Monday, June 23: I don't even know where to start. I had a rough start to my morning. Not anyone else's fault. Nor mine, really. I had one of those stupid, heart wrenching dreams just moments before waking. I wanted to stay home today, something fierce after that, but it was truly the residual effect of the dream and nothing more.
I have been making it a habit on my way over to listen to a sermon. This morning, I got in something like one and a half and I reckon God must have known I'd need every word of both!
Caleb went to the corner at least once before lunch because he was just showing out, but hey, fairly normal behavior. It was after lunch that things went to pot. I was nearly in tears when Katie got off work and I don't mean that in a sissy way. I mean it in the way of a woman who nearly lost faith in her ability to deal with a child. I wondered seriously if I was doing a bit of good for anyone and most especially for ea certain little boy.
I get little time with Henry. He's a very easy going, undemanding sort of baby. And it's a good thing he is because Caleb needs lots of attention to keep up with his thinking. I was feeling a bit guilty that Henry was getting so little hands-on time. Not that he wants it especially, mind you. He loves his big play pen because he's plenty of room to crawl about and lie down and roll around. He has his little bin of toys, and he plays with them. He watches the tv screen which is generally playing music but does have changing scenery.
I had a headache by the time Katie got off work this afternoon. It was stinking hot outdoors, 101F in the spot where I parked my car. Thank goodness I'd left the windows open...I'll have to get myself one of those sunshades to go on the dash. I figured the day had been so tough, I might as well go on to Kroger and take my chances shopping, lol.
I picked up a handful of items there. Five half gallons of milk on sale for $1.39. I bought the limit which I planned to freeze, a loaf of bread in case I don't feel like making more come the weekend. Dog food for Rufus, a bag of chips for John, a box of sugar-free raspberry Jello, because I so seldom see that flavor and I dearly love raspberry. I priced almond flour, but they had only Bob's Red Mill and that was very dear in price. Hemp hearts also were dear. I left those behind. I never located white vinegar which I really wanted to make refrigerator pickles, dressings and such. So, I came off light as far as shopping went. I checked out without a hitch despite using the self-checkout.
I put on a music play list to get me home. I normally just want quiet on the drive home, but I very much needed the calming influence the music had this afternoon. I chose a Jake Westbrook Summer music list and heard some interesting songs. I mulled over how 'radio' (because that's where most of these songs were originally aired) has changed over the years. These days I can hear fundraisers, golden oldies which is mostly songs from the 80's just now, lol, and political pundits but very little of the sorts of programs I listened to even 30 years ago. Ah well. That's why I am grateful for YouTube just now.
It's meant to be terribly hot for two more days. Then it cools down to something akin to mild temperatures which means a bit under 90F. After 101F it shall feel almost chilly...
Tuesday, June 24: Today Katie turns 33. I was just that age when I had her 33 years ago! I've thought and thought about how life played out when it came to Katie coming into this world.
If I said I was on the cusp of big changes when Samuel was born, then I was on the cusp of still more when Katie came along 8 years later. I'd had a rough year when I got pregnant with her. My marriage broke. I was in a job that was all wrong for my personality and knew I wasn't giving nearly the performance the patients or the facility deserved.
I had to return home to live with my mom and dad after the physical rehab hospital, because my marriage gave its last gasp and fully died. I moved out on my own for the first time and traversed all sorts of stupid things like a rotten car that cost me more than I was going to pay for it and not having hot water for a month before I could get a repair service to even consider coming to the house to check why I hadn't any. I was scared and unsure of myself and fumbling every step of the way.
I met someone just after my divorce was final who misled me. I found myself a single parent with two kids and another on the way, struggling to make ends meet, get my feet under me and making a lot of hard decisions. But I knew when I discovered I was pregnant that I would go forward with it. People told me I was 'brave'. I would laugh and say, "Or maybe just stupid..." Not because I felt stupid, but it was very much a part of the great unknown future that loomed darkly before me. And maybe they were right and it was brave, too because too many told me there was an 'easy way out'. It wasn't for me. Still, it cost me something to go forward with that pregnancy. Reputations were still broken over such things at that time in the area where I lived.
