...am dealing with overwhelm and tiredness. Josh has not liked moving. At. All. He wants his own home, his own furniture, his own toys, his own cats, his own routine...and who came blame him? The only thing saves Gramma from whining over the same things is her mature years. Ha! Not to say there isn't some whining going on inside her head! It's more difficult for Josh to control his emotions at this age though he's heard it from plenty of us adults to 'get over it'...and well, you know, so should I get over it and stop my own whining, internal though it may be.
The renovation on the house began this week. It's looking like it might be a little longer than hoped, as I'd suspected it would be because every reality reno show I've ever seen has proved to be just so. That is my full extent of experience with such but it's enough. Bess came back from a couple of hours of work on her own feeling a bit discouraged. There are missing walls, and problems in floors and a myriad of other things that must be dealt with and that's just one small portion of all that needs to be done. At this point Sam is again questioning the wisdom of even attempting to sink any money at all into the project. He'd meant to do only a portion of the work. The rest was meant to wait until they move in but it's now looking as though most of it must be done to just make it acceptable as a house. And it's hard to see devastation and believe it's going to be home.
In the meantime, I am trying to get accustomed to the chaos that is now home. The baby screeches when he's hungry or has a dirty diaper and he is perpetually hungry or has the other. Josh, perfectly able to communicate, whines at times out of frustration and that is like nails on chalkboard to me. The demand for meals and the amount of clearing up and the demand of being 'on call' at all times is wearing. I do get pockets of alone time but am often too weary to do much to tend to business or writing. My saving has been insisting on that 30 minute window of Bible study each morning with praise music pouring through the earpods into my ears and drowning out the fusses and screeches and general mayhem.
My husband is quiet for the most part, but he's too quiet. I can see the mounting frustration as attention is continually divided and time alone is non-existent and exhaustion overwhelms with the demands of his job. Thirty hour shifts are not in the least helpful at present, although terribly necessary. He has a 5 day block of time off and has already commanded me to 'be free' whenever he chooses. This is meant as a kindness but it's one more pull on limited time that stresses me further.
Lest I sound too much like complaining, I am grateful for a little boy who holds up his arms to Gramma as she walks by as his brother took years to reach that stage. I am grateful for a 3 year old who now has the ability to run free outdoors and is thriving on that. Bess caught a wonderful photo of him the other day that just seems to embody all that I'd hoped life here in the country would be.
This morning, Josh was outside going about by himself with the two dogs. I'd already watched him from a window as he watched the dogs wandering into the overgrown areas of the place...so naturally when I went out a bit later and couldn't find his red jacket anywhere I called out to him. "Gramma! I'm here in the forest where boys and dogs belong!" Uhm no they don't! Then he got caught in a bunch of briars and Daddy had to go rescue him. "It was an 'venture' Gramma!" Indeed, young man, indeed!
Isaac took his first steps and had he not been here I'd never have seen that. What a thrill to Gramma to have him shake my finger away and walk to his brother across the room...
And how nice to get a hug from a big tall youngest son at the end of his day.
Yes, there are good things mixed in amongst the changes that strain a bit.
I'm not the first gramma in the world to have grown children and littles come share her home. I did stop for a quiet break in my favorite graveyard the other day with an ice cream cone. I sat near the grave of Elizabeth Slappey where I like to stop most and I talked quietly to her and asked if she too had had to share her home and if at times she didn't long for a bit of peace and quiet, if disciplining children was any different then than now and even if she had any special wisdom to share. She didn't say a word, naturally and I figured it was an issue best left to prayer and not seeking advice from those who were long gone. But I don't mind saying that I enjoyed that brief moment of time on my own with the silent Elizabeth under the shade of the old cedars in that peaceful spot.
