Saturday: Yesterday I went into the local grocery to pick up some things for the weekend. Since we haven't yet been to do our proper once a month shop for routine stuff, I asked to run in on our way home to get cheese for Saturday's pizza lunch. No problem. As I got out of the car to go into the store, John mentioned I might want to buy chips for the weekend, as well.
Of course that led me to think of breakfast which typically is bagels only we had none. I thought cereal and bananas would be a nice change. I go back to the car with my few purchases (never just the one thing you start out for is it?) and mentioned to John that I'd got bananas and cereal for Saturday breakfast, as well as the snacks for the weekend. "Well what about milk?" "I have the shelf stable milk in the refrigerator. We'll use that. I won't buy milk here as I dislike the way their only brand tastes." "Oh," he said in a flat tone of voice that let me know the idea of my savings didn't appeal.
So this morning, I mention well after 9am that we can have breakfast any time he desires. He was apparently not so keen on food this morning...He lags about coming into the kitchen and finally comes in and there are two bowls of cereal awaiting milk, bread in the toaster, bananas ready to be sliced. He pushes the button down on the toaster, we slice bananas and the toaster pops. It's time to pour on the milk. He stands staring at the milk carton. "It's regular whole milk," I say. He stares some more. I open the lid and set the container down, waiting for him to make a move. He doesn't. So I pick it up and pour it over my cereal being sure to let him see that it does indeed look just like 'real' milk. He still doesn't move. Finally I realize what he's waiting on...So, even though we've yet to say blessing over our food, I take a spoonful of milk and cereal up and eat it. "Mmmm...it tastes good, sort of creamy..." Only then does that man take up the milk carton and pour it over his own cereal.
I've said before that one of the most frustrating things I face with my husband and my dog Maddie is that both are positive that I spend half my time devising ways to secretly poison them. Sigh. I truly didn't expect a struggle over a silly carton of shelf stable milk. Mind you, I wasn't positive it would be as good as it turned out to be, but I knew it was drinkable because towards the end of her life it's the only type of milk Granny would buy. Certainly I was aware that it tasted better than the brand available in the local grocery.
Still, I confess I didn't see that this was such a big hurdle. After all, he's had loads of powdered skim milk in his life. Why such hesitation over a carton of whole milk just because it's been altered slightly to be shelf stable? He did say, after he'd begun to eat, "That's pretty good..." Gee, thanks, honey. I didn't comment in return. I just couldn't bring myself not to say something snarky if I did open my mouth, lol.
In 27 years of living together I've fed John exactly two things he's found unpalatable. Two! Yet my record of successes cannot shake that undeniable belief that at some point I'm going to get him.
Never mind. I've a second carton about to expire...and I mean to restock this next month and put more of it on the shelf now that he's convinced it won't kill him to eat it.
Sunday: The alarms this morning went off with the same resonance as a school fire alarm. It shattered our sleep and set us both in motion immediately as we each tried to calm the irritating sound. I don't know why we both seemed to have turned the volume higher than usual but it certainly woke us! I wish it had made a difference in our arrival at church. Though we hurried as we usually do we were nearly a half hour late leaving home. We were late arriving at church. Song service was well underway.
And then in church the unexpected and startling announcement that the wife of one of our acquaintances had died. Do you remember the couple whose vow renewals we went to last August? We'd been invited to go out of town with them to their renewal service this year as well. Just Thursday night at the men's meeting, John spoke with Mike and came home with a prayer request for the couple. Just a typical life circumstance that needed to be resolved, nothing dire. And yesterday this gentle soft spoken, shy wife had passed away suddenly.
After service I spoke to another of the staff who told me that Barb had been at service Wednesday night and was her usual smiling self. There was a hush at church today. Shock. Everyone who spoke said "We never know..." and we don't, that's truth.
Mike was at church this morning. He was on time, too...I told John I don't know if I could have gone to church and yet, on second thought, I really do feel my church would close ranks about me, as populated as it is. I guess, in the same circumstances, if I could possibly be there I'd have done the same. Why stay home alone waiting for whatever is next? The week ahead will be hectic and wearying and the loneliest he'll likely face. It's that connection one with another that makes the loss of a person so devastating.
And yet life goes on.
