Diary of a Homemaker: Doing What We Can

 

Saturday:  I'd at least had coffee and breakfast when Katie called to ask if I'd watch Caleb today.  I headed over to her house, where I spent the morning and afternoon chasing down a very spry almost 3-year-old.   Gramma can move quicker than she'd supposed but all that jogging around the house made her very weary.  By the time Katie returned, I felt like a black cloud and acted like one when I got home.

This is where the unexpected message of a dear soul did me a world of good and allowed me the privilege of messaging with her for a little bit to get my head straightened out.  She helped me see that though I might feel at times that I am caring for everyone, and no one is caring for me, in fact, many of you, including herself, are caring for me with your prayers and your encouragement.  I felt my spirit lighten and the dark cloud lift as we took a few minutes to chat.    

Thank you, dear ones.   Thank you so much for giving me just what I need at this time.  Never underestimate the power of a simple message, a virtual hug, to soothe and help.  

Sunday:  John declared that today should be my day off and I would let others run to give help or not as they chose.  Resented it last night but so grateful for it today.  It makes Katie realize how badly she needs rest and allows her to tend to her household needs.  I think she plans to get groceries today.

And what a blessing it's proven to be to be 'at home' today!  John's back continues to bother him, and he refuses to go to church where he must hobble from parking lot to sanctuary without a place to pause and rest.  Can't blame him for that.  He'd never allow ME to put him out at the door, the way he tries to do for me.  But again, it's proven to be a blessing to be at home.

First, as were starting to watch our morning service, a friend/former co-worker who'd called John out of the blue last week and left an encouraging message (he has no idea what's going on in our lives, it was truly out of the blue), called to say he was trying to find our home.   When he arrived, I noted he had his wife with him.  I gently encouraged her to come sit with me on the back porch and we had a lovely visit.  She said over and over again how peaceful it was here.   She was a lovely woman.  

I noted early dementia signs as she tended to repeat the same things over and over again as though they were freshly said.   She said she was 80 but she didn't look a minute of it. She did truly seem happy and at one point turned with utter awe and wonder to the coleus sitting beside her and exclaimed over the way the color glowed with the sunlight filtering through.  It made me look at the same plant with wonder as well, though it is not new to me.  

The men were sitting on the front porch and had their conversation on their own there.  We two women were in complete peace with our back porch sitting and chat.

When they'd gone, we came indoors and were sitting here in our chairs when we saw Sam drive across the back yard through the gap in the hedge between our properties.  He'd made clotted cream this morning and wanted me to try some of it.  He and I had a nice long chat.  I shared with him about visiting the boys at their classes on Friday and how both were when I was with them.  He shared some things with me and then he came into the living room to visit with John.  Katie called during that time.  I took the phone to the kitchen sitting and spoke with her and got the latest update on Steven.

He's been moved to a floor with heavier patient care.  I won't go into what they've dealt with on the previous floor but it's enough to make you shiver.  There is a concern that there are a few things wrong that haven't been picked up on and are now being checked over.  That's a long way from a nurse who hinted yesterday that he'd be going home 'any day now' which sent off alarm bells as no one has discussed after care with his mother, but no mention of it all from the PA today.

Katie was planning to do grocery shopping, something she truly does need to go do, and wanted to know if I wanted to go along, but I didn't.  I am trying to hold off doing any more grocery shopping until after our payday this week and I just didn't want to leave home.  I'll be in the area at least three times next week and can go then if I need anything.

All the while we were visiting with friends and Sam, I had a roast chicken with apples, onions, carrots and potatoes in the oven.  It was emitting the loveliest, homiest aromas all morning long.   Sam commented on how good the house smelled while he was here.

He helped John do some stretches that hopefully will help him with his pain levels and free up his tensed muscles.  John has promised me he'd do them once or twice a day.  Sam left, planning to run an errand in town and said he'd run by and look at a light that was going out on Katie's car. She'd said he didn't have to run by as long as she knew what it was but as Sam pointed out, it's a safety issue and he'd rather attend to it since she's going to be going back and forth to the hospital still, not to mention work and all that.