The renovation on the house began this week. It's looking like it might be a little longer than hoped, as I'd suspected it would be because every reality reno show I've ever seen has proved to be just so. That is my full extent of experience with such but it's enough. Bess came back from a couple of hours of work on her own feeling a bit discouraged. There are missing walls, and problems in floors and a myriad of other things that must be dealt with and that's just one small portion of all that needs to be done. At this point Sam is again questioning the wisdom of even attempting to sink any money at all into the project. He'd meant to do only a portion of the work. The rest was meant to wait until they move in but it's now looking as though most of it must be done to just make it acceptable as a house. And it's hard to see devastation and believe it's going to be home.
In the meantime, I am trying to get accustomed to the chaos that is now home. The baby screeches when he's hungry or has a dirty diaper and he is perpetually hungry or has the other. Josh, perfectly able to communicate, whines at times out of frustration and that is like nails on chalkboard to me. The demand for meals and the amount of clearing up and the demand of being 'on call' at all times is wearing. I do get pockets of alone time but am often too weary to do much to tend to business or writing. My saving has been insisting on that 30 minute window of Bible study each morning with praise music pouring through the earpods into my ears and drowning out the fusses and screeches and general mayhem.
My husband is quiet for the most part, but he's too quiet. I can see the mounting frustration as attention is continually divided and time alone is non-existent and exhaustion overwhelms with the demands of his job. Thirty hour shifts are not in the least helpful at present, although terribly necessary. He has a 5 day block of time off and has already commanded me to 'be free' whenever he chooses. This is meant as a kindness but it's one more pull on limited time that stresses me further.
Lest I sound too much like complaining, I am grateful for a little boy who holds up his arms to Gramma as she walks by as his brother took years to reach that stage. I am grateful for a 3 year old who now has the ability to run free outdoors and is thriving on that. Bess caught a wonderful photo of him the other day that just seems to embody all that I'd hoped life here in the country would be.
This morning, Josh was outside going about by himself with the two dogs. I'd already watched him from a window as he watched the dogs wandering into the overgrown areas of the place...so naturally when I went out a bit later and couldn't find his red jacket anywhere I called out to him. "Gramma! I'm here in the forest where boys and dogs belong!" Uhm no they don't! Then he got caught in a bunch of briars and Daddy had to go rescue him. "It was an 'venture' Gramma!" Indeed, young man, indeed!
Isaac took his first steps and had he not been here I'd never have seen that. What a thrill to Gramma to have him shake my finger away and walk to his brother across the room...
And how nice to get a hug from a big tall youngest son at the end of his day.
Yes, there are good things mixed in amongst the changes that strain a bit.
I'm not the first gramma in the world to have grown children and littles come share her home. I did stop for a quiet break in my favorite graveyard the other day with an ice cream cone. I sat near the grave of Elizabeth Slappey where I like to stop most and I talked quietly to her and asked if she too had had to share her home and if at times she didn't long for a bit of peace and quiet, if disciplining children was any different then than now and even if she had any special wisdom to share. She didn't say a word, naturally and I figured it was an issue best left to prayer and not seeking advice from those who were long gone. But I don't mind saying that I enjoyed that brief moment of time on my own with the silent Elizabeth under the shade of the old cedars in that peaceful spot.
...worked:
Keeping the boys Friday was very wearing. Grampa came in from work over tired from all the extra time he's put in. Gramma overwhelmed with two little boys, one who is talkative enough to make known his general unhappiness with everything and the other who is able only to screech and call for Mama repeatedly.
I managed a quick housekeeping on Monday morning while the baby napped and Josh went to the 'new' house to be with parents as renovations began.
John insisted we head out to buy groceries when his 30 hour shift ended...Yes 30 hours. He's likely going to work quite a few of these and they are hard. As he told me, it's easier to just keep going because once he stops he's done.
There's no deep cleaning going on. It feels like an endless round of laundry, dishes, meals and trying to scratch together enough time to fold and put away laundry, empty the dishwasher when there's no baby about to help toss things out, and my brain strains at the idea of coming up with three meals a day all of which must in some form have a kid friendly item mixed in. Bess sat down and planned meals with me and we came up with a week's worth. I know we need to stop Friday and do this again, so we have foods for next week thawed and ready to cook.
