Thinking, Cooking, Doing

 

Sunday, September 6:  I did not go to church today.  I was thinking of the week ahead and the extra gasoline I'll need to use.  So, I watched church online.  Well, no, I shall admit I listened to church online.  I kept busy tackling the mess on the dining table, starting laundry and making myself a really good lunch.  And thoroughly enjoyed my day while I was at it.  

But when church came on, I just turned up the volume, so I didn't miss any of the sermon, and I'm glad I didn't because it was quite a good sermon, the sort that gives you a perspective you mightn't have had before and made a passage of scripture come alive in a way it never had.  So, I appreciated it.  But it wasn't the same as going to church and being more fully attentive.

Sam came over to mow the yard.  We agreed that mowing just around the house would make things look neater but that the grass overall was so dry and dead there was little point in mowing every single terrace.  We are both thinking this might well be the last mowing of the season unless we get a substantial amount of rain and heat.  

I had done a load of laundry which I took out to hang on the line after he left.  Honestly could not dry clothes as quickly in the dryer as they did on the porch.  Except I got caught off guard by the sound of rain just about the time they would have  been dry.  Mind you there was nothing but sunny skies overhead.  I had heard thunder but it sounded east of us, but there were no clouds at all here.  Front and back yard alike were blue skies and sun.  Nevertheless, it rained a good steady shower for 15 minutes, not heavily, but enough to send me scurrying outdoors to bring the clothes in.

When I was talking to my friend on the phone the other day, she mentioned she'd made meatloaf and oh gracious but that sounded really good to me.  So, I made meatloaf today myself.  A small loaf.  Then I took the extra meat mixture and made up a dozen meatballs which I popped into the freezer for future meals.  I had enough meatloaf leftover to serve me again later this week.  It was a very tasty meal.

I used the very last little potato which hardly seemed worth bothering with and diced it into green beans.  I found broccoli at the back of the fridge that was just on the cusp of being done and made broccoli with cheese.  That was a very good meal, and I felt virtuous in not letting my potato or broccoli go to waste.  And I had enough of all of it to serve another meal later in the week.  I think it will be perfect for that day of keeping kids I have ahead of me this week.

After working steadily all afternoon, I had my house set to rights at last.  While shifting furniture around last week, I'd pushed the wing back chair and table into the entry area.  The chair was destined to go to my study and the table to the trash and I just wanted them out of the way temporarily while I worked on the rest of the room.  

Well, I'm smitten.  I love that chair and table sitting there in that area!  I've never had seating in that area in all the years I've lived here.  I think I'll be on the lookout for a table that will replace the one I really need to trash and get myself a lamp, too.  It will make a lovely resting or quiet reading spot with a different perspective than any other seat in the house.  Bonus points because it also happens to be near a plug so one of the kids may curl up there with their tablet or phone when it's charging.

I have vowed that this month I shall not spend any money on groceries unless I have the items on my list.  Saturday on the way home, I stopped and bought milk.  I did walk about the store and found sliced hog jowl on the meat shelf.  Cody introduced me to sliced hog jowl as a bacon substitute a few months ago and John and I were impressed with the taste.  The $2.99/pound price certainly was far more appealing than the $11.83 on a pound of bacon. I had put bacon on my list.  I bought a half pound package of the sliced hog jowl.  I felt fairly virtuous leaving the grocery store.

I started reading Mary Gaskell's Wives and Daughters last week, though I'm taking it slowly.  One reason for going slow is that I find Mrs. Gaskell's humor subtle and sometimes dry, much like Miss Austen's and it takes me just a moment or two to grasp the nuance in a sentence.  It will be easier as I go deeper into the book but since I've only just started it, I need to get used to her style of expressing her narrative.  More than that, it's a pocket-sized book, quite thick, but quite small print so I try to limit myself to a chapter or less at a reading because of the eye strain.  I read two chapters while sitting on the front porch with coffee this morning.  I did find the additional brightness outdoors helped me to see the print better.

All in all, it's been a lovely day to begin a new week.

I arrived home to find a Stitch Fix box on my porch.   I wasn't sure what would be in it, because I'd declined every single pick I was sent in the preview.  I opened the box and looked things over and decided immediately that I'd return three pieces.  I tried on the other three and then set them aside.  I do have a time limit for making a decision and returning the items, but I won't be hurried.  I want to make sure these items will serve me well.  

