I've been thinking for quite some time that I am terribly bored (and quite possibly boring) with my current mode of posting. I'm tired of scheduled posts and I don't know how on earth you all manage to read that too long end of week post about my days. Some of you deserve medals, for sure!
I think I'd like to live up to my blog name "Journal" and write a daily entry, at least five days a week. I'll include meals I made, homey doings, thoughts I've had, goals I make, and all the usual things one might include, or at least I do, in a daily journal entry.
I'm frustrated with my own tendency to get stuck in one area. I'm all about cheap meals, or all about money or all about this or that. That's not who I am but it tends to be how I use this blog. I do more than just try to save money or make meals. I read, I work, I clean, I visit or am visited, I go places. I think a lot more than I share. And while this will never be a space where I journal things that might hurt another member of my home or social circle, I do want to show you all more of who I am.
Occasionally I may post a coffee chat or a subject specific post, but mostly I just want to journal my life. Period. Are you all okay with that?
So here goes. Let me share today.
I woke feeling headachy and tense and sat on the edge of the bed and cried before I started moving. John and I had words last night at bedtime. We fought about one thing, but I know darn well it was about another thing entirely. My error was in pointing out that I knew it was another thing. Not a wise move when a moment is already getting heated. I know this but my mouth would not shut up.
Naturally John did the irritating thing. He turned his back on me and went to sleep. And dared to snore, to boot! I lay there with my chest aching from the hiatal hernia and finally got up and made out three pages of lists of things I want to change in my home without spending a dime. About 1:30, I went back to bed and had horrible dreams, hence my further tension and headache when I woke this morning.
The morning was determined to point up my glum and gray self. Beautiful weather outdoors with a sun that shone like it was determined to make up for every gray day in February. Blue skies. Gentle cool breezes, with an occasional gust to blow you off your feet. Lovely tender green leaves and buds.
And pollen everywhere. Enough to send up clouds of dusts when I went out and started casting things over the front porch railings. Yes, over the railings. Because I've decided that after 20 years or thereabouts that I'm over the ironing board and gate on the front porch. John wisely reminded me to go take an allergy tablet when I came indoors.
Why am I stripping back my front porch? I'm ready for it to look different than it has. I'd always meant to get a baker's rack or potting table or something like that to put on the front porch, but I had the ironing board and gate and there it all stayed, year after year. Do I have a baker's rack or a potting table at present? No, I do not. However, if I empty that space up then eventually, and usually sooner rather than later, something will come along that will work and fit my budget at the same time. I just need to make the space for it.
I'm just ready for a refreshing of spaces all around. It's a new season. We've kept indoors all winter, and it was all pleasant and cozy and lovely, sort of dark and yet warm at the same time. But now it's time to lighten things up indoors and clean them up outdoors so we can enjoy our home inside and out in the months ahead. Thank goodness I did the bulk of the indoor deep cleaning in January!
I have another of those huge roasting hens in the oven. I told John if this one is as sorry and tough as the last, I will make sure to never again buy another. It doesn't have a name on the package, just blue writing that says it's a roasting hen. We bought it at Publix which is generally a good source for meats.
So, my menu tonight will be Roasted Chicken Slices with what I call Spring Salad which is a mixture of romaine, radishes, carrots, green peas, and green onions. I made my own version of White Balsamic Vinaigrette to dress the salad. I found the white balsamic vinegar at Kroger. I wish I had some tiny red potatoes to cook with butter and lemon, but I don't. That would make it a proper Spring meal in my opinion.
Today I've done more in the house than I did yesterday. I've emptied and moved the trunk from the back entry, cleaned our bathroom really well, picked up in general, and got everything off the front porch, in addition to meals and all the usual stuff.
I found a free Bible study on I Corinthians at She Reads Truth which is a good companion to my daily reading. That was a nice stumble upon yesterday. I've been consistently hanging in on reading my Bible daily. I needed this. I need this. Letting go of the head speak that kept me from picking up my Bible all these months was one of the biggest things I've done towards self-care in a long while.
Why are we so resistant to self-care? What within us insists that we are selfish if we do things that promote our wellbeing whether it's for our body, mental, or spiritual health or because something makes us feel pretty/attractive? I will be the first to hold up my hand in owning that I dislike hearing the term self-care, loathe hearing women talking about it but by the same token, I UNDERSTAND why we need to do it, I understand why we SHOULD do it. But it bothers me to hear women going on and on and on about it. Does that make sense to anyone? Am I showing my age? Is it just my hang-up?
I'm going to wind this post up. I want to get our bathroom swept and maybe do some other little something off that long list from last night. And then it will be time for our supper. We eat the last meal around 5:00-5:30 because I prefer ending my fast earlier in the day and beginning it earlier, too.
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2 comments:
Well, my dear lady, I loved the long rambling posts but I like this version too! I look forward to hearing more about your days, your thoughts, struggles, victories and blessings. And yes, I do get what you mean about making space. Funny enough, a few months ago I redid my baking cabinet and regretted not having the glass nesting mixing bowls I gave my youngest daughter years ago because I wasn't using them. But I decided, since are not spending on extras right now, that I would just be fine without any new ones. Last night I was texting with the same daughter, who is getting ready to move in a couple of weeks, and she sent me photos of things she no longer wants in case I want them. Guess what was in the photo? Those same glass bowls I gave her, along with some really nice jars and a red lidded casserole dish and some other items. Isn't that just like God?! LOL
Oh the self-care talk. Maybe I'm also showing my age but I get tired of the non-stop talk about it too. And yet, I'm the same away about neglecting myself in every way. Thanks for sharing about the bible study. I'm going to take a look on that site. I need to get some good Word in me.
Much love to you!
Terri, I’m happy to read anything you post! It will be good to hear whatever’s on your heart on any given day. I had also kind of avoided too much “self care” in the past, though cancer, two foot surgeries, and now an osteoporosis diagnosis have changed my outlook quite a bit. I’m trying to eat healthier, revise what vitamins and supplements I take, and have started weight training and resistance exercises at a gym two days a week. I guess even at 65, it’s never too late!
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