Diary of a Homemaker's Week: Acknowledging Limitations

 

Saturday:  Since we had no real plans for today, nor any bagels or croissants, John and I played tag team in the kitchen together and cooked various components of a big breakfast, which is one of his ideals.  It was good and most welcome on a chilly Saturday morning.

The option we had of possibly going out today was not one John wanted to take advantage of.  All things seem to work out just fine in the end though.  We had a faulty light switch in the guest bathroom that needed to be replaced.  John might easily have done it, but he always gets super antsy about such things and had asked Sam to come help.  Sam had told him he wouldn't come until Sunday, but as it happened his morning opened up, so he came right over.  That job is now done.  If we'd have left home, it wouldn't be fixed at the moment.  So yes, things work out just fine. 

And the plans for keeping the kids today have changed as well.  We possibly will have them for a few hours this afternoon just to give Sam and Bess some rest time, but Bess is not well, bless her, so the plan to go out has been scrapped.   They will shoot for their actual anniversary day which is next week.  We'll take Millie and pick up boys when the bus drops them off.

John contacted the contractor today and our start date is in two weeks.  It's good to finally have a date set and now my only anxiety is whether he will start in the kitchen which is pretty much cleared or the bathroom which most assuredly is NOT.  I will not panic, I will not panic, I will NOT...

Katie had been making plans for Caleb's birthday which is coming up soonish and having heard that the contractor will be here at about the same time, I have instructed her to plan said birthday in such a way that it can work around a non-working kitchen.  One hopes the weather will be cooperative and we can all be outdoors that day.

I took advantage of not having a 3-year-old underfoot to move a cabinet unit that John moved last week.  I'm rather irritated over that move because he had absolutely no business at all going to look in the darn thing for what he wanted.  It was, frankly, him not listening to me at all that sent him there in the first place.  In moving the unit to get into it (It was facing the wall to keep Caleb out of the stuff) he didn't put it back against the wall and so a pile of things fell down behind it into the dead space.  I just needed to not have 'help' from said child before getting that moved out, digging out the things that fell and then replacing the cabinet properly.

Then I went ahead and sorted out my pantry which had gotten into a right mess over the past few weeks.  One of my bins had been moved and put back so that it couldn't be opened to get into it.  Other goods had been piled about and not put in their proper place.  It wasn't my own doing but with three or four going into the closet to retrieve or put in things gets to be a real mess over time.  

While I was sorting that out, I determined my last pantry stock up shop for this year.  I need: more maple syrup, shortening, salt, flour, brown sugar, canned mushrooms, diced tomatoes, tomato sauce, salad dressings (John likes French, I like to keep a good Italian dressing on hand), pickle relish, pickles, pepperoncini, pimentos, some type of cooking oil besides olive oil, more olive oil, oatmeal, grits, and for shorter term storage some type of cold cereal.  I have a bag I bought for the kids that is rock hard.  I think it's probably going to prove to be stale.  As well, John likes certain cereals and needs a box or two.

It sounds like a lot of stuff but really isn't in my opinion and not every item must be bought right away.  Some of these things I can pick up when sales occur.

Now that is all the work I shall do today.  I'm going to spend the rest of my day reading and playing games. 

Sunday: Last night while the children were here, I got a lovely surprise.  Isaac has always sort of followed Josh's lead.  He's done so pretty much all his life long and never once complained.  If Josh liked it, he liked it.  If Josh didn't, he didn't.  That's just the way it was.  

When his tablet died last night, he asked if he might watch tv and he specifically asked if I'd let him watch Sonic the Hedgehog.  It was just a video of someone playing the game (you see the game action, not the person playing).  Isaac settled down next to me and started telling me every single action, character, purpose of each move, etc.  He talked and talked and talked and got more and more excited watching the game.   I was thrilled to pieces, because this was the first time I have ever seen Isaac like something that was exclusively his own interest, aside from his love of rainbows.

Something I'd found true with Samuel was that once we finally found his passion, it was a simple process to get him books based on that interest, and he took up reading with equal passion.  I noticed last night that Isaac was readily and easily reading the screens as they came up...And I have a pretty good idea of what sort of gifts might appeal to him for Christmas and birthday.

Monday:  I was awake when the alarm went off this morning, but I did not get up...Never mind, Bible study, makeup, making bed, picking up room and then out to the kitchen to attend to the duties of the day.   

Caleb was more than ready to go outdoors, and the cold morning air is nothing to him.  I was wrapped in a jacket and shivering.  He was warm as could be and happy, too.  

What I love these days is that he's wandering around.  I do have to keep my eye on him.  I found him twice in the edge of our woods.  The trouble with our 'woods' is that they aren't mature trees, but they are small trees in the midst of thorny vines, etc. and practically impossible for aught but small boys, dogs, cats, rabbits and deer to walk through.  He finally came around front to the patio where he lamented the lack of water in his water table.  Then he discovered the gardening wagon was holding water and while my back was turned, he more or less splashed his head, his feet, etc. so that he was good and wet all over.  I brought him indoors, cleaned him up and got him in dry clothes, then I prepped supper so it could roast while I was gone to the Chiropractor. 

