Diary of a Homemaker's Week: We'll See

 


Saturday:  John had made up his mind to do something 'special' today.  We've been talking about our tendency to get stuck in a rut.  We do it all of the time.  We got to the same three places to eat, and we order pretty much the same things when we go.  We drive one way home when there are dozens of routes we might take, etc.

John had it in mind to try a brand-new restaurant today, but I looked online at the menu (and prices) and suggested we save that for 'an occasion' rather than a routine date.  We talked a bit and came up with another place we've visited and enjoyed but hadn't been to in a really long time.  It was a Vietnamese restaurant known for it's Pho.  John nor I are big Pho people, but we knew they had other entrees that were delicious.


The place seems to be under new management.  I was dismayed that one of the main tables near the register had been piled up with things, rolled floor mats (clean) and napkin holders and condiment bottles etc.  And the Buddha had become a coat/hat rack for employees.  There was an oldies music station playing songs.  

We placed our order and were sitting there talking quietly when Andy Williams began to sing, "Happy Holidays"...lol.  The two women working, apparently a wife and daughter immediately began fussing at the older proprietor about the music selection.  The next song to play was a second Andy Williams Christmas song.  The old gentlemen told the women he didn't choose the music, he wasn't in charge of it, and as they continued to fuss, he told them, "Oh well...We'll just get in the mood for Christmas this year very early."  That made John and I laugh.  For the rest of the meal, the man was determined to make me laugh again and went out of his way to get his reward by making funny comments.

We left the restaurant and headed to get haircuts and then went into the grocery next door to pick up a few sale items before heading home.  It was a nice quiet day here and much appreciated by us both.  

Sunday:  We heard a really wonderful older pastor, Pastor Alton Garrison, speak this morning at our church.  Truth, his sermon was a bit over my head, but we enjoyed it deeply.  So much so that we listened to the aired message of the second service on our way home.  

To boil it down, the basis of the sermon was "What do you do when prayer isn't answered?"  Having been in that place and cried out to God more than once "Why?!" over a prayer that seemingly went unheard, I was very interested to hear his sermon...but I have no more answers now than I had at the beginning.  What I took away was that God is a good God with a good plan, and it's not always ours to understand.

Monday:  A little frustrated today.  I'd planned to get somethings done that I'd postponed for weeks now.  Well, before I'd pulled the covers up on the bed this morning, John's phone buzzed next to me and when I answered it was Katie saying that Caleb had a fever...I asked if he'd been sick all weekend as well and he had been.  

Honestly, I'd thought yesterday evening that surely if he was sick this weekend, she'd let me know so that I could plan ahead for having him again today.  

My second frustration is a little more difficult to explain. In 2020 when John's official retirement date arrived, we went to sign the paperwork to get our retirement funds.  The market crashed that day.  Panicked phone calls from the investor urged us to wait until the market recovered before we took those funds out.  We'd lost substantial amounts and we agreed.  We waited and when we were somewhat recovered, we decided to move them to a super safe, slow growth annuity. We were told at the time that when John arrived at age 70, we'd have to begin to make mandatory withdrawals.  That was five years ago.  Even though we knew we'd have less income, we decided it was worthwhile to wait and we'd just tighten our belts even more than we'd tightened them already and we'd go on.

Well, 70 will be this coming birthday.  We'd talked for the past six months about how much we'd withdraw, focusing on the minimum, and what our plans for it were.  There's a bit more work on the house that John wants to have done.  Nothing like what we've just done but these are needed maintenance upgrades on the exterior of the house to keep it in good health.  

This morning John called to talk to our investor and the rules have all changed.  The government made new 'laws'.  A recently passed law moved the date of 'must use some funds by age' to age 72 and there is a new bill that is in the house which will push that age to 75.  There is a proposal for yet another bill that pushes that age to 78...And of course, it's recommended that all monies be left strictly alone until one reaches that upper age.  I asked, in a half joking way, if we would ever have the opportunity to use these funds that we've waited so patiently upon?   The reply was less than satisfactory.  We were told that due to 'so many current retirees that the IRS hopes that in not withdrawing funds they will continue to grow, and not bottom out the economy. Whose economy? In turn that also means that if you do ever use the funds, they then get a bigger cut when it comes to taxation, but we have the bonus of having 'more' growth, too.  But as John pointed out later to me, that also means the investor himself has a bigger return as long as we don't touch them...All true.  

