Diary of a Homemaker: Times 2

 

Sunday:  I was too busy yesterday to take time to share at all.  We were up early and picked up Caleb from the house in town and brought him out here.  Caleb's third birthday is next weekend, so with Katie's permission I presented him with his birthday present. 

I've shared that his favorite program is called "Trash Truck" and I found a toy trash truck on Amazon back in the summer.  He was so thrilled with that truck.  Though it wasn't meant for it, he sat on it and rode it.  He worked the lever that lifted the cans up, he pushed the button that dumped the compactor, he carried it all over the house and pretty much stay glued to it.  He'd left all the cars and trucks he normally plays with on the octagonal table where he'd typically pull up a chair and play.  Those were ignored utterly yesterday.  Trash Truck was all he played with.

When we left to come home, the first crew of Katie's help had shown up and were loading the truck.  Her partner from work and her brother Sam were the first crew.

They worked steadily for three hours.  Katie went to pick up Steven's brother and called her dad in as reinforcement to help him so that was the second crew.  By 3pm the truck was on the road.   Katie came out here to get Caleb and gather the few food items I'd prepped for her and the load of laundry I did for her.  

I told her as they were leaving that Caleb felt a little warm.  Not hot enough to take his temperature, mind, but just warm.   As expected, when he left, he merely said "Bye!" and got in the car ready to go.  He insisted his trash truck be in the seat next to him.  He blew kisses to us. John cried.  He always does.  I held on to my tears, but it was very hard, especially when Katie teared up.

At 4:30 Katie called to say Caleb had been sick.  And while we were on the phone, he was sick again.  She was still an hour from her new place, but fortunately had extra clothes with her, so she could clean him up.   

She was blessed on arrival to discover that Steven's former boss had a crew ready to come unload the truck today.  In the meantime, there were friends of his waiting to unload beds and help set them up for the night.  

After Katie left here, I put away toys including the perpetual trucks and cars.  I realized I'd not taken one photo of Caleb all day long, though I'd wanted to get one or two.  He was just so busy and needed all my attention, so I never got a chance to take a picture.  I know Bess took one of him.  I'll have to ask her if she'll send me a copy.

Josh and Isaac came over in their Halloween costumes and distracted us while Bess got Millie's costume fixed.  Eventually Bess was finished with Millie's outfit and brought her over.  Josh and Isaac were so sweet when they saw Millie.  "Isn't she cute?!"  "Oh, look at Millie!" They were both so proud of how she looked.  Her brothers do love her so.

Her skirt had green and purple fairy lights inside.

Robin is solo-ing without Batman these days.  I told John that with black hair, Isaac made me think of one of his great uncles on his daddy's side of the family.

Josh the Storm Trooper

When they had gone home, I made us supper and we sat here in silence and ate.  I think we both just needed to hold on to our grief.  I got on Facebook for a bit, which I do about once every three weeks and was surprised to see that my second grandchild was born yesterday in the very early a.m.  He weighed 6lbs 6oz. and is healthy. Josie had sent a message and photos to John, but he'd forgotten to tell me.  I messaged her and found Josie is doing well.  We texted back and forth for a bit, and she shared loads of photos.

After everyone was gone this afternoon, John looked over at the table where the toy cars and trucks have been parked for months now and said very quietly "Did you put the cars away?"  I looked at him and said in a choked voice, "I had to.  I couldn't sit here and look at them."  We didn't say much of anything after that either except to share when Katie texted her arrival.

Today we went off to church and heard a good sermon.  We went to Kroger after.  It's only a mile from church. I decided I'm applying today's spending to our November budget.  No splurges, just basic items, sundry things with no seeming rhyme or reason to them except that I knew I was out or had just pulled the last from the pantry.  I paid half for eggs what I did a bit over a week ago at the discount store.  Mind you they were still high at $2.59/doz., but the last I purchased were over $5.  I won't discuss groceries any further. We all know what prices are in our areas and I'm not noticing any outages, etc., to mention.  At this point let's just get on with it and do our best, right?

I went into the grocery alone.  John said his leg was bothering him, but I think it's more he dislikes that store.  I'm not fond of it but I'll go where I can when I can at the moment.  That's going to change after today.  I'm hoping I can have a regular shopping day once again.  I had no list today. I had this week's sales in a list on my phone app and the coupons for the month that I wanted to use (one for a free item, some for items already on sale).  I've promised myself today that I won't shop again until I officially have a list made out.  I had an idea of what I needed but I missed a thing or two and I've no one to blame but myself.   I just haven't taken the time to make out a list.

