Diary of a Homemaker: The Longest Week

 

Labor Day:  It's been a crazy five days. Katie's fellow is stabilizing, still awaiting that second surgery.  We had Caleb here Thursday night, I stayed with him at his home on Friday and spent the night there. Bess took him to her house Saturday evening, we had a family dinner of sorts on yesterday with happy children and weary adults, then Bess and I did a split shift at Katie's last night.  I kept him through the evening, and she came in to sleep at that house.   John went and picked him up this morning to relieve Bess and I thanked goodness I'd discovered a store of frozen pancakes in the freezer last week just before all of this hit us.

I am very mindful of the fact that come what may, laundry, food, dishes and trash must be attended to.  The world isn't going to stop over un-swept floors nor over yardwork or even unmade beds, but tempers are going to flare if food isn't forthcoming when we're hungry, dishes must be had to be eaten off of (though I am using my supply of paper plates when possible) or used for cooking and clean clothes can't be had for lack of washing.  AThe place smells better if trash is attended to on a regular basis.

Oddly enough, it was the subject of food that brought on the last round of temper in my home.  John feels I am expecting too much of myself to provide food for us at this time.  I pointed out that we have loads of food in the house, all of which is frozen solid (proteins), and little of which is low prep stuff.  I reminded him I am the only cook in the house (aside from the frying of eggs, and the occasional hot dog).  We don't have take-out options here in town for supper, only for breakfast and lunch, and if we did eat those meals out, that would be mighty pricey mighty quick because lunch alone is enough to take a goodly portion of any entertainment fund we have.  Katie was due a trip to the grocery store this past weekend and then all of this happened.  She might have food in her deep freezer, but I haven't checked to see.  I did notice the produce was low and she lacked milk for Caleb, but she had a good supply of his favorite breakfast foods.  

I thawed out ground beef, beef shanks and had a rotisserie chicken in the fridge that I bought on clearance at Kroger on Friday when we ran out to boost our grocery supplies. Kroger often marks down the rotisserie chickens to less than $5, both the whole birds and those cut into pieces.  Well worth grabbing up if you see them.  I thought we'd eat this one over the weekend and we didn't.

I made chili, spaghetti, have the shanks in the slow cooker at present, stripped the chicken from the frame and made a chicken pot pie and set some of the extra meat aside with a bit of frozen chicken and rice for another dish at some point soon.  I gave Katie a portion of the chili and spaghetti sauce, put a portion into the freezer and left enough out to have for dinners this week. 

I then went through my freezer and made note of all the already prepared foods I had stashed in the freezer and took note of those items that can be easily prepared. I feel I have about a two-week supply of easy meals now.  I'll have to buy lettuce soon, but we have loads of options for canned and frozen vegetables and plenty of canned fruit on hand.   

Food is covered.  Laundry is caught up (mostly John's task here.  I have been doing Katie's laundry at her house).  Trash is bagged up.  Dishes will be finished in a bit.   I'm resting today.  We have about 12 hours in which we think we know what will happen, but who knows how the day will unfold?  But for the moment, that's a LOT.  We can breathe.

These meals I made today, along with what I have in the freezer will likely be on repeat for a few weeks because they are both inexpensive and easy to make, and leftovers heat well.  All the ingredients are always on hand.  I have to remind myself that it's quite all right not to have a different meal every day for a month or two.  It's not my normal way of cooking but right now it's all about what is going to serve us best and save me the most physically.

Someone asked for my favorite pie crust recipe.  Since I used it just this morning to make two squash pies (mix of acorn and butternut) I'll happily share it while it's fresh on my mind:

Favorite Pie Crust

1 3/4 cup flour

1/2 tsp salt

1 tablespoon sugar

1/2 cup of shortening

3-4 tablespoons cold water

I use my stand mixer to blend dry ingredients and shortening until it's coarse crumb, then add water. I find I usually need the larger amount.  The crumbs formed are simply larger.  Do not add extra water unless you live in a very dry climate!  Those moist crumbs will combine into a perfectly good pastry mound.  I don't bother to roll out but just put crumbs in my pie pan and then press with my palm and fingertips until I've built up the sides and have the bottom thin enough to suit me.  I find that the recipe, though it says it makes 1 9-inch crust will make 2 crusts, easily.  I doubled the recipe this morning and put the extra in the freezer as a crumb mixture and will use it in the future.

Tuesday:  Katie called last night to say that Caleb had had tummy issues all yesterday afternoon and was being kept to applesauce and toast.  All supposed plans changed immediately.  He couldn't go to nursery with a virus.  I made plans to keep him here, but John suggested it would be 'easier' if I kept him at his own home.  Yes and no, but right now I'm not arguing points as I seemingly have the same virus.  I agreed to go to his home. 

When I arrived, he greeted me with a real mess.  I took him right to the shower to clean him up.  More toast, applesauce and saltines.  I'd brought along gelatin thinking he'd enjoy that.  He did.  However, when it came time for a nap today, he was wired.  The afternoon was a long series of screaming tantrums and whining.  I'd love to tell you that was all Caleb.   

