Saturday: It's the last day of August...and that's close enough to suit me. I made Gingerbread coffee this morning. I recalled that it hadn't quite enough flavor to suit me last year, so I added a spice blend mix to the bag of ground coffee and shook it up. Yum! I savored that cup of coffee. Never mind that the humidity hit me in my face when I stepped out to feed the pets this morning while the coffee brewed. I came back indoors, snugged down in my chair and pretended September was already here.
I cannot even joke about it...I've been humming inside for the past two days, anticipating the coming month. The truth is, I feel very happy just thinking of September. It's my time of year, quite literally. And I am so looking forward to the autumn months ahead!
I plan to spend the day reading, doing genealogy and not much more than that. Happy Saturday! Happier last day of summer!
Sunday: I was much amused today to see the variety of clothing worn to church. It was almost evenly divided. About half the congregation dressed in autumn colors and about half wore white and light summer clothing or natural colored linen. I personally wore a shirt I'd bought from the summer clearance section on Cato, but it definitely looked more pumpkin than coral and it was heavier than a summer blouse.
I asked John to lunch today, my treat. He seemed to enjoy his meal. We opted for the Mexican restaurant that is so delicious and inexpensive. After we'd had lunch, he treated use to coffee. He also tipped the waitress so there you are; it was all balanced out in the end, lol.
On the way home Katie was texting me but then she called and said, "Can I please talk to Dad?" They talked for about an hour or so. Sometimes a girl doesn't need Mama, she needs her Daddy.
I had great plans when I got home but my ambitions fizzled by the time I made the bed, loaded the dishwasher and did the dishes, folded laundry and hung up my clothes. No shame. It's a holiday weekend and I might as well not bust my bottom.
I plowed through the book I was reading yesterday, Poinciana by Phyllis A. Whitney. I was three chapters from the end when I went to bed last night, quite reluctantly, but I knew that reading those three chapters would keep me up entirely too late. So, I hurried through getting ready this morning and read the last three chapters while I drank my coffee, lol. I wanted to see how that book turned out.
If this sounds like I really enjoyed the book, I will not say I did. The characters overall were a little hateful and I have little patience with people who are mean for the sake of being mean. The character I distrusted the most ended up being the culprit, but the wrap-up of the mysteries and such was most unsatisfactorily done. When I was finished with the book this morning, I felt a bit like throwing the book across the room.
I will say this...the book takes place in Palm Beach, and I recognized many of the street and location names from John reminiscing about growing up in West Palm Beach...and I genuinely did not realize the book was written in 1941 until last night. I kept thinking it was a more modern-day book except for the mention of tape-recorded music...So there's that.
Monday: I made up my mind I wouldn't be laboring on this Labor Day. So, I kept things very easy. Easy meals, and easy work. Just enough to keep the house looking nice.
Katie brought Caleb over early. It was so warm outdoors, but he loves the freedom of being able to walk in and out of the house as he chooses. He commandeered my small shovel and told me that tomorrow he's going to dig. I told him ok. You can dig all you like tomorrow.
He's not been here in so long that he can't make up his mind what it is he wants to play with, so everything has come out of the toy boxes, the treasure box, the bucket of cars outdoors, the chalk box. A few times I had to remind him to clean up some of his messes which he's done with reasonably good results.
Right now, he's still awake, though he ought to be asleep. He spoke to his Mama earlier to tell her good night but he's still playing in the room, albeit very quietly. I assume he'll settle down eventually...
Tuesday: I cannot even pretend I got much done today. With Caleb here, life is different. He spent lots of time outdoors. His big deal today was to go out and use the little shovel and 'dig'. He was all about the dig. In the end, he barely scratched the surface anywhere, but he had the shovel and that suited him just fine.
It was a joy to see him running around the house and up and down the driveway. It was a joy to hear him running in and out of the house. He was pretty good overall. I wisely tackled homework while he was sitting at the table waiting on breakfast. I don't think he'd have done it at any other time! He was too busy.
I didn't cook meals today. I pulled things from the freezer and heated those things up. I made the bed, I loaded the dishwasher, I filled one raised bed planter. We're supposed to get rain, and I thought it would be nice if I had seeds in the dirt when the rain comes along. I didn't get to plant today but I'll do my best to get something planted tomorrow.
Cody came to pick Caleb up. He took home the few dinners I had for Katie's freezer.
Katie was at the hospital getting an iron infusion. So far, we're still looking at next Tuesday for Henry to arrive...
