Hello dears. You might want to come on in. Everything is green...with pollen! Oaks and cedars and hawthorn, peaches, turkey foot oaks and more are all blooming. It's definitely pollen season. But more than that is the wind! Hear it roar!
I'm afraid that both Millie and Caleb are suffering with it. We adults are managing well enough, but the two babies can't breathe for stuffy noses and poor Caleb has a cough that would startle a deaf man. The children have the same allergy meds we do but apparently the dosages aren't sufficient to curb their symptoms.
I went out the other morning to weed the flower bed in front of the back porch (and a half dozen other tasks I saw that needed to be done) and the porch railing was gritty under my hand. I knew then that I'd been wise to wait to shower until after I'd been outdoors working.
I started outdoors to weed, but I carried the compost out to the bucket behind the shed, then pulled my old gardening wagon to a pile of limbs I'd managed to stack up in late January or early February. I recall I was sick during the time, but equally as sick of being indoors. The removal task was beyond me, but stacking was easy enough, though it winded me badly. However, it was a task that needed to be properly finished at last and so today it was done.
Then I walked along the flower bed in front of the back porch and pulled most of the weeds. I couldn't help but contrast how much easier that bed is to weed than the one that runs from the back porch to the patio and sits catty corner to both. The reason is clearly weed mat, which I shall take time to lay down this year, and then mulch. I'll leave Maddie's summer 'hole' mulch and cloth free just to save us both the aggravation of her tearing it up.
The other established beds will be as easy to weed, except perhaps the one under the Sweet Gum tree. I'd left pockets to plant flower bulbs and rhizomes among the roots, but cedar and privet and a thorny vine Granny always called Bamboo but isn't grow all too well in that area. I should find it easy to guesstimate that I'll pull out a hundred or more new starts of both privet and cedar when I weed that area. It would be well worthwhile to put down weed mat in that bed as well and just leave little pockets bare here and there for flower bulbs.
I realized as I worked today that I am beyond the point where I can do just loads of work outdoors. It is a good thing overall that I've come to rely heavily on planters and pots and not on digging deeply to plant things. As I contemplated this, I began to look at other things I see which I must do.
I thought about this house, the graveyard and the house in town, all must have work done. I looked hard and realistically at all my someday plans and I realized that I'm at my limit. I cannot do more. I can maintain what I've got, if I go slowly, and perhaps add one or two small areas as money permits.
The fact of that thinking was one thing. The fallout came this afternoon when I sat down with John and wept. Mind you all, I was more than tired at that point because I did far more than the weeding tasks I did outdoors. I had come into the house and worked myself entirely too hard after the amount of work already done and the tears were the price I paid. I know too well not to look at 'facts', however true, when I am that weary but there you are.
It's just one more thing to let go of as I enter this season of life. So shall it be.
I was recalling this morning, as I sat about early in the dark alone, of Grandmother and Granny both who kept us three for a time. I suppose they were both in their mid-forties, nowhere near their fifties yet. It occurred to me that by the time they'd reached their sixties keeping us wasn't even in question. We were all teens at that point. I realized that I'm doing something much later in life than Grandmother or Granny ever did in keeping a two-year-old at my age! Granted, I'm not old, but I do feel rather worn down at the end of a few hours with these younger grandchildren.
Then I thought of Amie's children. Josie will be 20 in June, and Lily will be 16 in April. Ross will be 14. Jd's oldest son Daniel will be 13. By the time my grandmothers were my age, indeed, the children were all quite old enough to see to themselves and needed only slight supervision. While I have a few teen grandchildren, it's the last three that I see and keep on occasion who are a handful. Josh can sort of help himself and will willingly do so, but Isaac still needs supervision. Millie and Caleb are only two. And here I'd been thinking all along what a poor case I was for a grandmother for feeling so weary! No, it's time to let that false notion go and consider myself as doing well enough when called upon.
I was ready to refresh my old kitchen island a couple of weeks ago. I've never liked the island. Truth told, it's one more of those things that I'd mentioned to Mama I'd someday like to have. I'd even shopped with her at a few places looking for what I wanted. I'd decided at that time that I wanted one large enough to serve as added workspace because I'd had a table/island thing (now the desk in my kitchen with cut down legs) that wasn't really large enough. Mama argued and argued with me over the size of the islands I was looking at. Then, as things will happen, John and I had some emergency repair or medical something or whatever financial thing comes along just as you have money to do something, and the money for the island went to that. I didn't have funds to purchase the island I'd wanted after all. I made up my mind I'd wait.
