Afternoon Coffee Chat: Weathering the Storm

Hello dears...Do come in.  I've a fresh pot of coffee and though it's hot outdoors, I confess that after my day in the kitchen this coffee is hitting the spot.  It is my signal that, except for completing the soup that we'll be having for supper, I am DONE for the day.

Do have some coffee and a cookie, too, if you'd like and come and sit here near me and have a good old fashioned chat of  this and that and nothing much.

September has proven to be a very busy month.  Far more busy than I'd anticipated when it was not quite here.  Oh I had plans made, I generally do, but then there were so many things I hadn't planned upon.  Those things took me by surprise and yet they were right and purposeful.  I do love how I can have my plans and then God has his plans for me.



I've said multiple times, too many times to count, that I love some alone time.  It's time when I can be just as busy as I choose and think my thoughts as I go and not be interrupted.  I've struggled with the times when I have to be full 'on' every minute, when my attentions can't just be on my work but must be divided this way and that as well.  It leaves me feeling anxious to some extent, and stretched too far.  In the past, I've been downright whiny or so irritable that no nice name could be found for me.

The weekend before Tropical Storm Irma decided to downgrade from being a total Hurricane, I had family and strangers come into my home to ride it out.  Bess and Sam and their boys, and my three grandchildren whom I tend to call the Kingsland Trio, though they now live in Jacksonville, with the two people who were their guardians for the weekend came in on Friday afternoon.  The weather was gorgeous here in Georgia.  It was cool, so nicely cool!, and sunny and the kids ran free for three days running.  The hardest part for them was our insistence they wait until the grass dried on Saturday and Sunday mornings.  That usually occurs about 11am or so and even then it's still slightly damp but it's not too wet.

The children slept like they'd never slept after all that running about outdoors.  They drew pictures on the patio.  They ran up and down hill.  The most amazing sight of all to me was Bess who ran downhill and up again...with Josh sitting on her shoulders.  I swear I wondered if she'd decided to train for the NFL or something!

The strangers were okay people.  I'd met Jolon once before, but had never met his partner.  She was quite nice and that made it easier.  I don't really like strangers staying overnight in my home, but I bit back all my anxiety and took the good,getting to see those three grandchildren from Jacksonville, with the bad, feeling slight anxiety.  It was really, sort of wonderful how things worked out.  I did all the cooking, the others were really in charge of all the children and they took on certain tasks that simply made the day go easier.  Jolon appointed himself in charge of trash which was plentiful with three meals for 10 going on the table each day.  Bess or Kaitlyn ended up spending time with the children. 

When outdoors palled they played with the old toys in the toy box, or with the musical instruments in the music room and eventually I dragged out crayons and paper and that too proved to be a huge hit.  Do you know that from Friday afternoon until they left on Tuesday morning, not one minute of television was watched by those children?  Daniel only played with his kindle for a few minutes and then he was back outdoors playing.  I thought it really rather wonderful that old fashioned 'play' worked just as well as ever with today's kids.  I guess that proves those pundits wrong who think modern day children can't play  as they used to do and must be entertained, huh?

We had few quarrels and upsets and that's something of a wonder too, when you have four children playing together.   Occasionally one would wander off alone and have quiet time but mostly they all played and played well.

Josh's only concession to being the youngest was having to take his daily nap, which must of been much needed because he slept for easily two or three hours each day.  His potty training took a big forward step in that he got up at night to go potty on his own and never wet or messed up his clothes at all.  I was so proud of him!

I was chief baby rocker, because Isaac did not feel good and he simply would not go to sleep in his Mama's arms for anything.  I don't smell like milk, which helps a great deal.  I also tend to be a little more firm in my approach.  I get him comfortable and hold him firmly and rock, rock, rock.  I found that any odd sound immediately quieted fussing, so I'd whistle, or click my tongue and he'd quiet down right off trying to see what the noise was.  And then before he knew it, he'd gone to sleep, lol.  I am a baby whisperer where that little boy is concerned.