Tuesday: I've no idea why I'm lacking in ambition. I was chomping at the bits yesterday because I wanted to get things done, but Caleb wanted me where he could see me while he played. After I had a tussle with him over the wagon of compost I was trying to put on a raised bed (he wanted to pull it all around the house. I wanted it on the patio), I decided it wasn't worth the fuss to try and work since he was going to have to help me. I settled myself in a chair and though I felt antsy, there I stayed watching him.
Today? I have NO desire to do a blessed thing. Go figure.
John made our bed, including putting the pillow shams and throw pillows on the bed. Usually he'll skip that step, lol. Then he vacuumed the main room deeply, getting under and behind the furniture. Of course, he didn't pull out the buffet, but I'll get to that. He worries more about what's under chairs and tables in the living room than he does the other pieces of the dining room and entry.
For myself, I just puttered around cleaning up the kitchen, wiping down counters and tables, unloading the dishwasher, and generally picking up.
The weather is so nice outdoors! It's been a very breezy morning, but the air is soft thanks to lower humidity. The AC is cutting on and off and not running endlessly as it will do when it's 100F or more. It's meant to go even lower by the weekend. That would be lovely! We have eaten store bought bread. Even on sale, it's $2.50 a loaf. I doubt I spend $5 in two months when I make my own.
I find myself a little anxious today. It really started last night. I know it's everything to do with us having so much ahead with the grandchildren. On Friday, we have to be up super early and leave home to go to Caleb's school for Grits with Grandparents. When we're done there, we have time to grab lunch then head to Isaac and Millie's school for their Grandparents' Day. The pressure is always on from the teachers for us to take the kids home (Not just US but all of the grandparents who come to visit) and this year they've set the time at 1-2 pm right at the end of the day. However, we don't have car seats. It's always hard to have the kids whining or out and out crying. Fortunately, they've only minutes to wait this year until the bus arrives to take them home anyway.
I'll have Caleb most of next week. Katie's C-Section is scheduled for 7am on Tuesday morning. Katie and I have a strategy to try and keep things as low anxiety for him as possible. For one thing, she hopes to be free of IVs and such when she sees him for the first time and she's going to request that the nurses not visit during that time to check her incision or do massage. We'll do carefully angled phone calls. I'll take him home the moment she gets released which may be Thursday if everything goes well and certainly no later than Friday.
Next Friday, I am supposed to take Josh out to lunch, since we had a schedule conflict with his and Caleb's school schedule for Grandparents Day. If Caleb is still here, I'll just leave him with John while I take Josh to lunch.
Then next Saturday and Sunday we will be picking up Taylor and taking her back.
So, we will be playing catch-up on Saturday and Sunday this weekend trying to get things done for the following week. I hope to have a menu of easy meals planned and snacks too because Caleb is in a growth spurt, and he needs to have snacks handy. Katie keeps them where he can help himself at home. I'll say this for Katie, she's always let him snack as he chooses from the time he discovered where she kept his food items as a baby onwards. He's never been a wasteful child. If he gets a snack, he eats it and he doesn't eat mindlessly nor out of boredom.
I was thinking about this approach yesterday when he was reaching in the cabinet to get juice, or an apple, etc. on his own and I realized that she's pretty much helped him have a level of independence that many children his age doesn't have. If worse comes to worse and she were ill and home alone with him, he could easily keep himself fed and 'hydrated' as he says.
I'm not saying he wouldn't get in a mess if unsupervised because he most certainly will like any other 4- or 5-year-old child. He can't be left totally alone. But he can do a few things on his own.
Which reminds me that not too long ago we were watching a video of a child in India who was making breakfast over an open fire. He couldn't have been much older than Caleb if that old and he was feeding his younger siblings...It blew my mind. I always thought Mama teaching me to cook at 7 was a bit early. By the time I was 10 though I could make a meal from scratch on my own with her menu and by age 11, I was planning the menus from what we had on hand and putting food on the table three times a day during the summer.
later: Katie texted me this evening that a school in the town where Taylor lives had a shooting. Taylor and her stepbrother and stepsister fortunately were on the other side of town, but Matt and his wife went to pick up all the kids immediately and took them home. The schools in that town will remain close the rest of this week.
Thursday: I roused myself today to get out of bed and get ready to go to the grocery store. The best incentive possible is that of "If not now, then when?" The truth is that while I may run into the grocery on Sunday while we're in that town to pick up on sale milk, I don't want to actually do a big shop in that store. Today I had a clear idea of what my needs were, and I pretty much stuck to that mental list and yes, it was a mental one.
