Diary of a Homemaker's Week: Feed the Birds

 


Saturday:  We gave up waiting on the contractor to see to that leak and we left home to go out to eat.  John does this thing when we cross the river and asks, "Should I turn here or stay on this road?"  It would help tremendously if he had a clue or had hinted to me where we were going.  One road leads off east.  The other takes us northeast and each one goes to a different town.  Sometimes he'll get a bit fussed because I won't make a decision but if I've no clue where we're going, I can't very well tell him what to do!  Yesterday he just laughed it off.  We talked about all the possibilities of places we could go.  

We were in the mood to break out of our rut, so we decided on a restaurant that I haven't visited in probably two years.  I remember eating there last one day when Caleb was about 18-24 months old, raving hungry and the waitstaff ignored us while he was like a caged wild animal in the booth that it took all my energy, time and breath to control.

Every place we passed was quite busy, including this place but because there were only two of us we got seated fairly quickly.  We were seated in a booth with very high backs and a full wall blocking us from the main restaurant.  The tables were staggered in some way so that no two booths lined up exactly.  This meant that we could actually talk in normal voices and not feel we were sharing our conversation with the entire restaurant, nor were we privy to anyone else's.  

Then John did something he does periodically, "You okay?  Is your life going well?"  I told him how happy I'd been lately; how much I enjoy having time to accomplish things at home and study.   I think this is one of the keys to why I feel valued in this relationship.  He isn't just filling a silent stretch with an idle question.  He listens to what I have to say.  I reciprocated and asked him the same.  

John takes worrying to a fine art.  It is this that he's weary of in his own life.  I know that the leak/drip under the house and the heat pump really took their toll on his peace.  And those are the least of our concerns!  Frustrating, but not devastating as some of the other things we must face are.

Sunday:  We had a powerful morning service at church today.  Goodness but it was lovely.  The altars filled with people coming forth to lay down burdens and worries.  

Then we heard that a young pastoring couple we've come to admire have been called to a new church clean across the country.  We shall miss this young man who is a gifted pastor.  He will be an asset to his new church.

Nothing much to say about home today.  It was just a day of lazing about and eating good food and doing the bare necessities of housework.

Monday:  'make a good job of your work.  Do things superlatively rather than just well enough.'~Marjorie Hillis

I had such plans for today.  I did.  I was all ready to accomplish much and then I somehow started puttering about the house which led me to be distracted.  I was getting up to do something else and realized that I had a pile of papers on my desk, a pile on my dresser, and a huge mess in my files that I'd meant to sort out.  Somehow that job became the primary one today.  

By the time I'd finished with the files (which were done superlatively if I say so myself), I had a half bag of trash, as much paperwork that shall be shredded and a file box that was POUNDS lighter than it had been.  And I even found the tag receipts from last year so that they can be placed where I'll see them and be reminded that we need to renew those in less than 2 weeks.  

Which means that this month we've paid car insurance, house insurance, and now tags. All annual expenses that hurt when they come out of the account all at once, but that is the way it is regardless of how we might feel faint at seeing it happen.  Then begins the slow process of setting aside a portion every month from now until the next time it occurs.  Well never mind.  That's why we saved it so we could pay it and there it is.

It felt good to get that file box sorted.  It was one of those things that had begun to make me feel guilty because I knew it was a mess, knew I needed to get that filing sorted out and kept putting it off because it was buried so deep in the closet.  But now that we've been able to reclaim the guest room closet as a closet and not a pantry, I could get to it easily.

This evening, I went through 3 of 4 boxes in the guest bedroom.  The last one I didn't sort because it was clearly marked as KEEP.  Now I have three boxes marked KEEP and one where I've stashed books that I could perhaps donate or sell, as well as a stack of several that I'd bought for the children to read (Youth) that no one is interested in.  Some child will surely appreciate them so I'm passing them on for installation in a free library.  We have two or three right here in town and there are two in Mama's small neighborhood.  I might even take a few of the adult books I have and place them one or two in these libraries as well.

I'm glad that I got that task done.  It didn't remove the four boxes from the guest room, but I at least know what I want to do with each box now.  I really need to purchase more bookcases...

And yet, I know that this week I shall be removing a few more books from the living room bookcases and I think, too optimistically that there will be room for the books in the boxes. There won't be!  As it is the bookcases are double loaded with books atop books and books in front of other books.  I need not think I'm going to miraculously want to give up enough to make room for what is packed away, lol.

Tomorrow we are full on childcare.  Not for long spells but we've got Millie in the morning, must sit with Millie and wait on Isaac to come off the bus while Sam runs to pick up Josh from his after-school class, then we'll head right on to pick up Caleb.  That means between keeping Millie, I must make sure I have supper started and simmering on the stove.  I think tomorrow will be a good day to have soup which can simmer all day long and come to no harm.

