Diary of a Homemaker's Week: Blowing Off Steam

Saturday:  Did not sleep at all last night.  Not one minute.  I've no idea why not but I didn't stay in bed last night and toss and turn. I got up and did some maintenance work on my phone which has been bothersome lately.  I rocked in my chair and waited for dawn.  Turns out I didn't have to wait alone.  John was up about 6am himself.  And while the sky got lighter we never saw a sunrise due to the cloud cover.

I was hungry by the time 7am rolled around.  I went out to the back yard and snipped some chives to put in my scrambled eggs and cream cheese.   I love cream cheese and chives in scrambled eggs and to go out in the yard to get my own chives, could only be topped if I had chickens and could have gone out to collect eggs, too!

We went out this morning. I wanted a hair cut and not being sure when I'd get time other than the weekend, we decided we'd go today.  I don't typically do such on a Sabbath but sometimes I have to if I'm going to fit things in my week.   After my haircut we went into the grocery next door. I wanted to pick up some items on sale and get Gramma's Fried Chicken.   The sales items were for my pantry: 5 ounce packets of yellow rice and some canned pastas.   John has gotten quite an eye for finding sale priced chicken.  He found a big roasting chicken in the meat case and it was only $1.01 a pound.  I knew I had three whole hens in the freezer and I could easily fit another one in since we've just eaten a whole roaster this past week.   So I added that to my freezer 'pantry'.  I also added boxes of mac n cheese mix to the pantry.  Not necessary, but good to have.

Then we came home.  Lest you think I took a nap, I didn't.  Not because I was unwilling but whatever had kept me awake last night was apparently still keeping me  awake this afternoon.  I have a feeling I'll sleep well tonight!

Sunday:  Do you know what woke me this morning?  An alarm...and the sound of tearing cloth followed by John saying something he seldom to never says.  I suspected it was a pillowcase.   I'd noted a 1.5 inch tear in one Friday morning and hadn't removed to mend thinking I'd take it off the pillow today.   John came into the kitchen after I'd had some time alone with coffee to 'tell' me.  I assured him I'd heard it all.  "I think it was the sheet..."  "I saw a tear in the pillowcase. I think it was that."    

Well much later in the day I went to pull up the sheet on our unmade bed and sure enough it was the sheet.  It was well and truly torn.  This is the same sheet I'd just patched two weeks ago.  Those patches earned us an extra week's use but I won't try and mend it again.  The tear occurred in the same general area as the mends and is obviously just a very weak section.   The shortest part of the tear was about 8 inches and the longer portion nearly twice that.   I put it in the trash.  I'll put another sheet on my list of things to buy, along with pillowcases.

We had a very good service at church today with our former pastor filling in for our current pastor.  Dr. Merrill gave a very good sermon and we in first service really enjoyed it.  He gave some powerful insights.  I'll be chewing on some of that sermon all week long, for sure.

Of course, John wanted to talk to this one and that and I waited as patiently as I could but I wanted to hurry home.  I'd asked the family across the field to join Taylor and Katie with us for dinner today.  I took time yesterday evening to make Coleslaw and slice tomatoes.  We had our fried chicken but I still needed to put the French Fries in the oven and I wanted to make some rolls.  Well I barely had time to get it all ready.   Samuel didn't come but the rest of the family did.  

I so enjoyed hearing from all three of the older kids about their school teachers and listened to them talk through their lunch.  Caleb ate in the kitchen with the older kids but I couldn't put Millie there too because the high chair hasn't got a tray and is too tall for that table.  I contemplated looking about for another high chair but I think I'll look for an additional booster seat instead, since that will be the most needed item in a few months time.  

And then everyone was rushing away.  Taylor had to return home earlier than expected, Bess decided the boys and Millie needed the rest of an afternoon nap, Caleb stayed here with us and napped.   It was awfully sweet to have them all.  

