Finish Line

Monday, June 15:  I'm done.  I've done all I can possibly do to finish off the legal work, paperwork, transfers, etc. related to John's death.  I am awaiting one piece of paper that is going to come to me in about a week, one bit of legal proceeding that is entirely out of my hands before I have that piece of paper.  All I had to do is done.  

I am so relieved!

Every week, since the week after John's death, I have been making appointments, filing paperwork, gathering paperwork, going through all the proceedings.  Often, I'd spend one day on legwork (actually out of the house chasing things down) and one long morning on the phone.  That was two days out of every week for the past twelve weeks.

Now on to the rest of the things...like clearing, sorting, organizing, donating or giving away.  I've also spent an average of two days a week on that task.  For the first month or so, it was mostly focusing on John's things, but now it's as much about my own stuff I've accumulated. 

Last week I took a break from it.  It was just too much.   Today, riding high on the knowledge that I'd finished the last paperwork task, I cleaned out a whole section of the car trunk, and then came indoors to clear more stuff out of the music room/study.  

I have to empty John's dresser of the remaining things here this week because JD is coming up at the end of the week and I want him to take the dresser home with him since it is a piece his great grandfather hand made.  

I am by no means finished with 'stuff' but the paperwork side of things weighed terribly heavy on me.  I knew it was important to attend to it all in as timely a manner as I could.  Admittedly it was in my mind the mess my brother and I had to deal with in clearing up three estates (a loose term, not because anyone owned much of anything, but all the channels had to be clear to get things released to the two of us!)  at once with deaths that occurred over a period of four years and not one of the legatees did anything toward the estates they were meant to.  It was tedious and we had to begin at the start and work through each person in order of death date.  It took nearly two years to finish off.  So yes, I was especially keen to get it done!

Now, if anything should happen to me, it's clear for my kids to sort out.  My goal was that they wouldn't have the burden of trying to go through two estates at once.  My will is in place, signed and everything, which we didn't quite manage with John's since he died the day before we were to go sign it.  That will further decrease the things they must do as well.

I have promised myself a reward for the day when I finished this end of things off.  I'm now in the process of planning what my reward shall be.

Thursday, June 18:  Well, I never meant to have such a short post this week but short it shall be.  On Monday afternoon, I took Isaac to see "Michael", as he's a huge fan of the music and choreography of Michael Jackson.  I'd carefully examined all the reviews to be sure it was clean enough for a child.  I will admit that the shock at the register was very real.  I'd no idea that a movie cost that much these days!  Worth every bit of it though.  Isaac didn't take his eyes off the screen not once in the nearly 3 hours the movie ran.

Tuesday, I was relieved to just be 'at home' and do homey sorts of things.  I filled the bookshelves in the study.  I have a whole shelf over that I will fill soon with a set of books I am sorting through.  All of John's precious music stuff is put away for now.  Eventually that too will be dealt with but for now it's protected from little fingers that want to turn and twist knobs and click switches.  The bulk of the study is cleared out save a stack of bins filled with John's toys and coffee mugs and such.  I thought the children might want to go through those, but I don't know just yet.  

I've also packed up all of the stuff I had sitting on the chifforobe that I no longer wanted.  It's boxed for donation, as is the China set from my first marriage and a lot of other glassware I'd collected and then hidden behind buffet cabinet doors.  And the Christmas candles.  Then I packed up all the stuff I'd removed from the kitchen cabinets...Three boxes of things are ready to be loaded into my car and hauled away.  

I've been saving any sizeable cardboard boxes to pack things from the shed into.  Yes, I am determined to clean out that area as well.  

I've also started stacking furniture to one side that will definitely be leaving the house and have a good idea of what else will be leaving.  It's all a slow progress sort of thing, but I feel better for what I've set free from my grasp.  

I've made up my mind that one of my first little day trips will be to travel about the central southwest Georgia area collecting mural passports.  That's hardly even a day trip, truly, but I thought it would be a great training ground for beginning to get out and about on my own.  And yes, I shall likely be traveling in my own vehicles for these excursions.  I can't just toss in the towel and stay home.  After all, neither car has let me down because of lack of care on my part.  Just once last week due to a hasty mechanic trying to finish prior to closing.  

 Yesterday, I had to have labs drawn to determine if indeed I needed thyroid medication. My levels were well within normal range, and it appears that it was completely unnecessary to be on any medication at all. I'll see what the doctor has to say.  He does tend to follow up on labs with patients individually.  However, I came near not having lab work done yesterday.  Apparently, I'd had an appointment time, though I was under the impression I could walk in just any time to get the blood draw done.  

So, when I got up yesterday, I went outdoors to empty compost and then began weeding and pruning the overgrown border along the back porch.  It was awfully heavy and hot work, due in part to the thick humidity.  It took a bit of recovery before I could even think to get showered and ready to go anywhere.  Imagine my surprise to arrive and discover I was three hours late...

Well never mind, they offered to fit me in after lunch.  I wasn't about to go back home, so I drove over to Zenith Mill to get peaches at the peach shed.  A very sweet man offered me his military discount, when I was asked if I was a veteran.  I replied, "A veteran's widow..." and the man said, "Give her a discount.  Yes, indeed she qualifies!" I thought it quite nice of him.  

I came out of the door just in time for the rain to start pouring. I was soaked to the skin before I could walk the 250 feet to the car.   I looked a lot like a drowned puppy, and I was mighty unhappy.

