It's late to be sitting about chatting but hopefully there are others among you, like myself, who aren't quite ready for sleep just yet and who would like a little company. Do come in...I can offer you cocoa, something which won't keep you awake all night. Or perhaps some of my special Sleepy Time milk would be in order? A little vanilla and honey added to milk and heated.
It's a new month, October today...but still more, with Rosh Hashanah just past. Rosh Hashanah translates as Head of the Year which is why so many call it a New Year, because it is a time of beginning afresh, of starting over once again, of setting the past behind and moving ahead without the burdens that had come to encumber us. I could do with a new start just now. My prayers have been fervent: Let a new season come. Let me have learned my lessons and accepted your disciplines, Oh Lord. Let me move from this place, please. Let me see the harvest of years spent standing on your word, though I did shake fiercely as I stood. Yes, my prayers are fervent and fearful, too. What if the new season is more difficult? What if I find the new season sees me here still, in this same spot, unable to move? I can only trust in Him.
Rosh Hashanah started Sunday evening. I had plans. I put out fresh candles and there was an apple and local honey to celebrate that first evening. I set the table up and even put out the matches so I could light candles at sunset...and then I forgot all about it. At 10:30, just as we shut off the tv to go to bed, I looked at John and said "I forgot..." and he knew immediately what I meant and said "So did I..." Contrite, we went to say our prayers but it seemed silly to light candles so late and so we didn't.
But Rosh Hashanah is two nights and we did remember to light our candles last night. It was so lovely...
The candlelight enriched the colors in the centerpiece and played off the blue and white jar. Then there was John praying over me. I don't know that I'll ever become accustomed to the sweetness of having someone pray over me the way that he does, with such love and care, with insights that make me aware that only love could see what he sees in me. I couldn't stop myself smiling even as tears trickled down my cheeks. And the colors in the arrangement were so vibrant, more so because of my tears. Yes, I know prayers mean our eyes should be closed but somehow that beauty before me, the beauty surrounding me, was too much to close my eyes against.
Is it more reverent to shut your eyes to beauty or to gaze upon it and offer up silent prayers of thanksgiving? Is it better to offer up praise for the things we can see before us or to close our eyes and pretend we feel more holy in not seeing?
Of late we've had a lot of talks about a Living God. A God who breathes, and feels and sees and hears and smells and speaks. It was something that came to John first and he spoke of it and it reminded me of the scriptures that bespeak the truth of John's revelation. God says that the aroma of the burnt offerings was pleasing to him. He smells. He breathed the breath of life into Adam....He breathes. He saw Hagar hiding in the desert...He sees. He heard Sarah laugh...He hears. He spoke to Moses...He speaks. He loved Jacob....He feels. He says His name is "I Am" and that means that He's present, God with us...
Last week Joy Clarkson did a podcast about Touch and spoke of God relating to us. Scripture lessons this week speak of a God who lives.
Not that I doubt He lives. Only sometimes, He does seem very far away...It reminds me suddenly of how the children love to play with a pair of toy binoculars I've bought. Josh and Taylor love to look through them and say "Oh you're so close!" But Isaac hasn't yet learned how to use them, so he always has them backwards and he looks puzzled. He only sees me as very tiny and far away. Sometimes, I am like Isaac. I look at God through the wrong end of the binoculars and forget that He's so very near.
Let me just dim the lights a little. Perhaps that will make me feel more ready for sleep...
I've 'stumbled' upon so many scripture, books, pod casts, teachings, uplifting music, that I am almost overwhelmed as my mind attempts to keep up with it all. I feel my soul and mind expanding in a way it has not for a long time, as though something in me has opened wide. It's wonderful, truly it is and daunting, too.
I'll relate to it in a homemaker's way: I walked into our local grocery last week which is under new management. The produce department is vastly improved. And the counters were loaded with all the autumn fruits and vegetables. I kept picking up things to put in my basket and I felt so excited about all the new seasonal produce available. That's a bit how I feel just now. I want to fill my basket full to overflowing with the fruits of this new season of learning, and to do it with joy and excitement, mindful only of how good it all will be.
Oh my...Just listen to the dogs barking away. I don't get nervous when they bark at night. John gets upset. He's sure there's someone in the yard and then when he goes to the door the dogs quiet right off. I remind him that creatures move about in the dark: armadillo, deer, racoons and possums, foxes and skunks who hunt under the moonlight. I'll lay odds tonight the animals are coming to feast on the persimmons.
A new Harvest season is upon us, not just biblically. Peanuts, hay, sorghum, soy beans, cotton. In the past week, in my travels, I've seen many harvests ongoing and watched with pleasure as wagons were loaded full. You can't head anywhere at all on the roadways just now without slowing down to a tractor's crawl. I don't mind when this happens. I'm not impatient. I see the blessing of a harvest to be gotten in, and though it's not mine I know that in the end, somehow it will be a blessing to me, in goods upon a store shelf that come to my table and bless my family. Blessings spread, like ripples on the surface of the water, you know.
I know this is brief, but it truly is late now. I just thought of Robert Frost's line, "I've promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep..." But I shall not keep my promises to myself or anyone else unless I do try to sleep, so here I shall end. A new day is upon me...It does seem there's just so much new just now. Make me new, Oh Lord, make me new.
14 comments:
This is such a sweet post. You're very wise, Terri, and a blessing to your readers.❤
Carol in NC
ours barks at everything at night. Including the skunk
I keep my eyes open sometimes during prayer
Blessed Be My Lady
This was beautiful. You have such a way with words.
Lovely!!
Terri
Shana Tova to you and yours. And Tikitavu- May you be written in the Book of Life for the coming year. These ten days aren't called Days of Awe for nothing!