But doggone it, I do have to ask one more time, what the heck have we spent all this time saving money FOR?  There truly seems to be this mindset that once money is saved it should be a perpetual savings until the end of one's days.  Well, why not just go ahead and burn the stuff then rather than invest it?  No loss, no gain, done.

Am I the foolish one, thinking that savings was meant to be there to cover future needs and necessities?  Or was it meant to be simply forgotten about entirely?  I don't understand that theory.  It all seems rather unfair to me.  We saved for OUR retirement years, not to 'save the economy' or to boost the IRS or an investor's commission payments!

I told John to just go ahead and get the funds we need to do the current round of work and we'll leave the rest alone until we face future needs.   

On the way over to church this evening, I was on deer watch and talked all the way over the roadways we were traveling about all the frustrations I'd faced today.  Not just the ones I mention here but many more.  I needed to get that off my chest in order to go into church tonight with a clear heart.

Lest you wonder what deer watch is, we were headed to church after sunset, when it's neither quite dark nor quite light.  Deer this time of year look about the same color as the wild grasses growing at roadside.  It takes a sharp lookout to determine if indeed what is standing on roadside is a clump of wild grasses or a deer.  We saw two huge deer this evening, one on a busy highway and one on the back road we were traveling to avoid traffic.  Deer watch goes on year-round by the way, but they are especially hard to spot this time of year when dark falls early.

Tuesday:  Last night's sermon was by William A. Lee, or Bill Lee...WOW oh Wow.  His sermon was so powerful.  He spoke on Luke 5 when Jesus was speaking to a group at Lake Gennasaret and Simon (Peter) and the fishermen's first encounter with Him.  His point of topic was that Simon's life, that of a fisherman, was relaunched when he met Christ.  

But more than the wonderful sermon, I got an insight into another passage of scripture that I'd heard preached upon, a similar scenario.  Simon Peter and several of the disciples have gone fishing after Christ's death.   The former pastor said what a shame it had been that Peter, having seen miracles and been with Christ, should return to his former life...I realized two things last night.  Number one, Peter and the disciples had been told to wait on the Comforter to come.  Number two, Peter and the disciples went back to a similar setting in which they'd met Christ to await a relaunch.

As of today, I shall not have Caleb.  Katie and Cody have come to the decision that at this time in the children's lives and theirs, she will no longer be working outside the home.  There are multiples of reasons for this, including and not limited to the fact that they are about to move into a new home.  Caleb is already an anxious child and struggling with the idea that he's not living here which is exacerbated by his being here so often.  As well, Cody's little girl has special needs.  She is currently in a special program and gets off the bus at the house where they are moving (it's Cody's house but her mom has moved into a new place) at noon each weekday there.  So, someone needs to be there to meet her each day when she gets off the bus...Faced with the costs of children in daycare it made sense for Katie to look for a work from home position, which she's been doing.  With the Montessori saying Caleb might not be able to be there but two days a week and yet paying full cost...well it all just added up to what is really best for them all?

Katie also wants to focus on Caleb's anxiety and get him into behavioral therapy before he begins school later this year.  This is something she can't do while working outside the home and juggling a two-hour commute, day care costs, etc. 

While all of this was a 'sudden' decision to John and I, Katie and Cody have been discussing this for some time and they've worked it out to their satisfaction.  

I went out to the shed and worked on that.  All the Christmas things are now put neatly away in their proper place.  I discarded several items I knew I no longer wanted among the ornaments.

Today, I touched on nearly every area of the shed aside from a stack of Katie's things that she will move once they have moved into the house.  

