What I Learned and Am Learning from My Grandmothers

 

I have been thinking a great deal these days about what I learned from my grandmothers.  I was blessed to know both into their more senior years.  Grandmother died at age 84, Granny at age 95.  I had a good long time to learn from both of them.  

Both Grandmother and Granny were born just prior to the start of the great depression.  They were just in their teen years when the depression began in 1929.  They were both married and began their own families during those years.

I'd like to share what each of my grandmothers taught me.  There are similarities and there are things that one did, and the other did not.   

Grandmother was probably the poorer of the two. Her father rambled, left home, came in just long enough to get her mother pregnant and leave again.   Grandmother was the oldest and from the age of about 6 or7 she was caring for the younger children while her mother worked in the cotton mill.  All the homemaking duties fell upon her shoulders.  She learned a work ethic that she never lost.

Granny grew up on a farm.  She was accustomed to doing field work as she was the fourth of six children and the oldest daughter worked in the house with her mother while the rest of the children were sent to help her Papa in the fields after doing outdoor chores.  Again, there was a strong work ethic and that was something that Granny kept her lifelong as well.

At some point in their marriages, both Grandmother and Granny worked outside the home.  Neither of them worked all the years but they worked when things were tight.  For Grandmother it was often the purchase and renovation of a new homeplace.  For Granny it was this place.  Both were homemakers for as long as it was feasible for them to be so, but when they found it necessary and the opportunity came up, they went out to work.    However, for them both, home was their priority.  As soon as financial obligations had been met, they left work and went home once more where they worked as hard as they ever had.  

From both I learned to have a work ethic that has stayed with me.  It didn't matter if I was working outside my home or in my home, I have worked hard.  It's partly why I get so irked when acquaintances ask if I'm 'still just at home?' or when someone comments that we must be rich because I 'just' stay home.  As if there weren't enough work in a home to keep one occupied! 

I learned from my grandmothers that my decision to be home came with the necessity of making certain financial choices and going without, as well as knowing when it was time to work outside the home once again.   I have been very blessed that in these days of computers, I was able to get by with a simple job of cleaning my mother's home for several years plus the ability to sell items on eBay until we were completely out of debt.  

Grandmother must have gone hungry in her youth.  She often mentioned that one of things she cherished about my grandfather was that he never came home empty-handed.  If he'd gone visiting his family, he'd bring home a bag of nuts or berries, tomatoes or beans or okra from their garden.  He'd stop at farmstands as he drove home from an errand and pick up a basket of fruit.   Grandmother kept a garden and she put up the harvests from her garden and Granddaddy's provision in her freezer.

Granny, having grown up on a farm, gardened and also foraged for berries, wild grapes, and nuts.  Granny used her freezer but also canned to preserve the foods she acquired.   

Both of them hated food waste.  

While I do not do a lot of gardening or canning, their lessons have been learned well.  I learned the skills of canning and freezing foods properly.  I learned what foods nature provides and can forage for them in the right season.  I have learned the thrift of not wasting food.

Grandmother and Granny made their homes from scratch.  They sewed, quilted, refinished and took great care of the items they acquired over the years.  They cleaned things properly and didn't allow children to be rough or to eat anywhere except the kitchen table.  When they each died, most of the items in their home were the same ones they'd had all through my childhood.  Both bought new appliances eventually but only after the old ones were beyond repairs (which by the way were seldom required!).  Their furnishings were neither antiques nor the top quality.  They simply were well taken care of.

Unfortunately, despite care, I find that furnishings no longer last well, at least not what fits our budget, but I did learn to take great care of what I have.  I also learned to sew, refinish and recover so that I could prolong the life of my furnishings and have better quality curtains on a budget.  

Both women loved flowers and made their yards pretty.  Neither of them bought anything for their yards in their early years, but they knew how to propagate plants and often accepted pass-along plants from their neighbors, family, friends and acquaintances.  I learned to love flowers and to propagate them.  I suppose it's why I like old fashioned flowers best.  In fact, I was recently looking through a seed catalog and was naming plants as I flipped through the pages.  Do you know that many of those plants were heirloom plants with the dates of when they were first introduced?  All had been preserved from pass-along plants, plants I'd grown up knowing very well.

