Diary of a Homemaker's Week: Waiting

Saturday:  I swear that since the first of November we have been in the most frustrating holding pattern of all time.  Well, no, not of all time, but it's a continuation of something I've noted in our lives in the past.  The waiting room is a long session where one season is neither here nor there and the other is nowhere to be seen.  

This pattern started about the end of October.  We were waiting for Katie to move and then getting the house up on the market.  We've waited and waited for various things related to the house, waited to know who was coming for Thanksgiving, waited to do Christmas shopping, waited to know when we might gather as a family.  Today we are waiting to see if the promised repair man is going to show, and if we get to attend the Christmas program at church for which we have tickets.  As it's now 11:30am, its looking like we're going to just be hanging in mid-air.   We're also waiting to see if family returns tonight or if it will be sometime tomorrow.  We don't know a thing!  And it is soooo frustrating.

I'm waiting to finish decorating because it would just be an additional frustration to set it up now.  I have to wait.  I want a haircut, but I must wait.  It's never ending.  Laughable and not funny.  

Not a thing to be done about it except to wait.  Hurry up and wait.  Tap my foot impatiently and wait.  Drum my fingers on the table and wait.  Sigh and wait.  And on and on.

later:  The man finally came at around 12:30.   The element was burnt almost in two pieces.  It turns out this man is a general contractor and likes to work locally.  Gracious!  Do you know how many of our so-called "local" builders, general contractors, etc. work anywhere and everywhere except within the county?  That's why we ended up calling so many people from out of town, because all the locals were working elsewhere.  Anyway, he was a very nice man, did his work efficiently and was pleasant as could be.  We talked with him about doing some other work and we will be calling him after the first of the year to see about getting some of that work done as his schedule allows.

When he left, John and I looked at the phone and looked at each other.  'If we leave right NOW," he said, "do you think we can make it to the program?"  It was 2:10.   I said, "I think we can just make it."  We rushed to change and hurried out the door.  We made it to church by 2:55, with five minutes to spare before the program began.

It was so awesome, so good!  I think there must have been right at 100 performers, musicians and dancers.  We saw the Grinch, Scrooge, bits and pieces of holiday films, heard lots of familiar carols and some new ones.  For 1.5 hours we had a smile or tears all throughout the program.

Funniest moment was one little boy in the children's choir who was fighting snowflakes with his battery-operated candle.  No, he wasn't meant to be fighting snowflakes.  He just fought them anyway, lol.  John leaned over and whispered, "And there is future Caleb..." which made me laugh, because I could indeed picture him doing the same.

Meals:  Bagel (John) Toast (me) followed by the very last bit of Chicken Teriyaki and Rice for me and two eggs for John.  We were hungry!

I had leftover pizza and wings from Friday night supper.  John never did eat.

Steak, Mushrooms and Onions, Roasted Green Beans, Baked Potatoes.  I was surprised to come across two New York Strip steaks in the freezer, nice sized ones that we could cut and serve more than two folks with.  I can surely tell it's getting to be time for a grocery shop. Not only is there plenty of space in the freezer, and the fridge looking bare, but I am also scratching about to make side dishes for meals.

Loveliness:  Lots of cards from some of the readers who have been with me here for a long while now.  Thank you so much!  I can't tell you the pure joy I feel when I open my mailbox and find a lovely card from one or two of you.  Thank you so much for thinking of me and taking the time to send out cheery mail.

Sunday:  John felt this morning that the hot water wasn't really hot as it should be and placed a call to the man who came to repair the thing yesterday.  He was a bit of a glum chum on the way to church.  So, I did a blessing countdown.  To be honest, this was something I'd been doing mentally to shake myself out of the groans and moans that I wanted to voice and so I just took up doing it out loud and ticked blessings off on my fingers.   When I was all done, John said "Now don't you feel better?", but the joke was on him.  I'd just kept quiet about my own low state of mind!

We had a very good sermon at church, which is perfectly normal.  On our way home, John decided to stop at Quik Trip which opened this summer.  It's been packed and traffic is usually crazy there.  On a drizzly Sunday morning apparently meant a slow business morning.  It was fun to walk into a new to us store, even if it is a gas station and see all the things there were to see.

John picked up another Starbucks Frappuccino for me.  Ever since we realized they have no carrageenan in them it's been his go to drink for me.  I find I quite like them over ice.  On my own, I wouldn't buy them, but he likes treating me and I gladly accept. 

