One thing my Granny often said to me was something I'll wager a lot of you have heard, "You're never too old to learn!" That has certainly proven true all throughout my life.
My parents urged us children to do well at anything we attempted but they failed us miserably in one area. They didn't believe in making mistakes. It was their expectation that you'd be perfect right away with any new thing and if you weren't, there was a lot of fuss and fretting. With each mistake and each fuss, we began to lose self-confidence and I can assure you that I actually grew afraid of making mistakes, so, I just didn't even try anything new!
One major key to learning, in my opinion, isn't just being willing to learn. It's being willing to make mistakes as you learn.
Kimmy at the vlog She's In Her Apron often says, "POP. Progress over perfection!"
When I was first married, I was laid off from my job and the country went into a recession at the same time. I wasn't much into experimenting, but we needed bread and I thought I'd try to make it myself. It was absolutely horrible. My husband was horrified that I'd 'wasted' flour trying to make something I could buy. I didn't attempt to make bread again until twenty years later!
One day a friend gave me a sourdough starter with a recipe. I turned out some pretty good bread and I started making bread every day. Was I perfect with my sour dough? No. I didn't really know how else I might use the discarded starter and it really bothered me to just throw it away as my friend kept telling me to do. Eventually I stopped making sour dough. Now, another 20 years later, I know that I might have used that discard to make all our homemade bread items. Live and learn!
For years, I bemoaned the lack of money to buy new things. One day, I recall thinking I could cover one of my old chairs. Did I know how to recover a chair? Nope. I'd only seen illustrations in books and at the time I didn't even have a sewing machine. Internet hadn't yet come to our home. I didn't have material to work with, but I was determined to recover that chair.
One day while out shopping with Mama, I found a whole bolt of upholstery type fabric for something like $4. I could easily come up with $4! I brought it home and threw the stuff over the chair and decided I'd like that very well. Now what to do about not having a sewing machine?
I had a container of small nails with flat heads and a hammer. I left the cushion on the chair seat and just started nailing fabric onto that chair. When I got to the seat of the chair, I tucked the fabric down into the frame on the back and sides, folded up one edge as a hem and nailed it to the chair. Do you know the chair remained "covered" in that way for over 10 years? It didn't come loose. No one ever came into my home and said, "What on earth is wrong with this chair?" The nails actually blended into the pattern of the fabric.
In time, I decided I was tired of that patterned fabric and I wanted a new look. I found cotton duck slipcovers on clearance and I used those on my chairs. It looked okay but inevitably, those slipcovers looked frumpy after someone sat in one of the chairs. I was constantly fussing over the chairs trying to make them look well dressed once more.
One Christmas John bought me an inexpensive basic sewing machine. I'd made most of my own clothing back in my teen years, so I knew how to sew. I took off the slipcovers and using them as my material I made a custom fit slipcovers for one of my chairs. Did I make mistakes? Yep. I couldn't quite figure out how to finish the ends of the arms. I had one arm come up a wee bit shorter than the other. I did the best I could and again, no one ever came in and said, "What's wrong with this chair?"
Spurred on by my growing confidence, I eventually remade and recovered another chair. Those custom made covers are still on my chairs and look just fine. Only I know where the mistakes are.
I've learned since then to make breads, to grill meat, to grow various flowers and houseplants, to paint walls and furnishings, to decorate my home. Because I learned to be willing to make mistakes, I stopped being afraid to try new skills because I knew I was absolutely going to make mistakes, but I'd learn how not to make them again.
When Katie was a child, she wanted fancy birthday cakes. I'd done my share of pretty but not as fancy as Katie wanted. She asked if she could do it herself. I said "Sure." She turned out a fairly respectable decorated cake. She was 8! She grew in confidence every year as she opted to make her own birthday cake and decorated it to suit herself.
When she got married, Katie made her own wedding cake including the fondant icing. She'd never made fondant in her life but there she was the day before she got married making fondant for the first time. All those years of being willing to make mistakes in the past allowed her the freedom to try. The cakes turned out beautifully and a few years later she made Taylor's first birthday cake herself, as well.
Samuel never did much carpentry work, but when he and Bess bought the house across the field, he went into that house and began to rip out and repair all sorts of problems. He did plumbing. He hung sheetrock. He laid tile. He put up cabinets. He'd never done any of those things. He'd come in from working on that house and watch YouTube videos showing how to do the next phase of any job he was up to his waist in getting done. Is his home perfect? He'll tell you quickly that it is not. But it's solid and it's well designed inside. He lost steam after two straight years of remodeling but recently remodeled the back of the house so that he has a laundry room and is now tackling the second bath.
The one advantage Katie and Sam have had over my own first attempts at diy? They had internet and You Tube tutorials.
In the end, it all comes down to the same thing: they were willing to make the mistakes that led them to improve their skills.
What do you want to learn? Are you willing to make the mistakes that go with the learning? I am. I've got a whole list of things I want to learn to do!
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2 comments:
To some folks perfection is key. I remember reading several years ago an article about perfectionism and one statement stood out, that being a perfectionist is paralyzing in that it is difficult to accomplish tasks for fear of failing. I like to do the best I can but for many years I felt that paralysis, like something was standing in my way of getting things done. Critical eyes can play a part in this. Family members or people in your social circle can look at what you have done and make damaging comments. When the Urban Farmer is displeased with how a project has turned out, I tell him that the people who would criticize his work are dead and gone. We learn from our mistakes in many areas of our lives. The point is to keep going, keep learning. We learn a lot from YouTube!
Yes, Donna, I too had the fear of criticism hence a perfectionistic leaning that kept me paralyzed from doing anything at all for years upon years. When we moved here it took all we had to get settled in the house and make a car payment and keep kids fed so no new furniture to go with our new home. Half of the house was unfurnished for at least 10 years. Then I started picking up secondhand pieces and painting or covering, staining, etc and the house filled right up. Now I practically hate to buy anything new, though the new chairs are a huge blessing and much appreciated!
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