Granny and Grandmother always enjoyed company, planned and unplanned alike.  It was not uncommon for people to just stop by and visit in their day.  No matter what they were doing, both would stop work immediately and entertain their guests. They didn't look for a place to take them to dinner nor fret about how the house looked.  Grandmother would often slip from the room for a minute to put on a fresh clean shirt, brush her hair and put on lipstick.  Since visits generally took place in the afternoon, Granny was usually already freshened up, because that was her routine after a morning of outdoor work.  

They offered their guests coffee or tea, might bring out a plate of cookies or slices of cake, but they never made a fuss.  They both kept plenty of chairs in a shady spot in the yard and on their porches and they offered a fan on warmer days.  Everyone sat comfortably about and talked and talked.  People relaxed in their presence and enjoyed the visit.  Because of them, I have learned the art of hospitality. I don't have the opportunity to practice it as often as they did.  People don't tend to visit as they used to, they are far too busy and often if they plan to visit, they want to meet up for dinner out.  I'd love to see a return to the old-fashioned custom of going to visit!  

Grandmother and Granny never had expansive wardrobes filled with clothes.  Both kept their clothing in good repair but when something began to show wear, it became an at home piece.  I learned to have work at home clothes and nicer clothing to wear when leaving home.  

It took me a little longer to learn why they didn't need tons of clothing.  When purchasing shoes, coats, belts and purses, they bought the best they could afford.  They had a winter purse and a summer purse, winter shoes and summer shoes.  They bought wool coats and good quality all weather coats to wear when it was raining.  They both leaned far away from trends and wore classic styles that remained in fashion for years.  True, the size of a collar might change over a decade or two, but mostly classic clothing remains in style forever.  I learned to choose better quality pieces with an eye towards classic style and versatility rather than having loads of clothes that were out of fashion long before they ever wore out.

Admittedly my personal style is more casual than theirs.  I grew up in a generation that wears jeans just about everywhere.  True my life doesn't often require a dressier version for every day, but I do have some pieces that fit that category nicely and have remained in style over the past few years.

Here are the things I am still trying to learn:

For many years of their homemaking lives Granny and Grandmother lived without electricity.  Grandmother did live in a city and had electric in some of her homes by the 1940's, but both also lived rurally, and electricity wasn't widely available for many years.  Granny didn't have electricity in her last home until 1957.   Both were very careful of their electric usage.  Until their deaths, they each turned off their hot water heater until they wanted hot water for a bath or load of washing.  Granny preferred to heat her dish water on the stove.   They didn't turn on lights in the house if sunlight was available to see by, but they wouldn't strain their eyes either.  If it was a dark day, they'd have task lighting on to read or work by, but no other lights were on in rooms when no one was in them.

Neither of them had Air Conditioning.  They relied upon propane gas to heat their homes.  If they were hot, they used fans both handheld and oscillating.  They would use a cool washcloth to cool their skin and remove sticky perspiration.  In winter, they dressed warmly.

I don't want to live without AC now, but I could do a lot better at conserving energy.  I could use fans more judiciously instead of being tempted to lower the thermostat, and I could pull the curtains on the windows where the sun is pounding in and heating the room.  

Neither of them was wasteful with water.  Dishwater went outdoors on potted plants or even to the garden plants if it was especially dry.  Both used dishpans to conserve water usage at the sink.  There was no accidental removal of the plug to let water escape.  And there was most certainly no endless running of the water.  I'm guilty right there. I have been using a dishpan for about five years now, but I have not stopped letting water run.   I need to make it a habit to conserve water.

They never complained.  I cannot tell you what either one of them wished they had that they didn't, wished they hadn't done that they did, or fuss over something they couldn't afford etc.   I never heard them complain about their home or their car or the clothes they had.  I want to cultivate that habit of not complaining about my circumstances!  Circumstances change often sooner than we ever think they will, so why waste time and energy complaining?

That's what I have learned and hope to learn from my grandmothers about Homemaking.

Amazon Associate Affiliate Link