Iced Tea Chat: Summer Joy

Hello dears.  Iced tea?  I have plenty of ice in the house this week.  I've been giving the ice maker a run for it's money.  It's been HOT.  I'm told that this is not going to be our summer, it will be more mild. In fact, the rest of this weekend will be fairly pleasant and all next week will feel even nicer.  Hot enough to not want to work but not so hot you can't enjoy the porch for a bit if it's shady and you've got an icy glass in one hand...and a fan in the other to keep the gnats away.



Oh would you like a little something sweet?  I have one last package of those spice cookies I get at Aldi each winter.   I opened them this week with some regret.  But it won't be long before they are back in the store and in the meantime I am enjoying that gingery bite.  Shall I be coy like Dorcas Lane and declare "They are my one weakness..." ?  I always smiled when she said that about sundry things.

Gracious.  I've been in a very nostalgic mood for England of late.  I gazed with deep longing at the landscape on Midsommer Murders last night.  So much of what we watch of late is English in origin and I just love the views of old houses and thatched cottages and Norman churches and sweeping views of rolling fields.

Perhaps that is why when John suggested I 'read a book' when I announced I had no projects I wished to begin on Friday, my mind went to three authors: Jan Karon with her little North Carolina mountain town (I think it's the rolling hills and the Vicar that makes me think English on that one) and Miss Read's Fairacre and Thrush Green series of books and Elizabeth Goudge.  All favorites of mine.  I feel almost guilty if I don't also mention D. E. Stevenson with her lovely homey sort of books about wonderful old houses or quaint characters (like Miss Buncle).   And of course that put me in mind of Jane Austen and Larkrise to Candleford...Gracious it might well end being an English sort of summer in my home.  Certainly I've set the scene with my décor!

I don't know how you all do it, but my bookshelves are not organized by subject or alphabetically but by author.  If I have several books by an author I try to put them in order of publication.   I did have my authors shelved alphabetically but this winter when I was decluttering my bookshelves, I felt compelled to set Jane Austen by Elizabeth Goudge.  So often Jane is amongst her characters' books, usually at bedside, and in reading her biography it seems that Jane was a constant companion for Miss Goudge in real life.  It seemed fitting to put those books together on one shelf.  So now they are all in order by author but not alphabetically.

Being in a reading mood, I decided I'd best check to see which books I didn't have in the Miss Read series and the Jan Karon Mitford series.  I am always missing a few books from most of my favorites that I keep on my shelves.  I discovered that I am missing the first two of the Mitford books.  How on earth can you start reading a series and miss the very beginnings?!   I also don't have the last two but those will wait.  I just can't fathom beginning to read these books if I can't start right at the beginning.

Of the Miss Read books I'm patchy at best with the Fairacre series of  books, but I had all but the last four of the Thrush Green series.  I went online to look with an idea of what I expected to spend overall and found I could get all six books, some hardcopy and some softcover, for about $7 plus shipping.  The shipping was the {gasp} part but it was still within the amount I'd meant to spend overall so I went right ahead and ordered them all.  Just like that.  It felt so nice to do that for myself.  Not for the house, not for a gift or need of another.  Just for ME.  I daresay that $30 (told you shipping was high) will see me happily occupied through the longer, hot days of summer when I have done enough in yard and home.

And when I questioned myself if I really wanted to spend $30 on books just now, I recalled that just this week I stood in line at Walmart and peeked at the cost of a magazine on the racks next to the register.  It was $13.  Twice that and I've got six books I'll read dozens and dozens of times over the years.  Value for money spent I think, don't you?

I often mention that I feel I was born in the wrong era as far as my personal preferences go but have I ever shared my absolute fascination with  English homes, country side, authors and foods, etc. ?

I'm smitten by proper British accents.  I suppose part of that might well be that in dialect the British and Southern speech patterns are the most alike.  No really, they are.  I read a whole study on it one time and mention was made in that study that British actors authentically speak like a Southerner and Southern actors can authentically pick up a British accent.    And if you look at a formal Southern historical home there's a strong resemblance between décor styles.  There's also a strong resemblance with the eclectic mix of things you'll find.

All that said, while I'd love to visit the English countryside, I don't have much desire to visit London or any of the large cities.  It's the country side I want to see!  Just as I have it here at home. I am quite happy in my Southern state.  I do gaze at our rolling landscape and wonder at times if this area has any resemblance to England... I expect it does in some areas as would most states.