Best wishes from Best Bun
Lovely, as always, Terri. You put things so well. I especially enjoyed the metaphor of the binoculars. It's funny, Mike and I were just talking about how there are times in life when the good Lord seemed far away and in hind sight we realized He never went anywhere...it was we who had wandered away from Him. He is/was as He always is/was...waiting in the same spot for us to wander (or, in some cases, run) back to Him. Reminds me of the C.S. Lewis analogy of God as a fountain. I think it's in one of his essays in "Mere Christianity". In it (and I am very much paraphrasing) Lewis answered a question as to why God allowed bad things to occur. His answer was that God is like a fountain, as long as we stay near the fountain we are kept fresh, hydrated/nourished and flourishing. Sometimes we wander away from the fountain (on purpose or by accident) and then we become parched, dry, unhappy because of the distance and lack of easy access to the life giving waters and we will remain in that dry state until we remember to return to the fountain. That resonated with me so much and has stayed with me as a guiding light ever since I read it over twenty years ago. But I am going on, as I often do haha!
Mike hurt his hamstring a week or so ago and is still home recuperating, so I am off to make up a batch of requested Tuna salad for our lunch. Thank you very much, as always, for this inspiring post.
Much love,
Tracey
x0x
Hi Terri,
Years ago I was in a car accident and sustained a whiplash. That meant wearing the neck collar. I was unable to bend my neck to pray. Instead, I raised my head up and prayed with my eyes “toward heaven.” It felt so different, yet I was able to concentrate in a new way. I still prefer to bend my head in prayer, but know that God will listen if I raise my head up. Blessings!
I like to watch our pastor pray so sometimes I keep my eyes lust a little open at church. He is so fervent and practical in his prayers. My husband's heart attack and resulting brain injury were hard but sometimes I feel like it was worth it because I have felt God's presence with me in a very real way ever since. In those 10 days of sitting by the bedside of my husband in the coma I learned that He is always by my side and He cares. I used to try to find a feeling of His care but it is just there now and never leaves me.
I know that blessing of a husband who prays for me, too. It is so sweet how he does not consider himself but always prays for me at bedtime and always at breakfast when he asks that I have a good day. For years he traveled for work and my days never went right when he was not there to pray for me at breakfast every morning. He said he prayed where ever he was but somehow I needed to hear it.
I hope you slept well. I laid down and thought I would not sleep last night and then was waking up at 3 AM. I think if it would just cool off we might all sleep well again. 97 degrees on Oct 2 is just not right and the body knows it.
He says... Be still , and know that I am God... and that makes everything better...sleep well...
Dear Terri,
What a Peace-filled post.....I DO feel as if we had a quiet and intimate visit, and the sleepy time milk hit the spot! As always, Thank You.
Good morning, Terri! Thank you for the hot cocoa chat. I am just catching up on your last few posts and I am so grateful to hear from you. I liked your paragraph about a Living God. Really made me ponder. Also, thank you for telling us about the Jewish holidays. I find it interesting and I do mean to look more into why Christians may still want to celebrate them, as Jesus did.
I see that you are having a hot start to your October down there! It has cooled off here and we are in the 50’s today. It has been raining a lot lately and I really need to get to the garden to pick the last of the green beans. We actually have fall lettuce almost ready this year for the first time. The leeks can wait for a bit as they like the cooler weather and will get bigger. Our garden has never been so bountiful as it was this year and we are grateful, but it does keep one hopping so that produce doesn’t go to waste.
I am terribly behind in my homekeeping and now have the deadline of cold weather coming in November. I must get all of my windows cleaned and I haven’t even started yet. Plus so much to do outside to prepare for winter. Today I will catch up inside. My youngest son is a freshman in highschool and he has had a lot of soccer games for me to drive him to the last few weeks. My husband was offered a job at a company that he did a short term project for and he accepted. We are very impressed with the company in general. They even opened a subsidized daycare for their employees a few years ago after a local daycare unexpectedly closed overnight, leaving many employees without care for their children. I have never heard of a company doing something like that. Well, my husband deserves a positive, uplifting place to work. He feels like it is his dream job. The company makes whole food supplements, which we strongly believe in too. Anyway, he has been working a lot to start off with, which leaves me with the running. I keep reminding myself that he is our last son to grow up and I should enjoy everything! Just a bit tired after some of these out of town games.
My 19 yo son is coming home for a few days in mid-October. He has a “fall break” for a few days. He is doing well in his community college classes and that is such a blessing! We had no idea what his brain function would be for academics. The vision therapy helped greatly with him being able to read and comprehend again. This is wonderful news and we feel so blessed in this regard. So nice to have good things happen for him.
Btw, Robert Frost is my favorite poet. I used to sing the poem “Walking Through the Woods on a Snowy Evening” to all of my boys at bedtime when they were little. You have inspired me to get my Frost book out again!
I hope the weather cools off for you so you can enjoy the changes of autumn more! The leaves are starting to turn here. I sense an exciting new season, for us both my dear! You are in my prayers and I am sending lots of love and hugs to you! Have a lovely day.
Lana: That is so wonderful that your husband asked what you would like to do again...going out for lunch with friends. I will keep praying. My son used to be so in tune with other people’s feelings, but that changed a lot with the brain injury. He needs help understanding social communication more too. Until he realizes it, though, there is not much we can do but pray. Have a good day today!
Karen, that is wonderful news about your son! I went to lunch with a friend today and hubby was okay with me gone. He found the bread was moldy when he went to make a sandwich but figured it out on his own.
Karen, I will pray for your son.
Thank you so much, Lana. I really do appreciate it.
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