One reason my marriage went bad was because my ex made the solo decision to make sure he'd never have another child. I had no say in the matter. All my life long, I knew I dreamed of three children. I used to sit behind these two little girls at church who had a very bad mother and a very loving aunt who poured herself into caring for them whenever she could which was often. There was one girl with dark brown eyes and every time I looked into her sweet face and those brown eyes smiled at me, I started crying. I knew beyond a doubt that my last child would have been a girl with brown eyes, and I spent 6 years mourning the loss of that child even though I'd never had a chance to be pregnant a third time.
So, when I found myself pregnant, in not great circumstances, at a time in my life when I was neither physically, emotionally, or mentally prepared to have another child, I accepted the news from my doctor with something that felt a whole lot like a renewal of faith in life and a God from whom I had grown very distant. I remember calling Mama and telling her. That was one place I expected full condemnation. I told her "I can't help but see this child as a gift...And I plan to go right ahead with this pregnancy." For all that she can be harsh and hurtful, this was one area where my mom and I were in complete agreement. There would be no abortion. I tell you all right now that she fully supported me in my choice and she never spoke a single recrimination whatever she might have thought.
When Katie was born it was a hot day, much like today. Terribly hot with heat warnings all over the news. I held her in my arms, and I swore her eyes were already brown. She took one look at me, and she started talking. I had never heard an hours old infant talk before, but this one did. My goodness that baby cooed and ahhed and oohed from her first hour of life and didn't stop for 12 years.
I had my third child, the brown-eyed girl I'd grieved over, and I couldn't have been happier. Nor could I have asked for a better support system of friends, co-workers, and family during that time of my life, despite some others in the community making snide or hateful remarks or dropping acquaintanceships.
10 weeks after Katie's birth, John and I finally connected. I walked into my living room to find him holding my baby with an ease I'd seldom seen in a man. My neighbor was in the house and had been holding the baby when she opened the door to John, invited him in and handed the baby over to him! I was nonplussed and a bit leery about it, but I couldn't deny that he certainly seemed at home both with the baby and my neighbor!
Later I discovered that John had also dreamed of a third child, a little girl all his own, but he didn't say so right away. He had the good sense to wait a few months before he said it and we were a couple by then. He adopted Katie as his own shortly after we married two years later.
I think it's wonderful how God took my grief over that missing third child and John's longings for a daughter and brought them together into one girl we call Katie, all the while gelling us into a happy couple. There have been hard times, as there tends to be with any child, but oh the blessings we've had, too over the past 33 years with our little girl!
Wednesday, June 25: At 6:35 am this morning, after I'd been up a good twenty minutes, had a shower and was mostly dressed for the day, I had a text from Katie. "Cody's home. Take the day off today. Stay home." I was over the moon.
John said, "Go back to bed! Get some more sleep!" "Oh no...I've already showered and that woke me up. I plan to enjoy today!" So I headed right into the kitchen, gathered what I wanted to go outdoors, including my first cup of coffee, and off I went to work in the yard for the next hour and a half. John came out to look for me eventually.
I'd finished weeding and mulching the Rose bed, had partially weeded and mulched the 'gas' bed (where the gas line runs into the house). I'd moved the pile of branches out of the gas bed. I'd emptied the outdoor trashcan and cleaned a little mess off the shelves on the back porch. I stopped only because my shower was no longer valid. I was soaked to the skin with sweat, mosquito bitten, scratched from the roses, dirty, and itchy with mulch and completely content. John shook his head as he followed me indoors when I headed to the shower.
I sat with him for a bit. Had a second cup of coffee, overbaked another breakfast. There is a deep learning curve with the new combination oven. I've adjusted temperatures lower and cut cooking times, but I'm not quite where I should be just yet for breads or warming foods. John has said he's become a Cajun Chef with the new oven, because everything he puts in is blackened, lol. For all that, we really do like this oven. It doesn't put off the heat that the old toaster oven did.
Anyway, I sat with John for a good bit and I'm sure he thought, "Ah now she'll sit here and rest with me..." Nope. I got up and went to make the bed in our room which led to picking up the room and putting things away, clearing off my desk, gathering all my shoes to go back into the closet, then into the master bath where I deep cleaned, mopped and laid out the new rugs. I came out of the bathroom panting, lol. John said, "What about a day off?!" "But I'm doing the things I LIKE doing!" I told him. There is a great contentment in lavishing love upon my own home. I like housekeeping. I do light housekeeping at Katie's; a bonus benefit she knows comes with having Mama keeping the kids.
