Early Morning Coffee Chat: It's Just A Season





Come on in and have morning coffee with me.  I've been up for hours now, and I do mean hours.  John was up early as well.  I didn't sleep at all last night.  He did but couldn't go back to sleep after waking twice between 4 and 6.   I'd love to say we saw a glorious dawn on the horizon but no.  Just clouds and such a gradual change of light that there was nothing to remark upon at all. 

We are in that slight cool down spell of August.  It's been almost pleasant in the full heat of the day and truly pleasant in the morning and evening hours.  Two evenings we took a drive with the car windows down.  One evening was nothing more than a trip to the dump (baby diapers stink too much to keep about for 24 hours) and another we went into town for ice cream after our dump run.   Both evenings, I was so tempted to sit on the back porch and just enjoy the air but I didn't.  No I came back inside and settled into doing last housekeeping tasks and then I went to my chair and didn't move until bedtime. 

 

I find I'm on a physical fitness and endurance course, though it's completely unintentional.  Lifting Caleb's weight several times a day, I have developed some real muscle. I fully expect to see a general improvement in my under arm flab and sagging bosom.  I might not be as firm and fresh as when young, but I'm sure he's doing me more favor than not with his wanting to be lifted 100xs a day for a quick snuggle.   And my cardio is getting a good work out, too.  I've had to give chase at least three times a day as this little blond, blue eyed whirlwind takes off into territories where he is not allowed to go.  Two weeks ago, he'd run into a corner and wait for me to catch up.  This week I caught him before he got to the corners, lol.

As usual when changes take place in my life, I spent a solid two or three weeks railing at God and complaining loudly to John but this week I've found peace.  I wish I were better at just finding my peace right away.  I'm going to keep working at it until I am, but in the meantime, I have finally found my way in this place.  It's not where I want to be but it's where God has placed me, both financially and physically.   I know that God will use this season to bless me and others if I'll just shut up and let Him do the work He wants to do through me.  

I stumbled upon this definition last week on Proverbs 31 on Instagram and it helped change my attitude a good deal.  Patience: Ability to accept or tolerate problems, delays, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious.

Well that brought me up short.  For one thing, I am not suffering.  For another this is merely a delay of things I wanted to see happen.  Obviously my timing is not God's.  I know full well that I may as well beat on brick walls with my head as to try and force something to happen.   And surely, surely, after all this time I can learn to tolerate problems that present themselves?

As of this writing, I'm doing my best to find ways to ease my frustrations either with sound(er) reasoning than I'd used these past three weeks or by actually stopping to examine what I might change to improve things overall.  Some of the things I can't do just now are physically impossible, not just financially at the moment.  Those I just have to accept and move on.   Their day will come.   

Some of the things that could be changed to ease my passage I've been incorporating.  Like getting on top of the food waste that has occurred these past few weeks and finding ways to alter my household so that it is less messy and frustrating.  I'm by no means getting 100% marks in any area just now but I am at least aware of things and the few changes made have proven to be positive ones.

Easy prep or prep ahead is necessary for all meals.  I HAVE to have a plan, even if that plan is not formulated until the morning of the day I'm living in right now.  I've stopped meal planning overall, and started looking into cupboards and freezers and fridge and seeing what I have that needs to be used.  Then I plan how to use those things in a meal for now or in preparing something for the freezer that will be helpful later.

I've also learned that Caleb is hungry NOW and it's too late already if I've no plan for his meals.  So if I'm planning meals, I plan and prep his FIRST and then determine what we'll eat.  If I have a hint of what I might make for us, I determine if any or all of it is something Caleb can eat, too.  He's pretty willing at this stage to try most things.  There are just a few that he simply doesn't care for and won't eat.    

I've put away some things that Caleb had been playing with that were just messy and frustrating and a bother to me.  None of his toys, but the piles of John's shoes at the backdoor which Caleb loves to put on and traipse about in, or the plastics bin which he delighted in dumping out.  Legos might be painful memories to me now but they were nothing on the current phase of stepping on a plastic container lid and skating across the kitchen floor unexpectedly.  So for now, those are out of his play area.

I've also learned that homebody I might be, but I do need to get OUT of the house, OUT of my own yard and go somewhere.  A trip to the peach shed last weekend.  A run into town with John one evening this week.  A trip to the dumpster to drop off trash are NECESSARY.   It designates a break in my day and my concentration upon what I feel I should do and allows me to just relax and be in the moment.  Often I find when I get home that what needs to be done isn't quite so tiresome as I perceived prior to that little outing and that it is done in less time than I'd imagined possible when I was viewing it from my tired and weary eyes.

I'm holding big goals loosely.  I do what small things I can but bigger tasks can wait, will wait, won't go anywhere, until I can attend to them.  I know this.  I just have to remind myself of it hourly some days.

And so life is in a new and most likely temporary phase but then all seasons are temporary really, aren't there?  No season is ever meant to be a forever thing.  

