Iced Tea Chat: Autumn, Where Art Thou?

It's not cool outdoors, not in the least.  The gnats will drive you pure distracted as well, so you might just as well come on inside and let's have an iced tea chat.

No cookies but a chocolate cake.  I don't know why I baked a chocolate cake except suddenly I could taste chocolate cake.  I typically don't make chocolate cakes because I haven't found a good recipe for one.  I've tried a new recipe this time.  We'll see.  I'm letting the layers cool and then I'll fill them with vanilla buttercream frosting.   I've promised a baking to someone as a thank you gift for a kindness and then John has asked for his favorite cookies, as well.  His are the no baking required stove top cookies and as long as this heat is to continue I'd say his odds of having his favorite cookies are quite good!   I want to bake.  Autumn lends itself to baking I think and to slow simmering stews and pot roasts and heartier meals.  Don't you think so, too?  The trouble is the weather isn't cooperating in the least! 

The silly weather man keeps saying we're 'heading for a cool down'...Humph!  His idea of a  cool down and mine are two different things, let me tell you.  His cool down is from mid 90's to 89-ish...My idea of a cool down is from mid 90's to mid 70's!  I want a noticeably cooler bit of air to settle upon us but so far no luck.  Isn't it a shame that the weather was actually cooler and more pleasant during the week preceding and following  Hurricane Irma?  Since then it's been misery.  Not one autumn like sigh of wind.  Not one clear cool morning to even hint the season has arrived.  I'm so done with summer at this point.  I told John the other morning that I really don't much like October.  It's just a month that frustrates me mightily.

For all my fussing, I must say that the sunsets and sunrises this time of year are well worth seeing.  The fog turned all pink around the house yesterday morning during sunrise.  And last evening the sky was deep lilac and pink.   It even turned the white sheers in the window a soft pink.  Just lovely!

Now John differs with me on this.  Heat or not, he loves October.  He claims it is his most favorite of months and he certainly does tend to act more lighthearted and convinced of the goodness of the month  despite the earlier darkness which he dislikes.   I always want to love October, but I'm skeptical of it.   Sure there are lovely fields of wild flowers and cotton and peanuts are ready for harvest and hay bales dot meadows.  Sure the skies are bluer than blue and the leaves hint of color to come.  But it's HOT.  I think I decided a few years ago that it was November that was MY favorite month because it was all the things I wanted October to be but wasn't.

The combination of heat and an illness took a big toll on me earlier this week.  We'd planned out our fair day months ago, even held back some money from our vacation to cover the cost of our day out with a nice dinner to follow.  I woke not feeling terribly well but was hopeful that it would pass.  John has this saying that annoys me no end when something is ailing: "Make like circus folk and walk it off..."   Well I just plain didn't feel well.  I even asked him if he was sure he wanted to go to the fair that day.  Yes, I knew it was Patriots Day and we could go in for free but he had worked the night before...No, he assured me he was going to go to the fair as planned.  I said to myself, "I'll try to just walk it off, then..."  

I made it about 2 miles and then I was done.   My hands and wrists had gone numb.  I was having trouble catching my breath and sweating mightily and weak as a newborn kitten.  I urged John to go on and visit the model home we'd walked to and told him I'd be inside in a bit.  He was concerned but took me at my word.  I did attempt to go inside.  I walked over to the steps and tried to lift my foot and couldn't.  I have never felt that weak, not in over two years when I had that big health scare.  And then I got truly scared because I guess somewhere at the back of mind I worry that same thing might happen all over again.  I managed to go back to the bench and sit down and sobbed a little when no one was passing by.  When John came out of the house I knew I was never making it back up that fairway to the gates and out to the car.  I told him he'd best find me a ride.  Then he got scared.

I ended up in the EMS courtesy center lying upon a cold mattress that I would have appreciated a great deal more had I been able to fight off the nausea I felt long enough to think straight.   Let me just say that one of those things would be hot flash heaven if we could get our hands on it! The EMTs did an EKG and checked O2 saturation and took my blood pressure and checked my blood sugar. My blood pressure was a tiny bit high.  They were pretty sure it was the heat and stress I'd felt.  I was terribly weak but I was so relieved to know I hadn't any thing seemingly serious going on.  

My blood sugar was quite high for me and considering the number of hours since breakfast and the walking I'd done and that I'd taken medication early in the day,  it should have been lower.  I was pretty sure at that point I had a virus that was wreaking havoc on me.  I was given a police cart ride out to the car.  I was well and truly sick on the way.  Thank goodness they'd noted my green gilled look in the EMS building when I attempted to sit up and handed me a bag to use.   I was so sick I didn't even have time to feel embarrassed at the wonderful view I made for others as I was sitting on back of that cart.

