Diary of a Homemaker's Week: Thinking Much

 

Saturday:  We spent the day at home today.  This is unusual for us anymore but it was pleasant to stay home and do nothing.  

I ran into town and walked through the flea market.  It was dark and gloomy inside and not as nice as it was once upon a time.  I would have come out empty handed but I always try to buy something when I wander in.  I chose a Gooseberry Patch cookbook this time.  I've long been curious about these little cookbooks and often tempted to order them at full price.  $3 suits my budget and someone will appreciate the sale.

I went into the local grocery namely because John asked me to buy ice cream.  I made brownies yesterday and as I was pouring them into the pan, I said to myself, "Now John's going to want ice cream."  How right I was.  I walked about and looked a little.  I think in the future when I go in it will be strictly for ice cream, especially in the hot months, and to pick up sale-priced fresh meat but everything else is just too dear in cost.  I can buy most items cheaper in the stores we normally buy groceries at full price.

I spent the day at home reading a blog I used to read about ten years ago.  I enjoyed the bits and pieces I read and I collected a few recipes to use in the weeks just ahead.

Sunday:  Ugh.  Woke up in tears this morning due to a silly dream.  I was awake early enough this morning that I could put away dishes and reload the dishwasher, make the bed, and pick up all the clothes I'd left lying about all weekend.   That was the bonus.

After church, we went to Lowe's to look at lighting again.  John had a certain light in mind for the hallway and we looked at the overhead fixtures for the kitchen.  John said that the light I have now is just a shop light and it's time to upgrade to go with the kitchen...Ok!   

We didn't buy a thing in there today.  I did notice that the garden center was full of vegetable, herb, and flowering plants.  So tempting!

We stopped at the grocery.  John was grumpy by this point.  He wanted to see Caleb. I suggested that we stay away this weekend and that we try not to show up every single weekend after church.  This did not make him happy.  I will have to ask Katie how she feels about us coming by and what best suits their schedules.  

He was grumpy all the way home, but a brief nap seemed to help his mood.  We had lunch and moods improved all around.  Sometimes, you just need a little more rest.

Monday:  I was excited to tackle my housework this morning.  I really do enjoy the satisfaction that comes from having my house clean and tidy.  Today I cleaned ceiling fans all over the house and then dusted each room.  John had planned to vacuum so it seemed a good day to do it.

I noted something that was needed in each room that was an extra, not related to cleaning. I decided to make up a list of three things from each area that I could do this week to touch on some of those additional tasks.  I went back after cleaning and took thirty minutes to do about 1/3 of the list.  The payoff of this was an added sense of satisfaction today.   And it was such an easy thing to add in!  

What really surprised me was that it took such a short amount of time.  Thirty minutes...

This reminds me of my old days as a homemaker when I always felt that every job took forever so I'd put it off.  One day I decided to time myself making my bed from the mattress up.  I didn't rush, just took my time and I was so shocked when I looked at the clock.  It had taken four minutes.  Four minutes.  I'd waited on the microwave longer than that!  I never let my bed go sheetless until bedtime after that.  I'd proven to myself that this job took less time than I'd imagined.  

That's what happened today, too.  Those little jobs I did today took less than 30 minutes, yet every room was left improved in an additional way.  I wonder what I can do in thirty minutes tomorrow?

Tuesday:  I knocked two or three more tasks off my 'extra' list today and plan here in a few minutes to take up a task that got added later in the day yesterday.  That will be another 'extra' done.

I am struggling this week.  I have had a bit of anxiety the past few days and I've managed through rest and care to tame that down a bit but I'm finding that overall I'm irritable.  And others are just as irritable.  Not just in my household but people outside in our wider community.  Why?

Is it the weather?  The relentless tone of the news lately?  Are we all succumbing to a baser nature due to the influence of social media where random rudeness and rants are mostly overlooked?

For myself personally, I've gone so far as to examine my diet (both physical and mental), checked my blood sugar more often, and made apologies when I felt I had acted wrongly towards anyone and yet there I am all over again moments later feeling irritated and irritable and frankly not liking anyone much, most of all myself.  I'm seriously questioning my aspirations and hopes, what I consider my work (homemaking and writing), and my existence in general.  Not a depression but just a general disgust with self and life as a whole...Do any of you ever feel that way?  

It was not by accident that I came this week to Ecclesiastes for Bible study.  I feel much as Solomon (or whoever authored the book) did in saying that 'All is vanity'.  According to one authority about the book, the word vanity in Hebrew is Hevel which means 'vapor' or 'smoke'.  Whenever I hear the word vapor I think of an example that Joyce Meyers used in teaching the passage from James, "For what is your life? It is even a vapor..."   Then she'd take hairspray and spray it in the air and say, "There I go..."  You could see the spray was there for a mere second or two.  It was a quick visual and if you blinked you'd miss it. 