I put in the bare minimum of time working on a Jamberry party for next week. I'd planned a party of my own initially but I never got a chance to send out any invitations and at this moment I just don't think I have the ability to even contemplate the work required.
I managed a quick housekeeping on Monday morning while the baby napped and Josh went to the 'new' house to be with parents as renovations began.
John insisted we head out to buy groceries when his 30 hour shift ended...Yes 30 hours. He's likely going to work quite a few of these and they are hard. As he told me, it's easier to just keep going because once he stops he's done.
There's no deep cleaning going on. It feels like an endless round of laundry, dishes, meals and trying to scratch together enough time to fold and put away laundry, empty the dishwasher when there's no baby about to help toss things out, and my brain strains at the idea of coming up with three meals a day all of which must in some form have a kid friendly item mixed in. Bess sat down and planned meals with me and we came up with a week's worth. I know we need to stop Friday and do this again, so we have foods for next week thawed and ready to cook.
I put in the bare minimum of time working on a Jamberry party for next week. I'd planned a party of my own initially but I never got a chance to send out any invitations and at this moment I just don't think I have the ability to even contemplate the work required.
Took time to work up the bills for next pay period, coming up on Monday.
Not my work, but my John's. He mowed lawn for the first time this year. It's a long way from now to end of September/mid-October when he'll mow for the last time.
...made meals...
ordered chicken out. I came home and cooked potatoes and baked beans to go with.
We ate out after church, the kids treated me.
Arroz con Pollo and salad, thin mint cookies from Aldi. These were recommended by someone (Rhonda?) and I must say they wowed even John who is not much on mint and chocolate. $.95 for a packet.
Spaghetti and meatballs, salad, Garlic Bread.
I must remember my husband's need to have foods that are older man friendly as well. He ate very lightly this evening and I know it's partly because a rich tomato sauce, however tasty, is bound to bite back a bit later. We'll figure all this out somehow.
Fish Sticks, French Fries, Green Beans in lemon butter and little lemon cheesecakes.
Chicken Enchiladas, Green Salad with Orange Pieces, Chocolate Pudding.
Pot Roast with vegetables, Green Peas, Homemade bread, choice of leftover desserts.
Pot Roast with vegetables, Green Peas, Homemade bread, choice of leftover desserts.
...saved money...
I shopped for a few things on Sunday, but did not pick up anything 'extra' so to speak and didn't try to buy more than immediate needs.
Went proper grocery shopping on Monday. I needed milk, eggs, fresh produce. It felt good to say, "No we've plenty in the pantry," to a lot of John's questions. We spent about $150. I thought that not unreasonable for a family of six.
Failure to connect with the manager at our local bank regarding a necessary refund led me to call the manager of the district. I received my refund before day's end and was also instructed on how I might attend to another matter on my own.
I mentioned the Chocolate Mint cookies at Aldi. $.95 compared to the $6ish price of Girl Scout cookies which I've seen none of in our area at all. They are delicious. We polished off that package last night but at $.95 that's quite all right. John forcibly removed himself from the table and the vicinity of the cookies. He does not care for the chocolate mint combination but he found these cookies irresistible.
I know that having my family here is more expensive all around. There's a greater use of electricity, more food required, more water run, more laundry to be done. We average two or three loads daily just now. I need to sit down and plan less expensive meals for our eating. And more snacks that are homemade. I have to get my head into this game!
As we planned meals, I reminded Bess that I have a food budget and we need to plan not only kid friendly meals and senior male friendly meals but budget balanced meals, as well.
Bess stopped and found fish sticks for the boys at Aldi in Macon. The one in Centerville only had fillets which are fine for us adults but a bit much for the boys. Noted that while we adults ate four of the apparently small looking filets, that three would have suited me just fine and I expect Bess and Sam as well. Noted for future meals.