I'm struggling with some things about family.  Frankly, I'm missing the grown children.  Haven't heard from Amie in a couple of months.  JD just sent a text this weekend and that's so unusual it stands out as major.  It was simple and to the point, The kids say Hi and then he sent a video of Hailey and Daniel saying "Hi Gramma!"  and that was it.  I want to have a family dinner so I could hear all about the three children's first week of school.  That didn't go so well.  It was a rushed affair and the children were at a table in the kitchen while the adults were in the dining room. Just a few feet apart but hard to talk back and forth.  Samuel didn't come.  It was all too last minute for his plans and then everyone was up and gone just after the meal was over.   But this is their season at present, too.  Too many demands on their time, too much on their financial and mental plates and no time to do the things they deem necessary much less fun things.  I get it.  I've just learned it never really seems to end, lol!

But it occurred to me this evening that I could pray for my children in a different way than I have been.  I've concentrated on non-specific needs with my children and not addressed things unless they asked me to do so specifically.  But surely I could pray for their mental health and their emotional health.  I could pray that they acquire pockets of time to themselves to re-group and get centered. I can pray for true deep rest, not just the sort that comes with sleep but that comes with peace.  There are just myriads of stressors and things that aren't necessarily major but altogether they feel mighty heavy.  And it all bears down and wears us down so that when the really truly hard things hit, then we have no reserves to fight with.  So yes, I can see that I could pray better for my children.

Will it stop me missing them?  No, it won't.  But I find in praying for people I often experience a sense of intimacy with them that I mightn't have had so prayer is worthwhile for that as well.

I need to end now...I started this yesterday morning and it's taken me until Sunday evening to finish it up.  I'll talk to you again, soon.

8 comments:

Anne said...

I certainly get that family gatherings don't always work out. I had planned a barbecue for Saturday to bring some family together that had not seen each other in years. I started out inviting seven, by Saturday we were down to just one guest, my son. That's okay, we had the barbecue anyway. I can only do so much.

If I lived closer to you I would love to help with Caleb, I so miss that age group, even if I could only hang in there for a couple of hours. :D My favorite story is when John got a cookie for himself and didn't get anything for Caleb, and the little guy was so furious he read John the riot act, in baby talk, then came and complained loudly to you, in baby talk. I could just picture the whole scene unfolding.

susie @ persimmon moon cottage said...

Your wise words about praying for our children really gave me pause for thought and sound like what I should be doing, for my kids, and my husband and self.

Donna said...

Amazing post! I agree with Miss Susie: Your comments on praying for family really resonated with me. Seasons (situations) are temporary but some seem to linger on...and on. This too, shall pass.

Lana said...

I did not sleep worth anything last night either and I usually sleep like a rock! We had our oldest son's family here from Alabama over the weekend and just purely had a blast with them. We had a ton of money in the eat out with kids budget so we all went out for Mexican Saturday night and had so much fun that it will remain on our memories for a good long time. I don't know how those owners of that restaurant make it fell like a big party there every time we go but they do and it is so fun. I agree about the prayer. Our kids need a lot of it right now and in many ways I feel it is the only thing we can do for them. Some are purely stomping on our hearts right now.

Liz from New York said...

I like this post a lot. Patience…in all things. I needed this today. Thanks Terri

Shirley in Washington said...

Thanks for the wonderful thoughts about praying for our children! I had a rough weekend - missing my kids and grandkids terribly - they all live across the state and in Idaho. Our pastor was preaching on heaven yesterday. He made the comment that our longing for family and home are an extension of our longing for heaven. A very interesting thought! Blessings, Shirley

Karla said...

I also slept like doo doo last night. Maybe something was happening in the Heavens we all needed to be aware of? I love your change of prayer idea. How very wise. My husband really struggles with our girls being too busy to get together as much as he'd like. They are young adults, one has a fiance and no children but both have pets. But life is busy. I'm always trying to convince him that it's not personal. But sometimes it's just hard to remember that.

terricheney said...

I'm being slow with replies these days ladies so please forgive me. I'm glad that the need for praying for our children in a different way than we might have struck a chord with others too. I am pretty sure I just happen to hear what God is pushing out at all of us most of the time.

Anne, I think the adult company (NOT discounting John but...you know, lol) would be a real blessing to me! Caleb is a dear busy little boy and is in a high learning curve time of his life. It's a struggle for me but a joy as well.

Lana, I'm so glad that you enjoyed your time with family! That's two successful visits you've had back to back. I know it was a happy time for you but I'll just bet you're a little bit tired, too.

Donna and Susie, yes, indeed, pray for husbands as well.

Liz, somehow that quote just struck me super hard. I know the Bible says Patience in all things but I'd never thought of it in terms of anxiety and such...Open my heart Lord!

Shirley, I think about heaven a lot. John likes to say it's going to be perpetually day time and not night and we discuss about what the 'mansions' will look like but I'm pretty sure our poor little earthly concept can even begin to imagine what it will be like other than peaceful and even so we have no concept of that level of peace!

Karla, If this weren't my life history where sleep is concerned I'd say I was in good company but I have many more poor nights than good ones and have for as far back as I can remember.
Yes, our adult children are busy with their own lives and often don't need us as much or as often (or when they do it's very hard things, lol). One child referred to us as 'ex-parents' and admittedly it stung hard but there was more truth in that statement than not. It does indeed feel a lot like being an 'ex'.