead now, and venture out on the next leg of the journey, confident that we are stronger than we were. And I hope that is what comes of the healing time I must go through on my own. That at the end, there is nothing but great gladness that I am healed and I can move ahead with out the weight of the old things.
This is also the Season of Small Kindnesses. Pam sent me a Coke code the other day. She doesn't drink Cokes but someone who visited had brought one along and Pam rescued the cap. Wasn't that sweet? I called with a question about my cell phone bill and though I was fine with one charge, it and several others were removed and the amount reduced. And another kindness came early this week with the offer of a Roku so that we can try it here at home to see if it's a suitable option for us.
So...Here we are.
I was more than a little pleased the other day to take a phone call from the flea market owner. Someone had come in the shop and made an offer on two higher priced pieces I had. I was quite busy at the time. I did have a recall of the price I'd paid for each and my profit margin was still quite high despite the deep discount. I think the store owner was a bit shocked when I said, "Yes, I can do that." I should have made a counter offer, I know this very well, but as I said I was quite busy at that time. Mama was here and a plumber and I was in the middle of some task or other and taking the phone call, too. (Ha! More of my season of little frustrations!). I was rather proud that I could recall what I'd paid for them (and where purchased and when) and could figure the margin so quickly. But I had to hurry off the phone, so no dickering. That sale was more than enough to pay rent this coming month.
I was so pleased that I took my current pocket allowance and went off to the dollar store to look at the options in the line of curtains. I really didn't expect to find anything, I so seldom do. This time, however, there was the perfect shade of blue curtains and in a blackout fabric. I bought four panels, enough for my bedroom windows. They look so pretty with my summer quilt. I was quite pleased. And doubly pleased when I later realized that I was free to take the blue matelasse spread and put it on the guest bed. I've got a whole separate post on those two rooms. Just want to do a bit of refreshing in both rooms. I'm not quite happy with a couple of things and they are fixable.
Now let us drift back to the whole 'room darkening' bit shall we? John does not like pitch darkness at any time. As he's gotten more mature (cough, cough) he's insisted on night lights in strategic places. However, his strategic places grew to a higher number over the last few years. Now I've no objection to a night light. I have an objection to rooms in which I can see the pattern of the curtains at night, and our room has been about that bright. I put up those new blackout curtains and realized they did a most excellent job of blocking the sunlight during the afternoon. So much so that I had to part the curtains and let some light in! This should be very helpful this summer and if I can possibly find enough in a suitable color to do the living room, I shall certainly look to purchase more room darkening panels. I believe those and the new blinds will really help keep the room cooler come full summer.
The side benefit of these dark curtains however has been that thus far I've slept quite well and return to sleep more quickly when I wake. I remembered that when we've gone to the mountains we've had that sort of deep darkness in our bedroom and total silence outdoors and we've slept hard the whole vacation through. John still has enough light in the bathroom and other rooms that if he wakes he can see enough to move about freely, but I've noticed he's slept better too with the darker room. Yesterday morning he slept until almost 8am. For him that is akin to a teen's rising hour!
I've been struggling making up new outfits from my Pinterest boards. I think it's distraction with all the other issues more than lack of items to use. When I'm troubled I tend to be a tiny bit obsessive with one particular thing or another. Sometimes it's reading, sometimes gaming, sometimes Sudoko. This time it's Pinterest. Specifically it's looking for the components I have in my closet, inspiration for outfits. I spent one entire afternoon and evening on that site and got up the next morning and went on right after Bible study. I found some new ideas to use. We'll see if I can't translate them into a few new to me looks.
I did despair a bit early this week, thinking I really needed new clothing and honestly it's not going to happen. I might add a piece or two but I need to really hold off and think hard about any additions that do get made. I did stop at the jewelry counter at Target and pick up a card with silver hoops. I've had two pairs of Sterling hoops in the past two years and one of each set have a broken post. I've returned to the nickle free, inexpensive ones at present, which will do.
I also have a new summer hairstyle which is quite short. I'd shown John the inspiration photo so he was mentally prepared for me to come home with it this short. He's said nothing. I haven't asked if he liked it either. One of those 'least said soonest mended' and 'don't ask if you don't want to hear the answer' sorts of things.
This week has been a bit of a waste really. John took off one day which put him home longer than usual. No problems with that but I've pointed out before that he tends to generate this 'holiday' sort of feel when he takes off an extra day...and that bleeds over to me. I am less inclined to get busy in the mornings but instead find myself lolling about in my nightclothes, sipping coffee as I peruse Pinterest and Facebook. Yeah. Granted the miserable weather on Monday certainly did not promote productivity and Tuesday I was under the illusion that John had made plans for the day, so I didn't start any work or lunch and then discovered at about meal time that indeed he'd made no plans at all. At which point he decided he ought to make plans and off we went after lunch returning just in time for supper. No, not a productive week. Sadly it is a week in which I really needed to be productive.
I attempted to mend my ways. I was still a slow starter most mornings but one day I went outdoors and got a bit more landscaping done, and cleaned the two porches after John mowed the yard. I cleaned the house, too. I was so tired when John came in from mowing that I couldn't do much of anything except put our simple meal on the table. But after a couple of hours rest, I felt revived and got a little more work done. I tagged items for the booth, too. It's a festival weekend in town. I likely won't go since we've got family coming in this weekend.
I went into town one morning and got the aforesaid haircut and worked on my booth. I came home and did some housework and got the guest room spic and span. It was a trying sort of day. John and I were at odds and we rubbed one another the wrong way too often. I think perhaps we were both just a little stressed over company coming for the weekend.
Last weekend we attended a birthday party for John's partner, one of those milestone birthdays. It was a sort of family dinner. I thought the menu was especially nice, as it wasn't fancy but something that the birthday guy's mom used to make often for family meals. Her family meals often involved a lot of sundry other people like John and whomever was working with the brothers that day and so fort.
I was sitting with a woman who looks ordinary enough but this little woman has her own ministry at work. I was reminded yet again that what looks ordinary to us on the outside is almost always hiding something extraordinary on the inside. As I listened to her talk and heard what she is devoting herself to at present, I was fascinated. She's not a young woman but she's not letting it stop her. She walked The Trail of Tears and went to Israel. Currently her mission is to visit every county in our state and spend time on the courthouse lawn praying. I am always in awe of these ordinary folks who are doing something remarkable.
Well, I knew it would be a short visit and I am sorry for it. It can't be helped this time around. I won't promise to do better in May either. We've a few days away that I'm looking forward to, and an extra early first birthday party for our youngest grandson before he moves to Florida with his mommy and daddy and then there's the birth of Katie's first coming up next month, as well. It's bound to be a busy month as you can see. So forgive me if chats are short next month and posts overall. It can't be helped, not a bit, but perhaps in June things will settle down nicely once more.
Talk to you later!
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