The Week Behind: Wide Open

 

Saturday:  I've been enjoying my work in the house these last few weeks.  It feels good to rid myself of things under which I'd buried myself both physically and mentally over the past year.  Letting go of paper work that I've held onto for too long has been the most freeing thing of all, I think.  Statements and receipts and long ago service records for vehicles and slips of paper that I ponder, trying to determine the reason why they seemed important enough to keep.    

You'd think it would have also decreased my anxiety, all this letting go of stuff,  but it has not.  That continues to some degree, though less than in the summer.  However, letting go of what I can does give me some small sense of control over my own life in which I so often feel I am floundering out of control.  Housework is very grounding.  Going deeper and clearing out what is unnecessary furthers that sense of grounding.

I had an insight about January last night.  I've shared before it's named for the god Janus who looks both forward and back, but I'd never before realized that in continuing to look back, one remains attached to the past in a way that doesn't really allow for free movement into the future.  Loving history as I do, I don't attach much of myself to the far away past as I do to my own immediate past, a place where I still see my own reflection and continually return to examine and analyze the why/therefore of every action and incident.   I remember that Lot's wife was turned into a pillar of salt in turning to look back at what she should have been leaving behind.  It's a cautionary word to me to be careful how much importance I attach to my own personal past.  "Let it go",  I whisper in the dark when thoughts swirl within my head.  "Stop looking back."  

This morning, I could only escape my thoughts by getting out of bed.  Truth, I loathe the idea of getting up in the dark.  I don't much care for darkness, but it's easier when I know the dawn is only a couple of hours away.   The house was cold and though John had gotten up even earlier and turned on the propane heater it wasn't enough to chase away the chill night air.  I got fully dressed, put on my slippers and wrapped a sweater tightly about me and put water on to boil.  What I wouldn't have given to have that  cup of coffee, ready in under 3 minutes!, this morning...but soon.  I was tempted to give in and call it quits but I braced myself, took up my book and settled in to lose myself within the pages.  I found the family within snuggled down by the fire.  They too were sitting in the cold dark.  I opened the shades and waited for Dawn to break as I slipped into the story once more.

Later this afternoon, I simply had to escape the house and go sit in the sunshine on the back porch.  I took Peppermint Tea with me as my afternoon hot drink.  I turned my face into the sun (as my doctor said I should do) and tried to imagine it soaking me through and through, light pushing out dark, warmth chasing away chill, renewal pushing away decay. 

It was lovely outdoors, not as cool as this morning, but still cool.  Birds were clustered around the feeder and a pair of Doves marched sedately down the deer path in our yard on the left side.  Granny was very fond of Doves.  These are not pigeons and she'd quickly correct you if you dared call them such.  They are actually Mourning Doves, and they mate for life.  In an early morning or late evening you'll hear them calling a gentle "Boo Hoo Hoo", sobbing over the secret sorrows that burdens them to be Mourning birds.   Today as they walked side by side they were quiet but they reminded me of an old couple out for a gentle afternoon stroll.

As they passed out of vision I noted a sheaf of green leaves hanging from a lower branch of some vine or bush, something wild, but the sunlight through the leaves made them such a startling bottle green, even more startling because it is the dead of winter here and the greater portions of greenery are the deep, brooding green of evergreens.  I wished for the hundredth time that I was the sort who could photograph or paint and capture what I see.  I do see beauty all about me but I can only hold onto it with my words.  Occasionally I can capture with a photo what I want to show yet even I know that what I've captured on those rare occasions is 1/100th as lovely as it was seen first hand.  Sometimes, desire is enough to help one capture beauty but in the instance of capturing the image so other's might see it, I don't have the knowledge nor the equipment.

What a lovely day it's been!   I'm so grateful that we keep a Shabbat and have learned to truly rest in it.

Meals:  Bagels, Peanut Butter, Banana

Hamburger Pizza with Mushrooms, Onions and Green peppers

Roast Chicken, Baked Potatoes, Salad, Rolls

Sunday:  Up super early this morning so we could go to early service.  I made breakfast and made too much.  Fortunately this past week I watched a mama who was making the same meal use up her leftovers so I'll try to do the same.