After church we spoke to this one and that one and then we went to the grocery store. It made sense to go ahead and shop while we were in town rather than go back again later in the week. I was a bit over my budget but there was nothing to put back, no splurge item. Just milk and produce for the month ahead, necessary items right off my list. I'd already pared it twice when I went over it last night and again this morning. There was nothing more to cut.
And all through the day, John and I kept talking of Mike and Barb. This is the fifth of our acquaintance to lose a spouse in the past year, the third in the past month. We both mentioned how hard it would be if we lost one another.
Home. Lunch. Putting groceries away. Hanging out laundry. Making the bed. Life goes on.
Monday: Saturday, Sam was out on his new tractor mowing the overgrowth down. The land is in a state of reclamation. I'm so proud to see it come back. I feel it is momentous. I wish our own property weren't so far gone, but it would require more than a bush mower and tractor. Now it's either let it be wooded land or we bulldoze it all. Hiring the dozer would run in the thousands as we'd need an operator to do the work. Not going to happen.
But the point of this post is that Sam sent me a text saying "There's a path you can use to walk up to Granny's now." I thanked him and I meant it. I let him know I'd be heading up that way in a day or two to look around.
So this morning, though I had only made breakfast and washed dishes, I took up my walking stick and went out. I weeded a few flower pots and then called the dogs to go with me.
My first stop was at the old cemetery. Sam had completely mown down the small cedars and 14 or more feet of 5 foot tall brambles and brush. The dogs walked into the graveyard. I noted that while I myself couldn't go in, the inside wasn't nearly as overwhelming overgrown as the outside about the fence had been. I told the occupants within that we were going to reclaim their space for them.
Then I headed up to Granny's. I walked carefully because the ground was quite uneven but it was such a joy to walk through the field gate and see the house. I checked for plants that might be blooming, and a few rarer ones I remembered. I was able to step in the back porch door and noted that while there were things I'd dearly love to sort through there was nothing there that made me feel I absolutely needed to claim it.
I am a plunderer. I have been since I was a child. I love nothing better than to open up boxes and pull out drawers and stand before shelves and examine things within. I remember asking Granny on visits, "Please Granny, can't I open a drawer and plunder for a bit?" And she'd let me, too. A drawer of her dresser, the sewing machine drawer, the button box...I loved handling the items in each and I put them back carefully. But there were other times, too that she'd say "No" and distract me another way. I restrained myself today from sorting thru things though I did open a single box enough to see what was within. I recognized a piece of fabric from a dress I had worn one summer in the 60's...No, I didn't need it but it was funny that the first thing I'd peek at was something I'd recognize from my own past.
I nosed about the yard a bit and then I looked over at Sam's house and noted that the three children were in the bedroom window waving at me. Well the boys were waving. Millie was dancing in the window. I headed over to that yard and met the UPS man at the gate. We walked up to the house together. Josh opened the door for me.
The children had been playing in the boys room. Josh was out of school due to a teacher planning day/holiday of some sort. Bess had gone to the chiropractor and Sam was at a zoom meeting. It's nice he can be home with the family for his job. The kids were 'cleaning' their room, which meant Josh was picking up, Isaac was playing with toys and Millie was following Isaac.
Sam's meeting ended and we spoke a couple of minutes then I was going to head home. As I went out I asked him to see if he could salvage an old tree in the side yard that is irreplaceable. It's not a huge tree but it's so lovely in the spring. I'd noted that most of the surviving plants at Granny's are the ones she got as pass along plants that were already old disease resistant stock and they have held up well. I daresay come another hundred years or so stock from these same plants will continue to bloom.
Sam offered to walk over to the yard so I could point out the tree to him. Well darn it all, I got tangled up in a bramble and when I got my foot loose I put it down in a hole, lost my balance and fell. Sigh. He helped me up and brushed me off like I was a child. I was so fortunate that where I fell was where Bess and he had cut and dug out stumps so the ground was soft as pillows in that place. Of course there were ants and I note now that I was bitten quite a bit more than I'd realized. I'm just so grateful I wasn't hurt at all.
I showed Sam the tree, then he said he'd just walk me to the gate. I thought he meant the field gate. That boy walked me all the way to the gap in the fence at our house. I kept assuring him I was just fine but he said he just wanted to talk to me a little. I know good and well he was meant to be back at the house with work and children and he was 'looking after me' which he's been doing since he was about 7. I really am just fine. My bad knee doesn't even hurt and it's the one I landed on when I went down. Sam told John that I fell very gracefully.