You see, I'm struggling with my hair.  I've been trying for months now to let it grow out with varying degrees of tolerance on my part.  I've had a few trims just to keep it halfway in shape, but I've not gone back to full on Pixie yet.  I'm afraid that I won't last out the time until my next appointment which is 4 weeks away.  And then to get drenched made me triply unhappy with myself overall, hair being the top of the list.  

I stopped at the local grocery to get bread, milk, eggs and found a nice rump roast marked down to the price of hamburger, which as we know is not cheap but roast generally is far above hamburger prices.  

I made it back to have the blood drawn.  No easy task there.  The first stick was a miss and painful as everything.  That made all my nerve endings super sensitive to the second stick (successful!), but I whimpered like a child at both.  Embarrassed myself terribly.

After that I sort of limped (literally, since my legs and hip ached from the morning's yard work) back home.  

Today I've been out in the yard trimming more and cleaning up the messes I left behind yesterday.  I've pampered myself thoroughly with a spa morning shower afterwards.  Then I drove up to Sam's to deliver birthday cookies and card.  And to borrow cat food which I forgot yesterday when I was out and about.

I've got the house pretty much squared away.  My eldest son and his family should be here any time now.  He jokingly told me "Sorry I seem to be bringing the rain along..."  "Nope," I replied, "It got here long before you."  It's his plan to stay all weekend long

Sunday, June 21:  Technically I ought to start the next week's bit but since I've yet to edit this or find a picture that suits it, or titled it, I thought I'd just run through the last 3 days.

JD and the children (hardly children being 17 and 14) arrived Thursday afternoon.  It was raining, so I'd popped a chuck roast into the slow cooker and kept the sides simple.  They are not accustomed to gourmet foods, at least not from their dad.   

The kids weren't talkative, but they weren't hostile in their silence.  They are just quiet overall.   When I asked if they'd like to see "Michael" I had no intention of paying at the theatre.  I'd discovered it was available for rent on Prime for $20 and thought it would be worthwhile to help them pass time.  Well only Zach was interested, but I rented it and had a ton of accumulated points which brought the price down to something like $5.  You know I rolled my eyes over what I'd spent to take Isaac to the theatre compared to that but never mind.  He'd been over the moon after seeing the movie and it was worth the price.  As for Zach, he and I enjoyed the movie together, too.  Though we had to tolerate JD talking in over the top as he was prone to look up facts mentioned in the movie.

On Friday, Daniel went to visit a friend in Warner Robins for the day.  JD had determined he'd put in the light fixtures John and I bought three years ago.  So, he picked up supplies to do that, and heaven knows what all else he thought he might do.  He left a bag full of things here that I'm to return.  At any rate, he got started on putting in lights and we had only one small hiccup.  I'd wanted a pendant hanging over the kitchen sink, but it was larger than I'd thought and came far too close to the vinyl blinds.  The idea of hot light that close to them was unnerving.  We tried hanging the pendant higher, but it looked ridiculous.  So that is now a hall light, and I have an inexpensive LED type light above the sink which is inconspicuous enough I don't mind it.

They spent the afternoon and evening at Katie's.  I had the evening here to myself and went off to bed early.  I found it a little bit exhausting to have people in the house, no offense to the family.  

On Saturday, things went well enough.  JD hung the two lights in the master bath which elevated and finished off that room to a perfect 'T'.  Katie and Sam came in later and gasped at the amount of light in that room and how lovely it all looked.  

The grown-up children and Sam's children stayed for quite a while visiting with their siblings and cousins.  Katie had come by after taking Taylor to meet her dad and Caleb and Henry were home with Cody.  I missed them and Bella, but I seldom have all of my family at once.  It was rather nice to have the grown-up kids in the house, and we had many a laugh over things John had said or done over the years.  I think one of the loveliest things about John is that it's so easy to recall his humor and joy and to laugh as though he were still here entertaining us.

More rain came later in the day.  Rain, rain, rain.  The grass and trees are gloriously green.  The deer and rabbits are quite happy with their grazing grounds. 

This morning, Sam's dog Sheldon came over to visit with Rufus.  He's not been here in ages, as he's gotten increasingly deaf and blind.  He was wandering about in the front yard in the sunshine.  I texted Sam to let him know.  About a half hour later, I looked at and dear Sheldon was wandering around still.  I realized that he was lost.  I went out to the yard and got near enough he could smell me which made him come near and the two of us walked across the back yard and over the path to Sam's backyard.  Sam had decided to come look for Sheldon thinking he'd gotten lost and walked me back home and visited a few minutes with JD.

Today was packing up and going home day.  JD took the dresser his grandfather had built, and Zach acquired the desk chair that I was getting rid of.   The children amused me greatly because when they discovered I was going to take the things to donate they insisted JD should take them home since he apparently has no chairs.  When he refused, Zach put in his bid to have it for his desk.  

I confess, I was mighty nervous about the family being here, as our last visit had been such a disappointment.  I'm not counting in the day we spread John's ashes because I was so overwhelmed with everything from shock to grief to company that I don't really know how that time went along.  But the visit this time was fine.  However, I was glad to see everyone go home again.  That doesn't sound very hospitable of me, but there you are.  I like company. I like when company goes home.

This next week I've another family birthday, Katie's, but we won't celebrate until next Saturday.  Sam's belated birthday will be celebrated tomorrow.  I had company come in the day of his birthday.  He's asked to be taken out to eat.    

I need to get the last birthday card into the mail.  Take off a double load of trash.  Hope to fill a few more boxes for donation and to get the boxes delivered to the thrift store.  And somewhere in the week, there's a fun day out planned with a friend.    Another busy week of June ahead.