Not only did I make too much, I simply couldn't eat a full serving.  I filled up much too quickly this morning.  I'll say this, the past few days I've been very conscious of stopping immediately when I feel full.  I make just one exception: I try to finish all my salad each time even if that means leaving other foods.  No salad this morning though!

I stripped the bed and bathroom before we left and managed to stack the dishes in the sink and get on my makeup.  I count it a bonus anytime we leave the house nearly on time and this morning was bonus.

We had a very good sermon, one that has fed me all afternoon long with thoughts.   Not what the pastor was preaching about but a line of verse that caught my attention most especially.  I love when you're listening to a sermon and find the pastor's message powerful but I feel super charged when  a verse he was reading starts preaching to me as well.

The pastor spoke of Lazarus' death.  The verse that stood out to me was this one:  John:11:44 "The dead man came out, his hands and feet still bound with strips of linen..."   Why did this speak to me so?  Because it made me recall that when I came to Christ myself, I was not perfect, not in a perfect place in my life.  I was bound by what had always held me but my willingness to allow Christ to call me out of the grave I was in was greater that what had kept me bound all those years.   

When we got home, I put the laundry on to wash.  John was determined to go out and work on the edge of the yard trimming more branches and undergrowth.  This has a two fold purpose.  This summer, when he's mowing, he won't get slapped hard by branches that are too low for him to ride under.   Visually, it makes the view from the porch across the yard look like we meant it to be this way instead of it just sort of happening.    

When we moved here we had views across fields, albeit fields of sedge.   They soon were covered with small trees and brambles and in 25 years they have become the start of woodlands.   I sometimes miss the open views we had when we came here but in summer especially, I love the feeling of being closed off from the rest of the world and I do admire the liquid sound of breezes in leaves.   It almost sounds as though we are near a river with moving water...  

While John did his tasks, I remade our bed with fresh linens, then picked up the house. 

 I pulled my roast chicken from the fridge along with a lot of vegetables, planning to make a couple or three casseroles and to cook chicken broth.  I got as far as making one casserole recipe and chopping the vegetables to go into the casserole and the chicken soup base I wanted to make from the broth.  I found however that I was more tired than I'd realized after hanging out laundry, walking across the yard to empty compost, and doing my bit of cooking.  

I was hungry.  I made us sandwiches and again found I was too full to eat the whole meal.  I'm not ailing or sick but simply aware of being full, so I stop when I feel that sensation.  Hopefully this will result in my losing the five pounds I gained over Christmas!

After lunch, I had no desire to return to my duties in the kitchen.  I told John, "I'm not done but I don't feel like continuing.  I just got started today was all.  I'll finish it tomorrow."   

We're going back to church tonight to take part in the final three nights of fasting and prayer.  I'll need to make an early supper for us to have before we leave home.  

later:   Glad I mentioned about the dishwasher leaking a bit....Lana had an idea it might be my gaskets and I did check them today but determined they were clean.   Then Stephanie suggested a slow leak was entirely possible and so today when I had a load of dishes to do, I took my dry dish towel and just tucked it under the edge of the machine.   I went off to get clothes off the line and do another easy chore and when I came back the towel was dry.  Just a few minutes later when I went in to heat tea water, the edge of the towel was getting wet.  

I told John about it and we decided to check the drain...That appeared to be fine.  Naturally after 24 years of use there were dirty parts but it was remarkably good over all.   So we started running the machine only on rinse.  It soon became obvious that it was a leak from water running in, not from water running out through the drain...

Two hours later....Isn't that always the way?... the kitchen was a HUGE mess, the dishwasher was outdoors, and the area underneath the dishwasher was just about wet enough to be a mess but the wood was sound, there was no mold and it seems that this has been a slow leak for a very short period of time.   So thank you very much Stephanie for suggesting it was possible.  

