Iced Tea Chat: Wilting In The Shade

Hello dears, hello...I've been 'restraining' myself these past few days from doing too much, so I've written any number of posts, read any number of chapters and worked hard in spells.  But I shall not even faintly suggest we sit on the porch or patio.  There's not enough ice in all of town to make it in the least a consideration.  July has decided to be HOT and no mistake about it.  I dried two full loads of clothes on the line yesterday in half a day's time and had I planned better and been less considerate of my energy, I might easily have washed and hung to dry two more and got them in before afternoon.

The 'kids',  as we call them, went to their home on Sunday.   John was at work and Samuel considers that a prime time for leave taking and has since his Navy days.  John, you see, is a bit of a weepy fellow when it comes to seeing the children off no matter how old they get nor how short the time between visits.  Samuel is a bit of a sentimentalist himself and John always proves to be his undoing.  So they left on Sunday, one of John's work days this week.

I had, by the end of last week, reconciled myself to how much I'd miss them and had  begun to think how pleasant it would be to have my home all to myself for a few hours and anticipated the return of a few routines which had been set aside with extra folks in the house. That is not to say I too couldn't get sentimental.   I ENJOYED having someone in the house 24/7 and I mean that sincerely.  I had a few teary moments with Bess and was waxing poetic with Josh a bit later but that boy is no nonsense.  He looked at me with his brown eyes and smiled sweetly and said "Bye!" in the midst of the poetic moment and walked away.  Put a damper on my sentimental mood for a bit there...

Yes, living with others does tend to point up their faults but thankfully I found that I just plain LIKE my family and their faults are few and minor and not worth complaining over.   I'm very hopeful the same is being said of me in the other house tonight. 

I found it rather daunting that one little boy could run down two grown women by day's end and make them rather glad to see their own beds once he was settled in his.  And he isn't even a child who requires lots of minding, unlike his daddy who was best described as a handful by most and warranted the observation from my Grandmama, "Really, Terri.  I do think that child just needs a pill of some sort..." lol.  Josh wasn't hyperactive, or messy or demanding much as a rule.  But molars are no picnic for a two year old boy and he let us know as much.  Young mamas the world over should get a deal less criticism from us older women once we've walked a mile in their shoes and remember from whence we came while raising our own toddlers.

Speaking of which, Katie is in for a marathon these days; Taylor has begun to walk!  Oh how I do love the current electronics that allow a long distance Gramma to see a grandchild's first (or second) steps and watch a two year old granddaughter sleepily attempt to blow out her birthday candles.  Rosie turned two last week...And then there were the lake weekend photos of the four in North Dakota that were shared very nearly instantly.  Amie could only get three to look at the camera, lol.

I watched Eat, Pray, Love Sunday afternoon and enjoyed it well enough.   I'd like to read the book, I think, which I resisted hard when it came out, for various reasons.  I do that all the time, putting off reading a book just because this one or that recommends it or it ranks high on the best seller list.  Part of my reason is my stubborn refusal to read something simply because it's popular at the moment.  I figure by the time it's made into a movie and has been reduced to being shown on television it's been about knocked down to real substance or not at that point. 

I'm not much about going the world over to seek out a spiritual experience.   I think there are opportunities enough in daily life and couldn't help but think of my recent experience with the family moving home these past eight weeks.  Truth told, it took a lot of faith and stretching of self to even half believe we might could manage it; not financially because that wasn't the concern, but personally.  It meant giving up routines and changing patterns and compromise.  It meant biting back small complaints and big irritations and struggling to remember the big picture, which was that my family needed me and I needed to make them feel at home. And it meant giving up that oh so precious bit of time I call mine when I'm free to work as long as I want, have no demands on me except those I put upon myself,  and can just relish the quiet of home.   I pray that my family felt comfortable and welcome at all times, though I'm smart enough not to ask outright, lol.

