Diary of a Homemaker's Week: Unequal Division

Saturday:  Our local paper joined with a group of Georgia Associated Press Newspapers to lobby a complaint against the USPS in Georgia.  Now, not to be ugly, but ours is a small town newspaper and isn't that heavy on news beyond the city councils, commissioners, school board meetings, and elections in an election year.  Pretty much everything from there is strictly local: honor roll students, college news of Taylor County students, obits, local festivals, etc.  It is also the legal organ of the county.  Typically it's about 6 pages and takes under 5 minutes to read through even if you look at everything.

All that said, the result of the meeting was this news article which I'll assume was published in all the town newspapers since it was a GAP article.  

Here's the deal with the post office.  They closed TEN distribution centers around Atlanta (I've heard they closed others outside Atlanta as well) and then moved those operations and 10,000 employees to one distribution center outside of Atlanta.  The center opened in February of this year.  It was done as a general effort to cut costs and increase the profitability of the USPS.  

In the meantime, there's a lot of fuss, and rightly so, over the lack of timely mail.  The article stated that only 36% of mail is being delivered promptly.  The newspapers, especially the small-town newspapers, are experiencing huge losses as people cancel their subscriptions.  There is concern over the timeliness of absentee votes arriving.  The General Postmaster assures everyone that this will all be straightened out and operations will be greatly improved within 60 days.  Considering this all started about 90 days ago, I'll wager it's going to take a bit longer to sort out but fingers crossed they are soon done.  

Our mail service in Georgia is not the only state affected.  There was a mention of something similar in Richmond, Virginia, and plans for more such changes in operations across the United States.  Here's hoping they've worked out all the kinks by the time they do this in other areas.  

Sunday:  I was in real pain this morning, nothing but bones and muscles and I was sure it was weather-related since we've had spates of showers and then humidity and hot sunshine and then clouds and showers for the past three days.  I was right.  After the round of showers this afternoon the pain eased off but boy was it wearing while it lasted.  

When I went into church this morning, one of the pastors greeted me looking about the way I felt.  We hugged and assured each other it was weather and nothing more.  He looked as weary of pain as I felt.

At home today I've hurried through getting the house picked up and keeping up with the dishes, but only because tomorrow Millie will be here, and though she's no trouble it's always easier to have free hands than to be busy when a four-year-old is underfoot.

Sometimes I get very frustrated at the unequal division of labor here in the house.  John has always done the laundry and most of the vacuuming.  On occasion, he will make the bed and if he cooks he does his version of the dishes about 75% of the time.  By his version, I mean that he rinses in hot water and then stacks to the side.  He will not open the dishwasher under any circumstance (or open the compost can lid).  

All the rest of the work of the house and flowers, and routine maintenance outdoors that doesn't include mowing is mine.  It has always been so for 30 years and mostly it doesn't bother me.  He mows and weed eats and will trim limbs (but NOT prune my plants). He'd suggested strongly that he'd trim more if I'd haul limbs but I pointed out that I have plenty to do without taking on any part of his job and offered to do so only if he'd help me more. He's compromised by trimming the most aggressive growing limbs, leaving the rest alone, and doing his own hauling.

He will advise if I'm painting something or stand by to watch me work if I'm involved in hard labor but he does not pitch in and give me a hand unless he's specifically asked to do one or two things.  His reason for standing by is so that he can shout at me to not hurt myself or to sit down and rest, lol.  Again, it's been that way for 30 years and I don't feel I've just cause to fuss over it at this point in our marriage. 

When I was married the first time it was much the same.  My ex was a workaholic and always had something to do somewhere other than at home.  John, on the other hand, worked a taxing job and when he came home he sat down and relaxed and I liked the balance he struck far better than the previous marriage.  Plus he did help out with those few household chores which he attends to faithfully still without reminders that they must be done.

But that's not to say it doesn't bug me at times.  

All that to say this morning, I'd have given much if he'd made the bed or fixed me a cup of coffee, offered to make eggs and toast while I was struggling, or offered to pick up something for lunch.

If I really wanted any of the previously mentioned things done for me, all I had to do was ask.  I can't expect him to read my mind and know how I feel unless I tell him, though I do wish at times that he could read my mind, and do so accurately.  But then I got over myself.