I was glad to see my grandchildren play together and wished mightily that Taylor and the four in North Dakota might also be here, but really we had quite enough people in this house.  It never seems terribly small when it's just John and I but add in ten and it suddenly is full to bursting.   Isaac's bed was in guest room with Bess and Sam.  I offered Bess the room right away because she needed a private place to nurse and to put the boys down for naps.  The first two nights all four of the children slept in the music room but Josh protested long and hard on Saturday night and was having absolutely none of it on Sunday night.  I sort of suspect there were scary stories told and he is just too young for that.  So he slept in the room with Bess the last two nights which meant practically no sleep for her.  Jolon and Kaitlyn each had a bed in the living room.  She slept on the army cot and Jolon had the pallet.  I made his bed as thick and cushy as I could and he hinted strongly that she and he should take turns on the cot but she was having none of that.   I'm awfully glad I had that army cot and I mean to try and find more of them.

I split bathrooms between groups of five and that meant Josh had a dedicated spot for his potty seat which he soon removed and refused to use because the other boys didn't use one.  As I said, he even got up at night, came into my room and used the bathroom and slipped right back out again, which made me feel very proud of him.

Sunday morning he climbed into bed with John and I.  It was only the three of us who were awake and Josh and I talked a bit.  He was very happy to be here with 'the cousins', as he kept referring to them.  Family is a dear thing to that little boy.   I confess that the three Cheney children simply don't seem to have that strong a sense of family.  Oh they know Grampa and Gramma well enough and mom and dad but they are more standoffish when it comes to relationships beyond those.  Josh on the other hand feels his attachments to others strongly and I think it was his own dogged attitude of doing every thing they did and being part of their group that eventually had them draw him fully in and count him as one of them.

At some point in the weekend I had time with each of the children except Zach, who just isn't all that into close intimate one on one time.  I loved seeing all of their personalities and I wish I knew just what approach Zach requires to make him come in near to me.  He's independent and content to do things outdoors and indoors on his own and sort of self contained.  However, I had my time Sunday morning with Josh in our room and a little time with Hailey and Daniel while in the kitchen.  "Helping Gramma" was top priority for the both of them and they did help, too.  It just took me a moment or two to get back into the swing of having a child helper in the kitchen.

As for me, there was no such thing as alone time at all.  It was breakfast, dinner and lunch time or nap time for baby Isaac or clearing up the kitchen time or bedtime but no alone time.  I did get rather frustrated on Monday evening when we were without power and I was in super coping mode.  Oldest grandson Daniel has always wanted you to explain why things are done a certain way, why we have certain rules, why this and why that.  He's eight and it's no longer 'just a stage' but part of who he is.  I'd already explained twice why I was doing something and it was warm and I was tired and worried as to how well the real emergency plans for water were going to go and he wanted me to explain again why I was doing a task.  I snapped at him and told him I simply hadn't the patience to explain thirteen times why I was doing as I was doing that it was enough for him to just do it.  I regret that and I don't.  I'd discovered earlier in the weekend that as annoying as he can be at times, he's also aware that he's annoying and while his curiosity of the whys and explanations for reasons is part and parcel of who he is there are just times when it's too much and he's old enough to understand that.

So that part of the Storm was handled and all packed up on Tuesday morning in misty rain and headed home once more.  Their homes were not damaged or flooded but they too lost electric power.  Ironically, they all had power before the day was out.  Ours, on the other hand, didn't return until the end of the week...

It wasn't so terribly bad, at first.  It was cool until Wednesday afternoon and then it only got a little stuffy indoors.  The occasional breeze that blew in through the window was rather nice.  But Thursday...Thursday was harder to bear. John went back to work.  The weather changed entirely.  Hot and still with not one breeze to break the spell.  I worked during the morning hours but for the afternoon and evening, I settled near a window and read or worked puzzles or did a Bible study.  I sponged off with cool water frequently and used the old fashioned cardboard fan John brought home to me back during the Spring.  I drank lots of water and even dared dig into the freezer and take out ice twice so that I could have a cold drink.  It melted so quickly in the heat it was hardly worth the effort of getting it out.