Now having said all that, I had a similar period in my life where I was in their shoes and  needed to count on family for a place to live and it was most unpleasant.    It wasn't enough to be in deep physical pain and  going through a truly bad patch and to have no home to call my own, I also had to endure it  with the daily knowledge that I was a burden and an inconvenience and I know this because I was told so repeatedly!  Ugh.  Hateful days those were and demoralizing as well.  Well I came out of it and I pray I've been better to others because of it. 

Have you ever heard things repeated that you knew were common knowledge but they had no basis in truth whatsoever?  Like for instance, that diabetics are diabetic because they had poor eating habits and never exercised?  Well that's one that I've heard often enough and having studied the matter I can tell you sincerely that few folks who have diabetes 'earned' it.  Nope.  They may have been an over eater and chosen to eat certain foods but it was likely due to the cravings the diabetic gene caused. 

Now I'll grant you, lying in the hospital, I thought back over my days as a compulsive eater and though I was eating far more healthy foods, I thought "Oh you brought this on all those years ago and now you shall pay the piper ol' girl."  And then I started to study diabetes II and discovered that there were many nutritionists who had the same idea.  "You brought it on yourself!"  But then I stumbled upon an article written by a doctor who stated that there is a genome that pre-determines who will have Diabetes and who won't.  And had I not quit that compulsive eating habit I probably would still have been diagnosed with it, only a whole lot sooner than I was.  I am very fortunate that I happen to have found the right combination of carbs/proteins/fats and supplements/medications that work for ME.  But not everyone responds the same to the same treatments.  You have to really work it all out for yourself and if you're blessed as I was, you have a doctor who is more than willing to work with you and a good counselor who explains diet to you and you can shut out all those horrid doctors that tell you all of the worst case scenarios of amputations and heart disease and kidney failure and insist you go on three forms of insulin NOW when what you really need is to know where you are at that very moment and not ten years down the road...I digress only a little here, because that's something else that we're seldom told: Diabetes is PROGRESSIVE and rarely are we in dire health when we're first diagnosed unless we've been resisting the obvious far too long.

Anyway, this came up the other night as Bess and I were talking and she mentioned someone she knew who has an overeating issue and said "and will probably get diabetes because of it!"  Well, I took no offense, but I did stop her and educate her on why some have diabetes and some don't and reminded her that only about half of the folks who have diabetes are even overweight.  The rest are either normal weight or severely underweight.

And then I shared with her that in my current reading I've discovered that vitamin D deficiency is also often found in those who have diabetes and that deficiency increases the risk of being diagnosed with diabetes by 30%...and what's more Vitamin D deficiency has been linked to thyroid issues as well.  All that sun screen we've been urged to slather upon us for years now and all that screeching to avoid the sun at all costs is doing things to our body that God never intended.  I'm right back to Granny's advice:  everything in moderation.   She worked outdoors every day she could but she always wore lightweight, light colored clothing in the sun, with long sleeves and long pants and a big straw hat.  She did that to protect her skin but she also spent a few minutes early each morning sitting on her front porch facing the sun...minus all that extra covering up and just wearing her usual house clothes.  A little sun is good for you. 

Anyway there's that bit of a long tale to say that no one brings Diabetes upon his own head but they can help it along if they have the predisposition to have it in the first place.  There are just loads of people who may well eat poorly, never exercise and be mighty overweight and never have diabetes.  It's true.  No justice as they say, lol.

The other story I keep hearing repeated that I am sick to death of:  "It costs too much to buy good foods and all those not good foods are so much cheaper."  Usually that little ditty comes from people who  have never in this lifetime had to live on a really low food budget and had to feed a family.  I will tell you rather quickly that you can buy a 5 ounce bag of potato chips for $2.49 and a ten pound bag of potatoes for the same price and the ten pounds of potatoes wins hand down! I like potato chips.  That bag of chips isn't going to make more than a snack for five, but those potatoes can be used for a week.  A head of lettuce may not be the most filling food you can buy for the money but you can't beat good canned foods bought on sale for an inexpensive food.  Ditto for a big jar of applesauce, etc.  Frozen pizza?  I can make one from scratch for the price of a cheap frozen pizza and my family was a lot better satisfied.  They ate oatmeal and rice as their breakfast cereals.  Peanut butter and jelly made a great sandwich filler and was a heap cheaper than hot pockets or drive thru burgers or bologna either....

