Happy 25th! How We Met

I thought in honor of my 25th anniversary I'd share our story of how we met.  I think it's rather romantic.  I don't think I've ever shared that story on this blog before so I hope you all enjoy it.



In 1983 my ex-husband and I moved from Andersonville, Georgia to a little town nearer his work place.  John and his father were locksmiths and they lived just 2 and 3 houses above me.  My ex had a truck that needed to be re-keyed and asked me to call John.  I barely spoke to him that day.  He tells others that he was just chatting away to me and turned around and I was gone. I was shy and didn't want to just hang over him while he was working.  I was pretty quick to run back in my house!

The next time I saw John I was visiting our local library in the next town across the river.  I loved our old librarian who was quite a talker, a writer, and a reader.  That particular morning, John came in carrying a guitar and sat down and started playing.  I was so impressed by him especially when the librarian told me he wrote the song he was playing.  I didn't hang around that time either, at least not long enough to speak to him.

And so it went for about 13 years.  Nodding acquaintances but that was about it.

Then came the day I was hit by the drunk driver on my way to work.  John worked as maintenance man at the hospital and it being a small town hospital he was often called upon to act as orderly if a patient needed lifting.  I couldn't move due to the broken collar bone and other injuries so he was called to the ER and then into X-Ray to help position me.  It hurt to be moved, no kidding, it hurt!  But each time they had to move me, John would rattle off some silly joke or say something funny and I'd end up giggling through my pain.   I was moved to a larger hospital later that afternoon and then into a physical rehab hospital after that.  I wouldn't see John again for about a year.  And when I did we were right back to the 'nodding acquaintance status'.

About 2 weeks after I had Katie, a dear friend and co-worker called me at home.  She chatted about this and that and then she said a quietly, "Did you know John C. is getting a divorce?  He's soooo nice....and you're soooo nice...."  I quickly ended the conversation, hung up the phone and sat there, shaking all over.  The phone rang and another friend had called to chat.  I was snippy with her and she asked what was wrong with me anyway (we were very close friends).  "John C. is getting a divorce!"  "So...What's it to you?"  "I don't know but it scares me!"  And it did but I couldn't tell you why.

About 2 months later, a group of us were planning to travel out of town to a weekly church class for divorced Christians.  Someone suggested I ask John.  I declined.  "I think my car is pretty full now..." I said.  Two weeks later, a girl from the hospital stepped into my office.  We'd chatted often enough and I knew she was a friend of John's.  I promise you, with absolutely no intent on my own part, I heard myself ask her "Do you suppose John would be interested in this divorce class?"  I immediately slapped my hand over my mouth, and felt my eyes widen in shock.  I'm telling you all that I did not speak under my own power!  She knew as well as I that I'd had not meant to ask that question.  Her eyes gleamed and she grinned from ear to ear.  "I'll run go ask him!" and off she went.  Ten minutes later John was sitting in a chair in my office chatting away and the next thing I knew he'd invited himself over to my home that evening to further discuss the class.  I was in a nervous twitter all day long.  I dreaded the evening.  When my co-worker and neighbor dropped in, I encouraged her to stay.  John came in shortly thereafter and happily started talking to Miss Anne.   I stepped from the room to answer a phone call and when I returned there he was holding my new baby in his arms, chatting away to Miss Anne and the other children.  He looked at home.  It shook me to the core.  I was upset with him, with Miss Anne and the girl who'd been in my office.

Well, I am polite if nothing else.  Miss Anne got up and went back across the street.  Katie went to bed for the night, the children were put to bed and John stayed through it all and talked.  When he left to go home I was so relieved I could have cried.  He seemed very nice.  I didn't trust my opinion of any person at that point and certainly not of any man.   He called me the next morning at work and told me how much he'd enjoyed our conversation the evening before and suggested we have a date the next night.  I explained that I wasn't available to date, I had a baby and no sitter.  He invited himself over.  "I'll bring a steak and we'll grill," he said.  I couldn't figure out how to say "No thanks"  nicely.  I reminded myself I had 3 children and the likelihood any man would want to take on three children was slim.  I figured John wouldn't be interested for long.

He showed up the next evening with a steak, a bottle of bubbles and a video of Mary Poppins.  Good thing he brought the bubbles.  It took forever to get the charcoal grill started that night and the VCR broke before the movie got started.  Katie had colic and screamed her head off.  We didn't even get a bite to eat until nearly 10pm.  But we laughed and laughed and talked and talked.  And we've barely missed a single day laughing and talking to each other since in 27 years.

Two weeks after our first date, I was certain of how I felt about this man.  I knew I could look a lifetime and never meet a finer person, that indeed he was a rare sort.  That he might come to love me was a pie in the sky sort of dream.

He came by the next day to visit.  I went about cleaning house.  My mom came in and rudely told him to get the **** out of my house.  He laughed, told her it was nice to meet her, said he'd see me later and left.   I was angry and did the rare thing and told her it wasn't her place to ask anyone to leave my house.   That evening, a friend dropped by.  John stopped in too and she did the same thing!  Again, he laughed, was polite and excused himself.  That he bothered to return the next day was unexpected.


Six weeks after we met, we decided he'd move in.  It seemed rather silly to maintain his apartment when he spent every waking hour at my place.  We didn't date per se.  We had children to haul everywhere we went and neither of us had money enough to spare to date and pay a sitter, too.  Picnics at the park with 5 kids was as date-y as it got...And yes we did go to the class on surviving divorce but we dropped out because the pastor was adamant that there be no dating among the group members.  We were dating when we started the class but decided it was best to honor that pastor by leaving the group.


Life wasn't all easy.  We had a lot of things to work out personally and together.  We each had a family to mesh with the other.  We struggled financially.  However,  I discovered quickly enough that we might have strong disagreements but John was steady and true.  When trouble came, and in those early days it came as often as it possibly could, I wasn't in it alone.  He was always right beside me.   Our families became a true family together.  John often said Katie was the glue that held us all together because she never knew any family except our patched together one.  But you know what?  Katie was only a part of the glue.  John was the one who really brought us all together.  His heart is the biggest I've known.

I'm glad we don't have to do it all again.  Some of those hard places were just too painful even together, but given a chance for another 25 years, I'll sign up in a heartbeat.  Andy Williams' says it best in this song.

And as another song says, "This is dedicated to the one I love..."  Always.