The afternoon didn't go as planned exactly.  I was interrupted in a period of time that was meant to be quiet time for writing a post that I've been trying to hammer out for a week.  I've finally ended it, rather abruptly and sent it out.  Not a happy post.  

John has told me that I might as well skip Christmas shopping altogether and just give cash.  He's right.  At this point, nothing would be likely to arrive on time at this point and I certainly haven't the time or energy to devote to shopping a variety of stores looking for gifts.  I've no idea of what I might get anyone anyway.  I'm done worrying over it.  I'm not happy about plan B but it better than a failed plan A.

Meals: Apple Danish, Turkey Bacon.

Ham Sandwiches, Tomato and Veggie Soup. I used a can of tomato soup mixed with a tomato-based vegetable mix from dinner last week.  It tasted pretty good to me.  John wasn't pleased.  

Roast Chicken, Wild Rice, Peas, Mandarin and Broccoli Slaw.  This was a disappointing meal in so many ways.  The chicken wasn't either of my usual brands and was tough.  The peas weren't our usual brand either and were starchy and tasteless.  The broccoli slaw was an attempt to use up broccoli stems and didn't taste bad, but the mandarins were plan b.  Plan A was dried cranberries which I didn't have.  This idea needs developing. 

Monday:  Why oh why don't I plan out breakfasts and lunches especially on these nearly to the end of a month days?  Well, no planning necessary this morning.  I dragged myself from bed and had coffee and John who'd made breakfast already for a small boy made a breakfast for us to eat together.  I was up early but everyone else was up much earlier than I. 

I had washed a load of dishes last night and let them dry in the dishwasher.  I find it best to just open the dishwasher as soon as the machine is done, pull out the bottom and top rack slightly and let them sit for a bit.  The steam is released, and the inside of the machine and the dishes dry within just seconds.  And yes, this is after the 'heat dry' cycle is done.  I don't know why people complain that the dishwasher is still wet when they go to empty it if they never bother to do that one simple step.  Steam is moist.  If it stays in the machine it's going to wet everything, just like fog does.  Open the door and let the steam out and the dishes and machine dry in minutes.  

I was trying to unload the dishwasher this morning and had a helper.  Remarkably good at putting things on the right counter and it was a help.  Seemed to boost the little ego.  I've noted that when they want to help at this age, it's best not to shoo them away but to put them to work doing simple things.  They're perfectly capable and more than willing.

It was when it came time for lunch that I was stumped.  What to do, what to do?  I had noted we were rapidly coming to the end of the loaf of bread I'd made on Friday and decided to make more.  I had to go to the pantry in the back to get more flour.   While there I decided to change up the supper menu ever so slightly and make a different meal with the leftover chicken.  I was gathering ingredients for that when I noted the cans of refried beans sitting on the shelf.  I'd just been digging in the fridge to determine what leftovers we had, set some aside for work lunches and others to plan to use.  Tortillas were included in the 'others' section of the fridge.  There was one idea.  Only four more to go for this week and then we begin it all again...Yay.

I started bread dough in the bread machine and mixed-up bagel dough with the KitchenAid mixer.  Everything went along just fine this morning.  The bagel dough was ready, and the water had just enough time to boil.   Bagels baked while bread dough started to rise in the pan.  Bread was ready to go in shortly after bagels baked.  All done in a couple of hours' time.

Our afternoon ride today was lovely.  We had a long heart to heart.  In all the cow pastures I spied lots of new baby calves, most watched over by a mama cow as they lay curled in a ball sleeping.  

Meals:  Eggs, Bacon, Toast (made by John)

Refried Bean Quesadillas with Salsa, Apples

Cheeseburgers, Baked Corn, Tortilla Chips

Tuesday:  Yesterday I debated off and, on all day, about going with John to the chiropractor today.  On the one hand, if I were simply sitting in the parking lot waiting, it was going to be a misery for myself and a small one.  I had already perused the flyer for the discount grocery in the town where I shop about once a month and the sales looked quite good.  Prices on meat were comparable with other larger towns, produce as well but some of the sales on other items were quite good.  I felt it was worthwhile to make this week the week to shop.   I waffled back and forth.  

