Nursing Home Memories: Sisters

 

In my time in the nursing home, I met so many different people.  Never in the time I was working in the nursing home did I meet anyone's brother, but I met the sisters of several women. In two instances, the sisters were such a contrast, one to the other, that you'd hardly believe they were related had they not admitted to it.  And in one case, the four sisters were so alike that one couldn't tell where one left off and the other began, their personalities were so similar.

First was Miss Iris and Miss Hattie. I never associated the two as sisters until I'd been at the nursing home for nearly 3 years.  Miss Hattie was a big sloppy woman, often testy at best and just right down ornery at worst.  She had the habit of dipping snuff (common enough among the women there) and being very sloppy with her eating, so her clothing was a testament to each day's meals and whatever snacks she might procure.  Her hair was often pulled into a bun on top of her, but bits and pieces stuck out at wild and crazy angles giving her an almost frightened (or better yet, frightening) appearance.

Frankly, she seemed to be not quite bright, but she was one of those who chose to hide how smart she was because she'd discovered that less was expected of those who weren't perceived as having intelligence.  So add laziness to her list of attributes.  She tended to grunt when spoken to and slurred her words a great deal more than the mild stroke she'd had would have made necessary.  Even without the slur, her language was pretty awful, and she spoke with a rough dialect.  She never married.  I've no idea if she had children or not now, but I think she didn't.

So, imagine my surprise when I discovered that Miss Iris was her sister.  I came to know and love and admire Miss Iris a great deal.

Miss Iris was attractive in a way that wasn't pretty as much as pleasant and part of that had to do with her appearance which was always neat as a pin.  Her clothes weren't expensive, but they were classic in style, simple and plain but attractive.  Her hair was always put back in a bun at the nape of her neck.  She was soft-spoken, but her speech was clear and precise, obviously that of a woman well-educated.  She spoke as a woman accustomed to being listened to and obeyed.  I found later that she was a teacher like their father and their mother was well educated as well (so no excuse at all for Miss Hattie's seemingly uncouth ways).  

Miss Iris had been married and was also a foster parent who had raised numerous children whom she set upon the right path as nearly as she could.  She was also devoted to her sister, though I often wondered why.  I can only assume that for Miss Iris the family tie was tied especially tightly in her psyche, and she treated Hattie as a dearly loved one despite all her rude appearance and ways.

While Miss Hattie had no time for anyone, Miss Iris honored me more than once by paying a visit when she'd done with visiting Miss Hattie.  I was appreciative of her kind and gentle manners and enjoyed getting to know her.

Another pair of sisters was equally as unlike.  They were Miss Lois and Miss Lane.  Their mother had been in the nursing home for years and years.  The two of them visited Miss Thelma often and were almost ridiculously devoted to her.  Miss Thelma had a mental disability.   At the time I knew them, I think Miss Thelma had been incapacitated for nearly 15 years, but that length of time did not decrease their dedication to her.

Whatever Miss Thelma was at the time I knew her, she couldn't help being.  It wasn't a matter of not caring or being lazy, it had everything to do with a mind and body that no longer worked the way God meant it to, through no fault of her own.  I can't recall now if it was caused by a stroke or some other illness, but she'd apparently been a wonderful mother to these two girls and they in turn were wonderful daughters to her.   The two women were in to visit Miss Thelma at least twice a week.  They often rotated visits but about twice a month they made a real effort to come on the same day and they spent the whole afternoon with Miss Thelma.

The two sisters were both career women and had been well trained for their career choice, that of legal secretary.  But there the similarities ended.

Lois was prim and proper, obsessed with how things appeared to others.  She worked for a prominent attorney in the next county and she was married to a prominent businessman.  She was all about having the newest house, and the latest luxury car, and wore classic and luxurious-looking clothing.  Her makeup was perfection, her hair freshly styled and her idea of casual would make most of us look like slovenly wretches even if we had taken great pains.  I cannot even imagine Miss Lois wandering around her home in pajamas and slippers with frowzy hair.   I suspect she was the sort who looked put together from waking looked put together even in sleep.  I never heard her raise her voice.  It was always well modulated and her diction was clear and true.  

Lane... God love her, Lane was equally as successful in her career but she'd long moved from a legal office to the State Senate where she was secretary to a prominent statesman.   I cannot say if she was married.  I can only tell you that if Lois was prim and proper and ladylike then Lane was flashy as a country singer with the twang to match.  Her hair changed color often ranging from blonde to strawberry blonde or Lucille Ball red.  Her makeup was heavy and exaggerated but it was in keeping with her clothing.  If she reminded me of anyone at all, it was Dolly Parton, because she loved jumpsuits and platform shoes.  Lane was modest in her dress only in that it fully covered her but it was always the brightest and most colorful, form-fitting clothing she could find.  Of the two sisters, Lane was the most successful.  When Lane spoke, the whole building knew that she was in the building!  Her voice carried well through the hallways.  

Both sisters were lovely and gracious, but I confess that Lane was the one everyone liked best.  She took people as she saw them and was less concerned about how they might help or hinder her social standing than Lois.  She was outspoken in a nice way and she never failed to be sure and compliment staff that helped with any care Miss Thelma needed.  CNAs and housekeepers, dietary workers, and nurses all flocked to the room at some point during her visits and Lane apprised herself of every detail of care that Miss Thelma received and she took careful note of any needs that anyone mentioned Miss Thelma required.

The last set of sisters was a group of four.  They were all tall and regal and devoted to each other, so much so that they all lived together.  Their parents had been well educated, but not via higher education as much as by being naturally interested and availing themselves of literature.  They were a family that thirsted after knowledge and humble as they were in their home and occupations, they'd raised their daughters with a high expectation that they would live up to their background and their names. And oh, what names: Olympia,  Theodosia,  Athena, and Thalia.  Their parents' love of Greek mythology had permeated their lives to such an extent that they never married because there were no young gentlemen who lived up to the standard their parents set in raising them.  Nevertheless, they didn't miss the male companionship.  They were perfectly happy as sisters.

Miss Theodosia was at the nursing home for only a short time, just long enough to get physical therapy following surgery, but the sisters visited her daily and the laughter and conversation that came from that room was always a joy to encounter.  They were happy sisters but happiest when they were all together.  Conversation in Miss Theodosia's room revolved around what was growing in the garden, homemaking, neighbors, community, and the books they were reading.  They were dear souls and we missed them all when Miss Theodosia went back home.

I'm sure that each of these ladies has long moved on to their heavenly journey but they live on in my memory of those days at the nursing home.

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