Finally, I texted John that I was coming home, and we'd head out to pick up a prescription that's been ready for over a week.  Great hopes that a ride would soothe the beasts and at least the most consistently loud would perhaps nap.  Nope.

John asked if I wanted to stop anywhere as we were on our way back, and I suggested running by the discount grocery.  The weekly ad included a sale on Golden Delicious apples, a variety I like but seldom find anywhere as they seem to have fallen from favor in the last 20 years.  They were a little over $1 a pound but still much less than many other varieties.  I grabbed two 3-pound bags of the apples emblazoned with "NEW CROP!"  I decided it was safe to see if Caleb could drink very watered-down juice and eat a banana on the way home. I assumed he was hungry.  I certainly was as our bland diet had left me a little hangry.  

I paused at the discounted produce bin.  I bought Roma tomatoes (about 3 pounds for 33c a pound), half a dozen avocados for 15c each, a pound bag of carrots for 75c.   The freezer case with frozen ground turkey and sausage was on my way to the register as well and that yielded pound packages of ground turkey for $2.42 a pound and ground turkey sausage for $2.53 a pound.  I picked up four of each and was back outside in under ten minutes.  John was impressed.  

Caleb was grateful for the banana but barely sipped the watered-down juice.

Katie called to say Steven finally had the second surgery.  She was heading up to the hospital after work.

More tantrums on the way home.  None of them were mine or John's.  When we got home, I put spaghetti sauce on to re-heat, cooked a full box of elbow macaroni and spooned just enough sauce over a portion to make the pasta have a wee bit of taste and prayed Caleb and I both could handle it.  By 6pm, he'd been cleaned up, changed into pajamas and was sound asleep.  I celebrated with a cup of coffee, flinging my fate to the winds.

We had set up his cot in the living room and then sat in the darkened room with him allowing him to sleep.  That was fine until about 9pm when he rolled off his cot (a whole six inches off the floor) and onto the floor.  I think it was actually the dark room that worried him, but he allowed Gramma to soothe him.  He was awake when his mama came in to fetch him.

Wednesday:  Pleasantly surprised at how easy it was to regain control of my home this morning after the mess I left Tuesday.  Time for Bible Study and puttering around the back yard to look over plants and flowers.  

I've been very anxious all day today and can't seem to get it to lift.  Crop duster repeatedly flew over the house and only added to the tension I already feel.  

Grateful I have a plan for today for meals.  Grateful Steven is improving.  Grateful we can hopefully fall into some sort of routine.  Grateful that I took August off to enjoy the month.

Picking Caleb up at nursery and then we'll do our best.

Thursday:  Katie had planned to skip hospital today and come home.  I hold plans loosely these days, but I allowed myself to relax a bit and instead of feeling pushed, I just did what I felt like doing.  As it happened what I felt like doing was a Shabbat cleaning, even if it is Thursday.   

John and I went to the trash dump and on the way back, I cried all the way home.  It's not a long ride, just a mile or so.  John was wise enough to let me release the pressure inside.  

When we returned, he asked if I'd make us a Coke and sit with him.  I'd normally tell him all the things I needed to be doing and then that I would sit with him.  Today I just said "okay" and took the break. 

Thank you for letting me share the things I did in the post "Things That Go Bump In the Night" with you all.  What I wanted to say and didn't ever get around to saying was what the aftermath of the accident was:  a couple of weeks in the hospital, a couple of months stay at a physical rehab hospital and then moving back in with my parents in their toxic household for three months following that.  The lack of control I felt over my life during that time period was horrible.  I was so shell shocked by it all that it took YEARS for me to unravel it all and understand how really horrible it had been.

All that to say, I've been thinking a LOT about Steven and how he might feel in his situation.  Which it happens has begun to hit him. 

I sat down after lunch today and finished shelling out those pecans I'd determined I'd get to work on last week.  I do this in the kitchen sitting area, as it tends to be a messy job.  John came to sit with me, and we chatted and listened to the 1960's music videos he'd put on.  When I was very nearly done, he said he was off to play guitar.

I finished up then did a delayed Bible study.  Then I settled to read a bit in my current book (Emilie Loring ... I can't remember the name and don't have it nearby but it's a new book to me).  Katie called about then, and I had to take the phone to the back porch to hear her.  (Later note: Across the Years is the title of the Loring book I'm reading.)

Kate had gotten a call from the hospital about Steven being very upset today and felt she needed to go visit with him, talk with the nurses, etc.  I sighed.  She heard me sigh and apologized.  I explained to her that it had nothing to do with being upset about taking care of Caleb it was just the sudden switching of gears that made me sigh. Of course, she can't possibly know that in my head I was replanning our evening meal which Caleb can't eat and was grasping at what I needed to pack to meet him at nursery, etc.   I told her I'd actually been wondering when it would hit Steven that his whole world had spun out of control.

