Hello loves. Come on in and have some tea. I have lemonade which I can garnish with a bit of mint if you'd like. I also have coffee that we can serve over ice. The main point of drinks just now is that they must be cold. And then I suggest we take our glasses, settle into a comfortable chair and have a nice long talk. I have been saving up conversation because there are difficult days behind me. I'm a bit apprehensive facing August. What shall August bring us? Besides the usual deep heat...
In June, Katie was no longer employed. This was completely unexpected. Admittedly we were all a bit cavalier because after all doesn't just everyone have a 'Help Wanted' sign in the window? Indeed, they might, but the caveat is that they don't want just any help. If you're overqualified, they won't even consider you. If you're underqualified, they won't consider you. You must stick right in the area of work where you are qualified and then go through a multiple interview process.
Job hunting is done differently than it was in my days of employment. And I must tell you...I've never had to hunt for a job. My jobs all found me, every single one of them. So even if I was familiar with the ways of gainful employment in my youth, I'd know nothing about the complicated series of hoops one must go through now in order to find employment. 70 applications later, 20 odd interviews later...Well, she did find a job but unfortunately that job doesn't even begin the training process until mid-August. And mid-June to mid-August means that two months' worth of bills come due and there's nothing to pay them with.
It's a temporary job, lasting only a few months. In the meantime, Katie continued to apply for every job opening that came along hoping she'd find something else that would start right away and would prove permanent. More applications, more interviews and more waiting. Other options were explored, and I kid you not they were shut down or delayed to the point of making one want to pull hair and scream. Katie has made sacrifices and sold anything she can that would bring in some funds to help pay her bills.
In the meantime, John and I started July trying to figure out where a 'lost' kitchen cabinet went and then it was found in the place where it was supposed to be, but I'd been bumped out of line for the renovation work. I'd already cleared the kitchen out and have been struggling along with a camp kitchen.
The contractor isn't returning calls, responding to texts or messages. I have more money in cabinets and counters than I care to admit to, locked in the contractor's warehouse and no clue at all when or if I'll ever see them or get the work done. I've been polite, I've been frustrated, I've gotten snarky and now I'm just worried.
The heat ramped up and made going outdoors difficult to say the least. This has meant that Caleb, who is entirely a creature suited to routine has spent the past month regressing on multiple levels because we haven't found a substitute routine that suits him.
I also began keeping the three children from across the field one day a week. The first two weeks were rough. The last two went well enough. We've two more and then the boys will be back in school and then we'll just have Millie once a week.
Money went out hand over fist in an attempt to keep up with the renovation work items that were required, bills that came due, semi-annual bills that came due right smack in the middle of it all, and the usual unexpected things that no one planned for, but which happen, nonetheless. We squeaked through July... We did at least manage to cut back a little on groceries mostly thanks to all those bags of food that Sam brought in most weeks. In an attempt to cut back on other spending, John and I gave up our Sanity Saver Saturdays and that has proven to be a mistake, but what does one do about it?
Add to that four people with tension, stress and struggles. Tempers flared all around...It wasn't a pleasant nor a pretty month though I worked hard to find the blessings in it.
Now I'm perfectly well aware that none of these things are horrific or even that terrible. The truth is they are/were just life events that hit us all at once as those things will do and we failed, as usual, to adjust to our new circumstances with any sort of ease or grace. I certainly can't find fault in a three-year-old child who finds it hard to adjust to his change of schedule, can I, when the adults falter and stumble about?
The thing is, I don't know where we go from here. August won't be any better weather-wise. The job is a work from home thing which means that we must work around someone working here, already lagging internet services due to the daily demand on the router, a notice of a price increase on internet overall, no space to set up an office and the need to work around whatever schedule that job will entail.
So yes, I'm apprehensive about what August will bring.
I could use a small vacation...
If my Homesick post sounded a bit full of longing that's why. We were facing all these things and I was already weary of what feels like an endless season of bad to equally as bad scenarios, things that have been ongoing now for what feels like forever, two or three years at the least. There are times I simply feel like all I want to do is to quit. Or run away. Either will do.