John and I went to get mower gas and take off the trash. We sat on the back porch when we got back and talked a bit and then he went back to the old cemetery to cut out a few more trees. He's as excited as I am to reclaim that graveyard. Not a soul in it belongs to me, but they do belong to this land. I've promised he and Sam that I'd look up the cemetery on the county historic site to see how many graves are supposed to be there, so I guess I'll go ramble down a few rabbit trails.
Wednesday: John and I were out early yesterday morning in the graveyard and made quite a bit of headway. We worked a good three or four hours and wore ourselves slap out but we could see about 2/3 of the place was cleared at the time we stopped. We had huge piles of debris of branches and trees and such that had been cut.
My research said there may be 12 graves there. There's an old stacked rock covered grave and then two headstones but where the rest are supposed to be or if they are even for certain there is anyone's guess.
Mama and my brother placed four headstones there for my two uncles, my dad and Granny a few years ago and I think it highly likely if other graves are out there that they might have placed those headstones and buried ashes (however shallow) atop older graves but I don't know. In many old cemeteries it is more than evident where the 'sinks' denoting old graves are. I simply don't see them in this one
It has turned off much cooler once again, not cold but in the 60F range (Sunday it was 83F so quite a difference). It was also overcast so working was rather pleasant as we neither of us got too hot. I took photos to send to Sam and Bess and while I was doing that John went to the house to get his mower and took down some brambles and sedge grass so there's even more cleared than when I took the pictures. We aren't done but it's about halfway done at this point.
When we got back home, I figured I'd go for broke on the hard labor end of things and went ahead and moved stuff about the porch and about in the back entry so that our appliances could be brought in with ease when they arrive today. I had muscles like jello when I was all done, lol, but I did nothing else after that except make us supper and stew at the messy stacks of things. I don't like my things to be out of place and so much had to be moved that the house could only look like a hot mess.
This morning I've stayed near the phone. I have a four hour window for delivery so I went ahead and started my supper (Traditional Corned Beef) and a small pot of chicken soup for our lunch. I worked on some financial stuff and cleaned up the laundry closet as well as I could while all the appliances are out of it. I wiped down walls, mopped floors, and all that sort of thing. I figured it might as well be made as clean as possible. I also took measurements in my mind to see how it might suit me as a true pantry one day, if I ever get the end of the back porch enclosed to become a laundry room as I hope. I think that closet is a little smaller than the guest room closet but it's roomy enough and tall enough to really make good use of the space. In the meantime, it is a laundry space and not ideal as the washer must be shoved clean into one corner and the dryer pulled at least a foot from the other wall in order to open the door. As a laundry space, there's a lot of wasted area that we simply can't use at all.
I'm keeping my phone close by me since I don't want to risk missing the call saying the delivery people are 30 minutes away.
Thursday: All the appliances are in place and have been well prayed over for a good long life...but just let me say this: If ever again in this life I need to buy new appliances again, I'll just go right on and pay for the installation, as well! John spent more time lying on the floor trying to get things to attach where they meant to attach, not drip or leak, etc. these past two days than is fair for any man...and where is he at the moment? Lying on the patio with his hands under the mower trying to repair that, as it was broken on Tuesday!
The appliances are lovely. We haven't a thing to wash at present because John did all the clothes before taking out the old washer and I've been doing all the dishes by hand. I'm not exactly sure the dishwasher is in as it ought to be. The lines and electric are fine but I think it's going to have to be adjusted somehow because it is sooo much lighter than my old machine and apparently just a wee bit smaller for the space. However, the appliances all look just absolutely lovely and I mean that sincerely.
The washer and dryer are a bit taller but smaller in width so now we have a foot wide space either side of them that isn't required space at all. They both fit nicely right in the doorway area which means getting to the wash will be considerably easier than it was in the past for me.
I seemed to have done nothing but been on standby since the appliances arrived yesterday. "Hand me the flashlight..." "You got a pair of pliers handy?" "Paper towel!" Oh my gracious! Just the moment he'd get frustrated and tell me to go away and I'd get involved in anything else, he'd need me to run go fetch something. Nothing much of my tasks got done.