All that said, beyond making Yorkshire pudding a couple of times and loving a good roast beef, I confess that the next closest step I've made to an English sort of menu is to eat boiled egg and toast with orange marmalade as a supper.  Sad isn't it?  I'm sure I'm missing out on many quite good recipes.  I love reading menus of high teas served in those books I've mentioned I'll be reading this smmer.

As for the British movies and tv shows, one thing John and I have noted is this: On American shows when they pour out a cup of coffee or a cup of tea, they literally just splash a bit in a cup.  On British shows and movies when they pour out a cup of tea, honey it's HOT tea (or coffee) with a full head of steam rising into the air over the cup and the cup is filled full.  There's no playacting when it comes to having a cup of tea!   I find it awfully appealing.  I'm always assuming the Americans are sipping coffee that is stone cold and I inwardly cringe but when a British actor picks up his cup, I know he's getting an honest to goodness cup of something to drink and there's no playacting about it.

I also love the British  gardens.  It seems nearly everyone has a few flowers in their yard.  Here in the South it's only been in the past ten years or so that flowers have really become popular and mostly it's hanging baskets.  For years growing up,  everyone focused on green lawns and green shrubs and that was that.   I remember as a child just longing to see something with color about a house.  I loved going to visit my Aunt Mattie Lee who had flowers of all sorts tucked into odd places,  as did Granny.  With my love of flowers, it's the British gardens I've always looked to with great admiration.

Do you get the impression I might be a bit of an Anglophile?  Well not quite.  The truth is I know too little about their history which I think makes the US history look a bit anemic overall.  I think to be a true Anglophile I'd have to know a lot more about the history of the land and the monarchy that has ruled them.  As it is I've only just barely touched on British history.


For all my budget talk of late I have been a bit spendy.  I got the toaster oven and ordered those books.  I've ordered some birthday gifts (June is sooo heavy with birthdays!) and then I ordered printer ink which is ridiculous but necessary.  Melissa and Doug had another featured sale on Zulily and I felt compelled to go look because the toys are such good quality pieces.  I found two more to put in our toy box here that I think the children will enjoy.  John ordered a few necessary things.   I found a welcome mat I loved and ordered that because it matches my porch.  I bought a few potted plants and mean to buy more, but  I have begun to feel a bit wary of spending any more.  Thankfully as I was rifling through my wallet looking to see if I'd hidden any money anywhere, I found two gift cards, one generic and one for Lowe's.  So I will get my plants!  And no I hadn't any 'extra' cash.  It's all been spent or given away!  I suppose that is a good thing given my financial goals for June.  I know I need to say "Halt!"

That said, I spent most of this morning planning to go look at this and thinking about buying that and after a bit I reined in my thinking.  I can do all the spending I want to do. I think modestly about spending, meaning I'm not likely to be out looking at diamonds and Louboutin shoes,  but I sometimes get into this mindset that I can't buy anything at all.  I had to remind myself I can buy all the things on my mind at present, but!  I've committed to doing certain things with our money like saving and working on the yard.  I find a tendency at times to whine a bit about not having money for this or that but  I made a choice to do something different with the money we have.  I chose to concentrate on something that will ease our life in some way later and something that will hopefully give us lasting pleasure (a pretty yard).  Or I can buy these silly little nothings that popped into my mind this morning and delay both savings and yard.  Well after setting myself straight I decided  that I'm not giving up something I want more but  I'm giving up something I want less.
 
I knew when I typed out my goals list with all the savings plans and yard work on it  that I was making a heavy set of goals for June.  Once I've written it down and shared it I'm far more likely to push to get things done.  I don't do it to impress anyone. I do it because it is important to me.  I've spent far too long looking back at time wasted that might have been spent getting something done, money spent that might have given me more lasting joy or met a pressing need.  I've waited for years to have a pretty yard and it comes down to one thing: I can have it if I do what is necessary to make it happen. That means that I have to make the sacrifice financially and physically.

There are other reasons to pursue my goals. Working for what I desire stretches me to increase my creativity, my skills and my physical abilities.  It makes me stronger in so many ways and it builds my confidence as my skills and strengths grow.  So goals are a very important tool for me, be it a savings goal or a working goal.  It also disciplines me.