We went by the house in town and have a plan of attack for getting it cleared up.  We plan to do it room by room, working our way through it in that manner.  I spoke with the relator again today and we hope to get it listed and do a walk through with her in a week's time.  Our purpose in going in today was to determine what we'd do first and how we'd manage.  I noted a few things that Katie had told me she wanted and somehow got missed in the packing of the truck. Those items will come here to be stored in my shed.  I was surprised to discover that the greater bulk of items are Mama's, things she left behind and Katie stored in case Mama wanted it.  

I'm not going to ask Mama's permission to get rid of those things.  Honestly, she's not missed them these four years.  They aren't family heirlooms or prized possessions just plain 'stuff'.  There is an item or two that I'd like to get for myself, like 2xs great-aunt's metal trunk. 

And then there's Katie's ex-s junk collection of things he was going to fix...I don't know how it is I've spent so much of my life cleaning up someone else's trash and junk, creating order out of the chaos others make.  

It's been very overcast and misted rain since morning but not enough to really wet anything.  The colors of the trees are outstanding.  It seems on a day like today the colors are doubly vibrant because the background is greyish.  They are enough to make you catch your breath.

Meals for the past two days: For supper for John and me, I made Cheeseburgers and Fries.

I made Chicken and Rice soup this evening.  I'd planned to make Chicken Broccoli and Rice, but I had two bowls of broth in the fridge.  It was lovely and rich and simple.

And looking over my menu for the week, I find that between lunches and supper, I've about two more menus to make.  I might be planning twice this week.

Monday:  I had a real battle with myself last night.  I was so irritable and almost angry at John every time he opened his mouth about the house in town.  We had a very mild spat.  But when we'd both hushed up and were being polite to one another once more, I knew I had to sort myself out.   So I took my journal to the bedroom after explaining to John that I was having a struggle and needed to work it out.  

Six pages later...Yes seriously.  And it all had to do with the house and my attitude towards it, towards John regarding it and a very clear look at how John had been about the house in general and I had to admit that my husband, this dear man, has never once lambasted ME over the strain and drain of the house on us physically and financially.  And more on that last bit...

I sat down and wrote out the expenses we've had, and the rent received, and we just barely didn't break even for the past two years.  This huge fear of mine that the house was going to sink us financially was not true.  I'm not saying that it didn't keep us on our toes and make us choose to do one thing when we'd rather do another, but it didn't drain us by any means.  So let me just lay that down as lie the enemy has held over me for the past two years.

Then I sorted out a few other feelings/emotions, also having nothing to do with John.  I came back and sat down with my sheets of paper and told him in far fewer words where my head had been and how tied up, I'd allowed myself to get and asked him to please accept my apology for my attitude towards him.  Then I asked him if he'd just keep working with me, because the truth is, I NEED his input.  John and I do truly think entirely differently.  I am far more organized in my thinking, but he is practical in some of his organizational ways.  I need that balance that he brings.

We slept hard this morning.  I think the rain had something to do with it.  It was more misty autumn rain, really, not true hard rain, but John said it did rain hard during the night.  I never heard it.  I never heard him until we both woke this morning and then I was truly trying to go back to sleep.  

However, I got up when he did and it's just as well.  It was past 8am.  I knew we had plans for the day and things I needed to do before our planned day.  I was being smart today!

I did my little bit of housework here.  For this week, I'm just doing routine maintenance.  I looked at my planned menu and yes, I had only two more planned meals.  I've either used the rest of the ingredients in another dish or made the menus already for us.  I took out the two meats to thaw.

I went about the house straightening and tidying.  That took about 20 minutes.  I'd done a good bit last night after supper.  Then I prepared sandwiches for our lunch today, wrapped them and put them in the fridge.

I gathered all the cleaning agents, tools and supplies I felt I'd need at the town house today.  After that I took time to make out a master list for each room in the house.    Then John got ready to go.  His first stop was at the hardware store where we picked up lightbulbs, trash bags, oven cleaner and a couple of items to make minor repairs.

Once at the house we started work in two separate areas.  He determined which room he'd begin in, and I'd already decided where I was starting last night.  2 and 1/2 hours later we had each managed to accomplish a good deal.  Not all by any means.  A home needs a deeper cleaning when it's emptied but we got rid of loads of Mama's things that have sat in the house for years now.   We carted a load of stuff up to the dumpsters and have a pile of bags meant to be taken to donate at Goodwill.

Tomorrow we will do all this again.  But today we were very well satisfied with our efforts.  Bess is going to help us for a few hours the next few days so that will be an added hand in getting the house cleaned up really well.

Supper:  Italian Pepper Steak over Rice Pilaf, Roasted Green Beans, Green Salad

Tuesday:  Sigh.  It's been a long day today.  The house is coming along.  I worked alone today, at least this morning, but a great deal was accomplished.  John created a 'drop zone' where we put all things that were being donated or kept.  And yes, they are all together, but we know what's what.  All the other things that were going to be dumped were dropped in the utility room.  That meant as I finished with a room, it was left empty and so there's a sure sign of progress behind me.