In the meantime?  Dishes by hand.   Not a terrible hardship.  Truth told I ran the dishwasher about once every four to six days these last 10 years.   The first 10 years we had the unit we used it daily.  We've looked at possible parts and the percentages for whether this one or that one fixes a leak and the highest success rate is 25%.  I told John, then let's start fresh.  Mine made it for 24 years. 

We're pricing basic models which is what I've had all these years.  I had originally thought I'd get the fancy bells and whistles type but after hearing how often some of my contemporaries are replacing their dishwashers, it seems to me that a basic model that has lasted 24 years might just be the best route to go once more.  They are reasonably priced and the fewer bells and whistles the fewer problems one ought to have.  

Off we go to church...

Monday:   As we were struggling with the dishwasher and the mess and mayhem last night, John remarked that it must be an awesome service we were going to have at church because honestly?  We seriously considered not going and just watching live stream.   I'm so glad we did go.  Yes, I was tired and weary and really wished on our way into the building I'd stayed home, but it was such a good service and the church was packed.   Since we typically don't have Sunday night services, we kind of expected about what we have at our first service on Sundays which is a good crowd but well spread out in the big auditorium.    Last night looked more like second service.  We were pleased for our pastor's sake that he had so many show up.

The speaker was very dynamic and a bit more intellectual, too, than we're accustomed to hearing though our pastor is a very smart and good preacher.   The perspective the speaker shared gave me food for thought: what had 2020 meant to us? he asked.    He suggested that the isolation, the inability to get into church, should have pushed each of us to find our own way to God, and not be so dependent upon a church service, a pastor, Bible Study group,  or Sunday school class to take us where we ought to be able to go on our own.   Mind you that's my interpretation and a very concentrated rendering of his talk but it was that statement that made me stop and think hard.

You see, most of my life, I've been isolated from others of my age and indeed from people of most sorts.   There have only been a few years in my life when I worked or had close friends who lived near enough to visit with.   When I got saved, I wasn't attending a church service.  I had to seek out the Word wherever it was available so I learned to read and understand the Bible and I found sermons on the radio  to listen to each evening.  I learned in those years to seek God out.

Now what I'm about to say has nothing to do with the sermon really.  It's just my thoughts about seeking God in prayer, which is one of the ways we make that connection with Him.

Over the years, I have learned to really pray.  I had a tendency to think I was doing it all wrong and that God couldn't hear me unless I had every word sound holy enough.   I was afraid I was going to be tested on what I didn't do right when praying.

There is one prerequisite for prayer and only one that I'm aware of:  I can't pray for things that are wrong by every tenet in the Bible.  

There are ta lot of opinions on prayer.  There are those pastors who will say don't repeat prayers, others who say repeat until God answers if it makes you feel better.  There are pastors who say every prayer you need is in the Bible already and you just need to find the one that addresses your need, and still another camp who believes that prayer in the Bible was personal prayer meant only for that one person and that one situation and therefore not valid for the rest of us.  There are some who feel you can't be holy enough in prayer unless you have a lot of Thees and Thous and Oh Lords thrown in.  And even some who think unless you are quoting scripture you aren't praying.  Neither is true by the way.  The wonderful thing about God is He knows what we're saying, in whatever manner we say it.   There are some who say your best prayer time should be in a prayer closet and others who feel you should pray out loud and the louder the better.

Here's what  I've learned over the years: sincere prayer is always heard.  It can be as simple "Oh God, please HELP!" and as detailed as you want to make it.  It can be silent and it can be screamed out at the top of your lungs.   It can be a prayer you repeat daily over a situation and which is worded the same day by day.  It can be a heartfelt prayer read right from the Bible because those are the right words for you at that time and  you are sincerely pondering them as you repeat them.  You can pray any time and anywhere.  In church, behind the steering wheel, while you're standing in line at the grocery store, as you scrub a pot clean at the kitchen sink, or are lying in bed awaiting  sleep to return.  You can pray at any time day or night.