Once this latest lot of donations is out of my way, I told John I plan to go through the shed again, this time to clean as well as to take time to exam everything.  Truth is, I know I have kept many things for purely sentimental reasons and some because they have a perceived value.  The perceived value items are not necessarily things I want to keep for myself, but I feel they would be better sold rather than given to the thrift store.  I have to ask myself exactly what I think I want to do with them.  Do I want to try once again to sell at the flea market in town?  Do I want to list on eBay or Etsy and ship them?  And the sentimental things I need to ask, WHY am I keeping them?  Do I really want them?  If I do, then can I find a place in the house for them?  Are they items I want to rotate in and out of my home seasonally? I already know that not one of my children cares for any of them, so there's no need to ask if they'd like to have them.

I was ruthless with getting rid of frames that had been painted multiples of times.  One thing I determined this year is that I will take the time to get those pictures I plan to keep framed and matted nicely.  Apparently, this can be done fairly inexpensively at Micheal's or Hobby Lobby.  In the past I used whatever frames I could find and if they looked tatty, I painted them.  It is high time to throw those frames away.  I have some nice pieces, but the cheap frames were doing them no favors.  Those I have removed from their frames and will consider having them reframed.  

I have some nice smaller picture frames that I want to add strip magnets to the backs of  and place them on the fridge or freezer with the grandchildren's pictures in them.  

Which brings me to kitchen thoughts.

I've noted that one counter in the kitchen is just terribly dark.  If the light is on, your body is between the light and the countertop and it's perpetually a struggle to see things there.  I had an idea of putting a wall sconce on that wall.  I stumbled on an account on Instagram shortly after that thought which incorporated that very idea.  Her light is fancy, and I've not chosen mine yet, but I really liked the way the sconce looks, and it confirmed my idea. She also chose to use a portrait in the kitchen.  I think the look is stunning and I'd had an idea of displaying artwork in my kitchen and again, I felt my idea was confirmed by her choices.  The photos are not in the same order as my thoughts here, but I'm including her still photos here: 



Her Instagram account is @arceriinteriors

I have currently settled on a color sample called "Quietude" by Sherwin Williams which is a greyed blue green.  It may be a little darker than I want and I've ordered a sample so I can try it on to see how I feel about it. 


I'll be honest, Katie chose the color from the samples I'd ordered.  I told her what I wanted, and she proceeded to tell me which had blue/grey undertones, and which had yellow. She even lay the samples on the counter and showed me how certain samples pulled out a yellow color in the counters and which played off the grays. I'll be honest, I can't 'see' color the way that she does.  I can tell if a color is clear or muddy and I can sometimes tell if there are brown or purple undertones, but I have a hard time with seeing gray and yellow undertones.

I'd love to do an accent wall in the kitchen, but Katie felt I'd be better to do something with the entry way wall.  I really love the look of this wallpaper.  It is a peel and stick and I'm unsure that is what I want, but I think this would be beautiful against the Quietude.



Wednesday:  Today I planned to see Mama and that's what I did.  John had a message from the contractor saying he'd come see to our plumbing issue today.  I left John something out to thaw for his lunch, loaded up my car with donations and drove to Perry.

Mama appeared to be doing well, moving more easily than she'd been moving.  However, she wanted to eat in the car, so we got takeout and drove over to the fairgrounds and ate there.  I won't say I got what I wanted, because as usual, we played the game of "You choose...I don't care."  "No, I don't want that." lol.  But I did have a nice surprise.  She wanted Popeye's Chicken.  I found their macaroni and cheese the best aside from homemade that I've ever had anywhere.  It was absolutely delicious!  Pure comfort food and so very good!

We took a drive around so she could see what has changed and we stumbled on some major housing developments that I didn't even know about that were fairly new, some still under construction.

When I got home, I found the contractor still under the house.  It was a good bit of plumbing work that needed to be done.  No fussing here.  Our pipes are 27 years.  Barring busted pipes via freezing we should be set for another 30 years or so, now.

We had an awesome sermon last night with speaker Tony Suarez.  Tonight, we heard Bishop Tony Stewart from Tampa, FL speaking.  The church has decided to continue with meetings this week.

Thursday:  I dreamed of Granny this morning. I dreamed I was sleeping in her room and not feeling well, (the 'real' part of the dream) and she came in and hugged me and told me how much she loved me.  What a lovely dream that was. 