It's been quite a week...
I went outside while he was gone into town for water fittings for the dishwasher (third trip this morning) and weeded more of the flower beds. I also carried out compost and while going past last summer's flower bed, spied my first Sweet William in flower which made me laugh out loud. I noted there are more of those plants coming up. I can't wait until it's truly warm enough to plant flower seeds. In the meantime, it was nice to have my hands in the soil as I tugged up the weeds. I figured the weeds would be easy to get up since we had heavy rain showers last night and they were.
My mind is preoccupied with what to make for dinner tonight. We've so many leftovers in the fridge and I'm trying to think just how we might use them to make something tasty. I decided against Chicken Pot Pie because I made a small apple pie for us from frozen pie crust and wrinkly apples from the fruit basket. I just don't feel we need another pie crust this week. But what else might I make? The fridge is so full I feel ridiculous that I am struggling so hard trying to figure it out. Preferably I'd use chicken...I think I'll go dig through my recipe file and see what I might come up with.
The wind is blowing and I am hearing sweet gum balls that are coming off the tree rolling across the roof. Some make it over the top and roll down the front porch roof. Some slam into the vents and ping. And this last one made it to the peak of the roof but rolled right back down on the back side of the house. It's a bit like living inside a pinball machine, I think, lol. It's beautifully sunny outdoors if the wind is gusty as can be. I woke to phone notifications of tornado warnings but we've had nothing that even vaguely resembles that sort of weather...However it's a reminder that the season is with us from now until well into fall.
Friday: More work in the cemetery this morning. It's now about 3/4 of the way clear. Not perfect yet. There's a lot of branches and such that we must get up and still a few missed vines or stems but it's mostly clear now and it's very gratifying to see it looking so much better.
I only had an hour to devote to the cemetery today and told John that was my limit. I even checked my phone to see what time it was as I walked out of the back door and it was exactly 1 hour and 2 minutes later when I looked at my phone again. The reason I had a time limit was because I needed to head back home to put the bread in for it's last rising before baking. I also wanted to make Banana Pound cake since my bananas all got very ripe very quickly this week. And then there was my Shabat cleaning to be done. So quite a full morning planned.
John was not idle during that time. He went over to Sam's after our work in the cemetery and mowed the lawn over there, then he strimmed (that's Brit speak for weed eating) around our house in preparation for mowing the first part of next week.
I was surprised to be all done with everything I'd wanted to do before lunch. We took off our trash and Sam's and then we came home to have lunch...
Anyone else have meal times thrown off by the time change? Ours have been. Lunch is being eaten somewhere nearer 2pm most days and supper is nearer 7pm lately. I'm a little thrown off by it all but no matter how I try, it's that time before I can get a meal together.
John's done his first load of wash and used the dryer. I'll be using the dishwasher for the first time this evening after we eat. I'm so happy to have our new appliances. Looking at the stats on all three machines, I told John if we used them daily the cost to use would run around 1 month of our lowest electric bill each year. We don't use our machines that often. Twice a week at most for all of them so the cost to operate is much lower.
Well that's the way the week has gone here. Hope you all had a great week. Come share how your week went.
14 comments:
I have to admit that I was the one leery of the shelf stable milk and did not want to use it. I was really surprised at good it is. I love that your family is clearing out the graveyard and how awesome to be able to go to your Granny's old house. Falling is the pits and I am glad you were not hurt.
Mom's recovery is slow but she is a little better each day. They backed her off the pain meds too soon but now are giving her meds when she has PT so she is able to work on mobility. She still has a long road to go. I really appreciate those of you who are praying for her.
We arrived home from the lake a day early because we knew that Monday we were going to be on deck early. We had a recall visit from the appliance repair guy to calibrate my oven and level the stove. The stair lift was also installed on Monday and then they were back on Wednesday to make some adjustments. It is such a relief to have it. For 15 years my right leg has not been able to lift me because of a car accident injury so my poor left leg has to do all the work on stairs. I just could not do it anymore. That first night when I went to bed after not dragging myself up those stairs I could not believe that I was not in pain. I have to admit though that I am afraid of heights and I am still a little afraid of being carried up on that chair. A part of me pictures that thing flying back down the track and crashing at the bottom.