The only thing you really need to know about prayer is that it opens the door between you and God and creates an intimate atmosphere that is always holy.  No one else can access that intimacy for you.  It has to be you who makes that connection.   And no one else can judge what holy intimacy looks like or feels like.  It can be ecstatic and it can be quiet and peaceful. It can be humbling and it can be uplifting. Only you know when you've made that access to God in a personal and precious way.

Well there you go...all I really meant to write out today was about this Chicken I'm working on making the most of!  So let us go back to my domestic side...

I started working on the chicken yesterday afternoon but I'm experiencing a tiredness in my back between my shoulders and upper arms that wearies me and when I was ready to quit yesterday the dishwasher flooded.  I left all the messes, simply putting away the food.  It was 9pm when we got back last night and I wasn't going to start housekeeping at that hour.  In fact, by 9:45 I'd given up any pretense of holding on to waking and was asleep in my chair.

I got up before the alarm this morning. I had a few minutes alone in the kitchen and I finished up the last chapter of Pilgrim's Inn by Elizabeth Goudge.  Quiet uninterrupted time to read is a sweet thing to have...

After breakfast, I hurried through the house setting it back to rights but I ignored the kitchen which was more than messy.  I had to sort that room out in pieces, one section at a time and by the time I was finished with all the work there this morning it was past 11am.

I shredded from that huge pile of paperwork for at least an hour off and on throughout the morning too, but at 11am I stopped that task.  I can see I've made progress, even if the big black trash bag full of shredded paper wasn't evidence enough!  

So  I pulled out the chicken frame, the vegetables I'd prepped, the casserole mixture which was still in a mixing bowl and all that I thought I needed to finish my plans.  I put the casserole into a dish and realized that I had a second dish worth of the stuff leftover.  I offered it to Sam who'd come over to do meetings this morning but he bypassed as they have a freezer fully loaded at present.  I wiggled room in my own freezer and put the second casserole in to save for another day and time.  It's the only prepared food I've got in there so I shall no doubt be very glad of it in the future.

I chopped carrots and set onions, carrots, celery to cooking.  I'd chopped the rest yesterday and stored them in the fridge.  I pulled all the meat from the frame and divided into two portions.  I'll make Chicken Pot Pie with half and I'm going to look through a recipe file to see what I'll do with the rest.   The frame and the few onion root ends and tops and celery bits I'd tossed into the freezer that weren't nice enough to eat fresh along with a portion of carrot went into the stock pot.   Right now, cooling on top of the stove is the broth concentrate and the meaty frame.   When the frame is cool enough I'm going to pick over those bones and that meat will become soup base along with the broth and the vegetables I cut up for same yesterday (carrots, onion and celery).    I cooked three small red potatoes that had sprouted and those will go into my Chicken Pot Pie.  

I doubt I do more with that stuff today than pick over the frame.  I'll bottle all that up and store in my fridge and get with Katie to determine if she wants it in her freezer.  If not then I must dig all the way to the bottom of mine once more because that's where I keep broths.  

I don't have any further plans beyond that mentioned just above for today except to go do my delayed Bible study, but I'm really thinking I want to lie down for a few minutes first.  I typically don't give in to that feeling, but I feel just that tired this afternoon that I think I will.

We will watch service online tonight as it's to be song service only.  I told John I just didn't want to drive all that way for a song service.  It's quite possible we'll be going to church at least one more time this week and possibly twice.   Both nights there will be speakers coming to share with us.

Meals:  Cheese Toasts

Tuna Salad Sandwiches, Chips

Spaghetti a la Diable, Green Salad, Garlic Toast

later:   I ended up with two 29 ounce jars of chicken soup base that includes all but parsley and just needs water (and seasonings to adjust taste) and one 25 ounce container of broth with no salt.   I used the meat picked off the bones (about 1 cup more) to add to the soup.  The dogs had a nice small treat of soft cooked gristle and skin.   

I still have to make up my mind what I'm going to do with that last bit of chicken.  I am thinking perhaps of making Laine's Chicken Casserole that has tortillas and green chilies and chicken soup and cheddar.  It's so good and tasty and I needn't make a huge casserole for just the two of us, so there should be enough chicken for that.