We had a relaxed morning here at home which was fine by me.  I do not feel well.  The scratchy throat I experienced on Tuesday has slowly morphed into a mild head cold.  Nothing serious nor tedious but just enough to make one feel unwell.  

Nevertheless, I puttered in the house this morning and then we dressed and went out to meet the man who handles our retirement fund.  We had a pleasant chat with him at an outdoor table at Subway, the same patio that inspired us to get our own back porch covered for more comfortable seating outdoors.  Best decision we ever made!  I sat in the sun, feeling sure that I needed the extra Vitamin C and having no desire at all to get as chilled as I did on Tuesday when I'd worked hard outdoors, hard enough to break a sweat and then come indoors and gotten too cool and sat here shaking like a leaf.  

After the meet-up we left there and drove to Butler so we could get new car tags, drop off mail and such things.  We stopped at Sam's on the way home and dropped off a collection of $1 bills so the boys can have ice cream at school on Fridays.  They are covered until March at the moment.   Sam asked if Millie might come over tomorrow and I told him she certainly could.

I made a quick supper, none of which was even on the menu today.  Frankly meals have been sort of 'catch-y' meaning whatever I come up with on the fly has been what we've eaten.  This was an odd combination that I found online based on entering several items from the fridge into a search on my phone.  It was definitely different and definitely not bad.  It felt healthy...but tasted good. 

Then we headed back to church for one more evening of services.  The pastor preached that one himself and he had a great word to share with us about going through the storms that we face.  

Friday:  Shortly after we got home last night, I had stripped off my makeup, put on my nightie and crawled right into the bed.  I watched vlogs on my phone until John finally came to bed.  I slept like a rock.

This morning the air was definitely warmer once again.  I realized, as I waited on coffee to brew, that truly this is the one season we can almost always count on to last about as long as it's meant to by the calendar.  True, we sometimes skip Spring entirely and summer lasts about 8.5 months and we might have 2 weeks of autumn, but winter almost always lasts just about 12 weeks.  This year it's safe to say that we had two weeks of winter at the end of autumn, days that sent hard shivers down you with blasting winds.

I was about to text Sam and remind him he was bringing Millie over to spend the morning with me when he texted to say he was on his way.  He had forgotten as it happened, and she asked him if she might come over here which triggered his memory.

Millie and I had a nice time together.  She helped me put away dishes and showed me how really strong she is.  She blew bubbles and played with Barbie and pulled all the toys out of the toy box and then took time to line up Caleb's cars.  She played outdoors with the Kinetic sand, and the chalk.  We planted garlic bulbs, two onions that had sprouted and a celery root end and we fed the birds and the pets.  Then we played piano and drums and sang through Papa's microphone.  It was a very full morning with her here.  I did her nails, did mine to suit her, then made us lunch.  About this time, she was getting whiny and crying over little nothings and then she had a mini meltdown.  I let her dad know she was tired and getting ready for her afternoon lie down.

John and I spent the afternoon catching up on household chores.  And so another day comes to a close, as well as another week in the life of a homemaker.

How was your week?  Plans for the weekend?  Let us know!

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10 comments:

Lana said...

You can ask for paint to be mixed a percentage lighter. Our kitchen ceiling is the same color as the walls but 75 percent lighter.

Lisa from Indiana said...

I am of a more reformed Christian faith, but have been learning recently that the Lord does not always give us what we want, but keeps us in hard times in order to grow Christ-like character in us - the fruits of the Spirit (a.k.a. - sanctification). Holiness is primary concern, not earthly desires. It can definitely be difficult.

Anne said...

Glad you're gettingthe retirement moneys ironed out. I assume you CAN take it out at age 70, they would just rather you didn't ??? Is there a penalty if you take it out at age 70? We are also doing some things to the house. If not now, then when?

You had said that Caleb was going to be evaluated by a behavioral psychologist. Do you feel comfortable in sharing that info?

terricheney said...

Lana, that's what I was thinking. I'd get them to go 30% lighter perhaps. But it's not a bad color. The more I look at it the better I like it. I just need to actually peel it off and stick it to the different walls to see how it is in various areas.

