Observations and Thrift: Dec. 16-23

Friday: Caleb had a bad afternoon on Thursday.  He fussed and talked back and was contrary as could be.  If I said yes to something he said NO and meant it.  Finally, he said to me "You're not my friend!"   I told him, "I'm sorry to hear that.  I still consider you my friend..."  A few minutes later, after crying, he came over and climbed up on my lap and put his arms around my neck.  He never said he was sorry, but he let me know by his actions that he was.  He lay his head on my chest and stayed on my lap for a good thirty minutes with his arms about my neck.  I knew full well when he started arguing with me that he was not feeling well and was overtired to boot.

Just as I knew earlier last week that a hug from a much bigger child than this little boy was an apology without words.  And that pain and grief and resentments I can't heal had caused words to be said that might not have been said otherwise.  

Saturday:  I've been lamenting the lack of Christmas spirit in our lives this year. I've bought all the presents and came in on budget, but I've found little satisfaction in that fact.  

Today I've fought with Amazon over an order placed this afternoon after 3pm that had the wrong address.  I've done all I could to edit the order, finally ended up cancelling the orders and then placing fresh orders with the correct address.  But the largest of the orders kept giving me an error message.  I finally got a chat started with customer service and was told sorry but not sorry, the wrong order is processing already and can't be cancelled but you can return it and get your money back.  In vain did I point out that the gifts were only ordered at 3-4pm this afternoon (just an hour or two prior to cancellation) and surely they couldn't possibly be processed that quickly, and that they were being shipped directly to the address and couldn't be returned by me and weren't likely to be returned by anyone who presently lives at that location.  I know it's my fault the address was wrong, but I feel rather peeved at having to pay for two different orders and one of those going to who knows who.    

When we went out to Lowe's the other night, I was so hopeful that I'd get to see some lights along the way.  I did see a neighborhood or two that were decorated beautifully...but we weren't going into the neighborhoods.  We stuck to the roadway and there was only one or two houses along the whole 30-mile ride that had lights and decorations.  

John finally pulled up a Christmas movie to watch that evening, but to be honest it was pretty doggone awful.  And wasn't exactly a Christmas film but had a Christmas scene.  Then he put on Scrooged tonight.  I don't much like the movie, but it does have a happy ending and it does take place at Christmas.  

My tree decorations keep falling off the tree...  The nutcrackers do not care to be tree decor.  I get one tucked back into the tree and another falls out.  I've tried sort of strapping them in.  I've tried resting them deeply tucked into the branches.  These last two methods were my alternatives when I realized that the ribbons hot glued to the tops of their heads kept releasing.  I had grand plans for this tree.    It's not grand at all.  Fortunately, the tree is so backlit by sun during the day that you can't see the decorations and at night the lights just pick out a few glitter highlights here and there.  So, there is that.

Today I had so wanted to go to the Christmas program at church.  John was reluctant to go.  He took me out to lunch after his ministry work was done this morning, but we came straight home after eating.  Mind you the meal I was promised first was to be eaten at home and just picked up in the town 30 miles away on our way home, so he did deviate from his original plan.  But the Christmas play...He said he doubted we'd go tomorrow either.  I wanted to cry.

But I didn't.  

When we came home one of the workmen was still here.  He'd put in nearly a full day's work while we were gone, because the guys all want to finish this job prior to Christmas.  When John told him this morning where we were going to minister, he got all choked up.   He started to talk to us after we got back this afternoon.

That's when God stepped in.  We had a long conversation with this man this afternoon.  We all wept and cried and told our stories of where we'd been and how God had brought us out of those places.  

You know what?  I may be disappointed at what a struggle Christmas has been this year, but right now, I know this is the better part of Christmas, the very gift of salvation that cannot be surpassed by any earthly thing.  

Maybe, too, I'll quit moaning about gifts sailing off into the unknown.  Maybe they will be most welcome when they arrive at that old address.  May they bring joy.

Sunday:  Our lunch yesterday netted us two full meals.  Mine stretched even further and served us again today as a bonus to our leftover pizza lunch.  I made the pizza Friday evening, at Caleb's request for our supper.  

We went to church this morning.  Many mentioned how good the program was yesterday.  There were two more showings today and I was still hopeful...John still talked of not going.