Tuesday:  I woke to hear John talking this morning and hurried from bed, thinking perhaps the man had come to repair the leak.  It was Katie and good thing.  I was dumb with sleep fog and could barely speak before I'd had coffee.  Fortunately, Katie knows this about me and wasn't upset!

She'd taken Caleb to school and said he wasn't happy about going.  He'd fussed so when she dropped him off, she felt in need of coffee before heading on her drive to work.  Thankfully her dad provided conversation for her.

I was still doing Bible study and hadn't had my own breakfast when Sam arrived with Millie.  Since she was on her own today, and didn't have Caleb to play with, I brought out the bin I reserve for the girls which has paper dolls and Barbies, jigsaw puzzles and a Spirograph set.  Millie was very content with this bin and played with all of these things for two hours or so until her daddy returned.  

Just before Sam arrived, Katie called to ask if we could go pick up Caleb a bit earlier.  The head of the school wanted him to stay until 3:30 but said he was acting out a lot and being rude to the teachers, etc.  We were very displeased to hear this.  

After lunch, I took an impromptu nap.  No need why I had need of one, I'd done nothing but darned if I could hold my eyes open.

This afternoon I was very grateful that John delayed leaving until he'd seen me on my way, because I was to drive his car over to the other houses to watch Millie and greet Isaac off the bus.  John was taking my car, which has the car seat to pick up Caleb.  It wasn't until I was in his car that I realized I didn't have a key to it.  I went back inside looking for the other key and recalled it had broken.  John came back up the drive to see why I was delayed and we exchanged our sets of keys.  

At the other house, Millie and I played with play-doh.  She talked and talked and talked.  I could understand about half, catching a word here and there so I had some idea of what she was talking about.  It was a pleasure to watch her great joy when she heard the bus and knew Isaac was home.  Her reaction when her dad returned with Josh was just as joyful.

John and Caleb called me when they returned from school on a video call, so Millie and Isaac talked to Caleb and Grampa.  Sam and I spoke a little before I headed home.

At home I heated the big pot of vegetable soup and while it was warming dealt with a little boy who suddenly became belligerent.  We've no idea why.  He ended up in time-out.  When I got supper on the table, that child ate and ate and ate.  He ate a slice of pizza, a bowl of soup, cheese, yogurt and saltines.  He drank juice and then asked for the container of mac and cheese leftovers he'd seen in the fridge.  I heated that for him, but he ran out of room about half-way through that.   In checking with Katie later we discovered that Caleb didn't eat this morning and we are seriously thinking he was just plain hungry.  He'd eaten a banana and blueberries after he got here with Grampa, so he really ate this afternoon!  Then he told his Mama, "Let's go home...I could use a little nap-nap."  LOL!

I told John afterwards that I think with a child his and Millie's age the place to start every time is always asking "Are you hungry?"  "Are you tired?"  Unless a child is about to be sick, there is seldom another reason for them to act out.

As soon as everyone left this evening, I took a shower and we've set water on the stove to heat, turned the propane heater on, set faucets dripping.  It was 25f by 9pm tonight.  We've three or four nights, not consecutively of this sort of freezing at night to deal with this week.  Fortunately, the days are getting well above freezing which is a big help.

Wednesday:  Our temperatures went below the lows predicted.  When I got up at 8am it was 17F and the sun had been up a good hour.  The animals showed neither nose nor tail, so they were tucked away some place warm.   I put extra food in their bowls last night and added a little more this morning.  I put more bird food out as well.  The birds flocked to the feeders once I'd moved away.  Word has gotten out that this is a feeding station.  I don't mind in the least.  I enjoy watching them.

I felt it was too cold to do anything today, even indoors but I made myself get busy and clean the bookshelves and tidy them.  I still have a few books stacked in front of other, but it looks better, well enough that John commented on it.  I only sorted out one whole bookshelf and let go of perhaps a dozen books.  I really need to sort out the other two, but not right now.  

Last night as we sat at the table eating our hot soup for supper, I reminisced yet again about my childhood Sunday evening winter dinners.  Mama always served Campbell's Vegetable soup with toasted pimento sandwiches or peanut butter sandwiches.  It is the toasted pimento sandwiches that I remember best and fondly.  As I spoke of them again last night John said, "Do you know in 32 years you've told me often about these sandwiches, but you've never yet offered me one..."  I was astonished a at myself.  Why have I never shared this food with him before?

I have puttered around the house, doing little.  It made it to 32F at 12pm.  Tonight, will be cold as well, but not meant to be as cold and then we'll warm up and have rain, before it gets cold all over again.  It looks like it's going to be a proper winter this year.