We'd just sat down with our plates when I glanced over and saw Sam's wallet sitting on the table next to the chair where he'd been sitting.  I called him and he answered with "Did I leave my wallet there?"  lol He'd been just about to call me.  So, he ran back out to pick that up.  

Mama and I talked this afternoon on the phone.  I hadn't heard from her on Friday as usual and I was a bit concerned and kept thinking I needed to call her.  When she texted, I made it a point to call her back.

It's been a busy day here in our home but as John said to me at dinner time, "What a blessing today has been!"

I'm going to try and figure out what meals I might make this next week on the afternoons I'm picking up Caleb.  We find that if we can toss something in the microwave to reheat and get it on the table quickly, then he's happier than if there's a long process to wait through.  My ideas include hot dogs and chips, the Spaghetti ala Diable even though I've no mushrooms to go in the dish (but I do have plenty of leftover chicken) and some sort of vegetable and fruit, and a very easy sort of Shepherd's Pie that I think he'll like, with fruit cocktail.

And that's about as deep as my plans for the week ahead go.  Picking up Caleb from nursery and attending to him, plus getting our bills paid this week and planning what grocery shopping will look like are as far as I'm going.

Monday:  I woke early this morning and got up out of bed thinking John was up and awake.  I was so shocked when I walked back into the bedroom and found him lying in bed...and obviously having been there all along as I'd tossed my covers right over him in my getting up.   I decided an early morning cup of coffee on the back porch would be lovely.  

I generally try to sneak outdoors but this morning that was no good as both Misu and Rufus were already there.  In fact, when I opened the back door, they were both doing the animal version of Downward Facing Dog.  I was much amused that my first vision of the morning was of the pet's doing yoga.   

I tried to sit on the back porch.  Rufus was content to sit at my feet, but Misu insisted she needed petting and she really wanted to be petted while sitting in my lap.  I am allergic to her, so I try to avoid more than cursory pettings. She was having none of that this morning.  Instead, I had to sit and actively pet her though I did discourage her getting into my lap.  Once in your lap, she begins to drool, and the saliva is the real allergen.

I ended up having to come back indoors with my coffee and sit in the kitchen sitting area.  That was not a hardship.  I enjoy that spot and find it lovely in all seasons of the year.

We are having pre-Autumn like weather.  Mornings are cooler but meant to cool down still more in the next day or so, at least for mornings.  That means a bit of fog, a lot of dew and the sun setting the world sparkling as it rises.  It's all very lovely.  And sad.  Again, I feel more and more each year a very real grieving time as I watch summer turn into autumn and perhaps even more than usual this year with all that is going on in our lives at present. 

I've been worrying over Steven...I'm certain that something more is wrong that hasn't been caught just yet and so I called our church and requested prayer for him, while also giving an update of what's happened since I first called.  His mom has returned home for her job, Katie is busy with her work.  I feel obligated to be near home in case Caleb should get sick and I am watching over John who is better but not yet himself.   Yet, I feel that Steven might benefit from visitors.  I can't do all things; I have to remind myself of that, but I wish I could be two of me at times.  

When I finally set to work this morning, I got the check register totted up and then jotted down the bills and such that must be paid this week.  Not as many as usual since this was one of the five week pay periods which seem to come around all too often, and so many of the bills had to be paid early in order to make their due dates.  

As I worked with bills, I got more and more uneasy and anxious.  I have no clue why this is so because we have enough to cover all our bills and necessities.  I had nothing I'd failed to account for.  I think it's just a general uneasiness about all areas of life and so everything triggers a bit more anxiety.   