John and I carried off trash this afternoon.  Two big black trash bags that were filled mostly with shredded papers.  I have a little ways to go on that shredding job but it's so good to have it down to one neat file box instead of piled here and there and watching it slither down every time we walk by it.

On our way we rode with the windows down and I turned my face full into the sun and breeze and savored it.  It's very warm here today, warm enough that the AC kicked on which I didn't find in the least surprising.  We almost always get these little warm spells about this time of year, same as we get a few cooler days in August.  I think God just knows we need that little bit of a reminder that seasons will always change.  They are constant because He is constant.

Tuesday:  Last night we did not go to church for the end of Spiritual Emphasis service.  We watched on live stream and it was so powerful!  Nothing but an hour of worship and praise.   As will happen the worship leader got sick and the team had to carry the program on their own.  They were AWESOME!   I felt chill bumps rising on my arm at one point and told John I hadn't felt glory bumps in a long time during a praise service.

Our pastor announced that not only would our worship leader be out the next night but the speaker scheduled for Tuesday night was also sick and had been replaced.   I thought this must be a mighty powerful service for such a determined effort to prevent it going forward.

This morning, I was not feeling chipper.  I don't know why not.  My blood sugar is a little high but not horribly so.  I don't have fever.  My blood pressure feels it might be a high but I have no way of knowing other than feeling.   We've ordered a cuff and stethoscope, lemon oil and roller ball as suggested but waiting for them to arrive...I just took it easy today.  I find it often pays off to be kind to myself when I'm feeling a little puny, just as it often pays off to give myself a kick in the pants when I'm feeling lazy.

We woke this morning to heavy skies.  Shortly after breakfast we had a thunder shower.  I was sitting here at the desk studying my Bible chapter and looked out the window.  There on the blue planter on the corner of the patio sat a Mocking bird.  He was having a shower.  He fluffed his feathers and shook them and just had a good wash before he finally flew off to get out of the rain.   That little planter has a bird on it at some point most days when I'm at my desk and I've so enjoyed viewing them closer than I might normally get a chance to see them.

It just so happened, I was coloring in a verse in Psalms19:  "The heavens proclaim the glory of God and the skies display his craftsmanship."       I thought to myself as I sat there watching that bird that indeed so much speaks of the wonders of God.   How often is it likely I'll catch a sweet bird taking advantage of a storm to have a good wash?

After I'd made the bed and swept the floors I decided it was far too gloomy to go stand in a dim closet reading faint expiration dates on cans.  I took up my genealogy notebook and did TWO posts(!) for that blog.  I'm very happy with my work for today and since it took a goodly portion of the afternoon as well as the rest of my morning, I'm satisfied.   It re-inspired me to pay a little attention to that blog once more.  I have so much to share with others who might be only starting out.  Not necessarily the most accurate or best documented but good enough to give them a start.  I've been very careful about putting down dates and making sure my information was correct after seeing so many brutally wrong histories online.   

John reminded me at lunch time to be easy on myself that even though I might not feel good, it's not uncommon for blood pressure medication to make you feel 'off'.  "You got accustomed to working with your pressure high.  Now it might not be as high, so your body is protesting."   Which reminded me that the nutritionist at the hospital had warned me that I wouldn't feel well when my blood sugar came down because my body had grown accustomed to operating at that higher level of sugar.  A good reminder from John to be patient.  

He dug around a bit and asked why I was so worried over my blood sugar and blood pressure at present.  I said that the two can go hand in hand and will wreak havoc on a body.  He agreed but he pushed a little harder and pinned me down to when I really began to feel unwell...It was along about November when mounting stress and pressure was brought to bear upon me in an almost non-stop manner from an outside source right up through Christmas.  He nodded but reminded me that the stressor has been removed which is mostly true.  I am still dealing with the fallout in many ways.  I think it's the residue of having to cope in the aftermath and wondering how we shall manage it that has helped make it continue to be stressful in my mind.