And do you know what those same folks are REALLY saying?  It takes too much time to prepare the good foods and I want instant gratification....Because it takes seconds to open a bag of chips but it take 10 minutes to prepare a potato in the microwave.  And heaven knows we don't want to wait ten minutes to eat a food when that one is readily accessible...Piffle and Pfft!

So yeah, I'm about tired of that little bit of 'truth' that isn't true but keeps being pushed about.

I got busy after the family left on Sunday and cleaned up the guest room.  On Monday I  tossed the slipcovers into the wash and then worked on the pantry and freezer in the back.  I made good progress on my goals list and confess that having my home back in order pleases me.  I find it funny that one of my current books is  The I Hate To Housekeep Book by Peg Bracken.  I have to confess, I don't mind it a bit! 

That bit of time spent keeping up with Josh and ignoring the house has proven profitable because I'm seeing things with 'new eyes' again and noticing lots of little things I've missed over the last few weeks.  I've also seen pieces in my home that I am sure will work better in other areas.  I've had occasion to note things that weren't working out well at all and noted small inexpensive things that might be added to improve the livability of our space.  I needed that break, I think, from working on the house so that I could see it more clearly.  And there's something to be said for keeping up with basic housekeeping methods even if the deeper cleaning ones must be let go.  The house held up well enough but I like it better when it's spic and span. 

Of course that's relative because now the guest room is piled a mile high with things meant to go out to the shed, or put away in spots I can't quite get to at the moment because they are piled high as well...Oh it's a fruit basket turnover but the main rooms are neat and nice.  However, given our recent spate of houseguests this year, I really ought to get that guest room sorted out post haste!  I can't imagine who might come to stay next but someone will.  I just feel it...

Now dears, I shall end.  It's been a short chat perhaps but it's a chat.  There's been a shower or two and it's not relieved the heat a whit...It's surely summer time!  Talk to you again soon...


Anonymous said...

I agree with everything you said about diabetes and I appreciate your post. It comes in a most timely manner for me. I do hear people blaming diabetics for their disease, and it is disheartening. Of course, I do not argue with them because I do not believe that I can change anyone's mind, and it would look self serving.

Ginny G.

Sew Blessed Maw [Judy] said...

Terri, I enjoyed the chat..
So happy that you are getting the house back in order/ and as you said, Having the time to look around, and see the little things you can do to make it more serviceable to your needs. and having all the lovely memories of Josh and parents.
also thank you for the diabetic talk.. I am pre-diabetic, take metformin, and watch my blood sugar, and hate the lectures I get --- 1- it is because you eat so many sweets 2- if you eat healthy, you wouldn't have this trouble.

Have a great week, and don't over do..

susie @ persimmon moon cottage said...

I agree with so much that you wrote about diabetes. The specialist I have now keeps trying to get me to use new meds. I do use one of the once a day insulins, and feel that the results are good, and are even better when I am more careful with my diet. Now he wants me to try some new pills that according to what I read in the information about them often cause yeast infections, and urinary tract infections, because of the way they work through the kidneys and send more sugar out through the urinary tract system. I've never been prone to those problems and really don't want to start having then at the age I am now (62) because of some medicine. When I mentioned I wanted to research more about them before taking them he said, why not just try them, I might like them. Like they were a breakfast cereal or shampoo or something. The day I don't investigate medicines before I take them, is the day that I will just give up on it all. It is starting to seem like no matter what meds I take, there are always some more that they want me to try. I wonder if this scenario would be the same if we didn't have good insurance. Maybe so, because many of these medications have company sponsored programs that provide the medicine at lower cost currently. I still haven't tried those samples he gave me, and later this week I have an appointment there. I'm nervous about what I will say when I go in. Makes me feel like a little kid in school, with an "ummmmm, you're going to be in trouble" session hanging over my head, even though I know that is stupid, since I am paying the doctor's salary (with a lot of help from our insurance). I guess I will just tell him I do not want to take that medicine. He's a very good doctor, with really nice efficient office staff. I hope I can work something out there.
Wish me well.