In her usual impulsive way, Mama decided I had to have it now and so she ordered it and then told me what she'd done after. Of course, she'd ordered exactly what I didn't want and what she was certain was the only suitable size. Mama's funny like that. I don't deny her generosity. I just wish she wasn't so insistent on having her way about things that have nothing to do with her at all!
Well, I made the best of it. I used that little island and it worked hard for about 20 years or so. It was never quite large enough to serve my purpose, but I made do. And I was going to go on making do because I'd already made up my mind that I could refresh it. It fell to pieces as I moved it outdoors to paint. At first, I wasn't too bothered about it. I just figured it would be easier to paint and would look nicer once I put it back together. Then John came out and took one look at it and said, "You're wasting your time." "But..." "But you've never liked the thing anyway and it's fallen to pieces. Yes, we can put it back together again, if we can find the right pieces, but how much longer will it last? It's time to let go of the things your Mama gave you that you've kept because she insisted it was what you ought to have. Come on inside with me."
Once inside, I found him at his computer looking for new kitchen islands. "What size do you want?" "Larger than I've had all these years." We took the tape measure and laid out a grid on the kitchen floor so we could see exactly how the new island would fit. We made sure it had casters, so we can still roll it out of the way when the children are half crazed from being indoors and need running space, or we need to put up an extra table for the children when all the family is here. I'll have double the storage and twice the countertop.
John also convinced me to give up that waffle iron that was taking up space in my cabinets, largely unused because again, it wasn't what I'd wanted but what I was given. I ordered and got the most highly recommended Presto Belgian waffle maker. The old waffle maker? I'll use my county's 'Free' dump. It's where you have something that you don't want to bother having to drive to a donation point but is perfectly good. You set it outside a dumpster with a large note pinned on saying it works and please take it. And people do! I can't wait to try the new waffle iron this next week!
I was so excited when the island arrived last week. It's not put together yet, but we'll get to it soon, now that John's feeling better. Last Saturday I ordered new rugs for the kitchen. The chairs in the kitchen sitting area just slip and slide on the tile floor. It's an unpleasant sensation to start to sit down or go to get up and find the chair sliding out from under you! I try to have a matching rug for that space in front of the sink. I know a rug in the kitchen, especially at stove or sink is counterintuitive. It catches every spill and needs to be cleaned often, but my kitchen is full of hard surfaces. It's incredibly noisy. The rugs and the full drapes at the windows at the end of the room soften and deaden sound.
How on earth are we paying for all this? John's paid for the island. I've paid for the rugs with money saved from last Christmas and last year's birthday.
I cleared out the upper cabinet that is on the wall shared with the dining room on Monday. It was quite the task to shift all that stuff over to the baking area and rearrange everything so that it fit but I did it! I told John I was making an effort to make that first stage kitchen makeover. I might be years getting to the rest of it but I'm going to do my level best to get those upper cabinets emptied and removed. By the way, that's the day I sat down and cried in the afternoon. Weeding, yard work, routine housework, cleaning and combining cabinet contents...No wonder I felt rather weary!
I hope to get an upright freezer. I plan to put it on the wall where my desk is currently right at the end of the counters. I have already made plans to move the desk to an empty space in my bedroom. I've priced freezers and planned the cubic feet. If I come across an especially good deal, I plan to jump right on it! I'll sell my chest freezer. I am just finding it far too hard to lift out those heavy baskets of food in the deep chest and while I could take out each piece individually, it's an awfully tedious task. As well, I'm on the shorter side. I can stand on my head in that freezer! If ever I fell in, I've no idea how I'd get out, lol. I think, in planning ahead mode, that an upright freezer will be a better thing for my latter years. I'm not in them yet, but I am more and more looking ahead and trying to be reasonable about what compromises can be made without losing independence. One more relinquishment.
Well, no immediate purchase just yet of an upright freezer. But I thought perhaps I might move the little cabinet over into that space where the freezer will eventually go. I hope it will give me a feeling for what the kitchen will be in the future. If I was really smart, I'd move all the dishes and glasses into that cabinet. Then we could be well and truly done with ALL the upper cabinets. It would be a phase one part one remodel! Hmmm...the wheels are turning!