I really don't have an answer except to promise myself I'll monitor both  blood pressure and blood sugars and adjust as I can and if needed will call the doctor and go for a return visit.  Truth told, I'm being very impatient about it.   

And it would do me just as well to remember that per the labwork that came back, my A1C level is at pre-diabetes levels NOT at diabetic ones.   Whatever my blood sugar may be reading at the moment, I think being in the pre-diabetes range after being diagnosed as full diabetic is something!

Meals:  Eggs, Hashbrowns, Toast

Pizza (leftovers) and half an orange

Kielbasa with Pierogi and Steamed Cabbage

Wednesday:  Another easy day behind me.  The house held well over the past two days since we were both occupied with projects.  I worked on the two posts for the genealogy blog and John had some project involved with the dishwasher.  He found the problem.  It was a seal inside the pump.  It had grown brittle and worn.   It would cost less to replace it than to buy a new dishwasher but every other moving part is also 24 years old.  It might sound counterintuitive but I just don't want to replace all the possible parts to the tune of 2/3 or 3/4 the cost of a new machine.    

This morning, I was just about to head into the pantry to work when Sam texted asking if he might use the guest room for a 2 hour long meeting.  I told him sure.  I had 15 minutes before he would be here so I hurried in and got two complete shelves checked before he arrived.  I was surprised at how much I got done in that short time frame.

Last night we went on to service as planned and my gracious goodness it was so amped up and heavy with worship as well as with the sermon.  The speaker was Michael Rowan who is a zany looking sort.  Much to my surprise he is the son of our senior adults pastor!    Michael Rowan proved to be a very dynamic and funny speaker but boy did he drive it all home with his sermon.    You can access this sermon and the two others in this Spiritual Emphasis session at The Assembly of Warner Robins on YouTube.   

At one point, I found myself sobbing hard.  I felt a closeness to God I haven't experienced in years, which I think has been evident but since November I've been making it a point to really search and seek for God in the everyday things.   I'll be writing about this in a future dedicated post.   Sometimes we let our circumstances become blinders that prevent our seeing how far off the path we've fallen.

This morning I did minor chores then hurried to begin this new study for the upcoming post.   Now I've got my facts and scriptures I hope I can get my post written out this week, as well.

About 12 it occurred to me we'd want lunch.   Since we plan to attend the last service in this Emphasis week tonight, I decided to have a heavy lunch.   Last night, though we'd eaten before we left, we were really hungry again when we came in.  I made us a light snack of a baked chicken tender each and we had that with honey mustard.  It was just enough to cover the hunger and not so much that it made it unpleasant later when we were ready to lie down and sleep.

Yesterday afternoon, Bess and Josh came by with a piece of cake that Josh made over the weekend.  It is a chocolate version of Wacky Cake and was made per a recipe in one of Josh's Amelia Bedelia books.   He frosted it with a light lemon frosting.  We couldn't sample it yesterday since we were still fasting but we had it today after lunch and it was really a good cake.   

It made me think that perhaps Josh might like his own cookbook and apron and oven mitts for his birthday this year.  I'll start looking now to purchase that for later when it is his time.  But first, we've five birthdays coming up right away and one trailing along 12 days after the others, so February babies come first.    For John's birthday I've bought him a ticket to a men's conference at our church.  The Saturday morning conference will be taught by Dr. Mark Rutland, a pastor and author whom John and I both love dearly.

We'd talked to Bess about borrowing their truck to take off the dishwasher.   She was soon back over at the house to load it up.  John happened to be showering, getting ready to go and I went out to help her.  She flat refused and hefted that dishwasher up off the porch and then up onto the back of that truck as though it was nothing.  I did tell her she was a stubborn stubborn girl to do that without any help at all.  Bess is very strong for all that she looks like she mightn't be, but I was concerned over her achy back.  However, the job was done and far too quickly for any help to intervene.

I must go start getting ready.  The weather has cooled off considerably in the past 12 hours.  Tomorrow night I shall have to cover my plants on the porch once more as we'll be back into freezing nights.