Lisa, the sermon was a difficult one for sure, because his level of preaching was far higher than my level of faith building at this point in my life.

Anne, We can and did withdraw and yes it's just that no one wants you too, of course! However, we will be getting a small amount and it will be used for our planned purposes. And if we need more (hopefully not) for the same we'll call and get more.

I don't know a heck of a lot about this behaviorial therapist but I think it's meant to benefit him by helping him find more acceptable ways to express anxiety and then relieve it rather than acting in anger.

And good on you! Get the work done and enjoy it!

Slughorn said...

After reading this,

" A recently passed law moved the date of 'must use some funds by age' to age 72 and there is a new bill that is in the house which will push that age to 75. There is a proposal for yet another bill that pushes that age to 78...And of course, it's recommended that all monies be left strictly alone until one reaches that upper age. I asked, in a half joking way, if we would ever have the opportunity to use these funds that we've waited so patiently upon? The reply was less than satisfactory. We were told that due to 'so many current retirees that the IRS hopes that in not withdrawing funds they will continue to grow, and not bottom out the economy. Whose economy? In turn that also means that if you do ever use the funds, they then get a bigger cut when it comes to taxation, but we have the bonus of having 'more' growth, too. But as John pointed out later to me, that also means the investor himself has a bigger return as long as we don't touch them...All true. "

Terri, it sounds to me as if you are smart, but uninformed about a lot of the IRA rules. These recent changes to IRAs come from the SECURE Act.

Here are some links that should help you understand what he's talking about:

https://www.kiplinger.com/article/retirement/t037-c032-s014-secure-act-basics-what-everyone-should-know.html

https://www.fidelity.com/learning-center/personal-finance/secure-act-2


Also, did your advisor talk about Qualified Charitable Deductions (QCDs)? There are complex rules, but it's a way to donate to charity directly from your Traditional IRA and have that deduction subtracted before your income is calculated for taxes. You have to be at least 70 1/2 to make QCDs.

https://www.investopedia.com/qualified-charitable-distribution-qcd-5409491

Finally, while thinking about TIRA withdrawals, look into the '4% Rule.' It's a statistical calculation about how to withdraw from your IRA at a rate that SHOULD keep you from spending it down too fast. As always, YMMV.

Here's what Investopedia has to say about the 4% rule:
https://www.investopedia.com/terms/f/four-percent-rule.asp

And you're dead right about the advisor making more money if you keep more money in your account that he's managing. I have learned a lot about the AUM (Assets Under Management) fees by reading these boards:

early-retirement.org

Early retirement is a forum, but I'd guess that the average retiree on those boards retires in their early 60's. No political discussions are allowed. I have read many intelligent discussions on all kinds of topics there. Highly recommend.

Best of luck,
Slughorn



lejmom said...

On a lighter note---I just adore the pictures you use in your blog...like the house at the beginning of this one. Reminds me of the house I lived in as a child.

The paint color and wallpaper are lovely. I used to have a lot of wallpaper in my house before this one. I have lived in this one 38 years...and all the walls are white. I add color with artwork and so on. It suits me!

Cindi Myers said...

I love that paint color and the wallpaper!

Lisa from Indiana said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
terricheney said...

Lisa, I did see your comment which you've removed but couldn't find where I'd stated I had a lack of faith...I think what I should have said was that I hadn't the full intellect of faith that the speaker had.

Cindi, looking at the paint these last two cloudy days has convinced me that I will be happier going with it a shade or so lighter for sure but I still like the color a lot.

Lejmom, my mom loved the color celery which is the very palest creamy green color imaginable, and she used it exclusively in all the homes we lived in. It was lovely and it suited her and her style perfectly. I will say Mama always had a sure sense of her own style and stuck with it all these years.

Slughorn, those were excellent articles and helped me better understand what had been said! Thank you for sharing them.

Karla said...

I have worked for a financial advisor since 2012 and the information Slughorn gave you is sound and accurate. I will say, an annuity can sometimes work slightly differently, depending upon the rules of the retirement plan, but your advisor can explain that. Glad you got it straightened out!

The Long Quiet: Day 21