On the one hand, it is the day before paychecks arrive.  On the other hand, how convenient to go on and do it while we were right in town.  I knew from experience that shopping with small one in tow was fairly painless.  Mostly keeping little hands from snatching up things from cart or nearby shelves but it was doable.

So, when I got up this morning, I had determined firmly that it would be wise to go on and do it.  Not at all sorry I made that choice.  

While sales priced items were good buys some of the store brand items were lower than Aldi prices.  I forget how nice the meat department is in this store and that while prices are about the same as any of the larger towns nearby, this store offers the added benefit of buying twin packs of things like roasts and family packs of steaks for slightly less per pound than the single item prices.

I also made a point to visit the reduced-price produce stand.  I picked up two packages of grapes for 75c each, a 4pack of tomatoes (2 HUGE and 2 average) for $1.  Visions of tomato sandwiches in December danced in my head.  Probably slicing one of those tomatoes as a side for supper tonight.  I think I picked up something else too that was priced out at 75c but can't remember what just now.

While I won't share more prices, I will say this one last thing.  I could find no romaine, nor romaine hearts at all.  Iceberg lettuce was $4.99 a head.  Remember that at the discount store prices are that price plus 10%.

Happiest to find the fruitcakes this year.  The clerk checking me out gasped when she saw them.  "I didn't even know we had these!  They make me think of my grandmother."  "Me, too.  Every year it wasn't Christmas if she didn't have one of these in the house."  "My grandmother's gone, but I think I'll get one."  "So is mine.  But I'll think about her when I have a slice with coffee in the afternoon."

And as expected interests were kept going with waving to strangers and saying 'Hi', reaching for things just out of reach.  Thank goodness I had my list with me so I could track what I was shopping for.  I did spend a pretty penny today, about equal to an Aldi monthly shop and no I didn't get all of the things on my list or even all the things I necessarily need, but I'm not complaining.  We can easily make it another week or two if need be before I shop again.

It's cold today and meant to get colder this week.  I'm glad I put soup on the menu.  I think it's going to hit the spot.  Tonight, I'm making the second of John's requested meals.  

Peanut Butter Bagel for one.  Grits, Fr. Spam, Toast for the others.

Burger, Fries, Christmas Cake

Smoked Sausage, Cabbage, Potatoes, Sliced tomatoes.

Wednesday:  Early mornings are not really my thing.  Many early mornings all run together tend to see me scurrying off to bed around 9pm.  I'm sitting here now yawning widely.

This day flew.  I mean on jet propelled wings and time warp speeds the day went by.   John and I left the house this morning to do errands.  Not half of what I wanted to do but we were gone the maximum of time I'd said I'd be gone, and we needed to get back home.  John said repeatedly how shocked it was that time had gone by so quickly.   

We were able to run an errand for Bess that was on the way to the salon where we get our hair cut.  And because a grocery is right next door, we were able to grab milk before heading home.  We found everything at home quiet and peaceful.  And that was the way the bulk of the afternoon and evening went.

It's been a gray dreary day with misty rain.  Our ride this afternoon was fun though because everyone had their Christmas decorations lit and the lights really showed well in the low light.   It was a bonus for us to see them all shining bright. "Cwistmas" was heard often from the backseat.

Meals:  Pancakes and Sausage

Deli Sandwiches

15 Bean Soup, Cornbread.  This really hit the spot today with it being so cold and damp.  It was delicious!

Thursday:  The sun is shining.  It's a most welcome sight, truly.  But I am not feeling sunny at all.  It's really hard to pinpoint just when it went wrong for me today.  I was up early, as one must be these days.  I had a small one on my lap for at least a half hour and so I sat and tried to drink coffee...but then breakfast was wanted by the man of the house and though he is capable of preparing it and was in fact attempting to do just that, I knew I had some leftovers in the fridge I wanted to use towards this morning meal, so I got up to do that.

While we were eating, he reminded me that we've a small group meeting Friday night and I realized that yet again, we'll be gone from home come time for Shabat.  I think we've had two Shabats in the past three months, and I so looked forward to that moment each Friday evening.  Then John mentioned that Saturday there is an outreach program.  My mind skittered over the possibility that I might have one quiet morning alone at home.  But no, he kept talking and said, "And then we can go do the grocery shopping."  I was at war within myself but thought, "He's right.  We'll be right in town, and we could do it then and save that extra trip over."  He mentioned how nice it would be to spend time doing something, just us two.  