Meals:  Toast with Bacon

Loaded Nachos with homemade Ranch dressing (this turned out very well indeed.  I've never made Ranch at home and I think I shall just make my own from now on when I want a wet dressing.  I'll buy the packets for those few occasions when I need to use it in a recipe).

A glass of milk and peanut butter crackers for me, John had 1/2 a cheese sandwich and on the way home we bought a single cheeseburger each and shared a small order of fries.   

Thursday:  I've said this before and I'll share it one more time.   Our church service was absolutely awesome.  Our speaker was Pastor Jim Raley and he spoke on the Tabernacle and how it related to the process of seeking God.   Gracious goodness!   I do hope someone among you will go listen to these sermons for our Spiritual Emphasis week.  

We stopped to get a single cheeseburger each and a small order of fries to share on our way home.  I was so disappointed (again) in the fries.  The last three or four time I've ordered them they are barely warm.   But the burger was hot and delicious.  I was so hungry by the time we stopped last night.

While we were ordering we'd let the windows down and the air was so soft and gentle.  It was still coming out of the south at that moment.  John let his window down too and we just enjoyed the breeze even though it was cooler than it had been.    However, on the way home (which is westward), about 15 minutes later, we were hit by a big gust of wind and leaves came flying at the car.   I nodded and told John, "There's that cold front coming in!"   By the time we'd gotten home 20 minutes later the wind was rough and pushy and the temperature no longer cool but downright cold.

When we went to bed last night we were ready to snuggle under the covers.  I was going to rub my cold feet against John's warmer ones and my foot went right through the sheet.  I was shocked.  I examine our sheets routinely to check for small tears or tiny holes and had seen nothing.   

So this morning I stripped our bed.  I pulled off the bottom fitted sheet (the one that was torn) planning to repair it but the tear was a good 8 inches long and within 1/2 inch there was a 6 inch tear.   I tested the fabric gently and the sheet nearly ripped in two with no effort at all on my part!    I  was happy I'd bought that extra set of sheets this past year, and I do still have two sets that I've been rotating but I wasn't pleased to lose that bottom sheet.  I'll order another bottom sheet to replace it.  That's the beauty of using nothing but white sheet sets.

I started a load of laundry after we had breakfast which was a 'Gathered Fragment' meal I'll share in a bit.  Then I headed off to the pantry to work on that some more.  Today's work took quite a bit longer because today I not only was checking expiration dates but was also rearranging areas to make them work better for me.   I was happy yesterday with my brief foray into the pantry but today revealed quite a few items that were expired.  Now most of these are canned or dried items that aren't going to go bad.  They will not be at best quality but they are not going to kill us if we eat them.  However, because they are expired, I'd like to use them as soon as possible.  It's a lot of food I'll need to actively plan to use though.   

I alternated between laundry and pantry and then between my Bible study and pantry and finally between my desk and the kitchen work today.  I've left unfinished tasks in several areas.   I need to inventory the pantry and I need to inventory what I need to use up.  I did at least stack all the expired things together  after I'd completely filled on bin.

I have laundry from the line sitting in a basket on a chair here in the living room.   My desk is stacked up with all the papers I pulled from my Home Notebook this afternoon.  Fortunately none of these are the sorts of things that really plague me to get up and do.  And supper is going to be easy peasy now.   I only need make our salad and put on a second side dish.

I ought to take time now to plan meals for the weekend.   Hopefully I can think to incorporate some of those items I need to use up sooner rather than later.

It's been a good day of work all around.  John has been messing about doing some sort of electronics works on his guitars and this afternoon he went outdoors and gathered limbs he's cut.   He said to me "Why am I tired?  I have so much to do!"  I reminded him he'd actually been busy all day long and he was tired because he'd been working.  I've learned in my days here at home that just staying busy even at what seems easy work will tire you out if you've been busy all day long.  

Meals:  Fried Egg, Oatmeal Muffins (This was my gathered Fragment item.  I had about 1 1/4 cups cooked oatmeal left from breakfast one morning and I used it in muffins this morning.  It made 12 big muffins.  I had to basically eyeball things as they went because there was no recipe per se.  I used brown sugar, flour, vanilla extract, walnuts, coconut flakes, 2 eggs, milk, baking powder and soda and a little oil.  I just kept adding ingredients until the oatmeal had taken on a muffin like consistency.  I did pretty well.  They are good!)