After his nap, Caleb celebrated by learning how to climb up into one of the chairs.  He was right proud of himself and sat chuckling happily.  When his mama returned he went to get into the chair and had his angle all wrong and couldn't do it.  Boy did he get frustrated and he pitched quite a fuss over it, lol.  I said, "Caleb you're not doing it the way you did earlier...You need to move closer to that side near the window..." and doggone if he didn't look at me, and then move over and up he went all over again.

After everyone was gone at last, I stripped and made our bed, cleaned the bath and got dishes put away.  

To top off my fine day, I had words with someone over something and am pretty sure both of us regret it...Nope it wasn't John.   In the past, no grudges were held and I don't expect any will be this time either, but it did take the taste of the sweetness of the day down quite a few notches as things of this sort often do.  Ho hum.  

Monday:  I woke in a decent enough mood, but somehow before breakfast it had begun to disintegrate into a less nice one.  I found myself being testy with John, prone to raise my voice first with Caleb and then remember to speak correction lovingly after, and just generally fumed and mentally spewed at every one and every thing.   Gracious!  Where did all that come from?

Checking in with myself a bit later, I discovered that (a) I am tired  (b) information shared with me that was none of my business and which I hadn't asked to have shared with me,  was disturbing and had generated a whole line of 'what if...' thoughts, (c) John's refusal to deal with two fairly minor repair issues both of which are chronic things is bothering me no end.  One of them, he is waiting for 'someone else' to tend to.  If I look into the future, ten or twenty years might pass before that someone else remarks upon it and likely doesn't remember that once upon a time they had said they'd deal with it.  The promise was made six months ago.  

The other is a recurring repair that we've no idea why we must keep making. It's a leaky bathroom sink.  This is a NEW faucet and it's leaking.  We seem to have a constant drip in that sink all of the time, but then it starts this thing where it is basically running a slow and steady stream.  Each time I've mentioned to John that it needs to be repaired his first response is "What did you do to it?!"  I have given up. I no longer will use the bathroom sink faucets at all.  I'll use the tub faucet or go to the kitchen and use that faucet.   

Caleb was in the mood to test every boundary today.  If there was a drawer or cabinet door he's been told to leave he's had his hand on them and opened them all about 100 times.  And to help us with possible mini heart attacks, he's now climbing into chairs and then steps off them like there isn't 18 inches between his foot and the floor.  Honestly, I'm beginning to see wisdom in those antique  'playpens' I've seen that basically look like a cage.  I'm not even kidding...

later:  John came in from mowing and told me he'd been in quite a mood while outdoors.  He had argued with this one and that one in his head.  He also said he'd brought in tools to fix the sink but wasn't sure he'd bother with it today...I told him I understood perfectly how he felt about being upset with everyone.  I'd been upset with folks myself.  "Like who?"  I ticked off three or four and finished up "And with you..." "About what?!"  "The pantry light and the bathroom faucet.  And here you are bringing in the tools to fix the sink"  "Why were you so upset over that?"  I explained that I'd asked him several times to see to the faucet and I was tired of watching water drip continuously, or worse, for the silly thing to just run.  I made sure to say that I wasn't faulting his past work on the faucet.   That's the third one we've put in and we've done two in nearly as many years.  

Well, bless the man and I mean that.  He took up his tools and spent five minutes changing out something or other called a 'cup' and said "It's still dripping but only about a drop a minute now..."  I suggested we look into buying a better quality faucet since all we've ever bought have been cheaper ones but assured him I was okay with one drip a minute.  It was watching the stupid thing drip every second that bothered me.   

Caleb was sweet this afternoon and less prone to testing.  I guess maybe we all were just out of sorts in our own ways.  We had a pretty good time until I fed him supper.  I think the issue was that he wanted to play with the spoon and I didn't let him.  He's starting to say words I can understand here and there but I wish he could've told me why he was so upset this evening.

Katie came in on time and Caleb was delighted to play for a bit more with her watching   He confiscated my laundry basket and put in the puppies, the vintage metal trash can, and one of the wooden boxes John's dad made and then he climbed in himself.   We've no idea what he was playing but he was happy with it whatever it was.