Thursday:  We survived another night of below freezing temperatures.  Last night was slightly warmer, in the low 20's.  We never turned off the propane heater all day yesterday, nor the water on the stove.  This afternoon we're 'warming' up to the 50's.  Then rain is supposed to move in.  The temps will stay in the 40's until tomorrow night when we hit the 20's again and will for the next 3 days.   

Not that you all are reading here for my weather report.  I know that some of you have far worse weather than ours.  Josie sent a screen shot for North Dakota and the lowest temperature was -66F and the rest of the numbers ranged in the -50's.  Heavens!  

I filled the bird feeder in the backyard again this morning.  For some reason that feeder sees far more activity than the one on the Faith tree.  I plan to buy another feeder to hang from a tall shepherd's hook at the end of the patio this week when I go to buy more seeds.

Last night as I was washing dishes, I looked out the window and saw four large deer grazing.  They came up fairly close to the house.  Caleb was pleased as could be.  Like his sister, he was convinced he could walk out to them and pet them, but we told him they were wild, and they would run away.  

This morning as we got him ready to go to school, he saw the deer again as well as the birds at the feeders.  He assured me that they were all his friends.

Caleb spent the night with us last night because Katie had to go to the ER yesterday at noon.  She didn't get out until nearly 9pm last night.  It was easier to keep Caleb here and take him to school this morning.   Katie is okay.  She is frustrated at trying to get someone to help with a common enough problem that seems to be worse than it ought to be...I can't really explain it better than that at present.

I took a nap this morning.  I got very cold and when I got warm, I went to sleep.  I was awake in the wee hours of the morning.  Truth, having the propane on, knowing there is a kettle on the stove which even if kept low can boil dry, and the alarm to get Caleb up and ready for the day with time for breakfast...It all just added to my sleep anxiety and so I lay awake for two or three hours in the wee hours.  I felt super after the nap though and got loads accomplished.

I swept and mopped the kitchen, replanned my menu (not enough leftovers and not really wanting to cook extra of what is needed), shredded the paperwork from my files, walked out to the compost barrel three times, put away dishes, made and cleared up behind lunch, and just puttered around the house in general.  It's lovely outdoors and I'm glad to turn off the dry propane heat and the kettle and let the house heat from the sun.   When Caleb comes in today, I plan to send him outdoors in the sun and warmth to play.  The weekend weather is to be very cold, barely up to freezing for daytime temperatures.  I want him to get outdoors all he can before then.

Friday:  I did my usual Friday cleaning and then, having a finite amount of time before the bread would come out of the machine, I headed out to my shed to start that process.  In a half hour's time I managed to examine the contents of two shelves worth of stuff, have a pile of things on the floor ready to discard.  Not to be thrown away but to perhaps donate...Although I am contemplating selling them, but that would mean doing a booth at the local place again.  So we're probably back to donating them.  At any rate, I do not want these things any longer and am keeping far less than I'd imagined I would.  Most of the items being put away haven't been used in years and I kept shifting them about and still not using them.  

As I was coming indoors, Katie called, asking to speak to her dad.  He had to run up to the school to 'talk' with Caleb.  Much to my shock, he came home with him.  Katie texted me that Dr. T said he cannot come back until next Thursday when she will again be in town and if he doesn't straighten up he is going to have to cease to come.  SIGH.   I asked Katie "And then what do we do when he's in school next year?  Watch him be suspended?"   She texted later that she'd made an appointment with a behavioral specialist for a consultation next week.

I tried to get to the root of why he misbehaved today, and he told me that Kia (his teaching assistant) had made a big X and then called Miss T...I asked why Kia had made a big X, did he not do what he was told?  No, he didn't know he assured me.  He kept referring all through the conversation to the fact that his Mama was going to the doctor and was sick.  Katie has a common enough malady at the moment that is not healing as quickly as she'd like.  She's missed work over it and yes, has been to the doctor and to the ER but all the same remedies still apply.  It's nothing serious, but it is uncomfortable.

Between her current malady, Caleb's behavior and the illnesses of the past month and all the missed work, we worry about her job.  I try to quell that fear but honestly....a boss is only going so far even if you are top salesperson.  But we will live that and all other worries for another day.  Frankly I don't feel up to worrying over what hasn't happened!

Since I was out earlier this morning, the temperatures have continued to slide down, as forecasted by the weather man who lo and behold did know what he was talking about.  It's sunny and lovely but the wind is heavy and pounding and quite cold.  Tomorrow we're never meant to be above freezing.

We've a busy-ish sort of weekend ahead and all next week I shall have Caleb, which pushes my plans for today off by a week or so...I can feel a twitch starting in my right eye, a sign of stress.   

later:  Katie came to get Caleb early this afternoon and talked with him, assuring him that she was not terribly sick, just not feeling well.  He seemed to be happier after that.  He and I went out to feed the birds before he left.  It's now 10 degrees cooler than it was this morning when I was outdoors.  Brrr!