I skipped the big grocery shop I'd meant to do this morning after church in the hopes that we'd manage our time at home wisely, getting things done and go...Yes, I can be a bit of a bulldog when I really want something. I mentioned what my hopes were because I don't ever expect John to read my mind.  Heck half the time he doesn't even hear what I am saying.  I certainly won't trust in his mind reading skills! (And I need to learn to let go of my idea that I can read minds any better, but that's off the subject...) I fed us, hurried through all the housework we'd left yesterday and waited hopefully.  Finally, he said, "If you can be ready to go before 2pm, then we'll go over."  Yes!  I was ready and off we went.

The lobby was beautifully decorated.  We were greeted by young men bearing trays of red and green Sugar cookies that they were passing out to everyone who came in.  We admired the decorations and then went into the sanctuary to find seating for the show.  

Wow.  Oh wow, oh wow.  It was so well done! There are so many talented people in our church, both on stage and behind the scenes.  I'm so glad we went this afternoon, and John confessed on the way out of the building that he was awfully glad I'd pushed him to go.

When we came home this evening, I put soup on to heat.  I've got a sort of perpetual soup pot going.  I keep it in the freezer and periodically pull it out and add in a few more leftover bits to it and it's like a whole new soup.  Then those leftovers will go into the freezer until next time I want soup.  It's really good!  Today I added a bit of corn and black beans I'd also frozen, then chopped up a hamburger that I had in the fridge and added that along with leftover butter beans.  I had a good quart and a half of soup when I had added in a little water.  I season it fresh each time, too.  I almost always have about enough for one and a half generous servings left to go back into the freezer.  Which reminds me to go put the leftovers away.

When we skipped the grocery after church, I had John run into the local grocer and gave him a list of just four things to purchase: half and half, dog food, bread and check the marked down meats.  He got a family pack of pork chops and a package of cubed steaks that had been marked down.  

I broke the package of chops down into packets of two, and we have four of those.  The steaks were just two steaks, enough to cook for sandwiches for the two of us, or perhaps to make biscuits and gravy for breakfast. Those 'two' cubed steaks were very large ones as it happened and served us two meals each.

Monday:  House reno work continues.  I've been trying to keep the kitchen worktops clear in the hopes that we will have counters installed, however, today was all about plumbing the bathroom and work continued on putting up the beadboard on walls and around the top of the shower unit.  The shower doors were delivered today, as well.

It was a busy day, all around.  I didn't have Caleb today, as Katie was sick and kept him home with her.  I decided that signaled a very good time to get gift wrapping done.  I have no present for Katie, who has made her request for something specific and that is what she'll get, and I have nothing for one grandchild.  I thought I had something for this child but discovered that I was mistaken in the age group the gift fell into.  He definitely needs something more age appropriate.  I have just ordered that gift which will arrive after Christmas.  Not a problem since I shall not see that child until New Year's Eve weekend.  

I also had a chiropractor appointment today.  I still am requiring some adjustment on my left hip but for the most part, I am having far less pain than I did four months ago.

After the chiro appointment, I headed to the discount grocery which is in the same town.  True confession, I went in specifically for milk.  I came out with a good bit more but had absolutely no quarrel with myself.  I had money in my grocery budget and the purchases I made were best price I've seen to date and/or exactly what I would pay elsewhere when I added in the 10%.  If it was higher than that I skipped it.

I bought a dozen cans of green beans for instance.  I discovered the other day that I had only 2 cans in the pantry.  That will not do!  These were name brand beans.  I picked up several canned items including another can of whole berry cranberry sauce.  John and I discussed what he wanted for his Christmas Day dinner.  He wants BBQ'd ribs, potato salad and the cranberry celebration gelatin salad that I made for Bess at Thanksgiving. I have a rack of ribs in the freezer, but I didn't have the whole berry cranberry sauce.  Oh yes, he also wants Hawaiian rolls.  I'll have to buy those.

I visited the marked down produce.  I got about 3 pounds of Russet potatoes for $1, a package of six tomatoes for $1 and 5 bananas for 40c that weren't even speckled yet.