And so ended our short lived and free visit to the fair.  Sigh.   John forced me to drink water and Gatorade and gave me an anti nausea medication and we came home as full of pocket as we were when we left, but considerably deflated of spirit.  

John's final words of advice made me laugh despite my feeling so very ill.  He assured me I wasn't to forgo telling him if I felt unwell in the future and then he said "And remember.  You're not circus folk...You can't walk it off!"  Well!  There's a turn around bit of advice, lol.

The one thing I struggle with about diabetes is to know what to eat when ill in order to control blood sugars.  My blood sugar was high but I also knew that it could go higher still if I didn't eat...and it might even plunge to dangerous lows quite suddenly, as well.  It's one of those conundrums of the disease.   Well I was too sick to look anything up when I came home and too sick to eat, as well.  John insisted I have a bit of Sprite.  I had about 4 ounces overall.  He kept pushing fluids at me and I had an IV of normal saline all of which helped bring the blood sugars on the downward end of the scale towards what is normal for me once more.  A little later he made me a scrambled egg and gave me a dry piece of toast.  I managed to get that down and keep it there.

I have since read at various sites and there's so much conflicting information out there.  I do recall reading in a publication given me at the hospital that I was  to use  regular gelatin and regular soda but in moderation if a virus like this occurred.   Followed by a day of BRATY diet (Banana, Rice, Applesauce, Toast, Yogurt) to settle the stomach fully would be commonsense but some people on a FAQ board went nuts over the idea of it.  Of course as a diabetic, I'd eat unsweetened applesauce and yogurt and whole grain rice and toast and since these things typically don't adversely affect my blood sugar levels I think it would be sensible.  The yogurt has the protein required to balance the carbohydrates in the other foods.  Well, I hadn't any of the necessary things on hand except the toast and yogurt.  I shall be remedying that fact when I get a chance to go grocery shopping.  Time to set up the 'sick pantry' once more, I think. later note:  I found this site...scroll down to the part that says 'eating and drinking' and note all the full sugar regular items it mentions a diabetic ought to have during an illness.   It does go on to say further down that diet drinks or sugar free items are preferable with HIGH blood sugar readings.  This same site also explains that it's normal for a body under stress to increase blood sugar as the illness comes on.  My numbers never rose over 180 and soon headed back down, so I was not in the dangerous area of highs.

What is the sick pantry?  I used to keep a shelf with things like chicken soup or canned broth, gelatin, applesauce, rice, saltines, ginger ale or sprite, an electrolyte drink (even an electrolyte water is fine!), tissues, and simple medications that might be needed with cold or virus.  I haven't kept one since the children left home and I guess it's time to reinstate it since I've been sick twice now in two months time!  And this time I'll add an instruction sheet for myself as soon as I can find it once more.

All that aside, my real failures on Monday were manifold.  I didn't feel good.  I didn't tell John I wasn't feeling well, either.  I never should have pushed myself to go in that sort of heat.  In the end I overstressed my body and it's not the virus that's kept me feeling less than perky but the after effects of dehydration.  

I didn't drink enough water because I was already feeling full and unwell and I didn't want to add to the fullness I felt.   Normally I drink loads of water and always have...but not this day.  And for the record, I'm shocked at how quickly one can deplete the reserves we have when the right combination of events occurs aka virus and sweating and high heat/humidity. 

I didn't have any medication with me, even though I take only Metformin.  I should have had my medicine with me.    

I didn't check my blood sugar that morning.  I don't have to check it every day.  I AM supposed to check it when I feel 'off' and I just plain didn't do that until just before we were heading to the EMS shelter. Honestly, I've become accustomed to having a very normal reading on my monitor.  And truth is my high isn't high for some folks but it was for me.  Had I checked it, I'd likely known something was at work in my system instead of pushing ahead.

I failed in my own self care in those ways.  Time to adjust myself once again and be more aware of the fact that just because I have managed well, I do  have diabetes and I  must monitor wisely.

Now that pretty much covers my week.  I spent all the rest of Monday, Tuesday and yesterday in recovery mode.  I did feel considerably better Wednesday but at John's insistence, I stayed home and was glad of it.   I felt well as the day went on but was still a little iffy about things in the morning hours.  The same feels true today.