Hot Dogs, Home Fries (Making up for my disappointing fries last night, I chopped a potato into sticks and cooked on a cast iron pan in the oven.   Yum!)

Chicken Pot Pie, Green Beans, Peach Salad

Friday:  Why is it that some meals leave you full after eating but seem to disappear into cotton candy meals two hours later?   All this week, John and I have both been genuinely hungry about 8-9pm.   I've learned from past experience that going to bed two hours later having eaten nothing more means that I lie awake with belly growling and I wake the next morning with higher than normal blood sugar levels.   Yet choosing the right snack can be rather tricky when you've not been shopping in two weeks and have two more to go!   Cheese makes me dream weird dreams...Anyone else?  And does anyone else remember the Gomer Pyle episode where he was sleep walking and the tracked it back to his eating Welsh Rarebit for supper at a little home restaurant just before each episode of sleepwalking?   For those of you don't know Welsh Rarebit is basically a cheese sauce served over toast...

Anyway, there we were last night with grumbling tummies looking at each other saying "What do we have to eat?" 

Up this morning to make breakfast and fold clothes and wash dishes and make the bed and make bread and somehow the morning was gone like a flash.   I spent time in the pantry doing a proper inventory and still need to do kitchen cupboards but at present I'm satisfied to do it a bit at a time.   That's plenty good enough.

I took time to make up a menu plan for the weekend, which helped me see what my menu for tonight needed to include.  Venison roast is in the crockpot but I'm not serving it as a roast dinner.   We'll be eating chicken twice over the weekend and I don't want to come to Monday ready to cluck.

I still have a bin of papers to shred and the contents of my Home notebook to sort out into keep and trash.  We need to run the vacuum and sweep floors.  We have to take off trash. John's done laundry and promised to vacuum, we'll do trash together and I'll sweep.   The week is winding down rather quickly here for us and I'm okay with that.  It's been a busy week, full of good things and a nice mix of weather.  I'm ready to choose a book from my stack and read my way through what I hope is a quiet Saturday at home but we'll see how that goes when we get to it.

John and I have been riding high on our experiences this week at church and we talked about revival.   I told him I'd been thinking of it and while we all want revival to occur it never lasts.  It's just for a season.  I mentioned famed revivals that have taken place here in the U.S.  There was a huge Methodist revival that went off in the early 1800's and it impacted people deeply, as did Azuza St. on the west coast in the early 1900's.   There's been the Brownsville Revival and Lakeland Revival in Florida in the past two decades.  But eventually revival always dies back.

We discussed why this happens...I think it's because none of us humans can sustain revival forever.  It's nothing to do with being sinful or evil, but of being saturated so we can't take more in.   And each time we experience it, we then must take those experiences and live our lives through them, learning to reach God on our own, as well as impacting others with the changes we make in our own lives.    

Our pastor has certainly done a wonderful job of sending us out of the 21 day prayer and fasting with plenty of food to carry along with us for the next few months.  It's just up to us to remember to feed ourselves properly on the good things we received.

Meals:  Pancakes, Venison Sausage, Maple Syrup(I added two eggs, oatmeal, hemp seed, and flax seed mill into the pancakes to boost the protein and fiber of them.  If I'd had Yogurt I'd have added that too. There were plenty of leftovers to go into the freezer for another morning or two).

Tuna Melts, Chips, Tangerine 

Ropo Veja, Tortillas, Rice, Salsa, Green Salad (I've seasoned my roast with beef broth powder, tomato paste, smoked paprika, chili powder, onion and garlic powders, and some chipotle peppers (1) in adobo sauce.   I didn't have a recipe, just started tossing things into the slow cooker.)

I hope you all have had an excellent week!   Share if you've had a savings in anything or just share what your week was like.  I love hearing all about it.