I walked around and looked and contemplated and put in my buggy things I knew I needed.  The sticker shock came in when I walked down the meat aisle.  This store has been reasonable in the past, but I was flabbergasted at costs of meat today.  I never thought I'd see meats in the double digits as price per pound.  Yes, steak has been of late, and we've not bought that unless it was marked way down.  But spareribs?  And short ribs and ox tail...I shuddered at prices of what used to be offcuts.  I didn't price the soup bones but that was an item I've rarely seen on the store shelves.  They were there in plentiful supply and I suppose we'll be seeing soup bones once more as a routine thing, because people will pick meat off those once they are cooked tender.  Today, I picked up a single pound of lean ground beef and a packet of baby smoked beef sausages.   Even chicken was quite high.  A whole fryer was $1.98 a pound.

So, you'll understand when I tell you I came across the marked down meats section and grabbed things up.  Bone in Skin on Chicken Thighs were 72c a pound.  I got four packages.  There were perhaps 8.  I usually try to leave some behind when I pick up marked down meats in case someone else needs the boost to their grocery budget.  I also bought a package of 2 filet mignon which were $18.98 a pound and were marked down to $4.45 a pound.  Truth: I have NEVER eaten filet mignon.  I figured I could afford to try it.  And for the record, that $18.98 a pound was cheap eats compared to what Ribeye was going for at $24.95/#.  Zowie!  

I did remember milk, and the Orange Danish we traditionally have for our holiday morning breakfasts. And despite all the stuff I bought, I stayed under my budgeted amount.  

Came home this afternoon and finished wrapping gifts.  I made supper of one of the packages of chicken thighs since I had failed to take anything from the freezer this morning.

John's just put on "The Bishop's Wife" so I shall end here and enjoy our Christmas movie.  I've told him we can't watch any action or war-based movies, only Christmas ones between now and Christmas, lol.

Tuesday:  Up early this morning...and put on some water on the back burner of the stove to help add some much-needed moisture to the indoor air.  I went out a bit later to clip some Rosemary tips to try and root and as I wanted to experiment with stripping half of the stems I planned to root, I dumped those leaves into the water simmering on the back burner.  

It was so cold and the wind so bitter this morning that I came indoors and put on a pot of potato soup.  I told the workman, who was in and out of that cold wind, that I was making soup and when it would be ready and that he was to have some of it to help knock the chill off.   I used Katie's trick of using some instant potatoes to help thicken the soup.  This seems to add a really nice flavor, as well.  

John went to pick up Caleb after lunch.  He came in and went on to his quiet time but at 2:20, when I was just beginning to doze off, he asked to go outdoors.  I sure did want that nap, lol.  I told him he had to wear his coat, but I found the wind had died down and while it was cool it wasn't as bitterly cold as the morning hours had been.  I told him to stay out of the puddle...

Well, that puddle was a proper temptation with his trucks, and he soon had them all bogged down in mud, like a proper boy ought to have done.  But so was his coat muddy, and his shoes and John said he had mud plastered all over his bottom as well.   We hurried to get his shoes and coat cleaned and washed because there was open house at the Montessori school this evening.

We headed over after supper this evening and Caleb showed me several of his lessons that he does.  I would like to have looked about a bit more, because I found each section had lots of little sections as well.  In one there were scissors, pencils, crayons, paper, tongs that were used to pick up Styrofoam balls that you dropped into cups, flash cards with pictures on one side and words on the other. That was just one station.  In another Caleb showed me a shape sorter set and building blocks to create towers.  Then we were all herded out so those attending the dinner could head to the restaurant.  I was impressed overall.

Of course, the hit of the evening was Santa visiting.  He and Caleb exchanged hats at one point, lol.  He wore Caleb's cap and Caleb had on his red felt hat.  Santa didn't loosen the cap to fit his head, so it was perched on top, and I couldn't help but remember this past fall when Caleb popped the cap onto Rufus' head, lol.  It sat just about the same on Santa's head.

Wednesday:   I got a lovely present in the mail yesterday.  Thank you, dear soul! Lots of cards have arrived this year as well.  That has made my heart happy.  Almost every day I've received one or more.  I've put them about the bottom of the tree, and it looks so much more festive than the bare tree stand did.  

I've had to clear off the work surfaces on the new cabinets because we're supposed to get counters installed today.  It will be nice to have them up out of the living room floor!  