There's a spate of parental ailments going about just now.  Bess' mom was quite ill the previous weekend and when she failed to get any better, Bess went up to check on her.  Good thing she did, too!  Her ailment involved an inner ear infection that is quite dangerous if it goes untreated and is only detectable with a CT scan or MRI.  Thankfully, Bess was there to push for such a test and it was found and treated.

Then Katie contacted us last night to say her father in law was in the hospital ailing.  He had a wake up call sort of  diagnosis...I can't imagine what these kids must think of all of us. Honestly we're none of us old yet but we certainly are keeping them on their toes of late.  I almost feel sorry for them all.

I do recall that it was at about this age that I dealt with the beginning issues of some serious things with my parents...Of course they all lived for years beyond that time but it was some scary stuff.  Maybe it's truly an 'age' thing!  Did I think my parents OLD at this point in their lives.  No, I can't say that I did.  Granny and Grandmama were still living and they were a good 20 years older than both my parents and I didn't think they were old either.  Do our children think we're old?  I'd say no...but I think they are looking at us as being more finite somehow than we might have seemed in their youth. Most important they don't treat us as though we were old and that's a very good thing!

To soothe my need for autumn yesterday I spent the afternoon rambling around on Pinterest looking for autumn images.  Clothes, fireside drinks, rainy misty mornings, drifting leaves, cats snuggled down on blankets near books...I fed my soul autumn as I wish it were at this moment.  I ignored the green lush leaves on the pecan tree outside the window and the sun beating in through the slats of the blinds and the hum of the Air conditioning that never ceased until late afternoon.  I dwelt in sweaters and boots and woodland walks and sipped hot cocoa and mulled cider, though it were only in my mind.  And I came away refreshed and certain that these days will come here to me as well, but just not now.  Sometimes, as I know too well, it may be time for a new season but the season has yet to arrive.  Seasons are not slaves to man's timeline nor to dates on a calendar page or even to the pull of the moon and the shifting of the sun.  Seasons come and go in God's good time.

In the midst of feeling better but not yet well, I asked John to choose a book from the Emilie Loring shelf to read.  I find Mrs. Loring's books lovely in many ways due to the detailed descriptions of rooms or scenery to the higher morals she wrote of as well as the fierce Patriotism.  The book he chose was not however, one of hers but one she'd outlined before her death in 1951.  This book Love with Honor was written by a ghost writer, using Mrs. Loring's notes and outlines.  The book was set in contemporary (at time of publishing) times and contained a touch of that moment's history.  One of the male characters had served in Vietnam.  It was this tidbit of information that led me to look up when the original authoress had died and hence discovered that about 20 novels were written in the 1960's and '70's and republished as paper back romances, which is exactly how I came to know Mrs. Loring's writings in the first place.

I recall reading more than my fair share of these books, as well as Grace Livingston Hill and Barbara Cartland romance novels.   Mama and Granny both purchased these books in quantity and I merely picked them up when they were done.  It's quite a cross section really when you consider that Dame Cartland's books were historical pieces with a lot of gasps and pressing of manly muscles against tender flesh and the other two writers barely hinted at more than a kiss and a lot of  deep realizations of character before love was declared.  It wasn't long before I passed the short lived thrill of Cartland novels up for the depth of the other two authoress's work!    And I might add that my love of both Grace Livingston Hill and Emilie Loring has endured but Barbara Cartland's novels remain but fond memory of the long ago childish taste I once had.

Why I'm writing all this though is to say that this afternoon as I sat here after dinner, feeling slightly drowsy, I went to look up the diabetic recommendations for illness, which soon led to random searches for possible Swagbucks, (I got 9) and ended up with a blog all about Emilie Loring.  You can find it here  and that led to reading a dozen or so of the very first posts on the blog and losing track of time.  I quickly became engrossed in Professor Bender's interviews, visits to home places and vacation houses, photos of places mentioned in novels, etc.  It is not often I get a deeper glimpse into a much loved author's life and I admit that I dig as happily among the past as if it were part of my own...Which it is as all of you know who also have dear, dear friends among your bookshelves with whom you visit often.

One of the things I've always appreciated about Mrs. Loring's novels is that the homemaking details are mixed in nicely with the adventures of the heroine.  Not one of her girl heroines lacked in the homely arts of cooking and making an attractive home.  I was most interested in a blurb on another biography that she'd written her first two books as Josephine Story in the early 1900's and it was several years before she published anything again.  The very first book was a book on homemaking and the second was a book of short essays for mothers.

Well  here we are, pushing on towards the supper hour and having chattered away over mostly nothings...Just as good neighbors so often do, agreed?