Namely because once we were home he assured me that nobody and nothing was going to intrude on me today while I was in pain.  Nor did he do so himself.  If I'd looked at him and said, "I'm not cooking," he would have told me that was fine and fixed us something to eat. If I'd gone to lie down in bed, he'd have left me to it and not disturbed me.  

Monday:   I planned and planned last night when I ought to have been sleeping.  Today...Not one of those plans came to fruition.  And so it goes.  Why then, did I lie awake making all those plans?  Don't ask me!  I just make the plans and then realize why they are impractical after I've missed the sleep I might have had.  No time, no material, no clue how to begin something...There are as many reasons for my failures as there are plans.

That is not to say that today was empty of accomplishments.  I have completely redone the little flower bed next to the back steps.  It has fresh mulch, I put back pots and rearranged them, and I removed some (mint, apparently prefers morning sun with afternoon shade and that's a morning shade, afternoon sun space) and moved others in.  I really need to re-pot some things but for now, that will do.  It's a start and a start is better than doing nothing.

John laughed at me because I painted the little free metal chair I'd gotten a couple of years ago that started life here in a flower bed, then got put on the porch and was about to be a plant stand again.  It looked so pretty with fresh paint that I told him I hadn't the heart to move it off the porch.  Truthfully, the chair fits no one except the small children because it's so narrow.  The children need a place to sit too, so it will stay.

I also managed to do a partial mani/pedi for myself and then Millie wanted her nails done.  She opted today to do pale pink on her nails but wanted red polka dots atop.  We tried various things to make the polka dots and ended using a match, which was John's suggestion.  

I didn't put trimming back roses on my work list this week but I need to do that too.  The old antique roses are finished blooming now.  They were so loaded with blooms that the canes were bowed toward the ground.  I'll be pruning them back fairly hard and tying up those at the back porch to hold them out of John's way.  I need to get a trellis behind the one near our bedroom window so I can tie it up out of the way.  They are not climbing roses, they are just HUGE rosebushes.

The rosemary must be cut back too. I was reading how to prune a rosemary bush and I did it all wrong last year.  By rights, mine ought to have died per the article. Instead, it flourished and shot out in all directions and is now reaching out over the back steps and railing.  Perhaps my method of pruning wasn't so bad?

Wednesday:   I don't know why I missed writing yesterday.  I must have been too tired after working in the yard and house.  

Last night we were watching a very interesting sermon about the 'ites' tribes in Israel and what each tribe represented.  Totally fascinating and I was enjoying it a great deal when the phone rang.  It was Mama who wanted to 'talk'  What she actually wanted to do was argue about something silly.  She worked herself up into a screaming fit...The irony was not lost on me that I'd been thinking of our relationship all through that sermon and here she was on the phone screaming at me.  

I long ago vowed (finally) that I'd not participate in these ruckuses.  She was still seething this morning when she texted me.  I responded simply, "Love you."  

We were up extra early this morning.  I worked hard today in the yard and then John went to the other house to mow that yard.  I worked hard in the house while he was gone.  I'm tired. 

Lest you all think that this too is unequal division it is NOT.  John mowed our lawn yesterday and it took him around three hours (normal).  It took him 2.5 to mow Sam's yard today.  And it was hot yesterday and today.  I stayed indoors in the air conditioning both afternoons while he labored outdoors.  

Thursday:  I knew we were slated to get rain today but when it didn't start at 9am or 10am, I thought the weatherman was all wrong.  They so often are!  About 10:30 when I was getting ready to leave the house, thinking I'd leave at the same time as John, I heard thunder rumble.  I hurriedly kissed John goodbye and told him I wanted to get out ahead of any rain coming towards us.  He felt the same and decided to leave at the same time.

I dropped off mail and decided to go to the dollar store until later when I'd returned to town.  I headed to Ft. Valley to the discount grocery.  I had nearly finished shopping and was headed to the register when a clerk scurried past and said, "You might plan to stay awhile...It's coming down hard out there."  She was not kidding.  And I did wander a bit more but I knew the longer I was in the store the more I'd be tempted to add to my cart.  