I made individual lemon cheesecakes in my silicone muffin pan. They were quite good. There was enough graham crust mixture and enough cheesecake mixture to make a small pie which I put in the freezer once it had cooked and cooled. This was a very easy recipe calling for 8 ounces cream cheese, 1 can of sweetened condensed milk, 1 whole egg and 1 egg yolk and 1/3 cup lemon juice.
I scrambled the extra egg white in with the eggs for omelet for John's 'Welcome Home' breakfast on Thursday morning.
I had about 8 lemons that were quickly aging, which I'd juiced and zested. I got 1 cup juice and about 5 tbsps. of zest which I dried out in the oven. I froze the 2/3 cup of juice leftover in an ice cube tray.
Thursday Bess made a pan of chicken enchiladas from two breast halves. She made ten big enchiladas and there was one leftover. I'm accumulating leftovers in the fridge for a sit down meal of leftovers one night soon. We also have spaghetti with red sauce in fridge as well.
Made bread for Shabat, two loaves from the One Hour Bread recipe. I need to cut the liquid by at least 1/4 cup since I'm not using whole wheat flour. Must make note of that on the recipe.
Fed the boys the two bananas we'd forgotten. They were nicely freckled but still firm and extra sweet. Neither boy minded the freckles which Grampa refuses altogether.
Went proper grocery shopping on Monday. I needed milk, eggs, fresh produce. It felt good to say, "No we've plenty in the pantry," to a lot of John's questions. We spent about $150. I thought that not unreasonable for a family of six.
Failure to connect with the manager at our local bank regarding a necessary refund led me to call the manager of the district. I received my refund before day's end and was also instructed on how I might attend to another matter on my own.
I mentioned the Chocolate Mint cookies at Aldi. $.95 compared to the $6ish price of Girl Scout cookies which I've seen none of in our area at all. They are delicious. We polished off that package last night but at $.95 that's quite all right. John forcibly removed himself from the table and the vicinity of the cookies. He does not care for the chocolate mint combination but he found these cookies irresistible.
I know that having my family here is more expensive all around. There's a greater use of electricity, more food required, more water run, more laundry to be done. We average two or three loads daily just now. I need to sit down and plan less expensive meals for our eating. And more snacks that are homemade. I have to get my head into this game!
As we planned meals, I reminded Bess that I have a food budget and we need to plan not only kid friendly meals and senior male friendly meals but budget balanced meals, as well.
Bess stopped and found fish sticks for the boys at Aldi in Macon. The one in Centerville only had fillets which are fine for us adults but a bit much for the boys. Noted that while we adults ate four of the apparently small looking filets, that three would have suited me just fine and I expect Bess and Sam as well. Noted for future meals.
I made individual lemon cheesecakes in my silicone muffin pan. They were quite good. There was enough graham crust mixture and enough cheesecake mixture to make a small pie which I put in the freezer once it had cooked and cooled. This was a very easy recipe calling for 8 ounces cream cheese, 1 can of sweetened condensed milk, 1 whole egg and 1 egg yolk and 1/3 cup lemon juice.
I scrambled the extra egg white in with the eggs for omelet for John's 'Welcome Home' breakfast on Thursday morning.
I had about 8 lemons that were quickly aging, which I'd juiced and zested. I got 1 cup juice and about 5 tbsps. of zest which I dried out in the oven. I froze the 2/3 cup of juice leftover in an ice cube tray.
Thursday Bess made a pan of chicken enchiladas from two breast halves. She made ten big enchiladas and there was one leftover. I'm accumulating leftovers in the fridge for a sit down meal of leftovers one night soon. We also have spaghetti with red sauce in fridge as well.
Made bread for Shabat, two loaves from the One Hour Bread recipe. I need to cut the liquid by at least 1/4 cup since I'm not using whole wheat flour. Must make note of that on the recipe.
Fed the boys the two bananas we'd forgotten. They were nicely freckled but still firm and extra sweet. Neither boy minded the freckles which Grampa refuses altogether.