I think I've shared before that I have my own little mental run-away spot. It's a tiny house, tucked in between hills, just three rooms. There's a shade tree, lots of flowers in season and a tub to soak in outdoors and indoors is always cool and comfortable, with a sunny roomy eat-in kitchen, a living room with a fireplace or a woodstove for those winter nights when I've run away (wink) and comfy chairs and all my favorite books, a cozy bedroom with an old iron bed and lovely old quilts so I can cuddle under one and sleep without waking for hours upon hours. Of course, you know I'd never have to worry about the electric bill, whether toilet paper is about to run low, if the kitchen needs to be restocked or the beds made, and house cleaned. Those things just happen magically. That's the place I retreat to when I've had quite enough of all the things and the people that populate my life and snatch at me with demands.
I do realize of course that I would eventually miss people and working towards goals of some sort but golly gee, a retreat such as this would be just lovely for at least a week... or perhaps three...
Yes, I could use a vacation. Yet one doesn't seem to be any nearer than it's been for the past two years now.
So, here's what I'm going to do. I won't quit. I won't run away. I'm going to take some time off. I'm going on vacation right here at home.
Vacation for me never means doing nothing but it definitely means doing a lot less. A relaxed attitude about life in general. You'll see that I'll set goals for August, but they will be a little different. Less ambitious.
There will be only one weekly blog post for the month of August. Everything all thrown in one post, diary style. That's a break of sorts.
I'm going to kick the meal planning habit for this month and all we're going to eat will be easy meals, not elaborate ones. John may have his fill of sandwiches for this one month. And eggs and burgers, too. I need to free up the mental space that planning meals takes up. No, I'm not giving up on budgeting for meals, but I'm just not going to worry over balancing this meal and that one so that costs are spread out. Let's face it, we practically live off chicken and ground beef anyway. And I don't want to make complicated meals, just simple ones and simple ones are rarely costly unless you're dining on steamed shrimp and strawberries out of season.
I'm going to skip over projects and deep cleaning and just focus on my daily routine which will keep the house looking well enough. And besides there are two others who might do a thing or two. There will be just work enough each day to let me feel I've done something, but there's no need whatsoever of pushing myself to do this and that and touch on fourteen other tasks, as well.
I'm going to do vacation-y sorts of things. I'm going to read, and I'm going to take Caleb out and turn on the sprinkler and put my chair where I can get sprinkled, instead of sitting just out of reach of it. I'm going to suggest we go for a ride more often and encourage John to drop everything and go out with me just because I want to get away. I'm going to go get breakfast at least once a week because I am so darned tired of having to think about three meals a day and I'm going to buy a huge thing of a couple of dozen Croissants and have one every day that we aren't going out, just as I do on a real vacation. I'm going to stock up on my favorite yogurt flavors to have with my Croissant and pop open a jar of Marmalade and have TWO cups of coffee each morning instead of barely finishing one.
I'm going to sleep in and go to bed early if I want to except on Thursday mornings when I'll have all the children over but even then, I'm going to focus on having fun with them.
And that's how I plan to destress, rest, and recover from what has been a fairly rough season of life.
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20 comments:
You have pretty much described our weeks at the lake house. After all the sorrow and stress of Mom's death I am so glad we had already planned to go next Sunday for two weeks. My pain is way up because of it all and hopefully we can both just get ourselves together again so we can go on.
Hello, even though you hadn’t said, I had wondered from previous posts about Katie’s job and I’m so sorry.
You do sound truly exhausted.
Life is not as chaotic here but still stressful. Jeff is waiting to hear about a skin cancer surgery and does have some much needed back shots already scheduled. I’ve got a cardiac condition and have made many changes because of it and Ducky died last week. We were expecting that, he just had not himself all summer.
Big big hug to you!
Eat sandwiches and do have that second cup of coffee.
I have a place that I retreat to, also, in my imagination. Such places are stress busters, for sure.
You have an overflowing plate, Terri, and simplifying certainly seems to help, in such times, for me. I confess, though, it is hard to let go of an "on top of it," mindset.
Job applications and employers are absurd these days. What happened to advertising for a job position and accepting personal applications. What they do now isn't working. My 20 year old grandson is going through the same situation. Hearing about the key words for the algorithm to choose a persons application and pass it on borders on insane to me. It is unfair to good applicants that don't know the key words.
I pray that you have a blessed August.