I'm not complaining.  I know these guys have worked hard every single day and the contractor himself has multiples of jobs going and he's responsible for portions of the jobs on each job site.  But I am ready to have the counters on the cabinets so I can start slowly filling cabinets underneath them.  I have one narrow cupboard where all the baking sheets and 9 x 13 pans will go.     That's a given on that one cupboard.   But where will I put other things?  There's the question!  I still can't quite visualize the space and for me that is key to getting things in place.  I have to be able to see what will make the most sense.  It's been months since I stripped the kitchen down to bare essentials and I don't even know anymore how it functions, especially with all the new storage space.

This afternoon the bathroom is being painted. It will be absolutely lovely to have a completely finished room out of all this work.  I think John has also contracted to have a wood railing put up on the front steps, too and a touch up repair on the back porch step and rail.    But I do imagine that work might be done next week.  

I truly have no complaints about this whole process.  The guys have done their best to clean up daily and have done all they can to contain the messes when there are any.   They've worked steadily all day long each day with few breaks.  They've all been nice as could be and respectful of our living in the house as they've worked.  And they've tried hard not to have but one space not functioning at a time, rather than tearing them both up.  

All that said, it's been hard despite all this.  The chaos is there regardless, and our day does revolve about their work schedules.  At this point, they've been here for almost three weeks and I'm antsy to have time in my home without others present.  And to get things back in order.  And clean.  So that's the downside of having construction ongoing in the house you're living in.  But again, I do give these guys credit for being very thoughtful in this whole process.  

Thursday:  Countertops will go in today.  Apparently, someone had an emergency that needed to be dealt with yesterday and those I do understand.   However, the contractor is cutting the counter for my new sink as I type.

Yesterday, though I did little else, I took time to write out my resolutions and goals for 2024.  I skipped that process last year and this year I'm determined to get myself back on track.  One of my resolutions is to take no B.S. from any of my children about what I have or haven't done for them or another.  And another resolution was to make up my mind that I would not even begin to think I could make anyone else happy and to stop trying.  So naturally that was put to test this morning before the day was well started.  

I made an offer of a bit of social time with a guarantee that I would take care of children one evening a week to one of the children.  Immediately I was told that I was putting restrictions upon that person.  I assured this person I was not but that I wanted to make a committed gift of my time.  Child continued on with a calm but accusatory tone about what the original hateful incident had been about three weeks ago.  I explained again that I was offering a gift, and it could be accepted or not.  I absolutely refused to back off my stance on the other matter and said again and again: "I'm doing the best I can and I'm sorry that isn't meeting what you think I should do but I can't change how things have been.  I will do what I can in the days ahead, but it might not look fair from your point of view, and you'll just have to accept that." Ugh. 

Nasty stupid resolution demanding to see if I really meant it before 24 hours were up!   But I did mean it and I do, and I will stick to it.  Sorry to say however, that a third resolution didn't make it through a trial run after that episode, lol.  Practice, practice, practice.  That's all I can do.

I'm afraid the incident didn't end there but it was spoken of later in the afternoon to John and not to me.  He reported back to me some of what was said, and it was a list of still more transgressions I am supposed to have made against child and siblings.  I'm rather sick of all this to be honest.  This has pretty much sucked what little room for joy I've had in this Christmas season this year.  

I won't say I came out of it without any upset at all, but that bit of upset was relieved by attempting to rearrange the pantry cabinets I'd filled up last week.  Didn't make much headway there and am pretty certain I don't care for how things are going with that, so I quit.  I don't have to make final decisions today, nor do I have to waste my energy.  One thing John and I both are agreed upon is that I'll dedicate one drawer to our coffee needs.  I've had a metal drawer thingy under the Keurig which has served us well, as it did Katie before us.  Now I have a whole drawer I can dedicate to nothing but coffee, tea, cocoa and reusable k-cups and such.  Oddly enough it's been what to do with all the other drawers that has had me almost as fully flummoxed as the pantry cabinets have.  I've gone from having only three shallow drawers in the kitchen to having six plus the four extra drawers on the islands.

You might think I started out this whole project with hard plans about how I wanted the kitchen and bath to look, but no I haven't.  There were things I didn't even think about (like beadboard above the shower enclosure and the new storage space in the bathroom) nor how the completed kitchen might look (decor and such), though I was sure of the finishes I wanted.  But I do have a vague idea, now that I've seen the cabinets in place, and I think once the counters go in that idea will be further enhanced.   