We went to Sam's Club to finish up my membership. I joined and got it all back in gift cards. Hubby and I switch off memberships year by year so we can join when there is a deal. We picked up a $4.98 rotisserie chicken which fed us well for 5 meals. I do not like the broth made from a rotisserie chicken so I pitched the carcass, GASP!
Yes, the time change has really mixed up things. We have eaten super at 8 some nights and way too many nights this week I heard the clock bong midnight a little after we got in bed. Then we are up at 8:30 and eating breakfast at 10. I guess really it is just the clock that is wrong! We just didn't move with it!
Karen in WI, That is awesome that you have a practitioner who does homeopathic treatments. I have been so fortunate to have mine only 30 minutes away. She does have patients from all over that fly in for treatment. Our lives would have been so different without her taking care of us.
I've seen hundreds of those ads with the stair step thing and it always goes soooo slow, but I confess I was a bit alarmed at your imagining being flown back down again, lol. Prayers continue for your mom. And I get you on the rotisserie chicken carcass. It's almost like the stuff they inject the birds with gets in the bones though the rotisserie bird is always delicious.
How funny that just today Rick did not want to use the shelf-stable milk I had in the fridge either. I used it in the potato soup on Wed and he never noticed the difference. I had to assure him it was "real" milk only Ultra pasteurized. He did use it on his cereal with no further comment. Men!
I took Wed-Fri off from work so I'm having a 5 day weekend. I can thoroughly understand how retired folks forget what day of the week it is! It was Saturday all day today for me and it is only Friday!
We've been to the City twice this week in the middle of the day. I think we will like being retired. It was nice to get our errands done and be home before dark. (Do I sound old or what?!)
My house is clean for the weekend and the laundry mostly done. Tomorrow we will watch the Littles and then I will still have 1.5 days to relax.
Finally, we have our country cematary just a mile down the road. It's affiliated with our old church, where R was raised. They care for it but our neighborhood used to meet right before Memorial Day and do a massive cleanup. R's ancestors, grandparents, parents and old friends are all there. One of our grandsons is buried there. Our plot is there. It is like visiting family and friends when we go there and we make sure we visit each one we know. It is a beautiful view from that hill. I love going there.
We are having the same issue regarding meal times - mainly dinner (evening meal). It's been 8 p.m. or thereabouts several times this past week. I do enjoy it being light later.
Sorry about the fall but glad you weren't hurt.
Hello friend
I’m happy you have new appliances and I hope they de easy to get adjusted to.
I’m a fan of the shelf stable milk and have bought it for years. It saved me many trips to the store when my grands were here for daycare. I can still remember every one of them eyeing that box milk so suspiciously the first I made each one a sippy cup but all 8 of them approved of it once they tasted it.
My daughter in law with a phd in dairy told me ultra pasteurized makes the milk stay fresh longer and that many restaurants serve ultra pasteurized milk- like in the kid meal single serve containers.
Jeff had total knee replacement surgery on Monday and he came home on Wednesday- about 3 days too soon if you ask me. We’ve had some rough patches but he is starting to do much better.
I'm so sorry about your church friend losing his wife suddenly. Our community had a similar tragedy early in the week - a 66 year-old woman hadn't felt well, then just collapsed and died. Her poor husband - he used to be a volunteer fireman, so tried CPR, but she was gone. She was a lovely woman, one of the first people in this little village to befriend me when Greg and I first were married. She will be missed.
I love that you've taken on the cemetery project. It's hard work for sure, but peaceful and meaningful. I hope you get the chance to "plunder" at Granny's again. I'm sure there's a treasure or two for you, even if it's just something that spurs a comforting memory.
I'm glad you're enjoying the new appliances. We got a new washer/dryer set 7 years ago. The washer is top-loading, but it's taller than I was used to, and I have to stand on my tip-toes to reach things from the bottom of the drum. Sometimes I have to use the grabber to reach down in there.
We have snow showers in the forecast this week, but mostly enjoying early spring weather. Greg even worked on our mower today, just doing maintenance so it's ready when it's time to mow. There are green shoots popping up for daffodils, but nothing blooming yet. Lots of birds, though! A pair of cardinals singing in the magnolia tree last week drove my kitties wild. Lol. They spend much of the day on the back of the sofa stalking birds out the window.