I sat and cooled down and then I was off again. This time, I went back outdoors but not for a long spell. Just ten minutes or so. I wanted to pick up the patio. I'd piled branches I cut, and weeds Id pulled a month ago on one end. The hose was unraveled all over the patio from Caleb's sprinkler time last week. There was a pile of trash I'd been accumulating for a long time, since April or so when I began work out there. I cleared all that up, snipped lower limbs off the tomatoes, pinched some basil and oregano off to dry, potted four of the fig trees for Katie's friend and snipped some more off the impatiens so I could root them. I'm going to see if I can root the limbs off the tomato plants, too.
At that point, John came looking for me again, lol. I promised him I was coming right indoors, that I'd just gathered up trash...Indoors to cool off again, then I was back at the cleaning. This time the guest bath got a good cleaning, new rug and towels. Then the kitchen got swept because I'd tracked in so much sandy soil on the damp soles of my shoes. I mopped the guest bath and the kitchen, laid out new rugs in the bathrooms, puttered about cleaning this and that...And finally, I decided at that point that I most certainly could stop and take the rest of the day off...Until I think of something more I want to do!
Thursday, June 26: I'm rather irritated at myself. I'd meant to take the children to the last program for this month but somehow, I've got my head calendar wrong...and the program was yesterday, not next week as I was envisioning it! Darn it! That was the last program I could do with the kids for this month. I'll have to pick up the July calendar and see what we might do together.
Another day with Caleb and Henry. Both boys were fine today, though each gave me a struggle in his own way. Henry did not want to stay in the playpen, but I can't just let him roll about on the floor in the house either. He was very active today. That wee one has a strong kick, let me tell you, as I learned when I was trying to wrestle him down long enough to get his diaper changed. Caleb was very well behaved until it came time for homework and then he balked and rebelled and fought. Ugh.
Last night about the time we got to bed, we had storms move in and the promised cool down did occur which was a blessing because our power went out at 2am and was still out this morning when we got up to start our day. Those little portable rechargeable camp fans? Perfect for stirring the air about in the room. That standard stove top percolator (and the gas stove)? A huge blessing! It meant coffee for us and a cooked breakfast. The electricity came on again as soon as breakfast and coffee were done. Glad of that, too.
I had one near fail...I hadn't drawn fresh water up for storage in a few months. I'd use what I have on hand now for washing up but not for cooking, I don't think. Fortunately, we had plenty of bottled water on hand and had filled the tank on the Keurig and the water pitcher we keep next to it before bed last night.
I've puttered about this evening since I got home. I have a pretty bouquet, a homegrown one, of two gladioli and a Star Gazer lily that is quite lovely. I finished the pedicure I started over the weekend. I watered indoor plants with the water I had left after boiling eggs yesterday. I put away the dishes I'd washed last night after supper. I had an easy enough supper, one of my frozen entrees thawed and yet another zucchini, lol. I have had squash three times this week. I still have three more...and a container of leftover squash casserole in the fridge. No problem there as I can freeze that. And I do plan to grate the zucchini to put into the freezer, too. And if Sam gives me more of them, then I'll use them as well or preserve them.
Another day done...
Saturday, June 28: John went with me yesterday to Katie's. He wanted a haircut (and needed it, too!). I was adamant that I would not go to Katie's this weekend. I need the break, and they need it from me, even if the boys are delighted to see us all over again. John was disappointed that his Sunday routine is to be broken, but I insisted, and Katie backed me up! So, John spent today with the boys. He lulled Henry to sleep for a long, lovely nap. He almost had Caleb asleep a bit later, but John said his eyes would close and he'd snap them back open instantly. Caleb could have benefitted from that nap, but I guess it's okay since Grampa got a short one with Henry and I got one later when he went back to Caleb's room to sit on the floor.
I'm trying to incorporate a Friday Funday into the routine. I'm trying to make what Caleb's done over the week fresh and fun. I brought dominoes and had him match the numbers of the tiles together. We cut shapes from Playdoh and then gave each a texture with different kitchen items (fork, colander, pancake turner).