It was a very pleasant experience today. Everyone was so friendly and open and smiling. I think the cooler weather (though it was only very mildly cooler since humidity increased) helped tremendously. I had a lot of really pleasant exchanges with a variety of people today.
I was thinking on my way over how lonely I am. I don't mean in my marriage with John, but lonely for human interaction that is outside of John. My kids lead busy lives, my grandchildren are in school and the friends I had over the years have died or moved far away. A few are no longer in my life because of life circumstances that just are what they are. I've met pleasant people at church but none of them wants or needs a friend in their life. They have friends already.
I've always said that one of the things about moving here was that for years now, we've gone to church out of county, we shop out of county. And because it is a small rural community, and we live in a rural area of that rural community there simply isn't a means of meeting anyone to discover if we could be friends.
Years ago, this county had a Homemaker's Club. Of course, I'm odd woman out being a homemaker and a full time one at that. Most women, even those my age, work.
At any rate, it was a pleasant outing with lots of nice friendly people who were of a mind to chat for a moment, and I really enjoyed it.
I stopped at the local diner to get hot sandwiches for mine and John's lunch. Bess is working there so I was happy to stop in and see her, but it was lunch time, and they were busy. Can't stand around chatting with a line of customers behind you!
Once home, John and I had our lunch together then he went to work mowing. I put away groceries and repackaged meats for the freezer after he left.
I hit upon the idea of wearing my new shoes around the house to break them in. This is one of my greatest faults. I get a new pair of shoes, and I don't put them on until I leave the house to go somewhere. I've two pairs of loafer type shoes now, one brown and the new black ones and I'm going to start wearing them about the house to get the soles more flexible and to learn what I might need to adjust (a pad at the left heel of both pairs of shoes). My left foot is a little shorter than my right foot so I need a wee bit of help to comfortably wear them in the future.
I definitely will not be wearing these new shoes tomorrow when we go to the schools. There's far too much walking to be done and I would be super miserable and likely end up with blisters.
Friday: Grandparents Day today at the schools...That meant getting up very early indeed to make it to Caleb's school on time. It's an hour's ride easily to get to Katie's neighborhood from our home. Knowing we had to find parking as well meant we wanted to get a little earlier start. We arrived with plenty of time to spare.
They directed all the grandparents to the cafeteria and then brought the children in. Caleb spotted us easily since we were sitting right at the door. He came bringing two books which we sat and read together. He was so antsy. He wanted to go here and go there, and it was a lot like keeping a squiggling snake in place. And then he started crying because he couldn't come home with us and then he cried because he was told he couldn't go upon stage to sing with the school singers. We told him he'd have to let his teacher know that he'd like to be part of that team of students. Of course, they were a few grades ahead of him.
I was impressed with the school staff. They have 8 grades in that school and when we mentioned Caleb's name a member of the staff said immediately, "I know who he is. I'll keep an eye out for him in the hall." And she did.
That was this morning's session. This afternoon, in less than an hour, we'll be leaving to go see Isaac and Millie at their school. I fully expect Millie will lose her mind when she realizes we aren't taking her home. I expect Isaac will do better, but we'll see. He's only just recently left off crying over things.
And when the afternoon is done, I expect we will collapse here at home. I have leftover soup that we can have for supper tonight unless John wants something different. We've been up since 5:30 this morning and we've been going, going, going all morning, and will do the same this afternoon as well.
I just want to share one more thing with you. Amie, my oldest daughter has had a heartbreaking time being a grandmother. She raised her stepchildren from 4 and 5 years of age. They both have children, but the stepdaughter put her child up for adoption, and the stepson has estranged himself from the family. Josie, Amie's first child, had also estranged herself when she was in that violent relationship. She eventually took her three children and moved a long distance away.
Knowing the heartache of having grandchildren one can't see John and I have been praying for Amie to have her grandchildren restored to her for at least three years now. Last night I got a message from Amie. It was a text full of pictures. I looked at the small children in the photos and recognized the tilt of the little girl's head. "That's Josie's children..." I texted back and Amie then sent me a photo of a smiling Josie. Her girl came home and brought the children. Not home to stay but to see her parents and siblings and to let her parents see their grandchildren. Amie said all she could do was cry. I told her to go soak up her family and I'd cry happy tears for her.
