...I've been busy in-doing. Taking down pictures and removing books, emptying cabinets and bookshelves. Even though we have not yet received a quote on the flooring work we want to have done, I have been removing things from the three rooms. It is an act of faith on my part to do this. It's been a little unsettling; a bit like packing up to move without knowing just where we're headed. And a little exciting; a bit like clearing the decks so that something fresh and wonderful can take it's place. It is my hopes it's new flooring but at the very least a new and more artful arrangement of things perhaps?
I have been editing things as I remove them. I've said I was all done with the decluttering but I think I was wrong. Very wrong. I've looked long and hard at things I've removed, at empty pieces of furniture even and asked myself "Do I want this any longer? Does this serve the purpose it's meant to serve? Is it necessary? Is it what I want?" Some pieces have been with me for almost 40 years but maybe it's time to let them go. Or at least to change where and how I've utilized them. It's unsettling. It's exciting. It's hard.
Our home here has been a transient thing. We moved in here with three children and it does seem we've had more than the usual leave takings and home comings. Amie moved out. JD moved in. JD moved out. Sam moved out. Sam moved in. Sam moved out. Katie moved out. Most recently Sam and family moved in and out again about 8 weeks later. John's job has been the same job but he's changed shifts four times over the 20 years we've been here. We've added family members and lost some of them. In essence: we've lived perfectly normal lives in our home but each change has changed us and therefore our home has changed with it. And yet...
And yet, there were many things that didn't change. Books remained upon shelves, things inside cabinets and drawers might have shifted places but they've been in this house since the beginning days. Now they are being moved out and that makes this all feel a bit different. I've noted that once you move things you've held onto for a long time you seldom return them to their former place, if you return them at all. Letting go, even partially, often means letting go entirely when it's all said and done.
Maybe having just emptied the contents of the booth this seems like one more long goodbye of some sort. I can't really explain it rightly but I know what I'm feeling as difficult as it is to explain.
I shall say this sincerely, many and many of you have mentioned decreasing your household goods, or downsizing even as you are building up your pantries. Whether it's a rite of passage at this stage of life or simply a feeling that we all need to lighten up and decrease our loads, let go of stuff holding us down or back from something or in order to better hunker down and weather a storm, I don't know. It just feels like major changes ahead in some way and I think that's what makes me feel a little anxious about all these changes. And yet, somewhere deep within me, I truly believe it's all for the best and the bettering of myself.
...I plan meals for the week:
Mayonnaise Roasted Turkey Breast, Succotash, Wedge Salad with French Dressing
Turkey Sandwiches, Fruit, Chips
Salisbury Steak with Mashed Potatoes, Green Beans, Salad
on my own
Turkey Tettrazini, Salad, Rolls
deli lunch
Turkey Wild Rice Soup, Crackers, Baked Apples
...I plan my work week:
Emptying bookcases, china cabinets, taking down pictures and finding places to store it all.
Clean the outside of the back porch railings
IF jobs: If I can buy paint and primer I'll finish the dining chairs (x1) and if I can buy landscape block and mulch I'll finish that one flower bed.
...I plan my leisure:
I think this weekend I'm going to take a break from the computer. I'm reading two really good books, have a big Sudoko Challenger puzzle I'm working on, and there's loads of genealogy notes to tend to. I'm having a bit of trouble with anxiety at the moment, so I'm going to avoid politics, murder mysteries as much as possible through out the week and try to find quiet spaces to journal. I need that sort of break each day.
Well I almost finished one book, completed one puzzle and nearly another, slept like a rock and walked away from the murder programs when they came on TV...I'll try to keep this up all week long...I still have genealogy notes to hide in...Oh and I got my Home Notebook re-done this week end. I don't have printer ink to print out some of the pages I'd like to add to it but I've got a new cover, new dividers and I'm thinking I'll tackle the check ledger next. Absolutely no need for that to be ugly...or the bill box either for that matter...Creative work on the necessary stuff.