Is it spring? That makes me so desirous of refreshing my home? Or is it that as I am completely satisfied with some areas, I now want to start the next? I love my current living room, dining room and bedroom. Yes, there are one or two things I want to improve or change but overall, I'm quite happy with the way those areas have come together. Any changes I make in those will be minor ones. Now I want my kitchen to feel like my dream kitchen, or as near it as I can get at present.
Goodness gracious! I braved the wind outdoors to feed the pets, rescue the bird feeder that blew down and cut a few grape hyacinth and iris to bring indoors. The lovely delicate scent of the flowers was so nice. That's something I've noticed is largely missing from purchased flowers. The aroma of an old-fashioned flower is lovely.
Do you know that if you read through heirloom seed catalogs one of the things mentioned most often in flower seed descriptions is the scent? People coveted the aroma of flowers and plants. Remember Laura Ingalls Wilder and her love of Lemon Verbena? In my childhood, I was fortunate that Granny had a lot of flowers in her yard that were pass-along plants, given to her by those with established gardens. She had all sorts of flowers from late winter into fall. They smelled so lovely! Granny was a big believer in keeping a small bouquet in the house. She was seldom without something in a vase as long as she had flowers. She used to give me bouquets to bring home, much to my parents' dismay. Mama hated cut flowers and Daddy said they made his sinuses ache.
Well, I was talking about my braving this blustery March day. That wind is cold and fierce. I decided I'd best wrap my poinsettia and Christmas cactus to keep them from freezing tonight and as I said I cut the few iris in bloom and gathered some of the grape hyacinth. I looked in vain for even one daffodil which are up but not blooming. The wind was so fierce that not only did I have a hard time facing into it to get to the bird feeder but at one point it blew my jacket and shirt right over the top of my head as I bent to clip an iris. Goodness! This is the first bit of March wind we've had this year and I think it's trying to make up for lost time.
I suppose I shouldn't keep you much longer. It is Saturday after all and not my usual day for a chat, but I just wanted to have a little company today.
9 comments:
Self-examination is a good thing and sometimes helps us to not be so hard on ourselves. My grandchildren are all grown now, so I don't have to help with them anymore (although I did my share of that in my 40's and early 50's). My duties now are to care for two elderly relatives, my mom and aunt(on my dad's side), and so my "retirement" looks different than I expected. Both of these ladies paid their dues caring for their own elderly mothers in their last years, but I did the same analysis that you did of your grandmothers, and realized that their caregiving duties concluded when they were 56 and 58. Here I am 66, and my responsibilities are still going strong. I mentioned earlier that I am an only child, and I am also an only niece (my aunt never married or had children), so this all falls on me. I don't resent helping, but I do mourn my retirement sometimes and wonder if I will be able to do some of the things that I always thought I would do after my working years ended.
I also meant to mention that you stirred up a distant memory when you spoke of your granny sending cut flowers home with you. My paternal grandmother had an astonishing array of dahlias. She diligently tended and staked them, and dutifully dug the bulbs up each fall to replant the following spring. They were very pretty, and she sent dahlias home with me almost every time I visited her in the summers until she was too old to work them.
I do agree with Miss Carol...self-examination is a good (and necessary) thing. Women can be their own worst enemies by not giving themselves more credit for all they do and not taking a long, deep breath to slow down before melting down. Not saying you were having a meltdown but I fully understand. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with unfinished tasks and a huge list that hasn't even been started. The sun has been shining beautifully but is sure putting my housekeeping (or lack thereof) to shame. Good thing today was the Sabbath.
Cut flowers in a pretty container are such a joy. The last ones I purchased were from Trader Joe's and they lasted almost two weeks. Before long there should be some to cut from our own gardens. Gifted plants have special meaning.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend. I so enjoy our visits.
Have your grandchildren tried Claritin? My daughter started taking at at 2 when in was prescription only. It was a miracle for her.
And speaking of workloads for those of us no longer young, husband and I sort of evolved a routine that works for us. I'm 73 and he's 79, we have not the energy or strength of just a few years ago. We now do just about all appointments, errands and house/yard chores before noon, then lunch, then our work day is over. We hit our favorite chairs and read or play on our tablets, very often a nap.