Katie sat gazing at him for a long time and then said, "Dad....do me a favor?"  John cautiously said "What's that?"  "Hold him while I give him a hair cut..."   So Caleb got his second haircut.  He had the loveliest little blond curls on the back of his head but when he left he was looking more like a toddler boy.  It made me think of Isaac's beautiful head of curls.  His disappeared with his first haircut, too.

I was thinking earlier today that I spent a good bit of time with Josh and Isaac both at Caleb's age.  I haven't had the opportunity to spend that much time with any of the girls in the family yet, but I have these three boys and all at this age.  I hope I've impacted them in a positive way. 

Tuesday:  Some mornings, I wish I could just lie in bed for the better part of a morning.  However, 7:15 comes and I know that if I'm to shower and have coffee I should get up.  Now and then I might skip the shower but I'm NOT skipping coffee.  It's for everyone's betterment if I have that coffee, lol.   I wanted the shower pretty badly this morning.  I stepped over one of those dining chair baby barriers yesterday and did something to my hip.  Add in routine muscle strain from lifting Caleb and hot water seemed like a very good idea before I began another day.

I had coffee and somehow got 'lost' sitting there and next thing I knew Katie and Caleb had arrived.

I made a peace offering of fresh chicken broth to Sam.  Bess and Millie came over to visit and get it.  Little Miss is no more vocal than Caleb but she has a clear understanding and appropriate use of nod and shaking of head.  When I changed Caleb's diaper she offered to take the diaper to the trash can.  Caleb's not at either place, just yet.  He can shake and nod his head and sometimes he uses it appropriately and sometimes not.   Millie climbed a couple of weeks before him, too.  It's just interesting to see the differences between the two who are  three months apart.

Curious thing.  I seem to have tossed all my reminder notes on Saving money that I kept in my notebook of keepers.   When and why I deemed it necessary to rid myself of those is beyond me.  Glad I kept a semi record of those thoughts here on the blog.  I'll just have to run back through old posts and make a new set of notes or print them off for myself.

Caleb's awake and ready to get up from his nap, so off I go.

Wednesday:  Not a great night.  I was awake a lot but I did sleep.  Trouble was whenever I slept I had nightmares and then I'd wake feeling restless and frustrated.   I was fine when I went to bed and hadn't eaten anything that might cause nightmares...anyone else have visions of Gomer Pyle and Welsh Rarebit?

I did at least have the luxury of sleeping in a bit this morning.  I was out of bed before 8:30 and stumbled sleepily into the kitchen looking for a cup of hot coffee when John told me he was changing his plans for the day...and naturally it meant that mine too must change.  Suddenly what I'd meant to do anyway had to be done immediately and though he said "No hurry..." well I knew it was going to be one hot stinking sort of day and the sooner we got out in it the sooner we could get home and get back out of it.  My coffee got cold as I hurried through things.

And since this week is apparently my week to blow off steam, how many more of you would raise a hand to this question?  Does your husband sit and wait patiently watching television while you throw together breakfast, make the bed, try and clear up the kitchen, feed the pets, do the necessary tasks all BEFORE you can get yourself ready and then ask why you are so flustered?   

By the time we left this morning I was flustrated as we say here in the South, which means that I was both flustered and frustrated and my temper had taken a nasty bit of a turn to go along with the rushing around.   I reasoned with myself that I'd have done all the same things had we not been going out but truth told, it was the fact that I was now on someone else's schedule getting them done that bothered me.   Also, my afternoon plans were considerably altered because I'd now have to plan to put away groceries and then squeeze in what tasks I'd meant to do after those morning tasks.