WOW, Terri, that is a LIST! The ‘quit/run away’ impulse reminds me of my younger years (with six children baby to teens; husband gone 12 hours/day as a police officer; home schooling; dealing with a demanding m-i-l; yada yada) when my mantra seemed to be “Beam me up, Lord!” Now, in my older years, I regret not having used the energy it took to say that phase to instead have breathed prayers for grace and stamina. Regardless, He got me through!
I applaud your plan for August and will pray that you are able to stick to it. In characteristic Terri fashion, since you can’t change the challenges, you’ve planned to better control your environment…BRAVO!
Thank you for sharing the struggles which, I’m sure, have been MAGNIFIED by your weather. May you lay down some GREAT memories in the coming weeks that surpass your expectations. Take that rest….you are the hub of your family’s wheel and they NEED YOU to be grounded in peace and tranquility!
P.S. Is there a way, other than Paypal, to help support your blog ….perhaps a P.O. Box (even a friend’s)? Thanks.
Rhonda, I am so sorry about all of it...Your condition, Dear Ducky, Jeff's health concerns. None of them easy things either.
I started with the second coffee thing this morning. How lovely it was!
Glenda, glad to know I'm not the only one with that imaginary second home to retreat to, lol.
I'm trying very hard to separate myself from the things I have NO control over and crises that I didn't create...But my lifelong response has been to try to fix those things that aren't as they ought to be.
Conni, Yes, I've turned and prayed time and time again, asking for the grace to carry on, especially when I've gotten forgetful and slip hard on a slope and must start over again.
My email address is teaccheney@gmail.com. If you contact me there I will be happy to give you my address. And thank you for thinking of me.
What a load you are carrying! I’ve heard similar stories about job hunts. I wish everyone who complains about those struggling and responds with a cavalier “Just get a job!” would try to understand it’s not that easy. I hope something turns up for Katie and that you hear from the contractor soon.
This is just a thought, but you might have John do all the contacting of the contractor. I have noticed that men are more interested in pleasing other men than they are women. At this point I think I might drive to the guy's office and confront him there.
Secondly, I understand your frustration with Katie's situation. Last December my son needed a place to land "for a few days." It's now almost August. He's in construction and has been hired five times to work with different contractors who swore they had work. They did, for a week or two. When their current pressing job was finished, no more assignments. It's immoral to treat an adult this way. He's now working for his fifth boss, but even when he saves up enough to go rent a place, we have no idea how long the job will last. And it will cost thousands to get a new apartment in So. Cal. So frustrating.
Deanna, I confess that until Katie's recent bout with unemployment, I too thought just anyone could go 'get a job' and it would be as easy as filling out an application. No clue at all that often enough those advertising as 'hiring' really didn't want just anyone to come in. I do understand the vetting and the need for qualifications but it never occurred to me that those desperate to work would have to deal with being OVER qualified simply because they'd held a job in some other field.
Jane, thank you for your encouragement.
Anne, John pushed the contractor off onto me because he said it was amping up HIS anxiety...sigh. He also knows I will bulldog through, but how do you deal with someone that won't even respond and whom you can't just go chase down?
Rents have gotten so high here that Kate would need to make a great deal more than her seemingly ample salary to get an apartment, too. We sort of hoped she'd be able to get her credit straightened out and purchase a mobile home to go on land here, but unemployment plays heck with trying to get credit straight and it's the immediate need for bills not past due ones that must be met in order to avoid still more bad credit. It all feels like a vicious cycle.
And in the meantime, prices keep climbing...
I wish I had something to say that would ease your mental/emotional burdens but I do not except to say I admire how you persevere in spite of the pot holes that appear in front of you.
Mable, Thank you. I'm just incredibly stubborn. And tired of them all but that is life. I always say it could be worse, so much worse. But as my old psychology teacher once said, "There are times I look up and remind God that it appears my wagon is full..." Yes indeed, lol.
Yes, indeed, Terri … you need a break! I hope August treats you kindly. I often think of Bible verses. My personal favorite is “run the race with perseverance.” Perhaps, you could walk! I think that would be fine. And, then, there’s he will lift you up on eagle’s wings. The idea of soaring, flying always seems so peaceful. (((((Hugs)))))
I wish you a wonderful month of "vacation" in August, and am sending my best for Katie in her job-hunting.
Good luck with the contractor. Even if he put your job at the back of his line-up, he should have the courtesy and professionalism to let you know that.