John came in about 11:30 and helped with a couple of things and then we were off to his chiropractor appointment.  Or we thought we were.  At the house next door, there's been a flatbed truck parked.  I thought it was the neighbor's from across the street.  Turns out it was the late homeowner's son.   He stopped to speak to us and told us his mother passed away at the end of September.  He has a full house of things to pack up, two stories.  Bless him!  He apparently is doing one load a day.

While John was in the chiropractor I sat in the car and rested.  He came out with the good news that his next appointment will be in two weeks.  They hope to have him down to one a month and then on an as needed basis.  I am so very grateful for how well he's doing.  He started having issues in February and frankly it feels like it's been a very long year!

 I'd asked him to take me to CVS so I could spend the expiring ECBs.  I'd looked through the ad hoping to find something we actually needed to replenish.  And I found something.  Paper products. I forgot that CVS's trick is that they only have 'sales' on those product sizes they don't stock.  18 roll packs of toilet paper for instance, but they only carry the 12 and 16 and 24 roll packages.  And no, they don't do rainchecks.  I walked over to the next aisle and found a good sale on our choice of laundry detergent.  With my ECBs I got a huge bottle for $5, total.  The size I bought usually runs $16.  

I went up to the register and an older customer (she was born in 1935...I overheard her birthdate) who was hard of hearing had a lengthy transaction.  I respectfully went on to the silly 'self-help' register.  Argh!  I started the thing up just fine.  Then I had to lay down my phone in order to continue and so I laid it on the register.  It went berserk.   The machine started talking loudly to me, which confused the older woman next to me who was having a hard time hearing anyway.  I was confused, too.  An employee came over and shut the thing down and started it over.  I scanned my coupon at the end and laid it on the register as I retrieved my debit card, anticipating that as the next step.  Well heavens help me that piece of register tape sent the darned thing berserk too!  Third time was the charm.

As I retrieved the register tape, I found there was a $5 ECBs coupon.  I went right back and picked up a large package of paper towels I'd noted was on sale.  Again, I paid about $5 in the end.  I wasn't unhappy.  And yes, I had to use the self-serve register again and it needed to be rebooted twice.  Does this really save time?  Or help in anyway?  

We got burgers.  I ate mine in the car in the parking lot.  John waited until he was driving, but he was talking to his brother at the time.  Thanksgiving came up for discussion.  It seems that George and Pilar would like to come here for Thanksgiving.  John wisely asked George to let him find out what our plans are first.  I'll say no more about that at the moment.  If I start thinking about Thanksgiving at the moment, I'll go into a state of overwhelm. I will.

We drove home and when we came to the top of the hill overlooking the river valley, John exclaimed, "Just look what a pretty view!"  We've been pointing out beautiful individual trees, but we had a view of the river Swamp and the pattern or green and reds, yellows, coppers, bronzes, maroons...Well, it truly was lovely and well worth exclaiming over.

We went back to the house.  And we worked.  It was not what I'd planned to do this afternoon.  Nevertheless, I went to work.  All told today I put in roughly 5 hours there today.  Tomorrow, we go to work on the pantry and kitchen.  I'm about a day ahead of where I thought I'd be, so it is going well.

Home...and more work.  All I wanted was a shower, coffee and nothing more.  I got the shower eventually. I made the coffee but there was no relaxing sipping of that cup.  Last night we didn't eat supper until nearly 7:30.  I was determined we'd not wait so late tonight, so I started it.  And then there was clearing up after.  

I think John felt sorry for me.  He pulled up 'Downton Abby: A New Era' this evening.  It's free on Amazon Prime just now.  I spent two blissful hours watching that and doing nothing else.  And now it's 11:15 and I'm writing out this post.  You'd think I'd be in bed by now.  I assure you I'm heading that way!

Supper:  BBQ Pork Chop, Stuffing, Mashed Potatoes, Collard Greens

Wednesday:  Such a poor night's sleep.  I dragged from bed this morning and when John asked how I was I replied "Tired!"  "Then let's just stay home."  "Nope."  Mind you all, he is all too ready to find an excuse not to go to work.  I am so close now to seeing light at the end of this project that I just want to push on and get it done. 

John's been reading the Bible to me as I eat my breakfast each morning.  I am a slow eater, let me say that first off.  I've always been a slow eater and while I don't purposely dawdle over my food, folks I eat with generally finish well before me.   So, he's taken up his Bible and read to me.   It's been rather nice.  It's led to some lovely discussions between us.  This morning after he'd read, he mentioned Martha and Mary.  And that's when I had a small revelation.