After I'd finished that task, I went into the kitchen and began meal prep for several meals.  I made a Kid's Favorite Casserole (a version of cottage pie), Spaghetti ala Diable which is one of my favorite ways to use leftover cooked chicken, and then I decided to use the rest of the chicken to make a small batch of Brunswick Stew.  I'd planned to make soup this week anyway, and I thought why not make the stew instead.  It's simmering on the stove right now and it smells so good.  Typically, when I make this stew, the recipe makes enough to share amongst our three households and a pint or so for Mama but this time I'm not making a full batch.  I'm making a rather small batch.

These three items will easily serve us two meals each this week.  I have plans for two other meals that might also be easily made, but truly this is enough for now.   I don't want too much packed into the fridge and getting lost, you know?

Last week, as I was sorting out things in the cupboards and freezer (still need to work on the pantry), I was making notes of expired items that I should start using up.  One thing I came across was a huge can of coffee that expired last year about this time!  I was so upset but upon opening, found it was quite fresh.  Originally when I got the Keurig, it was my intention to use the refillable cups and regular ground coffee.  It was John who insisted we buy k-cups.  They are convenient but unnecessary in my opinion. 

So, we've been ordering k-cups.  I do have a price point of 30c or less per cup, but this coffee we're currently using (Great Value) is so inexpensive and tastes every bit as good.  At today's price (I'm pretty sure I purchased the can two years ago) it works out to about 4.5cents a cup!  I told John we'd be using up that coffee until it's all gone (2 cans of regular, 1 of decaf), but I think it would be more than worthwhile to swap entirely.  I need to order another set of refillable k-cups, as several of mine have been loaned out to the other households.   After a bit of discussion which concluded with the savings, we'd realize each month (about $60!), John was sold on the idea of using the refillable cups.

I'm especially happy about this savings as it means we'll have wiggle room in the grocery budget for other things that I feel are far more important, though I'm not downplaying the role of coffee in my household.  I am a much nicer person for it, lol!

Tuesday:  I'm hoping we can find our new routine this week.  Katie currently plans to visit three evenings after work, and I'll pick up Caleb those days and take him home.  

She'd told me he had a really rough start to his day, and it had apparently carried over but there was no sign of it when I picked him up.  He was playing happily with another child, and he was peaceful and happy all the way home.  I was able to get supper heated without any meltdown on his part and he ate most of the food on his plate.  He didn't last until his Mama came in a bit after 8, but he was so obviously ready to go to bed that I put him to bed, and he went right to sleep.

No clue why I slept like I was exhausted but I didn't awaken until nearly 10am this morning!  I was so shocked when I looked at my phone.  I think it must have been considerably cooler because the AC didn't come on today at all, which probably accounted for my sleeping so heavily as well. 

One of the things I hate is that our huge AC unit is right outside our bedroom window.  Lifegoals for winning the lottery do NOT include a new home.  It does indeed include the complete removal and rerouting of our AC/heat pump so that it's at the south end of the house where there are closets on the end of the house thus muffling the noise to the bedrooms.   It's every bit as loud or louder in the winter if we have a freeze because it then goes into defrost mode and shakes the panes in the bedroom window, sigh.

At any rate, I slept hard and slept well.  John put on a run of a ministry program we'd normally watch on Monday evening.  That was a nice thing to listen to upon waking, as I sipped my morning coffee.  After that I felt it was time to consider lunch since we'd missed breakfast entirely.

I've not felt much like doing a lot this afternoon, but I made up my mind I'd do little things at least.  The bed got made, the dishes I'd washed yesterday and left to air dry were put away.  I loaded the dishwasher and washed a load of dishes in that.  I've already unloaded those and put them away, too. I moved a pile of stuff that has accumulated in the guest room out to the back porch, even though I didn't feel up to making the multi-trip trek to the shed with it all.   I also made cookies this afternoon, using up some shredded wheat cereal bits that were left in the bottom of one of those huge bags.  It was about a cup of crumbs, and they worked well in my Ranger cookies which actually calls for one cup of wheat cereal, though I did find I needed to add a bit of milk to the cookie dough (not called for) to make it the proper consistency.  

