This Week In My Home: Blow and Blow

 

In my home this week, I've just finished off a 3-day week with Caleb, and a whole day with the three from across the field as my last day of the week.  Of the four days spent with children, it was easier to keep the three children.  Namely because they were all well and didn't feel poorly as Caleb did.  Caleb is a dear sweet child and good natured as any of them but when he feels bad, he grizzles and fusses and cries at the drop of a hat...You might say rightly that he sounds a good bit like his Gramma!

I was so weary Friday, and it did seem that things sort of just came to a head towards the end of the day.  John was...out of sorts I suppose.  I'd say sullen but that isn't quite right and yet it's not entirely wrong either.  I soothed him repeatedly and soothed Caleb repeatedly and by end of the day I was ready to just have a short period of alone time.  That wasn't forthcoming so I did the next best thing and snipped and snapped at anyone who dared look at me.  I know my limits and I did state that I needed a bit of time alone but as I said, it didn't happen.

So, I kept pushing through to get the house cleared up before Shabat.  We took off trash, picked up mail, had words with one another, I made a short and snappy phone call to Katie over what is a minor matter but an irritation to John and upset her, brooded over it all after, then tuned up and cried.  John fussed about the tears, and we rode in silence thereafter.  I came back indoors and set up for Shabat and went off to the bedroom for five minutes and came out more composed than not. 

Do you know what my undoing was?   The last two or three Shabats, John has gone to our front door just before we start, opened it and said, "Come in, Lord..." Well, that was it for me last night.  He walked to the front door and opened it and before he could shut it, I openly wept as I sat there and felt ashamed that I was in the mood I was in for Shabat.  I asked myself, "What's the point of having the house Shabat ready if my heart isn't Shabat ready?  How can I ask the Lord to join us for Shabat when my emotions are a mess and my heart full of things I should have laid to rest before this moment arrived?"  It was a very humbling moment.  I was useless for prayer last night, but it was a cathartic moment, as only a good spiritual shake-up can be.  

The wind has roared outdoors for the past two days.  Between wind and noses...Blow!

Work:  

I no longer know what I did this month and what I meant to do.  So, I'm just going to pretend I got it all done (I didn't) and move on because I'm tired enough to be befuddled and I want to get this post done.

This week should be Zone 4, which is porches, patio, and shed.  Pollen is pouring down.  Trees are blooming and the wind has been roaring and the sun shining so pollen is everywhere.  There's honestly little point in thinking I might do much to any porch or patio.  I do have a load of stuff to go into the shed.  I'll take it out of the guest room and put it away properly in the shed.

I still have plants on the windowsill that I'd rooted over winter that really need soil.  I still haven't bought any soil.  I'll check the shed for possible pots and dig in some of the outdoor pots I know haven't got perennials in them for soil and get those few plants in soil.

Its end of the month and end of the money here, so I'm not going to list off things that require a purchase in order to get done. What I can do is clean and plan.  There's one spot in nearly every room that is bugging me or that needs cleaning.  Dusting, mopping, sorting.  That list I keep saying I'm going to make but never get around to can be made out.  Often enough, I find that somehow or another I either find something I already own will work or I find I can do something that at least keeps me on the path to getting something done.  I emptied kitchen cabinets and now the upper cabinets are coming off the wall.  I'd like a new look on my kitchen counters.  I know there are storage areas I seldom to never delve into.  There's a world of things I can do that requires no expense of anything except energy.  Those are the tasks I'll focus on this week.

Kitchen:

I said there's no money left in the budget...but Kroger has an unbelievably good sale on sugar this week and I am going to take a portion of my allowance and go buy the sugar.  It will be worthwhile to get that stocked.  I made out large grocery lists this week of sales items that seemed a good buy even though I knew I was out of grocery money.  I have emptied those lists entirely.  I'll buy what I can say with assurance is the best buy, the little that is too good to pass up on.  Sugar is cheaper at Kroger than I've ever seen it at Aldi.  

Second, I'm going to go through pantry lists and try to make a plan of attack to replenish the low areas in April.  

Third, I'm going to remind myself that in all the years I've lived, no matter how difficult the times nor how slim the grocery budget or how tiny the grocery list, I have never ever starved.  I keep hearing all sorts of scary things. I get nervous.  I get anxious.  But each time I've gone into the grocery I've found we manage to find more than enough to meet our needs.  I'm going to pep talk myself until I'm blue in the face.  I will not panic.  I will not overspend.  I will manage perfectly well.  I know how to adapt!  There.  That's a good start on pep talk, don't you think?

Even though I did a pantry/freezer inventory in the recent past (February), I'm not sure I've done very well at keeping it up to date with what I've used nor added.  I feel that in this season I need to be fully aware of what I have to keep my anxiety at bay.  

I made out a list earlier in March of things that would be nice to have in the freezer as easy to thaw and heat meals.  I made quite a few entrees early last week.  But do you know that I had other items on my list that I never even thought about, like Sloppy Joes and Taco Meat?  I can make those now using what I have on hand.

Meals:

Steak, Scalloped Potatoes, Roasted Brussels Sprouts The children asked for and got cereal.  The ate well all day long and I wasn't going to waste good food on plates that would be poked and prodded and then tossed to the dogs.  I have leftover steak.  I used a box of dehydrated potato mix.  In future, I'll save dehydrated potatoes for longer term storage meals.  Now I know we like them I'll be happy to purchase them occasionally.  But for everyday eating, we'll eat the real potatoes that we have on hand.

Chicken, Broccoli, Rice Casserole, Salad

Sloppy Joes, Chips, Slaw

Fried Chicken, Potato Salad, Collard Greens

Beef Pot Pie, Pear Salad

Spaghetti a la Diablo, Green Beans, Rolls

Steak Salad with Roasted Vegetables, Garlic Toast

Personal/Leisure:

I've been as abysmal with leisure this month as I have been with most all else. I did take up Jan Karon's book, At Home In Mitford <<Amazon Affiliate link>> while Caleb was here.  I was able to read quite a bit while he slept and again on Saturday when Isaac and Millie snuggled up in my lap and watched a video on the Kindle, I read my book.  It was a really lovely way to read if you want to know.  I do prefer not having to juggle one or two kids as I go to turn a page but all in all, it was a lovely way to read.

Set up outfits.

Work on genealogy notes and get them logged into my files.

Continue to take a coffee and symphony break each afternoon.

Journal.  It quiets anxiety and I am obviously in need of that at the moment.