The biggest lesson I'm trying to teach right now is that we do what we have to do in order to have time to do what we want to do. He was very good about putting away his folded laundry and collecting all of the dirty laundry from the bathroom yesterday. I don't do the laundry, but I did fold the laundry. Katie's washer/dryer is a big step down from the house in an enclosed garage and I cannot quite manage that step up.
After Katie got off work, she not only cut John's hair, but went right ahead and cut Caleb's and then she ordered Cody to get in the chair next. I told Henry, "You're lucky. Mama won't be cutting your head of hair just yet." He has lovely soft brown wavy hair, and it reminds me of how wavy Isaac's baby hair was. To this day Sam's most often mentioned regret is that he ever cut Isaac's hair when he was a toddler because it's been straight ever since.
When we left, we drove down to Perry to purchase blades for the mower. They had none in stock. John said we'd order some this weekend, and we've done so today. We'll see if we receive these. Remember last July that we ordered blades and the package arrived empty, and the company wouldn't even acknowledge emails or complaints. Let's hope for better luck!
We took a backside of Perry roadway so didn't pass fast food places. I was so hungry! I'd planned to ask John to stop for takeout for supper, since my supper plan had been our lunch for the day. I thought, "When we get to Ft. Valley, I'll ask him to stop there..." Well darned if he didn't take another back way and we missed the food places in town. When we arrived in Reynolds, I asked if he'd go on to Butler and stop at Subway for sandwiches. He was silent for a long time and then said, "I will but only if you'll buy two so we can have a sandwich tomorrow as well." Not a hard request to fulfill. But we didn't go to Butler, we decided to drive to Roberta where we filled our car with gas and picked up our supper (and lunch for today).
It was good to come home to a clean house and know that the bulk of the week's work was done earlier in the week. We ate our sandwich, watched the next to last episode of Endeavor and I feel asleep in my chair by 9pm. A real party gal, that's me!
Just as soon as I was asleep last night, a flash of lightning lit up the room and woke me. Thunder rumbled and was quickly followed by a very heavy rainstorm. No wind but gracious the pounding of the rain on the roof was loud. It all ended around 2am, but water was still standing in the yard when I got up at 8 this morning.
I went outdoors and tackled the flower bed between the patio and the back porch. It's been looking terribly overgrown and wild. The gardenia has doubled in height. The hydrangea has gotten quite big. There is spiderwort in front of the bed too, as well as the wild day lily. The spiderwort had turned to seed. My way of controlling those is to simply snap them off at the base of the stem. Then I dump them in the woods where some take hold and bloom and some just languish. Those in the flower bed will put up new growth and bloom again.
Today my goal was to remove the dead woody daylily stems, cut all the dying blooms off the hydrangea and prune the gardenia. All three jobs were accomplished. Then I sprinkled coffee grounds under the hydrangea which likes it. My goal of spreading mulch in the bed in front of the back porch was overly ambitious. I was wiped out. I came indoors and showered and changed.
The trimmings from the gardenia bush I'm going to attempt to root. Not only does John just love them but Sam has asked if I can root some for him to plant along his front yard fence line to block the dust from the road. I want to see if I can also root some hydrangea.
Oh! I put on the shorts I bought earlier this year. They're just yoga type shorts of stretchy material but they were so tight when I got them that I felt a bit like a casing sausage. This morning when I pulled them up, they felt just right. Not at all too tight. Over the last three weeks I've lost enough weight that my size 22 jeans are now a wee bit loose. I'm pretty proud of that.
Putting on these shorts today was a good incentive. This past week I've 'indulged' myself a little more often than I'd typically do. A handful of chips here, a mini candy bar there, an extra bite of squash casserole after supper...The one thing I've noted is that if I'm particularly busy some days at Katie's I find it hard to get my water intake in. On those days I'm prone to fantasize of stopping off at fast food places on the way home (I pass several) and so by the time I'm home I'm ready to munch and snack.
I have indulged on the worst of those days (it's happened twice) to a glass of unsweetened iced tea or a diet soda. It's $3 for a large drink. John suggested I make my own tea and take a bottle along to indulge in on the way home if it's truly a temptation to get more than just the beverage. He's got a good idea there! I can fill my cup with ice before leaving Katie's and have a nice cold drink on the way home minus all the additional temptation.