I bore up well Tuesday and Wednesday but by Thursday, though I was alone, I was beyond miserable and heat had only a tiny portion to do with it.  The truth is that alone or not on Thursday, I dealt with endless inquiries from my niece and John about when the power would return, as well as from a bevy of family who were concerned.   It was bad enough the previous two days but John and my niece were like pesky mosquitoes who knew just when to buzz near your ear and boy were they persistent.

I'm telling you for true that the very moment I was lost in the book, had just dozed off to nap, or was fairly content, there was either Ashley or John on the phone complaining.  It made the day that was hard even harder.  John finally insisted I call the power outage number again though they had stopped taking calls two days before.  So I called the local office, the one where I make my payments, and talked to a man who listened patiently to my ramblings and queries, answered best as he could and assured me that we'd have power by the end of the week and that they crews were working round the clock.  Since it was Thursday, I sincerely hoped he was telling the truth about our having power by end of the week and hoped mightily that meant Friday and not Saturday or Sunday!

I finally told John during one of his frequent calls that my only consolation with the continuing power outage was that he was at work with Air conditioning, running water, television, and internet.   I'd so hoped he would be satisfied with those things but no, he spent nearly all day long worrying over our lack of electricity at home.   His partner happened to pass the doorway as we were on the phone that last time and overheard my snappy reply and told John to get off the phone and leave me alone, lol.  I was grateful to him...

Now it was more understandable from my niece.  Her home isn't nearly as light and bright as mine and she had her three and four year old children to deal with.  She was mighty worried about losing her food supplies in the freezer and I suspected her freezer wasn't nearly as well packed as my own.  By Thursday we'd lost all we had in the fridges at both places so the loss of the freezer things was going to hit her especially hard.  I did understand that.

I went to bed Thursday night with the window wide open right next to my bed and I loathe sleeping with an open window when I'm all alone.  Too many of John's crime shows haunt the back recesses of my brain.  Even in as isolated a spot as we live in, even when Maddie mostly barks when strangers arrive, I was nervous and slept badly.  And when I woke for the last time on Friday morning and realized that the power hadn't been restored overnight as I'd prayed, I wept.  I felt such a wimp, too, when I did, but I will say that allergies had plagued me since open windows ensued and I'd awakened congested, headachy, with matted eyes and stuffy nose and it was all just.too.much. at that point in time.  I did not look forward to John coming in from work even though I prepared a good breakfast for him and even though I'd excelled at making good percolator coffee all week long.  I just wanted it all to be done.

I will say that from my perspective, aside from that rotten allergy going on, I really enjoyed those pleasant cool days with the windows open.  I enjoyed hearing the birds singing, which they did with a will of rebuilding following the storm that sounded like a new spring day outdoors.    I enjoyed the quiet and the lack of chaotic noise.  I enjoyed the conversations John and I had over the two days he was home, aside from the frustration he voiced regularly about the electric being off.  I slept like I seldom sleep, in the quiet of the nights.  I enjoyed the simplicity that life took on.  I worked, because there is always work to be done whether or not there's electricity, but I enjoyed the quiet working hours and the quiet resting hours and the quiet in between hours.  I enjoyed the simpler meals and despite my dislike of disposables, I enjoyed not having a major clearing up following each meal.

John came in with a fresh attitude on Friday morning.  He apologized to me for being so miserable and trying so hard to insure I knew how miserable he was.  We had a nice cup of perked coffee together on the front porch.  We ate our breakfast.  I worked indoors doing various things I hadn't done during the previous days.   He sat on the front porch and played his guitar and sang praise songs I haven't heard in a long while.  The birds sang along with him, thrilled to hear music that wasn't of their own making. 

When he finally came indoors, I was finished with my work.  The house was cooler than it had been and I sat down to read and we both closed our eyes for a bit.  Just as I began to doze, I heard a truck grind up the road and I asked John, "Do you suppose that's the road scraper?"  He said he felt sure it was.  And then we heard a second truck grind up the road.  And then the 'beep, beep, beep' that big trucks make backing up and Maddie began to bark.  Just a little tiny part of me was sorry as could be that it was sure to be the linemen come to tend to our downed lines.  It was so peaceful.  If we could have just had a fan blowing on us in the warmer part of the day, I think I could have managed okay.  I dreaded the return of television and noise and much as I longed to return to the internet and see what everyone I 'know' is up to, I hadn't missed it a great deal.