I checked out, waited outdoors on the deep sidewalk, and contemplated the pouring rain.  It lightened up and I took my chance to run to the car (okay, a very fast-paced walk...).  Just as I got the trunk open, the heavens opened again and that rain-soaked me like a Hollywood screen set rain scene...I was blinded by rain.  I literally threw the groceries in the trunk and told John I watched as the water rose inside that trunk, too.  I shoved my cart into the buggy bay and ran (you know, moved quickly) to jump in the driver seat.  The moment I sat down I felt water squish out of my clothes.  It was running down my face and neck.  My clothes were soaked all the way through, and so were my underthings.  I'd closed my purse for a change but just sitting it on the passenger seat water ran all over that seat as well.

I saw John's thick sweat jacket on the back seat and grabbed it to dab at my face and hair and then to put on because it was a cold rain and I was shivering.  I had soon soaked through his jacket as well.

I'd planned to buy myself lunch at Captain D's.  I headed up a neighborhood street, thinking I'd take a shortcut. Ft. Valley is made with practically NO drainage.  There was none in that neighborhood I was driving through and I was seriously concerned by the flooded street.  It was even worse when I rejoined the state highway/main thoroughfare through town.  As I watched a car struggle through deep water I thought I'd skip that experience and drive on through another neighborhood.  I might have saved myself the trouble.  

I waited in line waiting for my order to be filled.  I had a long-running conversation with Katie who reminded me they are not considered 'fast food'.    I forget all places with a drive-thru window are NOT fast food.  And when I saw two women walk out with two huge bags I realized the kitchen had been slammed to handle that order and all the others too.

More pouring rain all the way home.  I had to drive slowly and carefully.  I could barely see the roadway despite the windshield wipers running full tilt.  It wasn't until I got nearer home that I remembered I'd noted that both ditches were packed full to the top with dirt and the county had not been out to clear them since the last deep rain we'd had.  Sure enough, there was a fully flooded portion of the roadway just at my driveway to navigate.   

At the house, I found the front yard flooded over the patio.  Ever wonder why we have a patio?  That's why.  It serves as a barrier against water getting under the house most of the time.  Not today!  I sat in the car until the rain slowed to a steady drizzle and got the groceries unloaded.  

I'd told the bagger at the checkout at the grocery not to put the meat and frozen things in plastic bags.  I assured him I had a cold bag in the car and I'd load it up.  Well, not only did I get caught in that big second-wave downpour, but I also couldn't find my bags.  I realized they were at home, hanging on the hooks at the back door waiting for me to take them to the car.  Doggone!  I grabbed enough empty bags to load up all the loose stuff in the trunk but it took time and the rain increased.

When I finally got indoors I stripped off shoes and clothes right in the laundry room and then rushed to the bedroom to find dry clothing.  I was cold and today is a day when I typically don't have an afternoon cup of coffee.  I settled on a cup of hot tea.  I had to have something hot to drink.

I am not complaining about the rain.  I'll take every bit of it we can get.  I just prefer not to get caught in that heavy a downpour.  And I don't much care to be driving on flooded streets.  But all is well.  I dried out, the car did just fine, and John and I had no accidents.  

Friday:  I wish I understood what was going on with me.  I woke this morning feeling drained after a broken night of sleep due to storms. Thunder and lightning do not frighten me  But a bright flash followed by a rumbling boom will shake me from sleep in a heartbeat.

I had one of those mindsets where I was feeling sorry for myself by the time I got up which was late.  I wanted someone to take care of me, and being myself I had to martyr myself further by doing all the things I didn't do yesterday when I ought to have done them and thinking how misused I was.   I put together a very poor breakfast (to be fair we've had bigger than usual ones three days out of four), snarked at John, got my feelings hurt when he snarked back and I ended up in tears.  Not the best start to a day and I was the one setting the tone.  Ugh.

I got my head straight after I'd stopped to have coffee.  Which I know too well is where I ought to have started my day.

We didn't do our usual Friday work today before leaving home today.  I told you I got up late and I was very late indeed.  We went on to do what we'd planned (haircuts, another grocery store visit to pick up some great sales items, and lunch out).   We finished off our day by stopping at Dunkin' Donuts where we treated ourselves to coffee and a doughnut with sprinkles.

The sunshine was so bright today, as though it had been as fresh-washed as the rest of the earth around us in all that rain.

When we got home...we worked.  Naturally.  Here we are at 6:30 and everything has gotten done.  It's been a nice day.  We have a busy weekend ahead of us.  Grandchildren both days, a visit to Mama, and then we head into a busy seven days behind that.  

I hope all is well with you all.  Come and tell us about your week and weekend.

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