Well I almost finished one book, completed one puzzle and nearly another, slept like a rock and walked away from the murder programs when they came on TV...I'll try to keep this up all week long...I still have genealogy notes to hide in...Oh and I got my Home Notebook re-done this week end. I don't have printer ink to print out some of the pages I'd like to add to it but I've got a new cover, new dividers and I'm thinking I'll tackle the check ledger next. Absolutely no need for that to be ugly...or the bill box either for that matter...Creative work on the necessary stuff.
6 comments:
Terri, I have also been avoiding lots of the more disturbing things for a few weeks. I call it "coming out from the dark side". As a Criminology major in college, I can easily get sucked in to books, shows, etc.about dark things. When I feel my mood changing or start feeling anxious, I step away, do puzzles, and read Nancy Drews from my childhood. Still mysteries, but light. Plus, I obviously can't remember who dunnit from decades ago!
Since our son is getting married in just 3 weeks and we moved him out into his new home lasts weekend, my husband and I have continued to deep clean and declutter one area at a time. It is hard, like you say, but so freeing at the same time. During all of this we have just about finished clearing out my parents home as we prepare to put it on the market--now that has been hard! You can't keep everything and boy did my mama have a LOT of stuff!!
I too take breaks from the news, politics, "dark" subjects and shows along with technology from time to time. When things get crazy I just can't handle the darkness and prefer to throw myself into just caring for myself and my family. It does us all good.
I can see how preparing for new flooring would be overwhelming. We are looking at getting new carpet in the next two years. Just the thought of packing everything up and finding a spot to store things is enough to give me a headache!
I have also taken a step back from politics and the news. Many tell me I can't live in a cave. I have no intention of that but I also can't let the negativity in constantly. Especially with little ears in my home.
We put off new flooring for way too many years because of the thought of having to move everything. I did not realize that for some small fees they would take care of moving furniture and appliances and even taking out toilets and reinstalling them in the process. I am so glad it is done! We still need to wash all the bedding and remake 7 beds but other than that we are pretty much resettled. It gave us the chance to switch out the cribs in the grandchildren's room and replace a worn out mattress, too. All good things.
Hubby had to work 4 hours yesterday so he will get comp time and be able to take off at noon on Friday. WOOHOO!! This week we also have the Thursday night concert series on the lawn at the library. I am thinking that maybe we will take a trip up to the NC mountains for breakfast on Saturday if hubby can mow grass on Friday afternoon. We go about twice a year and eat at Wade's Grill in Saluda and then pop into the grocery next door for 2 pounds of their homemade Charlie's sausage that they also serve at the restaurant. Yum. We freeze the sausage in patties and dole it out over several weeks.
Menus-S-roast beef and potatoes and carrots with gravy, peas, Angel biscuits
M-chicken broccoli pie, salad, Angel biscuits
T-beef stew from Sunday's planned leftovers, sliced tomatoes and cucumbers, Angel biscuits
W-leftover chicken broccoli pie, salad, more Angel biscuits if the dough lasts that long
TR-another free large sandwich with any purchase on the McD's app this week so Artisan grilled chicken sandwiches will be free and we will purchase 2 side salads at $1 each and drink water on the way to the concert series
F-grilled steaks, baked potatoes, salad, grilled garlic bread
S-homemade pizza, carrots and Ranch dip
A major point of our pastor's sermon yesterday was that 'God loves me.' ME!!! This is something that we forget and is behind depression, thinking bad of ourselves and so much more. That was so huge for me. Anyone wanting to listen to it can find it at hopepoint.org under Listen and Read.
Have a good week y'all!
Hi Terri,
Thank-you for sharing so much of your life, your amazing insights and your wisdom. I very much look forward to each new post and have had a wonderful time reading all your earlier ones.
Best wishes from Australia,
Jo
Your menu sounds amazing for the week.
I have been slowly, ever so slowly, undoing but I'm not in a huge hurry and I keep stalling out.
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