We had a long conversation on our way over to the bank (which he wanted to go to in the town west of us even though there is a branch right next to Aldi), and then over to the town where we shop.  I do sort of get why going to the bank next to Aldi is a pain.  You can't just drive or even step across to that bank from Aldi.  There's a  grassy verge between the two places and the entrance and exit is around the corner on the opposite side of the bank but then again, it's just a matter of turning a little later and then coming in the back side of the Aldi parking area.  But maybe I needed that extra 25 mile trip to help rest me for grocery shopping.

Our conversation centered around how we'd cope if we lost one another through death.  We weren't just being macabre.  In the past year, we've had  four acquaintances who are younger than us lose a spouse.  Each time we soberly stop and ask one another, "How will you manage?"   Well truth is whoever is left here on earth will manage.  We're not the sort to give up and quit.  But I told John sincerely, "Mostly I'd be very lonely.  I mean, you are pretty much my only face to face sort of friend."  And that's the truth.  John has a lot of people who are acquaintances but I've been home for 25 years now and in a day and age when women seldom stay home.  We live in a rural area without any nearby neighbors other than Bess and Sam and we can't see their house from ours, so they aren't really close.

At Aldi I offered to buy a watermelon but John said "It's too bulky and heavy.   I don't want to deal with it."  I pointed out that the WHOLE watermelon cost less than the per pound than the  cut up stuff he's in favor of these days.  No, he didn't want it.  And if a melon was too bulky, I felt that he'd think buying case loads of green beans, tomato sauce and green peas was too much,  too so I bought just a handful of canned items.  I could have asked, but I was too far into my mood by that point to bother.  I did wonder if I shouldn't just start grocery shopping on my own again, but truthfully he's not typically hard to shop with...

Afterwards he offered to pick up a sandwich on the way home.  I knew just where he wanted to go and I told him no thanks.   I've had enough chicken, I'd like something else for a change.  And then we couldn't agree where else we'd go, not arguing but sort of snipping  at the same time, if you know what I mean and I said "Let's just go home.  I'll make something when we get there.  I've no idea what but something..." and then all the way home, I made up my mind for this or that and tossed out all ideas completely as being either too heavy or too tedious or not enough.   Sigh.

It was 2:30 by the time we unloaded grocery bags from the car and I started lunch.  That at least turned out decent.  We had BLT's and chips and fig bars.  Restored by a cold drink and food, I found my mood improved  and I went to work putting away everything I'd missed in trying to get lunch and cold foods put away at once.  Then I went outdoors to water the plants which were all desperate for a long drink and found the afternoon sun burning the back of my arms and legs while I worked.  I didn't even get to the plants on the front porch and patio.   I'll catch those later this evening.

Back indoors I put away the canned items in the pantry.

Reflections on shopping today: We came out with less food than we typically do and yet I spent around the same amount as always.  It was all, every bit of it, food and not one paper product, nor household item or cleaning item.  Just plain food.    Chuck Roasts were $6.99/pound today and it was the ONLY roast they had available.  I bought one but reflected that in less than two years the price has gone from $3.99/pound to $6.99/pound.     There were lots of things I wanted and skipped getting because it just seemed to me that they were pricey.   But truthfully, the things I'd typically buy weren't a great deal higher if at all high, except that Chuck Roast.  I didn't price any other meat except the 85/15 ground meat in the case was $4.79 and the little one pound chub in the freezer case was $3.85 for the 85/15.  Given a choice between two items today I generally picked up the cheaper of the two even if it wasn't what I'd normally have chosen.  So yes, prices are up, but really other than meat not enough to frighten me, just enough to caution me.

John's gone out to mow and I'm drained, too tired to tackle the housework I'd meant to do today.  I'll have to make supper of some sort here in a bit but first I'm going to have a cup of coffee, and take time to savor it, the way I couldn't this morning.

later:  I did enjoy my cup of coffee but I didn't finish going through instagram posts until almost 9pm.  Not anyone's fault but my own.  I kept putting down my phone to go do some small task.  This evening, I sorted out the fridge.  I'd pretty much just crammed things into it earlier.  I figured it would benefit me to organize it NOW and it did.  I was able to retrieve some items that got pushed too far into the back regions.  

