Summer Daze

 

I took coffee on the front porch again this morning.  Rufus came around to sit with me.  He was very companionable and quiet.  The two of us just sat there gazing out at the dewy grass, admiring all the green and appreciating the bird song.  When I finished my coffee I told him, "Rufus, you are a good companion to sit with in the morning."  He bowed at my feet.  He does this at least once a day if I go outside and it always makes me feel the role of "Queen Mother" is a true one and not one Caleb made up for me! I petted the dog's graying old head and then went out to the other porch to feed him and the cat. 

 

From there the morning and day has gone on.  I've been dreaming of gardening.  And that's about all I do, too, is dream.  I'd recently read that one might use cardboard boxes to fill with dirt and plant in.  I wonder how those would hold up?  I would be concerned they'd break down rather quickly, especially as we seem to have frequent showers these days, but the forecast ahead appears to be hot and dry so they might do fairly well.  I've been saving boxes because I had planned, once I had edging stones, to lay them around the edges of the patio and expand my growing space to a border bed.  Again, more dreams.  I have some of what I need and money to buy a little of what I might need and not much else except a lot of ambition!  Doesn't stop me planning and dreaming though.  

I've gotten my vegetable and herb seeds lined up to plant for the fall, along with a few flowers that are meant to be sown in late August/early fall.  I've got soil.  I've got my cardboard boxes and plenty of weed mat to line the boxes with.  I've got the desire.  So, what's the hang-up?  

Fear.  Pure and simple fear that I'll do all this work and then net nothing as a reward which seems to be a common thing these days when it comes to gardening.  I planted a huge crop of basil, and it all came up.  It's about 2 inches high and it's gotten no higher in two months.  I've gone out and cautiously clipped it to try to encourage growth.  I've fertilized it.  It's had water. It just doesn't grow. It seemingly wants to be a dwarf variety.  I look at other's photos online and they are gathering these foot long and taller branches of basil and there is my mini basil just looking at me.  It's green and healthy and smells awesome, but it is not growing.

The dill has been eaten alive.  Again.  Few of the zinnias have come up.  One cosmos.  No marigold, no snapdragon, no Tithonia, sunflower, Rudbeckia, Strawflower, impatiens.   The impatiens I'd purchased withered.  I'm glad I got an opportunity to clip the few leggy looking stems last month and rooted them because the other plants literally rotted away at the root end.    

The tomatoes are straggly and pitiful looking.  They're loaded with blooms, but they have set no fruit.  

Yet I am optimistic.  I bought fresh flower seeds.  I went out with them two days ago and sowed them.  Chrysanthemum, zinnias, cosmos marigold, Hollyhocks for next year.  I gathered black eyed Susan seeds (from old plants) and sowed those.  I prayed over each seed as it went into the ground.

And I do have all those fresh packets of Fall seeds to plant.  Optimism is strong!

I sat down with my cookbooks yesterday and looked at canning recipes.  I realized yesterday that my progression this year on Pinterest and Instagram has gone like this: Fresh recipes for comfort foods.  Diet/Wardrobe.  Gardening, flowers first and then vegetables.  And now it's all filled with canning recipes and sites!  

It's a good thing I just did a pantry inventory because as appealing as all those jams and jellies and butters look...I don't need a single jar!  We've a plethora on hand.

I watched a video by Hilary @OldWorldHome yesterday that was such a lovely summer video.  It began with going to her parents' garden to gather items which she then took home and incorporated into their meals all the following week.  It was such a leisurely, peaceful, satisfying sort of video. She didn't work herself to the bone trying to harvest loads but simply gathered enough to eat that week (and a little ahead).  That appeals to me.  That whole mindset of growing and using but not being overwhelmed and overworked by it all.  

I have the leisure at this time of NOT working too hard at canning.  It's just John and I and while I could indeed put up a year's worth of things for us, the truth is even so we don't need much.  There's mostly only ever the two of us here.  

I love to daydream, but it can lead to dissatisfaction if there's nothing put behind it to achieve things.  I'm much happier getting things done.  My flower beds are pretty enough.  Not Pinterest worthy, my gardening is not producing as I'd hoped but I've tried.  And hopefully I've learned.  

I found Mountain Men on Amazon Prime earlier this week.  We've already sailed through two whole seasons.  I told John I wish they'd make one called "Mountain Women" to show all the gardening, canning, cooking of wild game, foraging and such that I know women do in these households.  Show me a woman sewing kitchen curtains and aprons, making meals, heating water to wash dishes, etc.  I could get behind that program as much as I do behind the aesthetic of Mountain Men.

Anyway, I'm enjoying watching this series.  One of the few things I've missed about having cable tv was the loss of PBS and History channel programming, so I'm over the moon to get to see this show once more.  It reminds me of my real ambitions.  I'm not a homesteader, but I recognize the lifestyle, and I know what it involves because it was just the way we lived.  We gardened.  We cooked from scratch.  We made our clothing.  We learned to make do, do without, use it up and wear it out!  We learned to be ingenious in keeping things in working order.  It was just what we did. 

I spent many of my summers out of school, working in the garden, canning and freezing produce, and sewing my clothing for the coming school year!  And when I married, I foraged for nuts and berries, I put up any and every bit of produce given to us that we didn't eat fresh, I made curtains and upholstered furniture.  I cooked from scratch and stocked a pantry and freezer.  Honestly the one thing I let go was sewing my own clothing and that simply because I couldn't afford to buy material and patterns and so I got out of the habit of doing that task. 

We worked away this morning at our Friday home blessing.  There are still things I haven't done this week and perhaps won't get done for July as I'd hoped but it's okay.  I've done things.  I've rested and I've planned for the months ahead.  

I am happy to be home.  Happy to have time to sit on the porch and enjoy morning coffee.  Happy to feel the abundance of what we already have.  Happy to have dreams of what our future might be.  It's a good life!

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