I sat a moment and said "Well we could do that.  I could sit in the car while you work with the group and then we could go on to the store."  "Oh, it will be too hot to sit in the car in the full sun!"  I laughed a little and said, "Not this time of year!"  "You could sit under one of the tents.  Perhaps you could talk with or pray for people."   I sat for a long moment thinking of that bit of precious alone time, that bit of being all to myself, not thinking of any one's needs time and watched it slide right through my fingers and shatter on the pavement.  I said very quietly, "Yes, of course..." 

I am so tired.  And the last thing I want to do right now is find someone else who needs a piece of me or time however small.   Yet more is always being asked.  One more thing, one more dollar, one more bit of heart, one more thought, one more surrendering of self.  I'm sure it's necessary.  I'm sure it's making me a better person.  But there are times, there are, when I don't want to be better.  I just want to stop.

I ask myself, "Did Mary want to be the carrier of the divine?  Did she feel equal to the task of raising the man who was Lord and Saviour?  Did Jesus not weep in the garden, sweating his very life blood while he begged for the cup to pass?  And in the end, didn't he come into full surrender and say, "Not my will, but thine..."?"  

I know the human answers to this.  I've experienced them all.  I also know the heavenly answer: Surrender.

While I was surrendering spiritually, I cleaned and straightened and tidied and fed and wiped and soothed and spanked and prayed all morning long.  And now I am alone.  It's not quiet.  There's snoring from one room and a too loud Kindle from the other.  I'm sure any moment that loud refrigerator will start roaring at us all over again, but I am alone.  

Meals:  Potato Cakes.  I used leftover mashed potatoes, flour, and egg and chopped Spam to make these.  To the portion for myself and John I added in some shredded Gouda (all the cheese we have in the house).  These were quite good, light and crispy and cheesy.

Spaghetti, Cornbread.  I found the spaghetti sauce in the freezer as I went through the poultry basic and arranged things suitably so the freezer would shut properly.  I also found cooked, frozen spaghetti.  Tossed everything frozen into one pot and heated.  Cornbread left from last night.

Baked Chicken and Dumplings, Green Beans, Carrot and Raisin Salad, Cranberry sauce.  I couldn't find the cream of chicken soup, so subbed in mushroom soup instead.  Grated extra carrots while making the salad and mixed up a batch of carrot raisin and walnut muffins for tomorrow's breakfast.  I prepped all this food while the spaghetti was heating and then baked the muffins while John and I ate lunch, followed by the Chicken and Dumplings mixture.  It's one of those meals that is better the second day, though it's perfectly delicious the first day so I'm thinking it will rest fairly well in the oven until suppertime. 

Friday:  I got a phone call this morning.  "Is this Gramma's Country Store?"  It's Bess of course, and this is her fun way of 'coming to borrow a cup of sugar', or a bit of corn syrup or as it happened this morning, some baking soda and cream of tartar. "Oh yes, we have all of that in stock.  What time will you come pick it up?  Or do you require delivery today?"

I love playing this game with her and I'm happy to lend her things, though she is seldom in need of the pantry items I have on hand.  

Now just a bit of information.  I'm sitting here looking at a stink bug on the wall. He's up too high to reach at present but when he's nearer our level, I'll pick him up and carry him outdoors.  I hate that they come in the house, but I decided to look them up just in case any of you are as pestered with them as we are.  Here's what I found out.

They are called 'shield bugs' as well as stink bugs.  The 'stink bug' name derives from a defense mechanism in which they emit an unpleasant odor if they feel threatened.  The aroma is not an actual stink, but it's not a nice smell either.  It's a bit acrid, I want to say, and isn't long-lasting but the aroma will linger on your skin.  We are so in the habit these days of scooping them into our hands and carrying them to the door.  They are winged bugs and do fly.

There is nothing that kills them except wasps and praying mantis both of which we happen to have in plenty here on our place.

But I wondered, as I sat looking at this intruder, just exactly why do we have stink bugs.  Turns out they are wonderful at pest control themselves and eat beetles and the variety of stink bugs and other pests that kill plants as well as ants, certain spiders and more.  

So unpleasant aromas aside, they are good to have around.  I just wish they didn't want to winter indoors.

Anyway, there you are. More than you wanted to know about stink bugs.    We'll end our week here.  How did your week go?