That's kind of my mindset these past few days.  "What's the purpose?"  I am too well aware that the things that fill my days are inconsequential, of no importance and when I am gone will matter not one whit.   It doesn't make me want to leave my house a mess or to wander off into the world looking for any distraction I might come across but I am searching for something more.   And right now I've no idea what more might be.  I'd settle for a change of attitude!

Wednesday:  Yesterday I decided that I needed to take a break from social media and found a new Grace Livingston Hill book, Aunt Crete's Emancipation, on my bookshelf.  This is probably the only GLH book I've read in which the main character gets a makeover.  It was a quick read and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Today I am reading another new one called, In the Way.  I   am enjoying it as well.  In this book, a sister was given up in infancy after her mother's death and adopted by her father's brother and his wife.  When her adopted mother died she learned of her previous family and that she had two brothers so she decided to go live with them.  It's very much a homemaking sort of book which is one of my favorite things about GLH.

I've puttered around today doing all sorts of odd jobs.  I straightened my dresser drawers, tidied rooms, and planned out the day's menu then I finally took myself into the guest room where I stripped down the bed, gave the room a solid vacuuming, and began rearranging things.  I've more to do in that room but after we got the bed made this afternoon, I was out of steam and ready to start supper.

We had a lovely phone call with Caleb this evening.  John is happy to know that he'll see him on Sunday.

Thursday:  Millie and Sam came by this morning and had coffee (cereal for her) with us.  We had a nice visit.  I kind of hope that while he can, Sam will keep up these little visits.  I rather enjoy it.   Millie plays happily with various things and we adults get a chance to talk things over.  

After Sam left I announced to John that I planned to go out today...I had some errands to run, and a couple of grocery sales I wanted to purchase, and thought I might get a chance to look for a dress.  I didn't tell John all I planned to do, but out of politeness, I asked if he'd like to go with me.  He did.  I quickly changed all my plans to the bare minimum of simply grocery store pick up and returning pants.  I mentioned later today though as we were in a certain shopping center that I seldom came that way unless I was 'really shopping' because there are four stores I always make a point of going into.  I told him, "I think I'm about ready for a shopping day.  I've saved a lot of money since Christmas and while I don't want to spend it all, it would be nice to see if I can maybe find a dress and a couple of things for the house."  He said, "Well you should do that."  So we'll see if next week I get to have that trip alone or not.  

I wasn't terribly disappointed that John came along.  He wanted to get out of the house as badly as I did after all the rainy/cloudy days we'd had.  We went to our favorite Mexican restaurant where we could eat inexpensively.  We had a very leisurely lunch.

It was absolutely beautiful out today, just one of those glorious spring days that are all white and green and blue.  The sun was shining and the birds screeching with joy.   By the time we headed home though clouds were building up.  They looked like those aerial photos of fleets of ships in the ocean during WWII movies.  It was rather awesome to see, but every single cloud had a heavy dark bottom.  I hope to go to Peaches to Beaches, at least one little section in the next town over but will it rain?  It might be a possibility.  I haven't been in a few years and I'd very much like a chance to go see if I can find anything pretty for the guest room.  I'm mostly looking for artwork for the walls.

Friday:  I don't know if something within me has had a mind shift or if it's facts, but here of late, I am not enjoying the whole thrift shopping thing.  I was disappointed in the offerings on my trip to the town flea market last week and just as, perhaps more, disappointed this noon at the Peaches to Beaches sale.  The bulk of what I saw today was not antique, not old, not even desirable.  It was, mostly, old clothes.  As though everyone and her sister had routed out the closet of the spare room of every single thing they'd held onto for years and no longer wanted or could wear.  There were some odd dishware items, nothing old or particularly pretty, a few books but for the most part everyone had clothing.  I walked the full circuit of the depot park in Roberta and then wandered back to my car with an empty shopping bag.  

I drove down south of the town until a road that connected to my home highway intersected the road I was on and there I said "Enough"...I'd glanced up driveways at other yard sales, passed slowly between lines of cars stopping at these sales, and just headed home.  My treasure meter didn't go off even once today.  I admit to disappointment.  I'd so hoped I'd find pictures or a pretty side table or something for the house but no such luck and even those who had books proved to be disappointment.  Oh well.  I came home with the money I'd left with and I've tucked it back into hiding until I can slip away to an antique store sometime soon.  I've decided that what I really want is a wander among an organized clutter of things.  Or an estate sale.  That's what I need.

Anyway, I'd accomplished my Friday home blessing between last night and this morning's bit of work in the house so nothing to do for the afternoon at home but contemplate what I'll have for lunch and dinner tomorrow and how exactly I mean to cook the chicken in the fridge for supper tonight.  Then I indulged in four thin mint cookies and called it all good.

How was your week?  Any plans for the weekend?  

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