Unless it's vitally important, there is no afternoon work (dinner, later, of course). There is very little that can't wait another day.
I have been thinking that an upright freezer would be so much easier, too. It would, unfortunately, at least partially cover the window in our laundry room, which is where the current chest freezer is. Still, someday it might be the choice I make for the same reason - ease of use!
I think we've talked about this before in regards to our grandmothers. Mine always gave me the first bouquet of her lilacs every spring. She and I shared a love of fresh flowers and oh, how I miss those lilacs!
Hi Terri,
I think you’ll like the upright freezer instead of a chest freezer. I do like my upright freezer; however, I’ve found just as much gets lost in it as a chest freezer. I end up pulling things off of a shelf to get to something at the back of the shelf. I’ve found it very helpful to have baskets or cardboard boxes, which work perfectly fine, to hold similar items. That way I can just pull the box out and sort through it. I’ve tried really hard to maintain the built in baskets for like items as well, but sometimes … As a result, the best defense is an up-to-date inventory so I at least know what’s in there! That’s a task I must do! The good news is, when I go through everything and get my inventory up-to-date, I always end up with more room in the freezer because I put things back in such a tidy manner LOL! Take care.
It's Monday morning after the time change, and was difficult to get out of bed when the alarm went off. I just wanted to offer my support - and remind you to give yourself some grace. You are one of the hardest working people I know.
It is overwhelming to me sometimes to list all of the tasks I'd like to complete - in the house, in the yard, in the garage, in the shop - but I remind myself of that old adage about eating an elephant one bite at a time. Yesterday I made a to-do list and kept it open on my computer. As I think of things, I add it to the list. I will prioritize and choose what I feel like I want and can do. No one will judge me (not even myself) for what doesn't get accomplished this week from that list. Rather, I'll celebrate what does get crossed off.
As for freezers, I'm a huge fan of the uprights. I cannot reach the bottom of a chest freezer without risk of life and limb. We purchased our first upright many years ago, and got a second one last summer from an estate sale down the street. It's an off brand, but works great and was only $35. Ours are in the garage. One is the beef freezer, the other is pork/chicken/fish. Since we started buying half a beef each year, and a whole hog, we need that much freezer space.
I do have wire baskets and see-through containers to keep things corralled, and that helps Greg keep it neat as well.
I'm due to take inventory - maybe today since it will be cool enough to have the door open awhile, but warm enough I won't freeze my hiney being in the garage for a bit.
Carol, Thank you for sharing your honest feelings about your experiences. I absolutely understand your gratitude for being able to do what you can and your grieving for what you thought you might expect from this season. I know there are others who read here who can appreciate what you're saying as well.
I'm so glad that I helped revive a memory from your childhood. Those flower bouquets from Granny did my soul a world of good for many years.
Donna, I think meltdown is pretty much a good description, lol. There are just degrees of how BIG a meltdown is, lol. But I did need to do that self-examination. I am analytical by nature (due to childhood issues) but I've eased up in my sixties and sometimes, I just need to stop and do a little self-analysis to get a clearer vision of things.
Kathy, yes, they are both using Claritin. I think Katie was going to see if perhaps Zyrtec would be a help for Caleb if it comes in a children's formula. I take a knock off Zyrtec myself after years of Chlor-Trimaton (sp?) and I do find it very helpful.
Anne, You just described mine and John's fifties, lol.
Deanna, I would be reluctant to cut off the light from a window as well but I'm fortunate that I have plenty of room to put an upright freezer where it won't block a window.
I have never seen Lilacs...I read of them and Amie shared that she has them in her area up north, but they don't do well here in our climate.
Casey I use large baskets to corral like goods in my freezer now. I plan to use the same method when I get an upright. But even so, like you when I take it all out and put it all in order once again there's always room to spare!
Tammy I'm not against a used upright freezer if I can find one. John's thing with new is that he can pay a store to deliver it where the other requires asking someone to haul it for us. I've suggested we could RENT a truck or trailer to get things home but my word at the fuss that creates. Please explain to me why paying rental on a truck or trailer is more expensive in his mind than paying a store $80 or more for delivery. Guys!
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