I did cry after sharing the news with John. It's not been an awful week, but I will say the last few weeks have had their stresses. We've been in deep prayer about how to proceed with some aspects of our lives in the future. We've wondered over prayers we'd been praying for years with no seeming answer. And that's just the prayers we could remember. But we both wept last night because we knew God does hear our prayers. He does answer them. His timing might not be ours but his is perfect timing. Josie had to be free of a bad relationship and a lot of manipulation and in a much healthier space in her life before she could go home.
It's a reminder that God hears.
We're off to the other school...Wish us luck with the next crying child, lol.
John is doing a service day at Church tomorrow. I'm staying home, sort of. I think I will run into town to do some local shopping. I want to get local honey, some fresh eggs from one store, and stop in at the thrift store to look for frames for my kitchen pictures. And I need to drop off my books at the library. It's the last chance I'll have of a day all to myself.
When we get back this evening, I'll figure out meals for the weekend and week ahead. And try to plan my week.
How was your week? Do you have big plans for the weekend or week ahead?
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5 comments:
I want to say first that I really enjoy reading your posts. I am hoping that when I retire I will be able to start up my own blog as sort of a diary of my life as I struggle to find balance after working all of my life.
One thing you mentioned really struck home-loneliness. It is amazing that one can be surrounded by people, whether they be church friends or work friends, and still feel alone. I have been divorced now for well over 4 years and to say my husband was my best friend would be an understatement. We did everything together. Now trying to navigate life as a single person has been so frustrating and depressing. My kids and grandkids all live in North Atlanta so I don't get to see them near as often as I would like. I don't see myself moving there as the heat and humidity just take everything out of me! Plus the cost of living within the perimeter is mind blowing.
I admire your openness in sharing your struggles, your ideas your recipes. You have such a full life! God is always good and He is faithful to lead and to bless and to uphold.
Blessings for the future.
Lisa
Lisa, Thank you. I wish you every success when you retire and hope you do find the inspiration to blog. I enjoy it.
Were it not for John I wouldn't have much interaction with anyone. He's very friendly and outgoing, talks (a LOT, lol) but is a great listener as well. I supposed I should qualify my statement of loneliness to say I miss WOMEN friends/relatives with whom I might talk about fashion, makeup, recipes, that sort of thing...hence my blog! Which is also why I share deeper struggles and feelings. I often get feedback that reassures me I'm not all alone in how I feel, such as your sharing that you've been lonely, too. Thank you for that.
And you are so right that north Atlanta area and surrounding areas there are very high priced. Katie was telling us last night that the house she and her ex-husband bought in Winder five years ago had TRIPLED in value since then...and the next owners made no improvements to the house at all!
Yes, when your grown children remove themselves from your life, they take their children with them. It's heartbreaking. My son also deprived his children of two really incredible grandparents, if I do say so myself.
What a joyful time for Amie and Josie, and for you and John being able to share in that joy with them. ♥
I know what you mean about friends. I spend a lot of time alone. Not always lonely, but sometimes.
Speaking of children learning to cook, my sister and I were cooking full meals for our family of 7 when we were about 12. We did the grocery shopping and meal planning and execution. These days I often think, "I wish I'd known to do xyz back then", or "the family would have enjoyed this dish back then". Of course we had much more limited grocery items to choose from, but I'd sure like to go back in time and shop for a week's groceries for a family of 7 for $50. Lol.
It was homecoming week for the grands, so I helped a bit with dress-up days and transportation for them. The weather was incredible, and I did work outside some, but spent much of my time reading a book. I finished that on Friday evening, so no more books, no more TV series, no more distractions until I accomplish some things around this house. Lol. I sat outside and watched hummingbirds flit about the back yard in between book pages.
This morning I went to town to watch B march in the school band for a big parade. Then Jess and I hit up the Goodwill for a minute before we left town. It's a big annual "fest" for that town, and neither of us wanted to be there. The rest of the weekend will be puttering, small tasks to work on, and getting ready for this coming week.
My best to Katie and Cody and all of you for this exciting next week! ♥
Retiring plus the pandemic really did a lot to create a sense of isolation and loneliness. I lost my dearest friend to cancer 9 years ago and I miss her each and every day. I’ve found I’ve had to work very hard at making and keeping connections. It’s still lonely, though, at times. I actually started reading your blog shortly after her death. I needed the “chit chat.” I mean that in a very positive way!
I also wanted to express my heartfelt sadness for those in Georgia. As a long time educator, I’m completely undone by these senseless acts of violence. It always punches me in the stomach … HARD!
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