Again, I've always said that I think Martha gets a bum rap too often in commentaries and translations.  But this morning I realized that there was nothing wrong with Martha doing the work she was doing (one theory I've heard too often.  She was doing what was expected of her, what she herself felt was the right thing to do).  No, nor was there anything wrong with Mary sitting and listening.  The problem in Martha was that she got upset with Mary for choosing something different from Martha.  

Martha would have been better to just go on and work if that was what she felt led to do.  She had no business deciding that Mary was in the wrong for choosing to do something different.  I'm explaining this poorly, but I know what I'm trying to say here.  It was a reminder to me to stop being upset with people because they don't see things my way when it comes to extra duties and responsibilities.

I did minor house things this morning.  I asked John to sweep the kitchen for me at the end because I was getting into a time crunch, but he is always so willing to help if I'll just ask.

Bess helped out today.  It's a mutual help thing.  She knows I won't just ask her help, and knew full well I needed it, but she offered to help.  She asked me to consider it a love offering.  And I have. This meant that today we had three laboring away.  It made a big difference.   Bess is a worker bee in her own way.  Not my way, but in her own way.  

And you'll note that in both the two above paragraphs I mention that 'if I ask' people are willing to help.  I just don't typically ask.  That's solely upon my shoulders.  Why don't I ask?  Too often because I'm afraid that the help I ask for won't be forthcoming.  That's not saying anything about anyone just telling the truth.  Over years of time, I've grown accustomed to being told "No."  And just as when I was a child, I stopped asking because I thought I knew what the answer would be.  Call it conditioning, but it's high time I let go of that, agreed?  The present is not the past. 

John insisted we leave after I'd been working steadily for about 3 hours.  Bess stayed on and 'clocked in and out'.  I'm not that harsh a task mistress.  I trust her very well, but she wanted to be accountable.   Before we left, we three sat down and went through the house room by room in our heads and determined what tasks we want to accomplish.  All three of us contributed and each of us brought up task others weren't even thinking of (like lowering the temperature on the hot water heater). 

The house is very nearly empty.  Yes, there's a lot of stuff in an 8x5 section of the living room that are either things Katie wanted but needed us to store for her, things I found that she'd borrowed from me (great way to get them back, huh? lol) or that I wanted, or are things that are to be donated.   That's all to be sorted into two separate piles tomorrow and then we shall load up what's coming to the house, and we will stop and load as many donations into car as we can over the weekend since we can run them by the donation center on Sunday when we're in that area.  By mid-week next week, the house and yard will be empty of all the things.

John was right to push me to come home today when he did.  It's been nice to sit here and rest more or less.  I've sorted out emails and checked ads for sales and am writing so it's still work, but it's got me off my feet and allowed me to rest a bit.

Supper:  Ravioli Lasagna in the slow cooker, Colorful tossed Salad

Thursday:  I am tired.  John is tired.  Bess is tired.  We are all tired.

Today I put in about 4 hours at the house.  John, too.  I don't know just yet what Bess has done, but she might tell me.  The house is not done.  It's amazing how much cleaning there is to be done even when you think you know what needs to be done.  We're not being particular about it, but we are trying to leave the house reasonably clean.  Today I could shut the door on three bedrooms and one bath.  I expect we'll end up going over on Monday, but I know that we are now at a point where I can see the finish line ahead.  I feel like I've run a race.  Well, lol, I have!  

Never mind.  Tomorrow and this weekend, we are officially OFF.  We've been running and going for weeks now.  It's time to take a real honest to goodness break.  We're going to head to the mountain and end/begin the new season as we like: sitting on the mountain and praying about it all what's behind and what's ahead.

When we came home this afternoon, I threw lunch on a plate, very late and barely lunch at that.  Never mind.  We sat a good two hours in our chairs and didn't move.  John took a nap.  I wish I could nap but I think I'm just too overstimulated with the week's activities.

I've got supper for tonight in the oven.  I've started bread for tomorrow.  John's doing a load of laundry.  I have leftovers from last night's meal that can be dinner tomorrow night or at some point this weekend.  It's been such a long week, but that's okay.  It won't be the same next week.  

I'm going to set this up to post tomorrow afternoon, but I won't be writing tomorrow.  I hope y'all have a great weekend.  

I know I've not shared an Amazon Associate Affiliate link in a bit, and for those of you who do use you, I want to say thank you and please look at other posts where I have included it.  This week I would like to share a GoFundMe for Steven.

It was with great shock that the family discovered that the 10-day rehab situation was NOT rehab at all.  Essentially Steven filled an empty bed in an underutilized facility.  He is with his mom and cannot transfer from bed to chair or handle his self-care in any form at present.  After 60 days in hospital insurances have paid out limits.  The family needs assistance to get him the medical equipment and home care, physical therapy, etc. that he requires. 

Please pray about this and if you feel led, please donate to what I think is a worthy cause.  Thank you all!

Steven Go Fund Me