Discipline, even that imposed by self on self, is so very important to building character and living a good life.  No one much likes the words discipline or submission which are two sides of the same coin, though we never seem to realize it.  Submission smacks of being under authority to someone and that makes so many people immediately get a good case of rebellious thinking.  "I'm not going to submit to anyone!" we will say emphatically.   Submission does mean to be 'under authority' but what is discipline?  To train oneself to be 'under authority'!  Might I just suggest, if you don't feel like you ever accomplish anything in your home then you're lacking discipline because you haven't trained yourself to submit to anyone, not even yourself?!


Believe me I'm speaking from personal experience.  I've had such a  knot of things to work out in my lifetime!  So many areas that I had to sort out and gain control over mentally.   I found if I could gain control over the external things like the messy house, poor financial decisions and erratic parenting, then I gained control over those nasty knotty things that tormented me mentally and emotionally.  But it starts with the need for and the acceptance of being disciplined.   I love how Joyce Meyers put it:  "You want authority over your life but you don't even have authority over a sink of dirty dishes."  It's truth!

What is it you need to gain control over in your home?  Choose one area and make it your goal to discipline yourself to deal with it every day for a month.   And then determine you'll do it for another month.  When John and I started living together he marshalled the forces of everyone who lived in the house to tend to household chores.  I needed that help back then.  The children were punished if they didn't do their chores, but I had to do mine, too, even if there wasn't a ready punishment. I had to set the example.  I had to see to it that the clothes were folded and put away, whether or not I felt like it.  I had to see that meals got planned and were cooked and the leftovers were properly stored.

I had one area though where I simply displayed no control at all. The top of my dresser, that lovely old dresser of mine, was piled high with papers and books and clothing  I had decided not to wear and sundry other things.  One night I felt really ambitious while listening to sermons in my room and I went to work and cleaned it off.  John came in that evening from school and looked at it and said "It looks nice...but it will never last.  It will look just as bad tomorrow as it looked this morning."  It hurt my feelings.  It made me mad.    I've rarely let the top of my dresser get out of order since.  All because 27 years ago I decided I was going to discipline myself to keep it clean just so I could prove him wrong!

But what I gained from that was the ability to make myself do things that needed to be done.  Here's a good place to insert Rhonda's blog title and motto "If you do stuff, stuff gets done."   There's no one keeping house except me these days.  John mows the lawn and he does laundry but the cleaning and keeping of the house and porches and the making of a pretty yard...that's my duty.  It was nice to have three older kids helping to get things done but they grew up and moved out.  If I hadn't made myself do the jobs each one used to do, the house would be a total horror right now.

Is it easy to be disciplined?  No.  There are days when I'd rather just not do what is required.  There are sometimes several days when I struggle hard with myself.  There are days when I just want to sit and play at the computer, when I'd rather not sweat or strain, when a meal is the last thing I want to cook much less plan.  I have learned to use rewards on those days when I can't find motivation any other way.  "If I work in the yard for 30 minutes I'll give myself an hour to read."  "If I do these four tasks within an hour's time I'll watch that movie I've been wanting to see."  Other days I am actually eager to go to work and get things done.  I don't need any reward other than the deep satisfaction of seeing it done.  And now and then there are days when I don't do any thing at all.  I'm not talking about days when I'm sick or busy elsewhere or even Shabat days.  I'm talking about those days when I do nothing because I refuse to bow to the discipline.  Those days I often come to the end of the day and realize that I missed an opportunity to gain a foothold on a goal I hold dear be it to have a pretty yard or a neat and clean home.

Well, I don't know where all that came from.  Not at all what I meant to write, but perhaps someone needs to read that bit and soak in it for awhile.

On the 'pretty yard' front I have been thinking about my desire to have more flowers.  I am sticking pretty much with planting in pots because I can manage them best.   But I'm looking for more and more perennials that can be grown in pots rather than looking for annuals which must be sown over and over again.  Oh I do love annuals, don't get me wrong!  Petunias and impatiens are hard to beat for color but roses and pentas and mums and Angelonia and such that return year after year are pretty, too, and more permanent.