So last night I went on Pinterest and looked up the sort of kitchen I think I want.  My ideal is a light bright clean looking space.  Not sterile, but very little on the counters themselves.  Something a lot less vintage kitschy and more sophisticated country than I've had.  Very much a useable space, too, not one of those kitchens that look like they get dusted when the housekeeper comes in and never has seen a a bread crumb or coffee ground.

I have a few ideas at present and perhaps I can get them to come out the way I visualize them...and just talking about them I realize that I've changed these last few months, and my decor will begin to slowly change all over the house.  Because I can see that what I envision isn't going to work with the back entryway and that area at all...It can be changed and some of those elements might still be useable just made nicer.  But yes, I feel the house, as John said just the other night, will lead us the way it wants us to go.  

I am not missing the upper cabinets in the least and don't mind a bit that I haven't any.  Now I'm looking at all those empty walls as decorative real estate.  I don't want a cluttered looking wall with shelves and dishes on them, but I think it would be rather nice to have artwork in the kitchen.  And that new little table I just bought?  I've 'seen it' in the kitchen sitting area along with two of the chairs Bess picked up from her mom's and gave to me when Jenny no longer wanted them in her space.  Perhaps not as comfy as my current seating but I can just see things set in that area and how it would function for having coffee with a guest or solo...

later:  Counters are in and despite the old wallboards, the room looks beautiful!  I've unpacked all but two boxes this evening of the stuff that's been in my room since June.  I can't wait to clear off the islands and get them organized!

Friday:  I come to the end of another week rather tired.  There's a possibility we may have workmen here tomorrow, but I think at the pace they are moving today it's likely we might not.  The very last finishing touches will be done next week, probably on Wednesday.  We'll have use of half the master bath, just not the shower unit.  It all looks so nice!  John paid for this week's work today and we know our final total now.  It did come out a little bit higher than initially thought but we weren't far off.  The contractor tried hard to stick to his original figures which were just a guesstimation of what it might cost, and he held that line close enough that we were neither shocked nor upset.  

I've been busy all morning long sorting out the islands and the organizing the drawers and cabinets.  Everything is in place there and the counters are nearly clear the way I want them to be.  I have a big huge box of stuff that I need to sort as keep for later and donate.  I've tossed things in the trash and thought hard about what I'm putting into each space and what might make the most sense for use.  I'm sure at some point I'll realize something isn't working as well as hoped and I'll swap it up but for now, I'm pretty satisfied.  

Now I just need to figure out these deep pantry cabinets.  I'm so unaccustomed to having real usable space to store canned foods in the kitchen.  I've tried to just look at the pantry shelves I have now and imagine that transcribed over into the deep cabinets but there's a big difference in spatial views.   I think that once I can start hauling things from the back it might fall into space.  

In the meantime, I am getting ready to have the three children from over the field for a short spell this afternoon.  I suggested I could keep them longer but that was vetoed...

Talked with Katie this morning.  She'd called me yesterday evening and I didn't know it until this morning.  She's been to the doctor.  They were out of flu tests but tested her for Covid, Mono, Pneumonia, and Bronchitis.  Katie often has flare-ups of that old Mono she had in High School, especially if she's feeling stressed and moving is always stressful.  She said Caleb was better as is little Bella (just 9 months younger than Caleb).  Katie herself has been ordered to stay home until they know what she has wrong with her.  Happy Holidays, huh?

We have our plans pretty well set for the next three days.  Tomorrow we'll be at home, possibly with workmen.   Sunday we're having breakfast with Katie and Cody and opening presents with the children.  Then we'll head to Mama's where we plan to carry in lunch and her gifts.  We'll come home that afternoon and relax here at home.  Christmas morning we're headed to Sam's to give the children our gifts for them.  And then we're coming home where we plan to lock the doors, pull the shades and just be alone with our Christmas dinner.   That's the best gift I could have for Christmas this year to be honest, just to shelter in my home with John.

I wish each of you a lovely, happy holiday and if not a happy one for you, then please accept my prayers for a quietly pleasant day for you.  I am off to do a final push of clearing up the kitchen and then I'm going to start my pizza dough going for the kiddos supper tonight.

Merry Christmas!!

P.S.  I know you are all wanting pictures and I am going to try to post some next week so that you can see all the work that has been done.   Right now there are areas that aren't quite finished and the kitchen is a right mess to look at, lol so photos wouldn't begin to do it's gorgeousness justice, but I promise I'm planning to get it done and show it all to you.  

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