My house needs a good tidying. Unless plans get changed, our son will be here in the States in July and will be home on Leave for a few days. I can't wait to see him. It's been more than a year since we have seen him. It's when he leaves again that is harder for me than I would have ever imagined.

Your posts always inspire and inform me. Thank you.

Lana said...

You are to be congratulated on your lovely attitude and welcoming manner toward your kids. I am guilty of not always having been so at times.

I am here to tell everyone that you can eat a very good whole foods diet on very little. I often only spend 150 to 200 dollars a month and we eat tons of produce and often organic and good lean protein. Cooking does not have to be a chore and scratch often takes,the same or less time than convenience foods.

My study of alternative medicine and kinesiology has taught me that diabetes has a connection to infection in the kidneys and infections are often genetic. So many Americans have almost no kidney function due to infection and just miscellaneous junk in the kidneys. It will not treat infection but an easy effective way to clean up the kidneys is a drop of lemon essential oil on each kidney at bedtime for 30 days.

Mable Hastings said...

I have two comments about your column today: I was seriously overweight and became diabetic. My sister, who is underweight, also became diabetic. When I talked to my doctor, he said, "Well, of course. There is a genetic predisposition to diabetes. YOu can do all the 'right' things and still become diabetic, while others at 500 pounds never become diabetic." And even if we did "cause" it, my feeling is that we all have different bad habits, such as smoking, drinking, and so on. Are we going to shame and deny treatment to those with lung cancer or alcoholism? A little grace and compassion towards ourselves and others would go a long way to making life a lot more pleasant for all of us.

Second, I finally read Love, Eat, Pray and hated it. I seldom stop after a few chapters of a book, but I found her book so self-absorbed and congratulatory that I could not abide it. And then yesterday I read that she and the husband she ended up with are divorcing. I am a bit ashamed to say that I felt a moment of triumph that her pabulum advice apparently did not work on herself. I try not to be so judgmental, but apparently I have not conquered that personality defect.

I always enjoy reading your posts.

Anonymous said...

I have been type 2 Diabetic for 16 years. It has stayed under control fortunately. I try to do all the "right" things, walking every day, eating properly and weight control. Many years ago when my son was born they were warning then that having a large baby over 9 pounds was a good indicator that you might become diabetic later in life. Perhaps, if I had developed a really regimented lifestyle then I might have avoided having it. Perhaps not. A year or so before my brother found out he was diabetic. We really thought it was strange that it should happen to both of us. He was talking to an older cousin one day and she told him that her mom had died when our cousin was just young from diabetes. This was many, many, years ago. I had 2 other aunts who died young. We were probably predisposed to be in diabetic because of our heritage and didn't even know. This could be the case with many people, but I do know there are a lot of theories out there from a virus, to heredity, to unhealthy habits, but no one really knows. I just feel blessed that I have avoided implications because I know there are many. It sure doesn't pay to beat yourself up as to why, but just make each day as healthy as you can,not only because of diabetes but so many other diseases that are associated with lifestyle.Gramma D

Colleen Gold said...

My husband and youngest dd are diabetic, my other 2 are pre diabetic. So it does run in families. I'm overweight and my numbers are good. I want to warn all to be careful with arthritis & diabetic medicine. It can & often does cause kidney damage. My husband is in stage 3 & if you think a diabetic diet is hard try a rally low salt one. I am back to NO convenience foods and all thing from scratch. Spices are my friends

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