Dear Nasty Trolls

Dear Nasty Trolls:

I wrote "A Broken House" last week after a morning of deep spiritual soul searching.  My purpose was to highlight how God was using this time in MY life to change ME, make ME a different sort, make ME exam MYSELF in a magnified way that is painful.  I am more than well aware that given the opportunity to go into a growing season, my first response is always to whine about it.  I try hard to see the blessings in what might be a very pleasant season overall but which involves change.  Pruning hurts.  Straining to recover from pruning hurts. Healing hurts.  It just does.

But the response from that post was not at all what I expected.  Many of you lovely ones were very sympathetic which I appreciate but it wasn't my purpose.  However, two Troll comments were just horribly nasty and hurtful and hateful and  those two "brazen" souls did the usual and hadn't the courage and conviction to sign their own name to their bit of hate mail.  I did what I always do with unsigned hate mail and will continue to do in future:  I deleted it.  But I can't delete the hurt it renders me right away, nor the questions it puts upon my mind about my purpose in sharing my deepest thoughts.

In My Home This Week: Sweet Scented Spring

In my home this week, I...

...noted on Sunday afternoon, despite the cool rainy day, the Privet was putting out blooms...And so we embark upon the portion of Spring where the air is so scented and perfumed that it's a bit like the young girl who has yet to learn that the best perfume is subtle and not all up in your face across three fields (or parking lots, take your choice).  Well there is no getting away from the perfume of this new season just now.  I confess, I pretty much love the heavily scented air despite the headaches and sneezes and I will happily stand on the porches and breathe in deeply.   

A Broken House

I was sitting in my room yesterday morning, listening to praise music with my ear plugs in to drown out the screeches and yells and screams that are now morning in my home.  I looked out the window between prayer stretches and admired the iris which have been so especially long lasting and lovely this year.  The golden yellow ones are blooming just now in great clumps having multiplied very well over the last few years and they are gorgeous.  I looked at the clump I'd planted just under the trees near the edge of the yard and saw that one tiny portion of my vision for the yard was true at last and good.

In My Home This Week: The List

In my home this week, I...

...had a bit of a meltdown the other night.  Overstressed, overtired and mostly just dang tired of feeling I was living with a bunch of teenagers and toddlers, I sat down after supper and had a good cleansing cry.  Granny always did say it was often the very best way of relieving stress.  And when I was calm once more I realized that I had two things working against me.  Number 1, I have a tendency to just DO things when I see they need to be done.  Others don't always see what I do.  Number 2, because I am a doer, I don't ask for help.   And so my family left me to my doing and I did it all quite alone.

It also helped to realize that every single one of us adults were stressed and overtired. I refused to be a martyr but demanded of myself that I look at the whole picture and only the true one, not the over fatigued one my mind presented earlier in the evening.

Coffee Chat: Shortcake Season

Hello all...

I've started to chat three or four times now and time keeps slipping away so quickly as I am interrupted multiple times and I lose the pattern of my thoughts.  So frustrating but so normal these days, as well.   So this one may be short and sweet as time has slipped from me this morning and I really must get myself together.

John was off to work this morning and I sat down long enough to work up the bill box since he gets paid next Monday and I like to know about where we are and what's coming up.  How pleased I was to realize that I shall be able to pay off that loan we took out prior to our going on vacation next month.  Joy joy!  It makes me happy to see that while I might be stretching pennies I am getting them to stretch to cover necessities and pleasures alike.   I won't say it's not been a close fit but John's overtime has covered all our needs extended as they are at present.

In My Home This Week: Discovery Time

In my home this week, I...

...  Realized this week two very important things.  I have always said I'd like to be like Granny and I guess when it comes down to it I am.  I long to know and understand my grandchildren but I'm not really willing to lay down my whole identity for them...And that's pretty much like Granny.  She enjoyed us, took us when she felt up to it, put up with us for a time and then sent us home.  She taught us, loved us, knew us and our interests and fed them, disciplined us and let us roam free but she didn't fawn over us and she didn't spend all her time with us.  She had a life of her own.  And I guess I am more like her after all than I'd thought I might be.  That's a nice discovery.

In My Home This Week: It's Not Over Until the Baby Sings

In my home this week...

...I'm  teaching the baby to sing...Really.  Isaac's most favorite form of expression to date is screeching shrilly at the top of his lungs.  It has been known to not only make grown-ups jump in their skins but to shatter eardrums.  So this past weekend, when he began his screeching I started to sing scales.  Isaac listened and began to mimic me.  Soon his pitch matched mine.  'Do' is still a little low for him yet but he did right well with 'Re, Mi, Fa'. 'So' and 'La' will come in time.

From that moment forward we've practiced our scales daily.  I can say sincerely that my voice is getting better.  His pitch is improving.  Our eardrums are grateful.

Towards the end of last week we settled into a routine of sorts...and naturally this week everything has shifted and changed.  Sometimes, life really is a beach and the tide is constantly changing the shore.  We do our best.

Coffee Chat: A Very Long Spring

Hello loves.  Come in and have coffee and toast with me for another early morning coffee chat.  It is VERY early and my house remains quiet which is unusual because normally by now there is a lot of screeching and screaming and stomping...and that's just the baby, lol, who is rather heavy on his heels but apparently has forgotten he was crawling a mere two weeks ago.  He's even learned that he can 'run' when he doesn't want an adult to take something away from him which is at least five times a day!

But yes, at present it's quiet.  And that is lovely.  I miss quiet.