Those dishes got cleaned up and the kitchen floor has been swept.  I'm going to go start our supper and this day is pretty much done.  While supper is cooking, I'm also going to do a quick inventory of my pantry.  Maybe I didn't do a lot, but I've done something.  I have a feeling that rest was just what I did need, more than pushing myself to accomplish big things.  

later:  Lana's been keeping me up to date on the electric pressure canner, so I know when it drops in price. Well, the price dropped a little lower than it had originally been before summer, but I just couldn't make myself pull the trigger and hit purchase.  Waiting paid off.  I went back to look at the item again this evening.  My credit card app kicked in and pointed me to the same canner on another site for $31 less plus free shipping...This was a price I really couldn't see my passing up.  So, I hopped on it and got the canner for 20% less than half the current going price, including shipping.  

I'm so excited for what this means for my household.  I can now home can my own soups, chili, spaghetti sauce, enchilada sauce, and meat.  Come next year I'll be able to put up the low acid vegetables and such as well.  I plan to take out and thaw all the quarts of spaghetti sauce, broth, Brunswick Stew, etc. and can those when this thing arrives.  It will give me much needed space in my freezer and a start on my home canning journey.

I used savings to make this purchase, but I do plan to pay it back.  I'll put a portion of my grocery money into savings each month until I've made it up, since this will really be part of my groceries in future.

Wednesday:  A long and disheartening day...

It didn't begin that way.  No indeed.  It was lovely and sunny and cooler and stayed that way all day long.  First order of business was to work on our bills for the month and take a few moments to determine when our next pay period would occur.  Thankfully in just four weeks for the next two months and then come December, we'll have a five-week wait between pays.  I'm going to set aside a little money each of these three months to help us maneuver that next five-week period.

I went out this morning after doing light housework (very light here of late) and took the things I'd moved from guest room out to the shed.  In order to do that though I had to empty my wagon and I found it full of water and the iris I'd dug two weeks ago.  I'd completely forgotten I'd dug them up!

I took a few minutes to put the ones that were still good into the ground and felt rather accomplished for that.  Then I hauled things out to the shed and took time to put most of them away properly before heading back indoors.

Anxiety built as the day went on.  And then a text from Katie saying that Steven was in for a third surgery this time to clear his surgical incision of infection.  It does seem it's always one step forward and two steps back in this situation.

John's hurting enough with his back that he didn't want to go with me to pick up Caleb this evening.  I've been antsy about him, too.  I hate his being down and out like this.  We haven't been to church in two weeks.  Admittedly the first Sunday we missed more because of Caleb's needs and less because of John's back, but it went out at the same time as all this other started.   

I went off to fetch Caleb alone, went by to pick up a prescription, had to take a longer way home due to traffic patterns.  Caleb got very ill and fussy on the last leg of our journey home, and I discovered the sun was shining directly into his face.  I'd have been irritable as could be as well, but not a darned thing I could do to offset it at that point.

I got him fed and settled, did laundry and loaded dishes at the town house and then put him to bed.  Katie was later coming in and she cried when she did.  She too is feeling the stress and strain of it all, plus more upon her shoulders.   "There's not enough pieces of me to go around!" she wailed at one point, and I assured her there was NOT nor was there going to be.  "This is something every woman understands at some point Katie.  Something or someone always falls into the cracks when we're trying to do the impossible, as you are now.  You're not doing it wrong.  You're not meant to manage it all.  It just can't happen."

Still, all of it left me disheartened as could be.  

Thursday:  There is nothing worse than having a disheartening day followed by a restless night.  It left me so low in spirits I didn't think I'd ever get high enough to see sunlight today.   Regardless, I had a list of things I must do, and I did them.