I chose a knit denim colored shacket, a deep russet red t-shirt, and a pair of heavy pants in a black and brown weave.  Now to let those marinate in my mind for a day or two...

Labor Day, September 7, Monday:  I didn't plan to do much today, beyond folding the two loads of clothes I had not folded over the weekend.  In the end, I found it easy enough to 'find' work.  I made biscuits and put some in the freezer.  Then I made bagel dough and put bagels in the freezer as well.  I had a bagel for lunch and it was delicious.  

Beyond that I puttered around doing light housework and watching new to me vlogs.  Every now and then, YouTube slips me out of my usual algorithm, and I find new vloggers to enjoy.  I watched several episodes of a homesteading vlog and noted to myself that while they are trying to 'grow all their own food', they preserve an overwhelming amount of stuff for just two people and they mention often that they froze this or that 'a couple of years ago' or they had home canned goods from three years before that they still have in great quantity.  

They do try hard to not to waste what they grow and to use all their leftovers as well and I understand that in their position if you're trying to rely only on what you've bartered or grown then you want to have a good bit in storage.  

It made me very mindful of my own desire to preserve and store foods and how quickly it could become overwhelming if one simply continually put food away regardless of quantity that one (or two) might eat. In their case, they are truly only feeding two.  They don't support a family beyond their own household, much as I no longer have family who lean on me.  

I have no issue with keeping a larder/pantry, as you all know.  But I don't want to have an overwhelming amount of food either.  I'm trying to determine what is the most comfortable level of food storage for myself and how hard I want to work to create said storage, and what is realistically going to be used by myself.  That's something I've been trying to determine since before John died and especially now I am alone. 

So, this sort of thinking is going on in my mind as I listen to these two girls talk about their storage foods.  It's a caution sign being thrown up to me to try to find the right balance of what I might reasonably store for both now and the future.

Tuesday, September 8:  I set my alarm to get up early this morning and then struggled hard with the actual rising.  So, I was about ten minutes late arriving at Katie's this morning.  To be fair, I thought she started work at 9, but it was 8:30 instead.  I ate breakfast as I drove over, without dropping a bit of it down my shirt front.  I didn't realize I was that skilled, lol.

The boys were happily drawing, and Henry was running back and forth in his play area when I arrived.  We had heavy dew last night and heavy rain at one point too, so I couldn't take the boys outside.  They did very well, overall.  Caleb, for some reason, can be incredibly stubborn when he's at home, about minding overall. Liam has just gotten to the tattle tale stage for his age group.  So, he'd remind me that he wasn't misbehaving and then he'd tell me what Caleb was doing that he oughtn't be, lol.

But all in all, the three boys were quite good and played well enough in the house.  Katie cooked chicken nuggets for them, and I pulled fruit, vegetable sticks, and snacks together to complete their meal.  

Cody came in just as I was finishing up helping Caleb through his schoolwork after lunch.  Liam had gone home, and Henry was supposed to be down for a nap, but we could hear him chattering and talking in his room.

We have a small ritual when I leave Katie's where Caleb sees me to my car, opens my door for me and once I'm seated will close it behind me.  It's really a lovely little goodbye routine which we both enjoy.  Today we agreed that it felt nearer autumn outdoors.  And as it was only 90 in the car when I got in, I think we can safely say that it is a bit cooler.  Last time I got in the car at their house it read 107.

I treated myself to an iced decaf coffee on the way home, which as a bonus is also unsweetened, and a bit of a long cut drive coming back.  Disappointingly there wasn't a single bit of golden rod to be found blooming anywhere, nor a prettily colored leaf either.  So much for the theory that it's anywhere near fall around here!

Inexplicably once I got home, I sat down and had a good little cry.  I'm not overtired, nor stressed, not sad or even particularly aware of having felt grieved but there you are.  Tears all the same.  

Now all I can think about is Snickerdoodles.

Wednesday, September 9:  I went off to bed about 10pm last night and went to sleep listening to a vlogger doing a live feed.  No issue for me.  I wasn't particularly interested and just wanted someone droning in my ear, truly, to send me over the edge into sleep.  I woke later, put away the phone and my earbud and went right back to sleep.  When the alarm went off this morning, I vaguely recall reaching for my phone and then going back to sleep.  I apparently am adept at dismissing the alarm while half awake.  I slept until nearly 9:30 and felt like myself, rested and ready to go.