I really enjoy that two hours in which I am more or less alone.  I take a back road over to the doctor's that is a winding road through farmland and woods.  The colors of the trees was really beginning to show.  I felt that familiar pang of sort of sadness and drew myself up short.  

Just yesterday, I'd read a Bible verse from Genesis: "For as long as the earth remains, seed time and harvest, heat and cold, summer and winter will continue."

 I realized that I have grieved over each season as it's ended for nearly two years and why? This quote was part of God's promise to us. The seasons are part of the earth's natural rhythm and will last as long as the earth stands.  I am grieving over something that I ought to not be sad over.  It's a pattern that must play out as it is, with a special purpose for each season to accomplish.  

Coming home I noted those colors again and decided to express joy and gratitude for the changing trees, the cooler air, the golden hues of autumn.

Tuesday:  It feels like the days just slide right past me lately.  Not helped at all by my reluctant arising in the morning.  Yes, I tapped the alarm again this morning and rose exactly one hour later.  To excuse myself I will say that I found my sleep pattern last night was interrupted and I was wide awake at 2:30 am.  I finally dozed off but truly it's awfully hard to get up at 7:30 when you've not had nearly enough sleep. Not really an excuse. I must discipline myself to get up.

I did extend discipline and made myself read my Bible chapter this morning before I even thought of touching Instagram or my book.  I was going to skip it and 'wait until later'...I know myself well and reminded myself that later moment never seems to come.  I didn't have my Bible, but I took up my phone, looked up the chapter I was on and read it through while I had coffee.  Not as satisfying somehow as holding my Bible and making notes but I did meet that goal at least.

We tried 'nowears' for the early part of the morning.  Caleb wet right through twice and then I put him back into a pullup.  Tomorrow we shall try once more.  I was having a struggle with him this morning.  In fact, we've been struggling for the past two days with him here.   He wants to talk back, balks at every suggestion and immediately cries, "I want Mama..." if he is disciplined.  This too shall pass.  Consolation is knowing that his Mama would tell him the same as we're telling him and then he'd cry "I want Gramma...I want Papa..."   

I think the issue is that he wants to be in school NOW and he believes we're not telling him the truth about his going.  He has no concept of 'tomorrow' much less "in two weeks".  

Katie had a meeting with the director and came home saying how pleased she was.  She was told they teach 'consequences' and that punishments such as time out are used. I told Katie I felt that was wonderful.  I couldn't help but think how very frustrating we'd found the church nursery that would use NO discipline of any sort other than calling parents to come pick up a child...And they were most adamant that they would not use measures like time outs, quiet spaces, etc.  

We have Millie this afternoon and later the two boys.  After Caleb is ready for bed, I'll take the three back to their house and get them sorted out with homework, showers, bed, etc.  Right now, the day seems to have a very long view...

Wednesday:  John and I had to split to attend to the two boys yesterday.  Josh attends a STEM class on Tuesdays and stays after school.  Isaac comes home on the bus.  I took Millie and Caleb up to the other house to meet the bus, while John went to pick up Josh.

The littles played on the swing set.  Caleb kept wanting me to push him.  Millie stopped her swing and said, "Caweb...Do it wike dis," and she taught him how to get his own swing underway all by himself.  It was a sweet moment.  Those two are funny.  Caleb adores Millie.  Millie can't decide if she likes Caleb or loathes him.  That was a like moment.  We needed one of those yesterday, lol.

I brought the kids back here and supervised Isaac in his homework, was read to by him from his library book and then the older kids settled down with tablets while Caleb and Millie, still on a friendly basis, ran from the backdoor to the tv in the living room and back again repeatedly, screeching happily the whole while.  I could have halted them, but I figured it was going to wear them out eventually and they both needed to release that energy.

I took the three children home, planning to supervise the usual evening activities of showers, laying out the next day's clothing, etc., but Sam and Bess were back.  I happily came home.  Katie had already gotten Caleb into bed.  I went in to say goodnight to him and found him already drifting to sleep.  I could have drifted right to sleep myself, but Katie's young man was coming over and he was bringing a round of milkshakes with him.  

I had no sleep issues last night, even with an evening milkshake in my system.  

Today went on and on.  I had a little bit of an unusual day in that I got a lot accomplished in the early morning, without any interruptions. Caleb and I did go outdoors, but Seneca the grand dog came over to visit, which meant that Rufus felt he must protect me so he snarked and snarled at her and she'd bark, which upset Caleb and drove him to climb onto my lap and jump every time the dogs did the round of fussing.  I finally brought him indoors and he decided to go to his room and watch TV.  Normally we don't allow TV after 9am but I made an exception.  He'd been rubbing his eyes all morning long, so I think he was as tired as I felt.

All this meant, however, that I got a lot of small jobs knocked out and even managed to bake a Gingerbread before lunch, so there was little to be done this afternoon.  Caleb was so quiet during quiet time that I finally just closed my eyes and dozed off myself.  

Because Caleb has NO concept of 'later' or 'tomorrow' I didn't tell him the plans afoot for this evening until just a few minutes before he was to leave home.  Sam and Bess and kids stopped by to pick up Caleb (and put his car seat in their car) and went to the Trunk or Treat Festival at church this evening.  Katie was meeting them and Cody with his little girl there this evening.