Caleb was very chill today when I picked him up.  He happily ate his snack, which was John's idea.  I had a little flip-top cup with dry cereal, raisins and dried mixed berries in it.  We took him home and had dinner at his house.  He ate well.  He watched TV.  

Today Katie's adrenaline came to an end.  I'd let Caleb sit up until he could barely hold his eyes open waiting on her.  John had gone home, then come back to pick me up.  I texted to ask if Katie had come home yet. She had.  She was sitting in the car with him.   I suspected she just might need Daddy time and urged Caleb to go on to bed, which he did, though he was talking to himself when Katie came in.  I could see at a glance that indeed she'd had a bit of Dad time and she came right to me for a hug and wept and wept.

Bless her soul, that girl has been on point from Thursday of last week right through this afternoon, but she'd reached her personal end of this particular stretch and needed to know that everyone is okay with what we're doing.  No one feels she is not doing her part.  Everyone knows that she's having a difficult time, the most difficult of all except for Steven. I'd wondered when it was going to break for her. 

She'll be strong all over again tomorrow.  But for tonight she had to let go of the week she's been through. 

Friday: Before I go through today's litany, I want to say to any of my readers who live in the areas where Queen Elizabeth reigned.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  Truly she was an iconic woman who embodied honor and faithfulness of service.  

I had a hard time shutting my mind down last night.  I'm sure part of it was that I'd set an alarm clock this morning because it was Grandparent's Day at the schools, and I'd been asked to attend both the boys' schools.  Josh's was set at 9am.   I told Bess not to tell either boy I planned to attend because I have no way of knowing how each day will unfold. 

When I arrived at Josh's school, I stood quietly to one side and watched him as he played about on a computer.  He had on headphones and was pretty much lost in his world.  Then he looked up, focused upon me and his face lit up.  He took me to his seat and asked me to play a game with him.  We had a great time, giving each other high fives for wins and laughing at our feats.  I didn't stay over half an hour.  At one point, a little girl from the next table came to the table and spoke to Josh.  He was casual about her, didn't introduce her, simply said we were playing a game and more or less made it clear that he was busy.  Typical boy sort of thing.  I took my cue from him and while I did smile at her, I didn't introduce myself, ask her any questions, etc.  I just felt it would be wrong to do given his casualness about her coming over.

As I was leaving, he asked if I'd seen Isaac. I explained that Isaac's was visiting time was this afternoon, but I hoped to go there as well.  That was my visit with Josh.

I came home and set breads to rising.  I wanted to make Cinnamon Rolls as well as bread, had bananas to use up so made muffins and puttered about getting housework done.  I had just enough time when that was all done to heat up leftovers for our lunch and then head out to Isaac's school.

Isaac too was unaware that I was coming.  I stood quietly by his chair and said nothing as he entertained a little boy whose brother is in his class.  Eventually everyone giggled and looked at me and Isaac looked up. His smile was sweet as could be.  He showed me his library book, which we read together and discussed the story the illustrations told.  Then he showed me how he could write his name, how he draws his family.  Finally, he took my hand and walked me around the room introducing me to each of his classmates and then his teacher.  He did so quite formally.  "Miss P---- this is my grandmother.  Gramma this is Miss P----" and again to the class assistant in the same manner.

Isaac was amused when one of his classmates' grandmas turned to look at us.  "Hey!  You look like MY gramma!"  We had many similarities.  We both have a pixie haircut, we both wear glasses, we both were wearing jeans and were near the same height and size.  We smiled at each other.  "This is my Gramma," he told her.  The woman smiled and said, "This is my grandson."  Then she told me that she was a FULL TIME Gramma and a tired one at that.  I nodded sympathetically.  I can only imagine how weary she is.  I'll tell you the truth, you've no idea until you are at one of these days how many grandparents are raising grandchildren on their own, at least in my rural area.  I don't know all the whys of their situations, but I do know that there are many many women and men who are doing far more than the litle asked of us.

He was unhappy when I said I couldn't take him home.  His teacher had said that 'sometimes the grandparents take kids home early'...I didn't have a booster seat only Caleb's car seat.  I'm afraid the teacher set up the hopes of many children.  Anyway, I teased him into good humor once more, apologized for not being prepared to carry him home and left.

I have been sitting here finishing off this post, but I still need to clear up the kitchen, unload the dishwasher and sweep that floor then I am done for today.   Katie is struggling with the same virus we've all had (across the field as well), working away as hard as she can to finish her short work week strong, but is not going to hospital tonight.  Steven's mother will be down this evening to visit with him for the weekend.

We've had a preview autumn day of slow misty rain, cool air and the dry rustling of leaves that signals an end to summer.   It's a little bit cool in the house and the AC isn't on...Summer's ending and saying farewell.   And we say farewell to the longest week.  

Thank you all for praying.  Improvement has been made but the immediate future care is already being discussed.  Please pray that the right decisions are made for all concerned.  Pray for Katie's strength and presence of mind as she travels this next portion of this journey. 

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