Well today was money day for me, which I'd typically do on a Monday but this week, I purposely waited to do it on Wednesday.  I had the good sense to wait until I'd had coffee before I started that task.  As it is, it often takes me quite a bit of time, especially if it's one of those days where I must also write out checks and make online payments.

I ate breakfast and journaled as I had my coffee.  I had some of the sliced hog jowl.  I want to tell you all that it's not salty like fatback or streak o lean meat.  It's more like a fresh bacon but has a rind on it.  The rind is not a favorite of mine as it is rather tough.  I think next time I will salt and pepper the meat before cooking it.  Otherwise, it was quite nice and not a bad substitute for the pricier bacon.

The money work took me about an hour and 20 minutes today.  Part of that was due to extra requests/needs for money this month.  Millie's school is fundraising, I wanted to order a new pair of athletic shoes, needed to check out from Stitch Fix and work up a small order from Amazon for 'extra' things like a mobile home light switch and some tea I like especially in autumn and winter (Lapsang Souchong which is deeply smoky and lovely on a cold day).  Anyway, there was extra stuff aside from bills to attend to.  I'm rather pleased that this month sees me paying off the balance of both credit cards.  Yay!  That was a longer haul than expected but it will free up a goodly sum of money next month.

I decided to keep all three pieces from the Stitch Fix box.  I tried on my old denim jacket and it HUNG on me like clothes on a scarecrow.  I've not lost such a huge amount of weight, but I am easing my way from a size 22 to a size 20.  I think my old jacket is a 26W.  So, I decided it was time to donate that and the shacket will be a nice addition for the cooler months ahead.  As will be the heavy weave of the newer pants.  

I ran through my list of chores I'd written as I had coffee this morning.  Then I got up and fixed myself lunch.  While that was heating, I mixed up a batch of cookies.  I wanted Snickerdoodles.  I specifically remembered a particular cookbook that I'd purposely repurchased because it had my favorite recipe in it.  Well, where it might be I couldn't say.  I've used a sugar cookie recipe in its place over the years but I don't particularly like either recipe I've used in the past.

I decided to try another cookbook and found as I read through the recipe there was a spiced Almond variation which sounded lovely.  I decided to give that a try.  The spice combination is truly lovely, and the crunch of nuts isn't bad either...but the cookie recipe itself leaves much to be desired.  It tended to puddle across the cookie sheet but remain mounded right in the middle and so it's crispy edged with a soft center.  The texture is not what I want.  However, I will say that the mix of spices is spot on with cloves, cinnamon, and nutmeg with a hint of lemon zest.  It's beautiful.  I'll keep that in mind in future and try my hand at a cookie that holds its shape as I'd like.

It's a reminder to me too to pick up a cookbook and just go through and try recipes for the fun of it.  It's something I've wanted to do for years.  G Donna is attempting to perfect homemade croissants...and that's something I'd really like to learn to do as well.  

Tomorrow, I plan to head out to buy groceries.   I'd like to go out early and perhaps run to the Peach Shed north of me that is now selling North Georgia Apples.  I think that would be a lovely side quest for a grocery day.  I've decided to go to a grocery in an area where I typically don't shop.  I'm shaking up my routine a bit.  I think it will be fun to head out to unknown places, even though they are close to home.  I've already checked the Weekly Ad.  Since most of what I need is pretty basic, I can buy it about anywhere.  

Thursday, September 10:  I looked at my perpetual calendar earlier.  Apparently, I've not bothered to change the date since last Friday, the 4th.  I wonder exactly what made me forget to do it.  Is it because it is buried amongst a number of objects waiting to be placed on the bookshelves?  Was I anxious to 'forget' time for some reason?  I have no idea.  But I'm not planning to change it tonight either!  I'll try to remember to do it first thing in the morning.

I wanted to head out to Dickey Farms so why not just plan to go a little further and shop in a totally new town.   I can say honestly that I thoroughly enjoyed the whole thing!  And no, I didn't spend more, even though I didn't stick hard to my list. (Laughing here. The auto correct assures me I should use the word 'evener' here.  I declined their suggestion.) 

For one thing, though I'd reset my alarm to a slightly later time, I couldn't drag myself from the bed even then.  I got up around 9:15.  It does seem I am determined to sleep a good deal extra just now.  I had coffee and dressed then left the house to run errands in town before heading to my planned destination.  Wouldn't you know it?  I was barely halfway to the next town when I realized I was hungry as could be.  And no, I didn't eat before leaving, it's something I typically do on a Thursday morning.  I always skip breakfast that day.  It was nearly 11am and I figured I'd better go ahead and get something to eat in the next town, because I did want to stick to a budget!

