Not The Day I Planned
Today is not the day I planned.
I planned to do the grocery shopping today.
I planned to send my husband off to work well armored for the new day, the last day of a tough week.
I planned to leave early and beat the heat.
I planned to bring home something delicious for dinner.
I planned. But my plans failed.
Not enough sleep, sharp words, back pain, thunder and rain, feeling overwhelmed at the enormity of the first morning hour. I failed.
Had it been a movie the wreckage would have looked magnificent. Being real life it looked more like a little pile of dried up nothingness. Absolutely silly to feel so devastated by so much of that nothingness, I admit it, but nevertheless, I was...We are.
I've been scrambling about trying to scrape together something to make this day look like it has promise, but that pile of nothingness looks enormous to me even from the afternoon side of the day.
I decided to stick to the local stores, buy the best sales and absolute necessities there. Do the banking. But beyond that, I have been unable to do much. The humidity outdoors overwhelms the nice temperature and makes it very unpleasant. Everywhere I went people were looking dazed and confused, mostly due to the fogged up glasses they were wearing. Even the most friendly among the regulars could barely manage a grumpy grimace that was meant to pass for a smile.
I was kind of glad to creep back home and hide out. I wanted to look at the world at large and say "Shoo! Go away!" And I guess I more or less did, but when I look at the morning past I find few things worthy of the day. There was good coffee. The dogs were extremely loving. There are fresh peaches. It didn't rain on me while I was out. On the minus side: I bought practically nothing. I've only managed to wash a load of dishes and make the bed. I feel utterly slothful.
So I'm going to give in and let the day be what it is. I've got a good book, I've got plenty of quiet work to do. There's a nap with my name written all over it. Tomorrow, I'll be productive and be better and be worthy. Today I'm just going to sit back and wait on the rainbow.