Today I began to look for plants.  I didn't go far because I was already tired when I finally left home.   So I headed to a nearby town grocer that also has potted plants each year.   I bought some petunias and marigolds because I just love the color and both will last months each year in our area.  But I noted that one pot plainly said "Perennial".  It was a flat of Pentas.  The Pentas will draw hummingbirds and butterflies and that appeals to me.  So I bought a single Penta today but I may return for more.  Wouldn't it be lovely to have a great big half barrel of nothing but Pentas?

I want to add more interest to my flower beds.  I think one thing lacking is color.  Now the roses are done there's simply nothing in that bed to give color except the rose leaves and they are just green.  I'm tempted to take a can of spray paint (Dora, I know) and make the trellises something other than flat brown.   I think a lovely pink or red or navy trellis would be a nice little pop of color don't you?  At least it's a start!   I suppose I might  put a variety of blooming plants at their feet, as well. I'd love to plant morning glories on the rose trellis but they drop seeds so indiscriminately and then I'd have them just everywhere and I really don't want that.  Speaking of which, I am much amused that in putting in the foundation work, Mr. Handyman apparently stirred a long dormant seed in the soil there in front of the front porch where I once grew Morning Glory (Heavenly Blue) years and years ago and there is now a single plant coming up.

The petunias and marigolds I bought today are going to go in the herb bed by the back steps.  I'll paint my footboard to the guest bed and prop it there behind the pots and hang a basket of petunias on the Shepherd's hook and then plant the marigolds in pots to tuck in amongst the herb pots.  I have another idea for bringing additional interest to that bed.  It does involve spray paint, lol.

Gardening is just like decorating.  You start with a base and then you layer in color and texture and height and lower growing elements and accessories and finally the bed looks 'dressed'.

I have two mental lists running at present.  One list is of things I mean to haul out of the shed to use in gardening and house and the other is a grocery list.    Somewhere in the recesses of my brain is a June calendar with all the birthdays and Father's Day written, and a sort of list of goals from the list I shared and  a list of plants I mean to buy when I do get to the larger garden center.  Goodness!  It's no wonder I have so much trouble remembering things at times.  And John says my biggest trouble is that I can't multi task! Ha!  My biggest trouble in my own eyes is that I haven't enough energy to do the dozens of things scrolling on my mental to do list.

Frankly, I think that's why I need to get back to reading.  I think my brain has gotten so used to the hectic clammer of "I should...", "I could..." , "I ought..." that runs on constantly.   I need to shut it all down and get lost in the landscape or house or village in one of those books.  It would be a mental vacation.

How do we do it all, keep track of every thing?

I usually rely on an Inspiration/Ideas notebook.  In the last few weeks I've neglected using it.    I just use a standard composition book. I make lists, jot down ideas and thoughts, or staple the odd catalog page or Pinterest photo I've printed off to a page.  You will also find the occasional column of figures where I was trying to mentally establish where I am with pocket or personal spending, a grocery list and an address I mean to write in my address book.  I jot down recipes I find in old magazines that I think would be nice to try.  I make notes about pairing wardrobe items for outfits and things to look for at thrift store and things to look up online.  And menus.  And...  It's a great memory booster!  It's a huge help this notebook of mine.  I just started doing this last August when the kids moved out of the house and into their own once more.  I had such an overwhelming lot of ideas of things I meant to do!  I finally filled that first notebook in March.  I've got a new one started but here it is June and I can turn back just three pages and find April 16 on the page...

If I do try a recipe and it's a hit, I make a nicer copy and put it right into my recipe notebook where all the keeper recipes live.  I haven't really figured out a way to save outfits that worked well.  I suppose I could take a photo and create a small album of looks that made me feel awesome.   I don't know if I could do that without being too critical of how I actually look though.  It's truth that how awesome  I feel in a particular outfit and how I actually look when I see a photo of it on me is often a parting place.  For now I've settled on keeping a record in a small notebook in my closet basket where it's handy to grab and look.

And you know what is fun to do?  Flip back through and start checking off the ideas that I did try and make notes about what worked or didn't and why.  I have a ready record of recipes tried, outfits that made me feel awesome or frumpy, furniture that didn't work in a space where I thought it might, measurements for the piece that would work, etc.

Well my dears, I am off to make three lists: one to shop from the pantry, one to shop from the shed and one to remind me of what I need to get at the grocery.  And that shall end my day today.  Talk to you later!