So, I grabbed a very early lunch.  Please note that this threw off my entire day.  Not timewise but in how and when I felt hungry.  

I went on to the store where I planned to shop and did very well.  I picked up beef shanks at $6.58 a pound and got a little less than a pound.  I also purchased some beef cubed steak in a smaller package, again less than a pound.  For the rest, I stuck hard to my list.  My splurge item today, aside from the meats, was a single jar of Oui yogurt, a treat I haven't had in ages upon ages.

I didn't mess up my budget but came in at a very happy figure.  And I got a bunch of lovely flowers!

I must've looked lost or out of place as I was asked multiples of times (several by the same clerk) if I needed help finding things.  I finally told her I was new to the store and more curious than anything.  I explained I had planned the day as part grocery shopping and part adventure.  She laughed at that but left me alone thereafter.

Then I headed back to Dickey Farms (passed it on my way to grocery shop) where I bought apples, a new coffee mug for my Fall morning coffee, a green tomato (the ONLY one I've seen this year!) and a tiny kiddie cup of butter pecan ice cream.  Oh, and a handful of green beans and four red potatoes.  Not a big spend but I was pleased with it.

I am looking forward to my fried green tomato.  I reasoned that if I'd still be getting tomatoes about now if I'd grown any (as if I ever had grown more than a handful of yellow pear tomatoes!) and I might be eating green tomatoes yet...Summer isn't quite over!

I really enjoyed my day out.  However, I was hungry about the time I got home.  It was 3:30pm.  So, I ate a sandwich.  I thought about eating at 6 but I wasn't hungry.  By 8:30 I could have chewed through drywall.  That is far too late to eat much of anything, so I snacked on cheese and crackers but that's what I mean about my whole day of meals being thrown totally off kilter today.

By the way, if you need to shake up your routine, I highly recommend taking time to shop at a different grocery store.  

I went into the kitchen earlier planning to put the forgotten bouquet of flowers in water and found ants on my counter.  I am doing battle with them here this week.  On a whim, I opened the cupboard under that counter and the whole was crawling with ants.  I sprayed until I nearly asphyxiated myself.  I need to get some of the bait traps and set out.  I haven't had to fight ants so hard in years, not since we started using pest control services.

All in all, I declare today a good one.  And now I am ready for bed.

Friday, September 11:  A friend's daughter pointed out that there is now a whole generation of young adults who know nothing about September 11.  I well recall where John and I were and what we were doing when it all occurred.  It shook me up something fierce.  All of a sudden, the fact that my children might not be near, that I couldn't protect the, hit me very hard.  It was then I became a prayer warrior.  And I've been one ever since.

I was up early this morning, much earlier than I've been used to getting up here lately.  I took time to read a little while I had coffee.  I've started Winter in Thrush Green, in addition to my other book.  It is October as I read the opening chapters and its true autumn in Thrush Green.  Given the cloudy look of the day outdoors it fit perfectly, but once I stepped outdoors to feed Sassy this morning, all my fantasies of it being autumnal here were blown out of the water.  Humidity, heat, ick.

I puttered around the house, doing a house blessing, hanging some pretty things in the kitchen (which is officially DONE as far as decorating that room goes), doing laundry, sweeping.  All the usual things.  It was a lovely morning, though the sun kept being chased away by clouds.  Finally, spying a particularly lovely patch of sunny blue overhead, I took laundry out to hang to dry.  I sat down to eat my lunch and had just finished when suddenly, with no warning at all, it rained heavily.  And just like that my dry clothes got soaked through.  The weather app said it would rain until nearly sunset.  In came the clothes to dry in the dryer.

At the end of this week, I look around my home and feel pleased.  A few seasonal changes have been made in all the rooms.  The furniture has been nicely rearranged and the rooms look fresh.  I've made progress on my plans for this new season.  Next week I'll make more progress.  

I've missed John deeply today.  No particular reason why.  It just comes over me now and then.  I'll be going along perfectly happy in my homemaking and suddenly I'll feel a keen depth of an ache inside and it seem I can hardly bare to take a breath.  But given a moment or two to remember that this is mine to bear, I do take that breath and somehow another and then I can go on.  I go on.