I'm loving the time change. It would be okay with me if we kept Daylight Saving Time all year-round, but that would mean it would be dark until 9 a.m. in the winter. Not sure that would be a good thing.
Kay, that is funny indeed! lol Suspicious lot of men we have, lol!
We started true retirement just as social isolation hit...talk about getting used to a life change! Now I can say quite sincerely that there's much about it I do enjoy and the things I thought would bother me most, didn't. On the other hand, it took John quite a bit of getting used to.
Deanna, just a few ant bites and that was all the soreness I experienced from the fall...Cleaning the cemetery on the other hand left me sore...
Tammy, There's a part of me that knows if I went into the house I'd come home with armloads of things, because so much of what Granny had sparks memories for me. She was the sort that kept things forever, truly, not a changer upper of things like myself (which makes Josh complain that I change too much too often!).
The cemetery project is a good thing. Lately I've been thinking I need to put a concrete bench out there. I haven't told John yet but it seems to me we need one or two so there's some place to sit.
I love your note...I feel we've had a decent little chat with all you shared. I'm so glad I know you!
I'm glad to know you, too, my friend!
Benches at the cemetery would be perfect. When I was young, we lived just a few blocks from a large cemetery. Sometimes in the summer I'd pack a lunch and ride my bike there for a picnic. Being the eldest of five kids, and often in charge, I think the peacefulness drew me to the cemetery for a little alone time.
Tammy just what I'm picturing, just a little quiet spot to get away for a few minutes...and what is more peaceful than a quiet little cemetery?
Hi Terri - Such a fascinating post! First off, having an old cemetery on your property is so interesting and I love that your family is cleaning it up. But I am curious, was this an old townsite or a pioneer cemetery? Maybe you have shared about this before here but I don't recall the story of the cemetery. And having benches there to rest sounds perfect. Secondly, I am also curious about why your Granny's home still has her belongings in it? Again, maybe you have already shared about this but I might have missed this. I also love plundering or sorting as Jane Brockett calls it. I have all of my Grandma and Mom's vintage sewing things. I love to use them or even just to see them, it is a comfort to me! Blessings, Shirley
Terri, I had a good week and am loving a lazy Sunday at the present moment. I think it was so sweet of your son to mow a path to granny’s house and then to escort you back after your spill! It seems you greatly enjoyed your walk there and then how lovely to have a quick visit with the little ones. I guess I just assumed that granny’s house would have been emptied so I was surprised when you mentioned there were still things there.
I laughed about your husband being suspicious of the milk. I am too, but then I am from Wisconsin and we still drink raw milk (only from a well know organic farm). I have “make bagels” on my to do list too, I think we need cream cheese also.
I just got the regular things done this week and that is ok now that I am being treated for Lyme and feel less guilty for my frequent rests. I am just trying to ignore the deep cleaning I haven’t done and the fact that the weather is getting warmer which means that soon there will be outside chores and gardening. I think it is so lovely that you are cleaning up the graveyard!
Lana, I am so glad to hear that your mom seems to be on the road to recovery. I have been praying for June whenever I think of her as I go about my day. We are so lucky to have a MD who is also a homeopath and has training in other areas of natural medicine. The homeopathy will be much more gentle on my system as it gets rid of the Lyme than prescription drugs. I am also to take salt baths for detox, which make me sleep so wonderfully! 5 cups of epsom or sea salt and 2 cups baking soda.
Shirley and Karen, it's a long story which I will have to share in a post about why Granny's stuff (the majority of it) is still in her house.
But because Shirley asked about the property, there was many years ago a home built on the property adjoining ours that faces the main roadway in. It was built around 1800 or so and was a Federal House with double front doors, a narrow steep hidden stairwell (think New England type stairs) that went up to the upper story and a detached kitchen. It was a plantation at one time and the man who owned that house in the mid 1800s lived and died there and this property which was also his and part of the parcel of land he'd bought, has the cemetery where he is buried. It is not uncommon in these rural areas to find small family cemeteries. So common in fact, that within 1 mile of my home there are five known cemeteries and who knows how many that might have been forgotten. I am curious as to why with so many older homes in this section there are no known slave cemeteries which there really should have been.
Hi Terri - Thanks for the information about the local, small cemeteries in your area. That is very fascinating! Blessings, Shirley
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