Light housework, which is the story of my days here of late.  It's light housework everywhere and no real deep cleaning or accomplishment.   I asked John if he'd go with me to get groceries though I didn't expect him to walk about the store with me.    After going over sales at four or five stores, I'd settled on Kroger as my most likely one stop shopping deal and so we headed to a smaller store in a small town that I prefer over others just as near.

I did really well today.  No, I didn't get everything I wanted.  Some things were out or looked poor like romaine hearts.  I found it a little bit disturbing that most of the produce had NO prices on it.  Seriously.  I just grabbed a bag or item of things I knew I needed and hoped when I got to the register, I wasn't in for too a big a shock when it rang up.   Just as last time, I found a few clearance items worth snatching up.  When I asked a clerk about pricing even on the marked down section of produce, his reply said it all.  "It rings up at the register..." and he pretty much refused to mark a price on anything even from the reduced-price section.  I don't know if this is because prices are changing so rapidly or what.  

I tried to shop carefully buying only what I knew I was out of entirely or needed a minimum of until I can find a better price.  I confess though, as I rolled my cart towards the checkout lane, I was very nervous about what my total was going to come up too.  I was pleasantly surprised to find that I'd left nothing on my list behind and came in under my limit.  I couldn't believe I'd done so well and wondered if there was a mistake somewhere.

John surprised me by taking us around to the little 'getaway restaurant' and having lunch there.  I hadn't expected that at all.  That was a lovely little respite and one we surely needed.  (P.s. Thank you Wendy!  It was a good suggestion on your part and certainly gave up the 'rest' from the routine we're following just now.)

It's been a beautiful mild autumn-ish day.  I know we officially have a week to go yet of summer but truly it's more autumn-like than summer outdoors now.  

Are things any brighter than they were yesterday?  Not really.  Things are pretty much the same.  What was unresolved and difficult yesterday are as much so today.  We're just trying hard to keep things to the day we're in and not carry it over or borrow it from the day to come.

Friday:  I was up early this morning, about an hour before John.  I have started adding a bit of cinnamon to my morning coffee.  It's such a lovely autumn-y sort of way to start off a cool morning in the kitchen, gazing out the window at the sparkling dewy world and sniffing that warming spice.  I can live without pumpkin spice anything, but I do love spices this time of year and you're more than likely going to find me baking gingerbreads and spice cakes and incorporating cinnamon and allspice into stews and other savory dishes.

I had difficulty falling asleep again last night.  After a bit I just give up and put in my earbuds and listen to music, or in true desperation, I'll put on one of the more long-winded vloggers I watch and as her voice drones on, I finally drift off, lol.  I really like the lady, and she's interesting to watch but she does go on for quite a long while and I do find she will put me to sleep.

I sorted out my fridge.  Took out the compost.  Tossed one serving of Chicken Pot Pie that I failed to make use of.  Rufus isn't fond of our leftovers.  River was the clean-up dog for all things leftover at both houses.  By the way, River, that lovely big white dog, has been missing now for four weeks.  I miss her even more than I miss Maddie.  Bess is grieving over her as well she might.  

I have leftovers heating in the oven just now.  I've already baked bread and hot dog buns for tonight's hot dog supper which Caleb will be excited over.   We've done all the weekly laundry and refreshed our linens in the bed and bathrooms.  We've done all the Sabbath cleaning.  The rest of the afternoon is quiet time for us both and then I'll go pick up Caleb.

My smart canner arrived.  It's both a pressure cooker (instant pot) and a canner.  I'm going to spend the weekend watching videos to see how it's used as a canner and a pressure cooker both and we'll go from there.  Admittedly, I bought it mostly for the canning function rather than the pressure-cooking function.  

Lana has recommended this product over and over again, so I'm really looking forward to getting some use from it.  

That's it for me this week.  I'm working on a Coffee Chat post for mid-September but would appreciate you all keeping Steven and Katie in your prayers.  

And I want to thank all of you one last time for the well wishes, the gifts, the prayers.  They've meant so much to us!

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