We had power within a couple of hours of their driving up.  Ashley was so excited by the idea of a return of electricity  that she kept texting me, lol.  John immediately began to plan all the housework he wanted to get done now that we could run washer and vacuum and dryer and water.  I felt tired just listening to him but we had it all done in a bit over two hours.  When it was all done and we were nearly finished for the day, John asked what I wanted next and laughed heartily when I replied that I was just longing for nice cool shower instead of the hot one he was sure I'd want.  Well I'd had plenty of nice warm baths from the basin but to stand under a cool showerhead of running water seemed about the epitome of luxury to me!   When dishes were washed and put away after supper, the house was Shabbat ready.  I hadn't time to bake bread as I'd planned to do so we let a hamburger bun suffice.

We used electric kilowatts as though we needed to make up in one day for the four days we'd been without on Friday afternoon.  But we also took away something that I hope we hang on to and that is the idea that just because we have electricity, it's not necessarily the be and end all.  We want to buy a percolator, a real honest to goodness sit it on the stove percolator.  The thrift store purchase was fine but has a tiny leak about the handle rivet.  It was seriously good coffee and not just because there was no other to be had.  Perked coffee just plain tastes better than drip coffee and I liked being able to take it all apart and wash it all after each day's coffee was made.

John has watched even less television than he'd been watching.  He's less prone to turn on things just to hear 'noise'.  I found that Pinterest had seriously palled while I was offline.  I think I'll go back to just looking it over once a week instead of once a day.  I found I had far more reading time and conversation time and working time when I wasn't tied to the computer for hours on end.  I've promised myself to honor my curfew each evening and I don't check mail or Facebook multiple times of day.

It's no secret to me that I sleep best in quiet but I didn't realize how very restful having quiet about you can be, with or without sleep.  The quiet days seemed to unwind something that was wound far too tight within me

These are all early days yet, but still...I feel a change has taken place and I like it.  And then there's one other thing...

Two years ago, just after my health crisis, we had some family news that left us stunned.  I won't share the circumstances but to say that it was shocking would be putting it mildly.  Our family reeled with the information we'd been given.  John and I were driven to prayer and seeking help with two pastors we knew and trusted.  Our family was divided on what the 'right' outcome of the situation should/would be.  We went through twenty-six months of hell,  of soul searching and seeking God and praying without end.  We paid a high price for our views on the matter.  We pretty much lost all contact with that trio of grandchildren.  We could only maintain relationship with them if we did things that went against the very laws of God himself.  In the end, we had to make that sacrifice and it was a hard one to make, let me assure you.  We were so pained that we could barely speak of the children and we altered our route on vacation to avoid going near the town where they lived because even driving through the place, knowing we were denied the right to see them was unbearable.

The children were sent away from home during  the hurricane last year when it hit their area.  For whatever reason, this time it was deemed that the safest place the children could ride out this storm was in my home and for that I am grateful.  I didn't have to compromise the tenets by which we live. I didn't have to apologize for taking the stand we did.  We were asked if they could be here and I said yes.   I did have to admit strangers into my home but it was a small price to pay.  They were nice people, willing to abide by our rules, who knew the whole set of circumstances and didn't judge us harshly for our stance, nor demand to know why we hadn't backed down. 

To have those children in my home this past week, and see how they've grown and changed, to have moments to reassure them that they were loved and thought of daily and often, to spend time with them in my kitchen and kiss them goodnight and hug them in the mornings was a blessing beyond any I could have been given.

On Friday, when the week was nearly over we heard that this chapter of our lives where we'd been expected to act differently than our faith demanded was over and done.  I don't know that we'll see the children anymore often, or even when we might see them again, but this battle is over and done and I'm so grateful that as difficult as it was, as many tears as we shed over it all, that we stood strong for what we believed was right.

I suppose I should put away this coffee.  It's gotten cold.  And look at how late it's gotten...But wasn't it nice to sit and chat once more?  I've missed being neighborly.  Have you?