I knew that you were handling a heavy load. I hope that now that you have laid it all out for us that it helps to ease some of the burden. I find that sometimes just getting it off of your chest, so to speak, helps.
I can't imagine looking for employment in todays market. Twenty years ago hubby started a new job. He applied, interviewed, and didn't hear a thing. Four months later he was called back for another interview and that was that. Crazy how slow things seem to move at some companies.
I could be wrong, but did you mention that Granny's house is on the property? Is that something that could be fixed up for Katie? I hate to see old homes rot away. My great grandparents had a home across the field from my grandparents. When my great aunt was no longer able to live there the house was left as is and eventually collapses. No one ever seemed to know why it wasn't cleaned out and used by another family member. Even as a young child, I hated seeing the slow death of that house.
Enjoy your vacation!
Casey, one advantage of living where I do is being able to watch the hawks glide about on the air currents...and yes, it does look so peaceful! I laughed over the 'perhaps you could walk,' after quoting that verse, lol God surely understands that we are not all able to run, but I suspect if he's in it, we can do all things through Christ, including going off at a run.
Tammy, I thought the same about the contractor's professionalism. I fully expect I did get pushed back on his schedule, but with no contact it leaves me up in the air about when I might possibly expect him so I can't schedule my life around it! That's what's frustrating me.
Wendi, Granny's house is on the property that Sam owns. The house had a lot of termite damage that went untreated and like your grandparents home has never been cleaned out. I can tell you why. It became a huge family argument! Granny had little of value but I'd have loved to have had some of her books and one of her cast iron skillets, nothing that would have caused anyone anxiety that I was getting more than my share, but I was never allowed to enter the house nor was I allowed to ask for anything from those who were allowed to go in freely. So there it all sits. At this point I am sure it's a haven for snakes and mice and rats and heaven knows what all else.
Sam has offered to sell Katie enough land to put a home on and she would be near but again, the whole unemployment/credit thing...rolling eyes.
And yes, I think you're right, getting it out in the open and off my chest has helped. It's also true that I know full well that many of you are wise women and know good and well when I'm under a strain and trying to gloss things over. You are all lovely people and dears.
Hi Terri, blessings on you and your family. I pray your time of rest is not only refreshing but it is a time to draw closer to our Lord and allow Him to heal, and reveal to you. I have to vlog suggestions for you that bring such peace and beauty and they are ones I will turn on because they help me to focus back on Jesus and be thankful. One is Jeri Landers at Hopalong Hollow this is a beautiful channel. The other is Homestead Tessie. She is so sweet and her story is so encouraging and she may even help with frugal things. Both women are Christian and I love visiting with them. I am praying for you and the family. Thank you for all you share and the beauty you have shine through in your writing. Blessings again, Jennifer from Ohio.
Dear Terri,
I am so very sorry for all the trials you are enduring right now. I wish I could beam you up to Vermont for a week of peace and quiet and cool temperatures, tea, books and a long visit. You are strong and brave but as mighty as those attributes are, you need a break. I wish I could do that for you. Carry on but do take some time to take care of yourself before you break down. Dale 🙏🏻💗🤞🏻
Terri, I am praying for true rest and a vacation of the soul/spirit for you in August. I pray for cooperation and blessings being poured into your family and home beyond what you can even fathom.
I can so identify with your talk about looking for a job. Every job I've had, has basically been found for me and yes, trying to find a job in today's society is unfathomably difficult. It makes no sense.
Keeping you in my prayers...
Our experience with anyone we have hired to do work for us show up with usually 24 hours notice or less. There does not seen to be anything that can be done to change it. I know at least one who probably moves names to the bottom of the list every time a customer calls trying to prod him along. And yet he does an impeccable job so we will continue to use him even though it sometimes takes 6 months for him to actually come out.
Now my sister and I have relatives who had not even bothered to speak to my Mom or Dad for years coming out of the woodwork because we suppose they may be able to cash in on the estate. Nope! Not one red cent you moochers! We will not even answer their calls and will block them if we have to.
Hi Terri, praying you have a restful month to recharge! So glad you’ve given yourself permission to enjoy a staycation! I have a son-in-law who has been applying for many jobs over the past year. He had just gotten his master’s degree, so I’m guessing he is “overqualified” for many of the jobs he’s applying for. It is discouraging for sure!
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