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8 comments:

Sue said...

Seems to me like Miss Kia has a bit of explaining to do!

My goodness, does the school send every child home for the tiniest infraction? So they will help potty train, but they refuse to deal with redirection and discipline? I would be so frustrated...

terricheney said...

Sue, the incident was bigger than Caleb explained. He was hitting, yelling and throwing things and kicking the teacher. WHY he must do these things at school is beyond me. That doesn't cut it here at all. The Montessori school teaches that actions have consequences but they can only go so far with a child and then a parent or grandparent has to step in with the rest. It's this sort of behavior with non-family authority figures that has gotten Caleb into trouble repeatedly and Miss T has tried to handle it at school without involving others except letting us know so we can handle things at home accordingly. But yes, in a way, it's very frustrating, too. I hate to say bring back the good old days when a child could be paddled, but yeah, I don't think the absence of that threat has done us a bit of good as a society.

Mable said...

In my experience, some children would rather be at home and when they discover that bad behavior at school will get them home sooner, they keep repeating those behaviors. We had the principal of the school our foster child attended tell me that when they told the boy he was going to be sent home for misbehaving, he begged the principal to give him another chance. Worried that this was due to some sort of abuse, he questioned the boy and then laughed when the child said, "If you send me home, I have to sit at the table with her and do schoolwork and there is no TV or video games for the rest of the day. All I can do is read."

It is worrisome that Caleb is resorting to kicking others when stressed. Poor little guy, maybe he is worried that his mother might die from being ill and he would be left alone. He is lucky that the adults in his life, not just his mom but you and John, are such stable figures in his life.

Sue said...

Terri,
Have you considered the big changes Caleb has had in his life in the last few months. Starting school then moving, those are some big changes for a little guy. Not saying his behavior is acceptable but it might be part of it.
I have a question, why do you keep water boiling on the stove all night?

It continues to be below zero overnights here in Minnesota and in the single digits during the day. It’s been like this for the last 10 days. I’m not looking forward to my gas bill. Next week they are forecasting the 30’s!!!

I’m trying to eat down some of the pantry. We’ve been coming up with meals focusing on using the expired food first. (Canned goods). I’m not one to toss a can of soup if it expired 2 months ago.
I’m also working on going through books. I now have 3 empty shelves. I’m working on declutter other areas as well.
I hope you get some rest and get through next week without to much stress.

terricheney said...

Mable, same thing I was thinking. I've been very outspoken about the fact that Caleb sees getting to come here as 'reward' rather than punishment. Hence he has lost a lot of privileges and was made to sit in time out today and then go for quiet time after lunch. I did read to him, but I felt that was acceptable quiet activity.

Sue, the water isn't really boiling. The water is on a very low flame. It adds much needed moisture into the air of the house and that makes the air feel warmer so even if the heat is not running at a higher temperature, then we still feel warm-ish.

Yes, I have considered the changes he's been through in the past two months. He is very attached to me, and we all know it. And that is part of the issue I think, in addition to his obvious worry over his Mama's ailing. She's fine, truly she is, and she had a long talk to him today about why she's feeling bad just now. But yes, lots of changes and probably another move for him in March, although it will be the same family unit just to a larger home. A bit of professional help might not be amiss.

Chef Owings said...

Has he been checked for medical issues that effect behavior? My grandson I raised for 2 yrs. Had MEDICAL issues that was causing the problems.I knew how to handle it at home since it was just us and him, but in a classroom the individual attention is not there. If you always immediately respond to him when he wants your attention... stop and tell him in a couple minutes you need to finish what you are doing. That was the issue with our grandson along with medical. Even now as an adult, he struggles if he doesn't take his meds.

Rhonda said...

No advice, I’m sorry you’ve had a hard week.
We are having very cold weather in Ok too. Jeff and I stayed home 100% for a solid week and I can’t say it was a hardship either.
I do agree that often children are not at their best when hungry or tired.

Hope Katie is well soon ❤️

Tammy said...

Goodness, Mr. Caleb is having a time, isn't he? Seeing the behavior specialist might help with strategies to help him communicate his fear and frustrations in a more acceptable manner.
We have one more day of the bitter cold, then Monday is supposed to be 30°. The other day it was 22, and my neighbor and I were both outside with just jackets. We laughed at how "balmy" the day was - but the sun was shining and there was little to no wind, and it really was pleasant.
I currently have the contents of the guest room closet strung throughout my house as I work on downsizing much of it. Scrapbooks and photo albums, and boxes of loose photos. So many photos...

The Homemaker Plans Her Week: Baby Blue