I made supper, which involved making biscuit dough.  I went ahead and made up a pan of biscuits to bake.   That will be for breakfast one morning.  After I got my pigs in blankets made, I washed grapes, and cut into serving sizes.  If John picks up a BIG bunch of grapes he eats a BIG bunch.  If I cut  into smaller bunches, he will eat less.  More than one small bunch but rarely more than two.   Then I  divided up the milk and cut the big chuck roast in half.  Milk and roasts went into the freezer.

While supper baked, I went out to the back porch and blew off all the dust and then around to the patio to do the same.  I watered plants there and on the front porch.   

You know it poured rain this evening, right?  POURED for a solid hour or more.  So glad to have the rain.  It was so heavy I'll just bet even the plants on the porch got a good soaking, too.

Thursday:  Caleb didn't arrive until later in the morning.  I'm ashamed to say I took absolutely no advantage of the time I had to spare this morning.  I didn't even make my bed until after I'd fed him lunch and put him down for his nap!

The morning wasn't a total loss.  I did make waffles and get a load of dishes going but that's all.  

Katie picked Caleb up this afternoon about the time he was getting up from his nap.  No, I didn't get a thing much done after that, either.  I unloaded the dishwasher.  I thought of several jobs I might tackle.  I did none of them.

I worked up a couple of orders of things we need.  Online shopping is not my favorite thing but I do appreciate it in many ways.  For one thing, there's no impulse purchases, at least not for me.  For another I can scout around online and be sure I'm getting best price and my computer does a lovely thing where it looks for coupon codes for me when I'm shopping and tries them out. 

My purchases weren't exciting, but they are for things I hadn't been able to find in store or hadn't had time to get to a store to purchase.  A new top sheet to replace the one that ripped so badly, some slide lock storage bags, a pencil sharpener, baby aspirin, batteries, John needed guitar strings.   Next week we'll see quite a bit of the UPS man and the postal carrier but I got free shipping on every order made and again, there were no impulse buys.  Merely buying what I couldn't get at store or didn't have time to go  choose for myself.

John went to men's meeting tonight and what did I do?  Anything productive?   Yes, but not for the house.  I decided to do a mini spa night.  I put a mask on my face and soaked my feet prior to doing a proper pedicure.  I didn't polish my nails tonight but will do so tomorrow.  Tonight I've had cuticle oil and lotion soaking into my feet.  I might have been keeping toe nail polish freshened up but my feet had been sadly neglected.   It made me realize that since John hasn't worked, I've barely taken time for proper beauty care.

Here of late, I'm tired of all my makeup.  Mind you I've had everything in my case for  a year and typically I'd have long since replaced it.   I feel that my makeup has been looking a little harsh.  I want something different, softer.  Not sure just what that look is at the moment, but I'll scout around on Pinterest and a few other places and decide.

As for the rest of my evening, I spent all my time catching up with the vloggers I follow on YouTube.  I'd gotten quite behind and while I'm not a stickler for thinking I must see every episode (I skip many) there were some I had really wanted to watch.  

Tomorrow, John and I are going on a date.  I cut back on dining out money but we have a balance left from last month and considering all, I decided that rather than absorb it back into our account to pay bills with I'd rather we had a little enjoyment.  That money was set aside before the finances slipped sideways and I'd forgotten about it until I was totting up the checkbook this past week.

I've made out a menu plan for the weekend ahead.  I'm keeping it pretty basic and simple.

Before we leave tomorrow I hope to get the house Shabat clean.  I won't have Caleb tomorrow.   We don't plan to go on our date until later in the afternoon.  I need to bake bread.  The roses should be pruned back so they will be ready for fall blooming.  The one flower bed is overflowing with weeds and wildflowers that have gotten out of hand.   There is much to do and much I'd like to get done but I'll not think I might even possibly get to everything in one day's time.

I won't post tomorrow though, so I'm going to schedule this diary to go out in the morning.  Have a terrific week end.