...had my leisure...???
One blessed hour all alone when every one in the house took a nap, the guys unloaded the furniture up at the new home and Gramma basked in the sweet sounds of silence and peace. No upset 3 year old, no squealing in upset 1 year old and no one with short words for others. Adjustments are real...
Captured a full hour in my room to do Bible study, run through business messages and write portions of this post most mornings.
Had a quiet half hour to flip through one of my older magazines and read a partial chapter of my book.
Took a half hour another day to read another magazine through. Well flipped through and scanned a few articles would be more like. I found a new recipe we mean to try in the next week or so. I'm finding it's taking those little moments that are most important of all.
Fifteen minutes of time to look up Elizabeth Slappey, whose grave I so love sitting near occasionally for a quiet space. Elizabeth was born in 1792 and died at age 64. I was surprised to discover that her grave is not at the original gravesite but moved some four miles into town in the 1920's. Obviously they moved her gravestone and all when they made the transfer to the 'new' cemetery. Her husband died a good 30 years before her and one of the finest homes in Marshallville was purchased and enlarged upon by one of her sons in the 1860's. Nice little things to know about her.
10 comments:
Oh I love the photo! It looks like Josh is enjoying living in the country.
You are a good Grandma! It must be difficult having so many extra people in the house. I'm glad you are able to grab snippets of time to yourself. Those 30 hour shifts must be so hard on your husband. I don't know if it is true where you are, but we seem to have more emergency calls lately.
Hope you have a good week.
Oh, sweet Gramma, my heart goes out to you. It must seem as though you and John are BOTH working 30 hour shifts. And it can't be easy for Bess or Sam either. I'm putting all of you on my prayer list. Right now.
Mindy
I loved the photo of your grandson running down the road with the two dogs on his way to a "venture".
It would wear me out to take care of two little ones for so many hours. I admire your energy and patience. How do you manage to keep the little ones quiet enough for your hubby to get his sleep after the 30 hour shifts? When my kids were little and my husband worked nights it was so difficult for me to keep the noise level in our home down enough so he could get some sleep.
You are an excellent Gramma!
Take care.
Susie D.
That picture of Josh walking with the dogs is one to frame. Those 'ventures' of a life time. It is a blessings he got to be with you all several times in his young life. He felt comfortable in your home and with you already. That helped everyone. This time will pass. Just hold on even if a minutes at a time at times! :)
At times my 'alone time' is alone working hard cutting back bushes outside but it is still alone time and I cherish it. I am glad you got a few minutes to gather your thoughts and relax. Taking that time always brings a renewed energy when you get back to the work again. Looking back I can now understand what my parents and grandparents were going through with us around so much. :-)) I wish I could thank them again for all they did and with such sweetness. Now I know that sweetness may not have been easy to do with their aching joints or hurried worried lives. .. but that makes them and their lives as we saw it, even more special.
Thanks for the mention of the mint cookies. So far the only thing we would not buy again at Aldi is one of the holiday cakes. I saw the mint cookies but resisted them so far but might just find them in my grocery basket this week! LOL By the way that cheese cake sounds yummy and making it individual is such a good idea.
John works 30 hours straight through?? How could he concentrate. His work is so intense and demanding how can he do it if extra tired ? Yes and I too wonder how you kept the little ones quiet enough for grandpa to sleep. My husband used to work shifts and that was always a problem. ! :)
You are helping raise another generation who will love your family homesites and write their own stories on it. They will know that land and its trees and wildlife like you do now. You will grow to have the same memories through the years and become so close to each other. Enough acreage to have privacy yet close enough to have companionship. Sounds like a bit of heaven to me.
I always think of the old classic Cary Grant movie Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House when I hear of anyone renovating their home. I hope if they have not seen it they will one day as they will have their own stories of redoing their own home to add to it. By then they may laugh at things that happened they might not think laughable right now. :) Sarah
You do have your hands full. I can understand your need for alone time. If I don't get mine I get very grumpy. Between mom and Hub's it is hard. But you will treasure these moments later. Try to remember this, yuck, yuck. Hang in there grandma you can do this.