I kept telling myself to be mindful and stay the course this week, but I'd indulge in a little something that wasn't on plan each day. I won't have nearly the same trouble next week because this week I've found my 'progress' report is a good one, thanks to the shorts fitting so well.
A quick frugal report for the day and I'll end this day's posting: I went through the fridge today and had to toss half a head of Iceberg lettuce. That's my least favorite lettuce and I'm sorry I didn't finish it up because I dislike waste favorite or not. I never should have purchased the favored Romaine before I was closer to finishing that Iceberg off. I also tossed half a bag of coleslaw mix. I started out good with it. I made slaw and then I added it to two salads and then it got put in the drawer out of sight and today it was grey and sour. I don't typically buy coleslaw mix but it was actually cheaper than buying cabbage when I purchased it. So that's my NOT frugal part of the week.
And too, I spent money on take out again this week. Neither week has my choice been the best cost-wise even if we did get two meals off of each meal. I'm not going to judge myself too harshly on this count because I have cooked meals routinely each week I've been working. I'm just so tired and done by the end of a long week of keeping kids and running errands after work each day. They are necessary errands, but they take that extra bit of time I might be at home. And I'll only be working about two or three weeks more.
On the other hand, today I used the last two peaches and the last two apricots to make a Cobbler. I used a stevia product for 3/4ths of the sugar in that recipe. I tossed all of the blueberries Sam picked for me into my cereal bowl and had a bowl of blueberries with a sprinkling of cereal on top for my breakfast. I took the last three zucchini left in the fridge and grated them and put them in the freezer in 1 cup measures. I didn't let a single bit of the produce he blessed me with go to waste and I'm glad of that.
Sam brought over 8 meal boxes from the school this week. He gets them for each child, and he has very limited storage in his small home. So, he donated this week to me. I'm keeping three and giving five to Katie for them to have on hand. Mind you all, Katie could get the same for Caleb but in her county, the parent must wait in line at one of the schools for the handouts. I suppose it's because her county is largely urban. She can't miss that time at work, nor can Cody so they don't get them. Our county delivers them to the students' homes.
Probably the biggest money saver I've made this week is to stay out of the grocery stores. The sales are hardly worth the effort. I'm thinking the holiday week sales we used to see on condiments and meats, and such are a thing of the past.
For supper tonight we'll have lasagna from the freezer, green beans and garlic toast. I could make a salad if we're terribly hungry, but we had a lot of vegetables on our sandwiches today (spinach, bell pepper, onion, tomato).
I took my lunch to Katie's every single day this week. Not that I'd be able to go out and get any lunch if I hadn't!
I made my first pay count by paying for John's new glasses and bought new rugs for both bathrooms rather than frittering the money away. I've already planned to use the next pay to cover some of our annual fees. I'll top those sub accounts up for the year and free up a few dollars each month for the rest of the year. And with the last pay, I'm going to lay that towards a pantry restock. I'm doing my best to make sure that this time outside of my home counts for something.
Sunday, June 28: Not a terribly exciting day. I didn't sleep well because my knee and hip ached so last night. I finally got enough relief with the heating pad to get a little sleep. I still woke before the alarm went off this morning.
I was so pleased it was sunny today with predictions of rain only in the afternoon, not the morning. I wore my favorite blue and white cotton maxi dress. I didn't realize that today was the Fourth of July program for the church. There was a sea of red, white and blue in the lobby and sanctuary. I fit right in.
We stopped to get ice cream and peaches on the way home. It wasn't peach ice cream, but a Nutty Buddy type ice cream. It was super rich, and I told John I believed I wouldn't eat one of those twice. I don't know who supplies the peaches at the place where we stopped but they were delicious last week, so I thought I'd get a bag again this week. I'm not buying the half bushel boxes like I did last year. I'm getting only a small bag at a time. Those little bags at the convenience store cost $10. When my time is my own once more, I'll go the sheds and see how they are priced there.
Once home today, I took up the chicken I cooked in the slow cooker and made chicken tacos. I had enough shredded chicken leftover to make Taquitos for the freezer. I believe I got a dozen of those.
I unpacked three of the boxes of meals Sam had given me and put those away.
All in all, it's been a very pleasant day. It's been a pleasant week. Here's hoping next week will be the same!
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