Of course, no road trip is without drama, is it?  Seneca followed them over and while Sam was trying to unhook the car seat, Sassy took offense at Seneca's presence, which Seneca calls sport and chased her up a tree again.  Sam took off to discipline the dog.  This happened just as Bess was trying to get the children grouped for a photo and they all thought the whole thing was hilarious and so they were screeching with laughter.  

The dog evaded Sam, the children were hard to control, the parents were losing minutes with every bit of their efforts going to waste...

You could just see the evening going off track entirely, lol.  But all was well.  They pulled it all back together and got off within minutes of the originally planned time.  Sam had made burgers and had bags of chips for the kids to eat on the way to the Festival which I thought was pretty darned clever.  

I sure hope they all have a grand time.  And I hope that Katie and Cody can find them.  I've seen the pastor's LIVE update and there was a huge crowd there.  

Thursday:  I went to bed early last night and struggled to read my current book, Swift Waters, by Emilie Loring.  Honestly not happy with it.  I loathe the main character, Jean Randolph, can't stand her grandmother, The Contessa, and the family of antagonists...And the whole while my mind was just circling round and round over how rough the day/evening had been in ways I have no desire to share.

When John came in last night, I rolled over to say goodnight and burst into tears.  How bad have things been?  He cried right along with me!  Then we talked for the better part of an hour about all the things troubling us and our own doubts and fears regarding situations and our overall helplessness in dealing with any of it.  Nothing solved, but I reminded myself that the tears are a necessary reset and let them flow freely.  Slept well enough after that to prove the theory true.

We're taking a new tack with Caleb today.  I don't know if he's just had enough of himself and his taciturn ways as well, but the day has been more peaceable.  I was asked if I'd like to have Millie today, but I declined because frankly the week has been difficult, and I couldn't do justice to two three-year-olds.  I felt a pang of guilt in saying "No" but sometimes we have to acknowledge our own limits.  Recalling last night's spate of tears made the guilt sort of melt away.

I walked about the little garden this morning...All my hopes and dreams, sigh.  I have seven tomatoes on the vine and all the plants are blooming at present. One tiny eggplant that I might as well harvest.  It's literally the size of an egg.  The first bed of beets and beans and peas has done nothing but sprout a lot of what appears to be baby petunias which might be gorgeous but won't feed us.  I think I'll go out and plant garlic in that one.  There are a few carrots here and there.  The beets in the rest of the pots and planters are stupidly small.  The lettuce that I ought to have been able to harvest a week and a half ago is still barely forming.  I pulled one sweet potato.  The tubers never developed.   Of the two dozen snap peas planted I have three plants.  Beans planted in the past two weeks are growing well, but will I get a harvest?  Not sure.  I guess we'll consider this year's 'garden' a bust and move on.  Hope has dripped away in increments this year.  I'll try again next year.

John went off to mow the lawn at the Manor House.  Caleb waited for him outdoors.  He played on the while I made Tortillas, until I called him indoors and gave him his own piece of dough and his little rolling pin.  He enjoyed that time playing with the dough and afterwards I cooked it for him while he and Grampa were out taking the trash off.  He ate every bite of it, when he got back, too.

Friday:  Well rats...

I always scan the weather for the week ahead so that I can plan the new week.  Having just this morning looked over my hopeful garden again, I can tell you sincerely, that I could have wept when I saw the forecast: frost...not once but twice in the week ahead.  I looked at John and said, "Well that's that..."  

It likely wouldn't have hit so hard but just at the moment that new dog of Sam's has ripped up a flower bed I spent forever working upon and then ate one of my orchids...I was feeling like working in the yard is pointless already.  To know that my garden is about to die entirely just makes me want to weep.  Drats!

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Plant stand:  

Now I shall be losing my garden, must go dig out the clear bins to keep the plants I can't bring indoors, and figure out where in the heck I can put the plants I am bringing indoors, because without the tub...Well, that's where the plants have lived all winter for the past ten years or so, lol.  

I think I may need to order the plant stand above and place in my sunny kitchen sitting windows...But not until the new kitchen is set up so I can see if it will fit.

Not a great morning in the house, nor the worst we've had either.  I'm still racking my brains to determine what I shall make to take to a covered dish dinner tomorrow afternoon.  They are providing the meat (unknown) and we are requested to bring a covered dish.  At the moment I'm thinking of making a potato dish that is simple enough to make but oh so delicious.  On the other hand, I've a ton of cooked spaghetti and I've just been thinking longingly of Grandmothers Baked Spaghetti and Cheese.  It was always so good.   Now I need to make a decision...

The weekend will be 'free' as far as children are concerned.  We don't have plans to do much of anything except go to this dinner.  There is an Estate Sale in time and I'm thinking of running in tomorrow morning to see if they have anything of interest left.  John won't go with me, so it will be a nice solo outing for me to enjoy on my own.  I love nothing better than a good long ramble through an old house with permission to plunder...

Do you have plans for the weekend?  Was the week behind busy?  Come tell me how it's been...