Dear Josh,
I have moved many, many times - 43 times and I am almost to be 44 years old. It is very hard. Sometimes I stayed with my grandparents, just like you. I called them Nana and PopPop though. I got to walk their dogs and play with some very old toys, and I even got to see one of Nana's dogs sneak out and eat tomatoes in Nana's garden. Ohhhhh she was very angry with that dog! I bet you would giggle like I did though. I love the story of your 'venture', but as a mama, I have to tell you to be careful and listen to Gramma. But shhh, I will whisper to you that it sounds like a wonderful 'venture', and I have a boy, a big boy who is past 10 years old, who would agree with you that boys and dogs should be in the woods every now and then. Maybe next time tell the adults where you'd like to go. ;)
I hope you enjoy getting a little note all of your own. You sound like a wonderful boy to have around. I am with you on how hard moving is, but in the end it's always worth it. You'll look back someday and realize how blessed you were to get to stay at Gramma and Grampa's for a while.
Best wishes,
Mrs. Melonie
Terri ~
Oh what an adjustment you are all going through. But what fun memories you are making as well. I think your son has a good point about spending much money on a temporary home. Hopefully the owner is helping him with renovation expenses. I had to chuckle when you mentioned having to plan a menu that includes food for an “older man.” I guess hubby hasn’t reached that age yet because he eats anything and everything I prepare. Please fill me in on what you’re referring to tho so I can be prepared! :)
I have just ended a wild weekend myself, after my nephew stayed over for 3 nights. We do this quite a bit, and are used to it, but, like you said---it's WORK! He is 10, but is special needs and functions at about 6ish. He is a delight, and we love him very much. He does take a LOT of energy to keep up with. He's constantly on the go, and needs attention or a new activity about every 10 minutes or even more often. As a person who craves alone time, I find myself staying up super late to catch my breath, once everyone else goes to bed. Not always a good idea:)
I am glad you got a bunch of groceries. I haven't had much need to shop lately, and was keeping to a pretty low budget because I was using pantry and freezer items.....until today. All my plans went out the window. I found a great deal on laundry soap and bought 4 huge containers---it was that cheap (like $9 off each container). Then, boneless skinless chicken breast was $1.47/lb. For here, that is the absolute best it EVER gets, so I got about $25 worth. I replaced the items I'd used from my pantry (a huge list because I've been using things up lately), and filled the produce drawers and fruit bowl. I found I was out of Worchestershire sauce. AND A1 steak sauce. Maraschino cherries? Really? AND some other items that rarely run out like water chestnuts. What? All of those ran out this weekend? Crazy! Even the groceries I bought right after church along with the soap and chicken were hit hard this afternoon when the family was here for lunch. (I love feeding a crowd, so no sadness there). All the food I made was consumed. How gratifying. So, I just decided to go get the rest of what we will need for the next 2 weeks, and just stock up good, which I did. Except... The store was out of 1/2 and 1/2. My plan to stay out of the stores for.2 weeks will not be realized. At least I won't need much, hopefully!!!!
Mrs Melonie,
This is Josh. I am getting old. I need a new house. I have a dog and his name is Rufus and Maddie. I need a bird house. Thank you for writing to me.
Sincerely,
Joshy Richard Blackstone
What a delightful, real life, portrait you wrote Terri! I am feeling for Josh, You, John and all. That said, this is such a short season in the scheme of things that I know in a few years, when things have settled more, you will read this post and sigh with melancholy at its passing! So he renamed Maddie Rufus? That is so funny!!! Our dogs growing up were both named Rufus. 😃
That boy is a character in his own right haha!
You and John are so kind and good to be there to help. We never had grandparents that were much involved in our lives growing up and it's such a gift you are giving (albeit at great sacrifice of the very precious quiet time). Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and insights.
Love,
Tracey
XoX
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